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Jake's hand immediately lets go of my thigh and he uses it to cup the back of my head and pull my face to his chest.
He knows I'm embarra.s.sed.
I turn slightly and move my eyes to see who interrupted.
Some guy I don't know, stands frozen just outside the mens room. The restroom doors open and two other guys walk out and b.u.mp into the back of him. The smell of weed pours out with them.
"Jake f.u.c.kin' Andrews," one of the guys sing songs.
Jake nods once at them, no emotion on his face.
"Holy s.h.i.t, dude," another says, his eyes roaming me. "You got fire!"
The guys walk past and all pat his back on the way out, laughing to themselves.
Jake pulls me back to look at him, "You okay?"
I nod, blushing a little. "What does that mean? You got fire?"
He laughs once, shaking his head, "It means they think you're hot."
"Oh."
*Jake*
We spend another hour or so at the club, but I'm beat from waking up at 5am so we catch a cab home.
I walk her up to her door but I don't want to leave her, I don't want to spend the night apart.
"So... Goodnight," she says through a yawn.
"Goodnight," I tell her, bringing her in so I can kiss her temple.
I don't make a move to leave, I just stand there, because I don't want to go.
I know I'm screwed, and I know I'm in way over my head with this girl, but I can't f.u.c.king help it.
She smiles a little before looking down and opening her door, but she doesn't close it.
She just goes to her bathroom, and I stand there, outside her door, watching her. She gets out of the bathroom dressed in pajamas and climbs into bed. The whole time not looking at me, not saying a word.
I take it as an invitation and walk in. I stand on the opposite side of the bed and start to strip off until I'm in my boxers and I get into bed with here.
We lay there, on our backs, looking up at the ceiling.
She reaches down and takes my hand in hers under the covers, our fingers entwined.
I think about tonight, and I can't get it out of my head. I think about that a.s.shole, and who the f.u.c.k he was, what the f.u.c.k he was doing buying my girl a drink.
I let out a sigh.
She must know what I'm thinking because she says, "Jake, if there's something you want to ask me, just ask."
"If you knew I wanted to ask you, why wouldn't you just tell me?"
It's her turn to sigh.
She turns her head to look at me. "I don't like playing games, Jake."
I turn my head to do the same. "Then don't."
This time, she moves her whole body so she's facing me, and so I do the same. Our faces inches apart but our bodies not touching.
Our fingers still entwined between us.
"His name's Andrew. He went to my school. He's James' best friend. He bought me the drink because he knows I love it, he introduced me to it."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because, I wasn't sure how you felt about me talking about James. Plus, you didn't ask."
"What did he say to you?" My hand goes up to move the hair from her face to behind her ear. "You looked sad for a moment there."
"He just said that he was sorry about what happened that night, with James and with my family. He said that even though his best friend is a d.i.c.k, doesn't mean that he is. I was sad because he said that he would miss me when we went off to college, we were friends too, you know? And it shouldn't have to end because James is an a.s.shole."
I take a deep audible breath in, then huff it out loudly.
"You should have just told me." I say to her.
"You should have just asked," she replies.
It's quiet for a few moments.
"I don't know that it's my place to ask. I mean, do I have a right to ask?"
"Who was the girl, Jake?"
"She was no one"
Silence.
I tell her, "She's this girl that went to my school, she's the coach's daughter. She threw herself at me and I stopped it as soon as I knew what was happening. Swear it."
She sighs out a breath and moves closer to me. Burying her face in my chest. I hold onto her.
"You have the right to ask, Jake. But you have no reason to."
Chapter 29.
*Mikayla*
"So, Lucy's all up in this girls face, picks up a random drink from one of the tables, and throws it at her," Cam says laughing.
"What did she say afterwards? It was so f.u.c.king funny." Logan joins in, trying to remember.
Apparently after we left the club some girl was at the bar next to Cam trying to get him to notice her, and when he brushed her off, she grabbed his junk. Not in a bad way, but like... a seductive way.
