Miscellanea Part 23

"O ye Muslims!" he began, "what am I to say--"

But before the words were fairly out of his mouth the congregation cried out with one voice, "_We_ know, good Khoja! We know!"

"Oh, if you _know_--" said the Khoja sarcastically, and shrugging his shoulders, and lifting his eyebrows, he left the place as one who feels that he can be of no further use.

"This is worse than before," said the Muslims in despair. But after a while they took counsel, and said, "Let him come once more, and we will not lose our sermon this time. If he asks the same question we will reply that some of us know, but that some of us do not know."

So when the Khoja next appeared before the congregation, and after he had cried as before, "O Brethren! do ye know what I am about to say?"

they answered, "Some of us know, but some of us do not know."

"How nice!" said the Khoja, smiling benevolently upon the crowd beneath him, as he prepared to take his departure. "Then those of you who know can explain it all to those who do not know."

_Tale_ 28.--The Khoja and the Hors.e.m.e.n.

One day when Khoja Effendi was crossing a certain desert plain a troop of hors.e.m.e.n suddenly appeared riding towards him.

"No doubt these are Bedawee robbers," thought the Khoja, "who will kill me without remorse for the sake of the Cadi's ferejeh which I wear." And in much alarm he hastened towards a cemetery which he had perceived to be near. Here he quickly stripped off his clothes, and, having hidden them, crept naked into an empty tomb and lay down.

But the hors.e.m.e.n pursued after him, and by and by they came into the cemetery, and one of them peeped into the tomb and saw the Khoja.

"Here is the man we saw!" cried the horseman; and he said to the Khoja, "What are you lying there for, and where are your clothes?"

"The dead have no possessions, O Bedawee!" replied the Khoja. "I am buried here. If you saw me on the plain as I used to appear in life, without doubt you are one of those who can see ghosts and apparitions."

_Tale_ 29.--The Ox Trespa.s.sing.

One day Khoja Effendi, repairing to a piece of ground which belonged to him, found that a strange ox had got into the enclosure. The Khoja took a thick stick to beat it with, but the beast, seeing him coming, ran away and escaped.

Next week the Khoja met a Turk driving the ox, which was harnessed to a waggon.

Thereupon the Khoja took a stick in his hand, and, running after the ox, belaboured it soundly. "O man!" cried the Turk, "what are you beating my beast for?"

"Hold your tongue, you fool," said the Khoja, "and don't meddle with what doesn't concern you. _The ox knows well enough._"

_Tale_ 30.--The Khoja's Camel.

The next time Khoja Effendi was obliged to take a journey he resolved to accompany a caravan for protection.

Now the Khoja had lately become possessed of a valuable camel, and he said to himself, "I will ride my camel instead of going on foot; the journey will then be a pleasure, and I shall not be fatigued." So he mounted the camel and set forth.

But as he was riding with the caravan the camel stumbled, and the Khoja was thrown off and severely hurt. The people of the caravan coming to his a.s.sistance found that he was stunned, but after a while they succeeded in restoring him.

When the Khoja came to his senses he tore his clothes, and cried in great rage and indignation, "O Muslims! you do not know what care I have taken of this camel, and this is how I am rewarded! Will no one kill it for me? It has done its best to kill me."

But his friends said, "Be appeased, most worthy Effendi, we could not kill your valuable camel."

"O benefactors!" replied the Khoja, "since you desire the brute's life it must be spared. But it shall have no home with me. I am about to drive it into the desert, where it may stumble to its heart's content."

So the Khoja drove the camel away; but before he did so he tore the furniture and trappings furiously from its back, crying, "I won't leave you a rag, you ungrateful beast!"

And he pursued his journey on foot, carrying the camel's furniture as best as he might.

_Tale_ 31.--An Open Question.

The Khoja wanted vegetables for cooking, so he took a sack and slipped into a neighbouring garden, which was abundantly supplied. He picked some herbs, and pulled up some turnips, and got a little of everything he could find to fill his bag. Both hands were full, when the gardener suddenly appeared and seized him.

"What are you doing here?" said the gardener.

The Khoja was confounded, and not being able to find a good excuse, he said, "A very strong wind blew during the night. Having driven me a long way, it blew me here."

"Oh," said the gardener; "but who plucked these herbs which I see in your hands?"

"The wind was so very strong," answered the Khoja, "that when it blew me into this place I clutched with both hands at the first things I could lay hold of, lest it should drive me further. And so they remain in my grasp."

"Oh," said the gardener; "but who put these into the sack, I wonder?"

"That is just what puzzles me," the Khoja replied; "I was thinking about it when you came in."

_Tale_ 32.--The Spurting Fountain.

One summer's day the Khoja had come a long way, and was very hot and thirsty. By and by he perceived a fountain, of which the pipe was stopped up with a piece of wood.

"Now I shall quench my thirst," said the Khoja, and he pulled out the stopper, on which the water rushed out with vehement force over the Khoja's head, and drenched him in a moment.

"Ah!" cried the Khoja angrily, "it's because of your running so madly that they have stuck that stick into you, I suppose."

_Tale_ 33.--Well-meant Soup.

One day as the Khoja was returning home he met a party of students walking together.

"Good-evening, Effendis!" said he. "Pray come home with me, and we will have some soup."

The students did not think twice about accepting the invitation, and they followed the Khoja home to his house.

"Pray be seated," said the Khoja, and when they had seated themselves he went to the upper room. "Wife," said he, "I have brought home some guests. Let us give them a good bowl of soup."

"O Effendi!" cried the wife, "is there any b.u.t.ter in the house? Is there any rice? Have you brought anything home for me to make it of, that you ask for soup?"

"Give me the soup-bowl," said the Khoja. Then taking the empty bowl in his hand he returned to the students.

"O Effendis!" said he, "be good enough, I beseech you, to take the will for the deed. You are indeed most welcome, and if there had been b.u.t.ter or rice, or anything else in our house, you would have had excellent soup out of this very bowl."