Midnight Part 36

"--Already dead!" Carroll did not know if his lips framed the words or if the walls of the room had echoed. He was startled at a time when he fancied that there could be no further surprise in store for him. He found himself eyeing the woman and he wondered that he gave credence to her statement.

Naomi was sitting straight, large black eyes dilated, hands gripping the arms of the chair tightly, lips slightly parted. Even under the stress of the moment Carroll was actually conscious of her feminine allure; unable to free himself of her hypnotic personality. She spoke--but he scarcely heard her words through his chaos of thought.

"He was dead--before I got into the taxi-cab."

He saw that she was fighting to impress upon him the truth of her well-nigh unbelievable statement, that every atom of her brain strove desperately to convince him. And then she relaxed suddenly, as though from too great strain, and a shudder pa.s.sed over her.

"I knew--I knew--"

"You knew _what_, Mrs. Lawrence?"

"I knew that you would not believe me. Oh! it's true--this story I am telling you. But I knew no one could believe it--it stretches one's credulity too far. That is why I have kept silent through all these days which have pa.s.sed--that and a desire to save Evelyn and my husband."

"You love your husband?" Carroll bit his lips. The question had slipped out before he realized that he had formed the words. But she did not evade the issue--

"I despise him, Mr. Carroll. But he has played square with me--more so than I have with him. And publication of this would hurt him--"

"Because he cares for you?"

"No. But because he is proud: because he is jealous of his personal possessions--of which I am one."

"I see--And Mr. Warren--?"

She spread her hands in a helpless, hopeless gesture. "What's the use, Mr. Carroll? Why, should I wrack myself with the story when you do not even believe the reason upon which it is based? If you only believed me when I tell you that when I got into the taxicab Roland had already been killed--"

"I do believe that," returned Carroll gently.

She inbreathed sharply, then her eyes narrowed a trifle. "Do you mean that--or is it bait to make me talk?"

"I can not do more than repeat my statement. I believe what you have told me."

She held his eyes for a moment, then slowly hers shrank from the contact.

"You are telling me the truth," she ventured.

"And if you will tell me the whole story, Mrs. Lawrence--I shall see what I can do for you."

"What is there to do for me? There is no way to keep my name from it--my name and the story of the mistake which I made--was willing to make."

"Good G.o.d! No."

"If we--" he used the p.r.o.noun unconsciously--"can establish that, there may be some way of keeping the details from the public. Suppose you start at the beginning--and tell me what there is to tell?"

She hesitated. "Everything?"

"Everything--or nothing. A portion of the story will not help either of us. Of course you don't have to--"

Impulsively she leaned forward. "There is something about you, Mr.

Carroll, which makes me trust you. I feel that you are a friend rather than an enemy."

He bowed gratefully. "Thank you."

"It really began shortly after my marriage to Mr. Lawrence--" she had started her story before she knew it. "I knew that I had made a mistake.

He is nearly thirteen years older than I--a man of icy disposition, a nature which is cruel in its frigidity. I am not that--that kind of a woman, Mr. Carroll. I should not have married that type of man.

"He was good enough to me in his own peculiar way. I have a little money of my own: he is wealthy. He liked to dress me up and show me off. He was liberal with money--if not with kindness--when there was trouble in my family. After my parents died he allowed Evelyn to live with us. They have never liked one another--the more reason why I am grateful to him for allowing her to remain in the house.

"That is the life we have led together. We have long since ceased to have anything in common. He has kept to himself and I have remained alone. So far as the world knew--our home life was tranquil. Unbearably so--to a nature like mine which loves love--and life.

"I grew to hate my husband as a man much as I admired him in certain ways for his brain and his achievement. Our individualities are millions of miles apart. There was no oneness in our married life. And gradually he learned that I hated him--and he became contemptuous. That stung my pride. He didn't care. I felt--felt uns.e.xed!

"No need to go into further detail. Sufficient to say that I became desperate for a little affection, a little kindness, a little recognition of the fact that I am a woman--and a not entirely unattractive one. It was about then that I met Roland Warren.

"I wonder if you understand women, Mr. Carroll? I wonder if it is possible for you to comprehend their psychological reactions? Because if you cannot--you will never understand what Roland Warren meant to me. You will never understand the condition which has led to--this tragedy."

She paused and Carroll nodded. "You can trust me to understand."

"I believe you do. I believe you understand something of what was going on within me when Roland came into my life. In the light of what has transpired, the fact that I was neglected by my husband seems absurd--trivial. But it is not absurd--it is _not_ trivial!

