His Royal Highness, Wants A Divorce! Chapter 13

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The chefs saw the Crown Princess entering the kitchen again and looked at each other as they stood at the back. 　

The Crown Princess had kicked them out the last time, so they did not know what he had been doing inside. But they still remembered the moment they had asked the steward when he had emerged with a bloated tummy, and he had looked at them with sympathy. 

The steward had said, “No offense, but you guys are lucky the Crown Prince is away. Otherwise, you may be the last batch of chefs to be replaced.” 　

Therefore, they had mixed feelings when they saw the Crown Princess setting foot into the kitchen again. On one hand, they wanted to see the dish from the State of Chu that could make the steward say such words; perhaps they could even conveniently copy the recipe. On the other hand, they did not want the Crown Princess to access the kitchen. After all, serving in the Crown Prince’s residence was a golden rice bowl1, and they did not want to lose it.

Yan Ke naturally did not expect his small action to make waves in the hearts of the people from the kitchen.

He washed the vegetables quickly before cutting them, handling all the details with precision. Whichever part had needed craving, he did not slack off because the ancient people did not know how to appreciate them. 　　

He was a creature of habit, and he was especially fastidious when it came to food presentation. Although it was unnecessary, there was no takeout service now, and it was unlikely anyone would deliver food over such a long distance. Horses were the only thing they could rely on for delivery. Yan Ke was already thankful as long as the food was not spilled after such a b.u.mpy ride on the horses for the whole day. So for the time being, he cast aside his concern regarding its eventual appearance after the trip.

Although he did not mind, he still refrained from making any gravy or soup out of consideration for that hot-tempered Crown Prince.

They watched Yan Ke with a spoon in his hand. Whether he was seasoning, controlling the fire, or so on, his mastery was flawless. The whole dining room was filled with the aroma of food, and everyone gulped down their saliva.

The last dish of braised spare ribs was done. Yan Ke had prepared enough for a banquet. Upon seeing the dishes on the table and the despairing look of several messengers, Yan Ke scratched his head. 　　

Yan Ke said, “If you can’t bring that many dishes, then just choose some of the better ones to deliver.” 　　

Yan Ke had only prepared the dishes because he had enjoyed doing so and could not hold himself back. Other than the last time he had made a few dishes for himself, he had not set foot in the kitchen for a long time. So he had forgotten himself once he had started cooking. These dishes were for the Crown Prince at the frontier, and the horses had to charge full steam ahead for a day in order to deliver it.

The messengers hurriedly shook their hands and replied in unison. “We can bring them!”

The steward sent someone out onto the streets to get some parchment paper to wrap the pastries. Yan Ke took it and wrapped up every dish neatly before he put it into the wooden box. Then he placed layers of wood shavings within to absorb the impact of the shock. Yan Ke’s eyes shone as he clapped his hands.

He sighed with emotion in his heart. I’m really capable!

Thinking Yan Ke ought to be tired after preparing so many dishes, the steward made him rest. 　

Meanwhile, he busied himself with helping to secure the stuff on the horses’ backs.

When the messengers were ready to leave, Yan Ke came out of the room and threw a letter into the wooden box. 　

Yan Ke said, “Thanks for all your hard work.” 

The messengers hurriedly smiled and said nothing when they saw the Crown Princess being so courteous; they were all overwhelmed and honored. 　

Yan Ke watched the messengers set off and began the calculations in his mind. Of course, he did not dare to tell Meng You that he had made the dishes himself. However, there were hints in the letter, one even using Meng You’s golden sentence. “Your Highness, you must remember my great kindness. It’ll come in handy in the future.”

The steward glanced at Yan Ke, who had been staring in the direction where the messengers had left. A gratified smile emerged on his face. 　

The steward said, “Your Highness, please rest. You got up early in the morning and made so many dishes even before you have recovered. The Crown Prince will surely know how virtuous you are!”

If he doesn’t, this old man will write a letter to tell him!

Of course, the steward would never say the last sentence out. What if he had said it and the Crown Princess still remembered the steward’s words even if the Crown Prince had come to realize it himself without help? If the Crown Princess had thought the steward was the one feeding clues to the Crown Prince, wouldn’t that affect the two lovebirds’ relationship?!