"Oh yeah!" Logan laughs out. Then, with his high pitched girl voice, neck snap, fingers clicking att.i.tude, "My man would never touch you, you f.u.c.king s.l.u.t! You're so f.u.c.king ugly it's like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a G.o.dd.a.m.n fork!"
We all crack up.
We're at Lucy's cabin, drinking around a bonfire.
It's good times.
"I was so f.u.c.king turned on by it." Cam says.
Lucy just sits quietly.
"And she knew it too," Cam continues, "she turns into this animal when she knows I'm turned on, she blew me in the car on the drive home!"
"What?" Heidi yells, disgusted look on her face.
The boys all cheer for Cam and I stifle my laughter into Jake's neck. I feel his body shake with that deep throaty chuckle I love so much. I go to look at his face but his cap is in the way. I flip it backwards so I can get closer to him and he looks down and smiles at me.
I look to Lucy but she doesn't say anything, just looks down and blushes. It must be true.
After the laughter dies down a little, Logan sighs out loud. "I can't wait to get the f.u.c.k out of this hick town." We all look at him.
His eyes are red and his lids are droopy. He's obviously beyond buzzed. He's been slurring his words the last hour and he hasn't stopped drinking. I asked Jake if we should cut him off, but he a.s.sures me that he knows his limit.
"I just kinda get sick of being the seventh wheel, you know?" He's still looking down but we all eye each other curiously. It's a big deal when Logan has something serious to say, so we listen.
"I mean, even before Jake met Micky," I tense but Jake's hands squeeze me rea.s.suringly, "when he was single, it wasn't like he was on the prowl or anything, but he didn't care, you know? It was never about girls with him. I just... I dunno. Sometimes I watch all you guys and I want that. I know I'm an a.s.shole but it's not like..." he shrugs to himself.
We look from each other to Logan, I guess we never thought this was something he ever felt.
"I mean, I see you guys, that you all get each other, that you want to be around each other all the f.u.c.king time, and you're there you know, through all of it. I finish my days and I got no one to go to, n.o.body gives a s.h.i.t if I have a bad day or not. I just..." He sighs out a heavy breath and looks to the sky, hand rubbing through his hair.
"I dunno, I mean I know I sleep around and I'm an a.s.shole but it's not like I haven't been looking. I just haven't found anyone that makes me feel anything. Not like the way you all feel about each other. I guess I'm just wasted..." he trails off.
No one says anything. What do you say to that?
"Come for a walk with me?" Jake asks, his hand held out.
So I do.
We end up sitting on a dock I didn't know existed.
"Your friends are great, Jake."
"Yeah, they're good people, they like you."
I smile to myself, because I do too. Like them, I mean.
We're sitting cross legged facing each other, the moon the only source of light.
His hands reach out to take both of mine, his fingers playing with the rings on my right hand. He lifts it to his mouth and kisses my ring finger, like it's the most natural thing in the world for him.
"So that was crazy, right? What Logan said," he asks.
"Yeah, I mean, I guess so. But not everyone finds someone they want to be with this young. Even for a little bit, you know?"
"Yeah," he agrees. "It sucks for him. Not having someone, I mean."
"Yeah, I guess."
A comfortable silence falls over us for a few minutes, both of us looking elsewhere.
Then he laughs a little, "You know my parents still make out like teenagers sometimes, I've seen it."
"Really?" I ask. "That's so fricken cute."
"You mean gross?"
We're looking at each other now.
"No, Jake," I say quietly, shaking my head, "I mean cute. Could you imagine finding someone you can't keep your hands off?"
He laughs once, "Yeah, Kayla. I can actually." He's looking straight at me.
"And then like, 20 years from now, you still feel the same way. Could you imagine how good that would be?" I ask.
He's still staring at me, concentrating on my words, "Yeah, Kayla. I can imagine exactly what it would be like."
His gaze is so intense.
Like looking into the sun.
I have to look away.