Mr. World and Miss Church-Member Part 18

CHAPTER XIV.

THE DEVIL'S TEMPERANCE COLLEGE.

1. Mr. World and his companion visit this immense college, with many wings, all devoted to teaching every phase of the temperance question in accordance with Satan's views.

2. A view of the millions who attend this college.

Automobiles are used by the agents of Satan to convey students and visitors from one college to another of the great University of the World.

I saw Miss Church-Member and her cherished escort leave the College of Literature in one of these up-to-date carriages.

"Shall we tarry at the athletic field?" asked Mr. World as they came to a famous sporting ground.

"Let us rather hasten to the Temperance College," she suggested. But her manner indicated that she did not wish to urge him away from the place of his heart's desire.

"Altogether at your pleasure," he smiled, as he sank back into the comfortable cushions of the conveyance.

They soon reached the desired locality, saw the moving millions from all portions of the earth, and heard the ceaseless babble of their voices harmonizing with the work of this college which was known among the pilgrims of the King's Highway as _The Devil's Temperance College._ It covered many acres of ground, and consisted of many immense buildings, around which cl.u.s.tered many smaller structures serving for auxiliary purposes.

When Mr. World and Miss Church-Member walked about the college grounds, and saw more closely the magnitude and beauty of the edifices, they were so overawed that their tongues offered no comment.

They mingled a while with the merry mult.i.tude, and then at one corner of the group entered the gigantic building devoted to the subject of Temperance and the Bible. They hoped thereby to get the consensus of opinion on one of the complex questions of the day.

At the bureau of information the two companions were directed to the Public Hall of Debate, which was reached by the aid of one of the numerous electric elevators. The Great Hall had an auditorium of one hundred feet in height and a seating capacity fully capable of accommodating the visiting mult.i.tudes. The acoustics were so perfect that one, at the farther end of the room, could easily hear the speaker on the stage. When Mr. World and his friend had entered the hall they were surprised to learn that many of the auditors were members of the more radical churches along the King's Highway.

The corps of high t.i.tled professors who occupied the stage spoke at intervals, or answered questions which were propounded by persons in the audience.

Over the stage I saw in illuminated letters: TEMPERANCE AND THE BIBLE.

An aged man was speaking when the two comrades took seats near the center of the room.

"We are not here," explained the venerable man, "to prove that the Bible is either false or true. We leave that question for other schools to decide. It is our province to show what the Bible teaches on this important theme. Temperance is a word so misused and so abused that it becomes people of sound judgment to go to the rock bottom of the question as viewed in the light of Scripture."

Then, adjusting his green spectacles, the speaker opened the Bible and offered to explain, or to have explained, any part of it that bore on the subject of "Temperance from a Bible Standpoint."

A breathless silence followed until a moderate-drinking church-member arose with Bible in hand. "Did Christians, during the life of Christ, drink wine?" he asked, in a self-righteous manner.

The speaker called upon Mr. Wine Expert who quickly stepped forward from his chair on the stage.

"There can be no doubt," he affirmed, "but that they drank wine freely.

They knew enough in that day not to discard a good thing."

Hundreds of people sprang to their feet, but Mr. Venerable ordered that one should speak at a time and that they all should be seated and first listen to the questioner.

"Was that wine the same, in kind, that Noah drank, as related in Gen.

9:21?"

"Identical."

"And the same that is used to-day in the commercial world?"

"It is the same as the good wine that is used to-day. There are many modern adulterations."

The questioner took his seat. A man from London then obtained the floor. He also held a Bible as he spoke.

"I am a temperance worker in one of the districts of London, and would like to know whether you conclude by your former a.s.sertion concerning the early Christians that the Bible does not speak against wine drinking?"

"Not in a single place. How could it do so consistently?" answered the Devil's expert.

"Will you please turn to Prov. 20:1. 'Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.' How do you harmonize this pa.s.sage with what you have just a.s.serted?" The man from London sat down.

"Quite an easy task for one who has given honest study to the question,"

said Mr. Wine Expert. "Wine is a mocker. Just as wisdom mocks at the calamity of those who reject it in Prov. 1:26. So, wine, personified in a similar manner, mocks at the folly of those who refuse it.

(Applause.) Strong drink is raging. Just as in Jonah 1:15, the sea was raging in protest against Jonah because he refused to preach the truth to the people. So in this pa.s.sage, 'strong drink is raging,' because so many church-members and ministers refuse to preach the real truth to the people on the subject of strong drink. (Prolonged applause.) If there were as much said against me falsely, as has been spoken against strong drink, I would not only rage, but would go raging and foaming over this stage in protest. (Tremendous applause and shouting from the people of the world.) I tell you more, my friends, strong drink will keep on raging as long as old Voices and 'The New Voice'

of cranks and idiots are heard to squeak out their childish nonsense to an enlightened people." (Furious applause and demonstrations.)

"The last part of the pa.s.sage is easily to be understood," continued the speaker. "'Whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.' How could a person be wise who allows himself to be deceived and hoodwinked concerning as good a thing as wine or strong drink?"

"n.o.body, we need not fear," cried out a brewer from one side of the room.

"There is however a host," continued Mr. Wine Expert, "who are woefully deceived, and who are endeavoring to force their deceptions upon the state."

"And I am one of them," shouted a tall man from Kansas, U. S. A., as he violently jumped to his feet, and remained standing.

"I would suggest," calmly interrupted the venerable leader, "that our special photographer take a snap shot of this man. We are always glad to keep a record of such monstrosities. He looks like a fair specimen of a deceived man. (Laughter.) He is lean and bony, and if any one of you never before saw such a man, take a full view of him now. Suppose you," he said, as he continued pointing at the Kansas man, "slowly make a full revolution on your feet so that each one can here see all sides of you,--if you have more than one side." (Great applause amongst the people of the world.)

The man from Kansas stood still till the voice of the insulting outcry died away.

"I can stand abuse; I can stand irony and sarcasm; but I thank G.o.d that where I live I need no longer endure the insults of the Rum Devil.

(Suppressed applause.) If Mr. Venerable thinks I am the only man present who comes under his cla.s.sification of 'deceived persons,' I will demonstrate to him his folly, for there are many thousands here who have not yet bowed the knee to Baal."

"Out of order!" "Put him out!" "Away with him!" came from the audience.

"If there is a person here opposed to the Rum Traffic, let him rise,"

fearlessly continued the tall man.

Up sprang a W. C. T. U. leader; then another person; then a hundred from Maine; yea, a thousand more until over seven thousand, from all parts of the world, stood on their feet.

"Remain standing, I ask you! Let not one of you act the coward! There are others here today, who came in, as I did, to visit. Stand up! Show your colors! If you remain seated you will be cla.s.sed with the enemy.

The time to honor your cause is at hand. I ask you seventy thousand church-members present to choose this day whom you will serve."

Mr. Venerable, who was an experienced man in these uprisings, whispered to an excited saloon-keeper: "Let them proceed. A house divided against itself can not stand."

"I demand order," shouted a high-license advocate who owned a brewery, but the agitated fellow was soon calmed by these personal words from the venerable chairman: "_Let these people go. They will soon get into factional contention and thereby break the point of their steel more effectually than we could do it._"