Yan Ke was lost in thought and looked perplexedly at the steward. “Will he?”

Will he remember my great kindness and serve me the divorce papers? Will he let me take my dowry and escape somewhere far away?

The steward nodded affirmatively. “He will! Our Crown Prince is not a heartless person. Your Highness, let this old slave tell you on the sly. Before you arrived, our Crown Prince actually did not want this marriage. He kneeled outside the Emperor’s chamber for several days until the Emperor finally got the Imperial Guards to detain him in the Crown Prince’s residence. We were initially worried the Crown Prince would mistreat you when you arrived. But look at what happened? As soon as the Crown Prince saw your injuries, he imprisoned General Su and took care of you day and night. This old slave had never seen the Crown Prince being so attentive to anyone!”

Yan Ke smiled.

Not that he was measuring the stature of great men with the yardstick of petty men, but… it was obvious. The reason he locked General Su up was not entirely because of Yan Ke; most likely, he was just venting his anger. After all, if it was not because of Su Yu stirring up the hornet’s nest, they would not have been forced into this marriage!

Also, as for taking care of him day and night…

Yan Ke was honestly a little surprised to learn of it. That bad-tempered Crown Prince was truly a gentleman for not staging the ‘online murder of a sick husband’.2 

Of course, the steward did not say anything that was not conducive to the harmony between husband and husband, for example… how their Crown Prince had carried the Crown Princess in.

For example… how crudely their Crown Prince had wrapped up the Crown Princess into a dumpling.

Naturally, these were not mentionable.

Yan Ke had woken up too early. He was about to grab a bite from the kitchen before returning to sleep when someone pulled his hand. Looking back, he saw Tang Qi standing behind him with a smug expression. Looking further back, his gaze fell upon the several young masters dressed extravagantly behind Tang Qi. 

These faces were unfamiliar to him. He doubted he had seen them before.

When he saw the steward beside him greeting them, understanding dawned on him. These were probably Meng You’s friends in the capital.

Tang Qi patted Yan Ke on the shoulder: “Your Highness, the last time I came to visit you, you were afraid of gossip, so I found a few more people to come along.”

Yan Ke did not even raise his eyes. He was a man who, sometimes, really bore grudges!

Yan Ke, “What? You want to try me together?” 

Tang Qi’s face turned a shade of auburn, and he silently moved a distance away from Yan Ke. “…” 

He had experienced it once, and so he understood what Yan Ke was implying this time.

However, the other buddies pulled him aside with a blank face.

And asked, “Huh? We still need to fight the Crown Princess to ask him out to play?”

Tang Qi, “…”

At this point, Yan Ke burst out laughing. Sometimes, these ancient people were silly to the point of being adorable! 

The steward noted that Yan Ke did not seem to be that opposed to the idea, so he prompted, “Your Highness, these are good friends on the Crown Prince. Your Highness can go with them for a breath of fresh air.” 

Yan Ke lifted his eyelids wearily. In this place where there are no electronic goods, going out for a breath of fresh air was really just to breathe in the fresh air. What other entertainment could there be besides wandering around in the streets? He reckoned that these buddies would not have the guts to take him to the brothel.

Boring, so boring. It was not as cozy as remaining at home to sleep and wait for Meng You’s divorce papers.

The steward said nothing and simply directed a few secret guards to follow, then gave a few words of instructions to Tang Qi.

Steward, “Imperial Guard Tang. Please watch over our Crown Princess. He is not familiar with the capital.”

Tang Qi looked as if he had ants in his pants. He listened to the steward and nodded his head furiously.

Yan Ke was nearly shoved out by the steward. The Crown Prince’s residence was situated not far away from the most prosperous street, so as soon as they walked out of the main entrance, they could see the thriving streets of the City of Yue’s capital. It was by a curious coincidence that Yan Ke took the first step out.