"Mr. Warren was kind to me. He was attentive--courteous--I believe that he really loved me. I may have been fooled, of course. Starved as I was for the affection of a man, I may have been blind to the sincerity of his protestations. But I believed him.

"As to how I felt toward him: I don't know. I liked him--admired him. I believe that I loved him. But again we are faced with the abnormal condition in which I found myself. I believe I loved him as I believe he loved me. He represented a chance for life when for three years I had been dead--living and breathing--yet dead as a woman. And that is the most terrible of all deaths.

"We planned to elope. Don't ask me how I could consider such a thing.

There is no answer possible. It wasn't a sane decision--but I decided that I would. There was the craving to get away from things--to try to start over. To revel in the richest things of life for awhile. I was selfish--unutterably so. I didn't think then of the effect on my husband--or of the effect on Evelyn. I was selfish--yes. But immoral--no!

What I planned to do--under the circ.u.mstances--was not immoral. Even yet I cannot convince myself that it was.

"Roland laid all his plans to leave the city. In all my delirium of preparation--the hiding and the secrecy--I felt sincerely sorry for only one person, and that person was Hazel Gresham to whom Mr. Warren was engaged. I believe she was in love with him. But so was I--and if he loved me--as I said before, Mr. Carroll--I was selfish!

"On the morning of the day we were to go--my husband was in Nashville, you know--Mr. Warren came to the house in his car. He showed me that he had reserved a drawing-room for us to New York. In order that we would not be seen together, he gave me one of the railroad tickets. I was to reach the Union Station ten minutes before train time. If you recall--the train on which we were to go was quite late that night.

"We planned not to talk to one another at the station until after boarding the train. Morning would have published news of the scandal broadcast, but until the irrevocable step had been taken--we determined to avoid gossip. And, Mr. Carroll--I was then--what is called a 'good woman'. My faithlessness up to that time, and to this moment, had been mental--and mental only.

"When he left me that morning he took with him my suit-case. We had agreed that I was not to take a trunk: that I was to buy--a trousseau--in New York. I looked upon it almost as a honeymoon. He took my suit-case to the Union Station and checked it there. I did not see him again that day."

"Toward evening--knowing that my husband was not due back until the following morning, and realizing that I could not leave Evelyn alone in the house--I suggested that she spend the night with Hazel Gresham. She was surprised--knowing that I dread to be alone at night--but was ready enough to go. I was not overcome with either emotion or shame when I told her good-bye that afternoon. I was so hungry for happiness that I was dead to the other emotions.

"I went to the station that night in a street car. I had telephoned in advance and learned that the train was late. The night was the worst of the winter--bitterly cold. When I reached the station, I saw that Roland was already there, and as he saw me enter, he left through the opposite door--walking out to the platform which parallels the railroad tracks.

"Then from the outside, he motioned me to follow. He wanted to talk to me, but would not risk doing so where we might be seen. I sat down for awhile, then, as casually as I could, followed him onto the station platform. I saw him down at the far end near the baggage room. Again he motioned to me to follow him. And he started out past the baggage room into the railroad yards.

"I was very grateful to him. He was taking no risk of our being seen together. I followed slowly--not seeing him, but knowing that he would be waiting for me out there. You understand where I mean? It is in that section of the railroad yards where through trains leave their early morning Pullmans--the tracks are parallel to Atlantic Avenue--and also the main line tracks running into the Union Station shed.

"I was conscious of the intense cold, but excitement buoyed me up. I pa.s.sed through the gate which ordinarily bars pa.s.sengers from the tracks, but which that night had either been left open or opened by Roland. The wind, as I stepped from under the shelter of the station shed, was terrific: howling across the yards, stinging with sleet. It was very slippery under foot--I had to watch closely. And I was just a trifle nervous because here and there through the yards I could see lanterns--yard workers and track walkers, I presume. And occasionally the headlight of a switch engine zigzagged across the tracks--I was afraid I'd be caught in the glare--

"Finally, I saw Warren. He had walked about a hundred and fifty yards down the track and was standing in the shelter of the Pullman office building. It was very dark there--just enough light for me to make out his silhouette. I started forward--then stopped: frightened.

"For I distinctly saw the figure of a man coming into the yards from Atlantic Avenue. From the moment I noticed him I had the peculiar impression that the man had not only seen Mr. Warren and intended speaking to him--but also that the meeting was not unexpected. I stopped where I was and strained my eyes through the darkness--

"I could not see much--save that they were talking. Of course I could hear nothing. I was shivering--but more with premonition of tragedy than with the terrific cold. Then suddenly I saw the two shadows merge--the combined shadow whirled strangely. I knew that Mr. Warren was fighting with this other man.