Apart from chasing Meng You to the city gate the other time, this was the first time he had stepped out. He was just like Granny Liu who had entered the Grand View Garden.3 Here he was, a modern man who has experienced everything from flying in the sky, watching TV and other high technology, and yet, he could only be described as a peasant in this place.

The young masters looked at Yan Ke, not daring to step forward to strike up a conversation with him, especially after Tang Qi had received a taste of Yan Ke’s golden tongue despite having several encounters with him previously. 

Eventually, someone could not endure this mindless wandering and asked, “Shall we go somewhere to play?”

Yan Ke stopped in his tracks and looked at the young masters with a smile. “I’m not familiar with the capital. You guys make the arrangements.”

Tang Qi, “…”

It was an amiable expression he had never seen before on the Crown Princess’s face.

Tang Qi, “Everyone usually breaks the ice on the first meeting over a cup of wine. Why don’t… we go to the wine tavern?”

Yan Ke, “Brothel?”

Tang Qi corrected him. “Your Highness, it’s the wine tavern.”

Yan Ke’s eyes lit up. “Sure, let’s go to the brothel!”

Visiting a brothel! Would he finally get the chance to visit a real brothel?!

Tang Qi and several young masters, “…”　　

No matter how dumb Tang Qi was, he could sense that Yan Ke was doing it on purpose. He awkwardly looked and made eyes at the other buddies who did not lift a finger to help him. 

The result was obvious. His buddies’ att.i.tudes had made it clear: When it wasn’t the crucial moment, they would take the stabbings4 for their buddies. 

When it came to the pivotal moment, they could even stab their buddies.5

Tang Qi made one last struggle. “Your Highness, it’s tavern…”

“Brothel, no? Did I hear wrong?” There was a trace of puzzlement cleverly hidden in Yan Ke’s expression.

Everyone shook their heads together.

Tang Qi, who had been stabbed in the back, “…”

Tang Qi, “Then… Let’s go.” 

With him around, nothing untoward should happen, right?! Then again, there shouldn’t be anyone who dared to touch Meng You’s man…

Yan Ke happily followed after Tang Qi from behind, pulling him as they walked to ask him questions. “Tang Qi, are there women soliciting patrons at the entrance of this brothel?”

Tang Qi sweated, “No idea, I have never been there…”

Yan Ke continued, “I watched TV. The girls there were waving silk scarves and waving them at pa.s.sing men, beckoning, ‘Gentlemen, come in for some fun.’”

The scene automatically played out in Tang Qi’s mind. Towards the end, he turned around to look at Yan Ke with some difficulty, feeling as if his decapitated head was already hanging on Meng You’s waist belt. Tang Qi asked, “Your Highness, are you a… regular?” 

Yan Ke shook his head. “Oh, I’ve never been there!”　　

Tang Qi suddenly heaved a sigh of relief and laughed. “Good to know! Good to know!”

After listening to the increasingly absurd conversation, the young masters walking behind them had already started to discuss how to elegantly shift the blame without hurting their brotherly ties.

“Earlier on, it was Tang Qi who was the first to suggest going to the brothel, right?”

“He was the one who suggested it first.”

“Fine then. Let’s do this. When the Crown Prince returns, we just have to report as it is.” 

Tang Qi, “…”

Did anyone still remember that he was initially prepared to go to the wine tavern to hang out over a cup of wine?

At the same time, Yan Ke reproved him in his heart. Look at how big and round your cauldron of blame is!

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Some Rights ReservedFootnotes金饭碗 Golden rice bowl; a well-paying occupation with guaranteed job security, steady income and benefits.病夫 means ‘sick man’, but 夫 also means husband, so 病夫 could also be taken to mean ‘sick husband’.刘姥姥进了大观园 It describes a scene in the “Dream of the Red Chamber’ 《红楼梦》, one of China’s cla.s.sics, where a character named Granny Liu visited the Grand View Garden for the first time. It refers to someone simple who is overwhelmed by new experiences and luxurious surroundings.两肋插刀 literally translated as getting stabbed on both sides. It means to sacrifice oneself for friends.插兄弟两刀了a wordplay on 两肋插刀, literally stabbing their buddies. i.e., to turn around and stab them in the back.