Microcosmography Part 24

Cowards they be, branded among the worst, Who (through contempt of Atheisme), neuer durst Crowd neere a great man's elbow to suggest Smooth tales with glosse, or Enuy well addrest.

These be the noted cowards of our age; Who be not able to instruct the stage With matter of new shamelesse impudence Who cannot almost laugh at innocence; And purchase high preferment by the waies, Which had bene horrible in Nero's dayes.

They are the shamefull cowards, who contemne Vices of state, or cannot flatter them; Who can refuse advantage, or deny Villanous courses, if they can espye Some little purchase to inrich their chest Though they become vncomfortably blest.

We still account those cowards, who forbeare (Being possess'd with a religious feare) To slip occasion, when they might erect Hornes on a tradesman's noddle, or neglect The violation of a virgin's bed With promise to requite her maiden-head.

Basely low-minded we esteeme that man Who cannot swagger well, or (if he can) Who doth not with implacable desire, Follow revenge with a consuming fire.

Extortious rascals, when they are alone, Bethinke how closely they have pick'd each bone, Nay, with a frolicke humour, they will brag, How blancke they left their empty client's bag.

Which dealings if they did not giue delight, Or not refresh their meetings in despight, They would accounted be both weake, vnwise, And, like a timorous coward, too precise.

Your handsome-bodied youth (whose comely face May challenge all the store of Nature's grace,) If, when a l.u.s.tfull lady doth inuite, By some lasciuious trickes his deere delight, If then he doth abhorre such wanton ioy; Whose is not almost ready to destroy Ciuility with curses, when he heares The tale recited? blaming much his years, Or modest weaknesse, and with cheeks ful-blown Each man will wish the case had beene his own.

Graue holy men, whose habite will imply Nothing but honest zeale, or sanct.i.ty, Nay so vprighteous will their actions seeme, As you their thoughts religion will esteeme.

Yet these all-sacred men, who daily giue Such vowes, wold think themselves vnfit to liue, If they were artlesse in the flattering vice, Euen as it were a daily sacrifice: Children deceiue their parents with expence: Charity layes aside her conscience, And lookes vpon the fraile commodity Of monstrous bargaines with a couetous eye: And now the name of _generosity_, Of _n.o.ble cariage_ or _braue dignity_, Keepe such a common skirmish in our bloud, As we direct the measure of things good, By that, which reputation of estate, Glory of rumor, or the present rate Of sauing pollicy doth best admit.

We do employ materials of wit, Knowledge, occasion, labour, dignity, Among our spirits of audacity, Nor in our gainefull proiects do we care For what is pious, but for what we dare.

Good humble men, who haue sincerely layd Saluation for their hope, we call _afraid_.

But if you will vouchsafe a patient eare, You shall perceiue, men impious haue most feare."

The second edition possesses the following t.i.tle--"_New Essayes and Characters, with a new Satyre in defence of the Common Law, and Lawyers: mixt with reproofe against their Enemy Ignoramus, &c. London, 1631._" It seems not improbable that some person had attacked Stephens's first edition, although I am unable to discover the publication alluded to. I suspect him to be the editor of, or one of the contributors to, the later copies of Sir Thomas Overbury's _Wife_, &c.: since one of Stephens's friends, (a Mr. I. c.o.c.ke) in a poetical address prefixed to his _New Essayes_, says "I am heere enforced to claime 3 characters following the Wife[CR]; viz. the _Tinker_, the _Apparatour_, and _Almanack-maker_, that I may signify the ridiculous and bold dealing of an vnknowne botcher: but I neede make no question what he is; for his hackney similitudes discouer him to be the rayler above-mentioned, whosoeuer that rayler be."

FOOTNOTES:

[CP] c.o.xeter, in his MSS. notes to Gildon's _Lives of the Eng. Dram.

Poets_, in the Bodleian, says that the second edition was in 8vo. 1613, "_Essays and Characters, Ironical and Instructive_," but this must be a mistake.

[CQ]

"Who takes thy volume to his vertuous hand, Must be intended still to vnderstand: Who bluntly doth but looke vpon the same, May aske, _what author would conceale his name?_ Who reads may roaue, and call the pa.s.sage darke, Yet may, as blind men, sometimes. .h.i.t the marke.

Who reads, who roaues, who hopes to vnderstand, May take thy volume to his vertuous hand.

Who cannot reade, but onely doth desire To vnderstand, hee may at length admire.

B. I."

[CR] These were added to the sixth edition of the _Wife_, in 1615.

v. _Caracters upon Essaies, morall and diuine, written for those good spirits that will take them in good part, and make use of them to good purpose. London: Printed by Edw. Griffin for John Guillim, and are to be sold at his shop in Britaines Burse._ 1615. 12mo.

[Censura Literaria, v. 51. Monthly Mirror, xi. 16.]

vi. _The Good and the Badde, or Descriptions of the Worthies and Vnworthies of this Age. Where the Best may see their Graces, and the Worst discerne their Basenesse. London, Printed by George Purslowe for Iohn Budge, and are to be sold at the great South-dore of Paules, and at Brittaines Bursse._ 1616.

[4to. containing pp. 40, t.i.tle, dedication "to Sir Gilbert Houghton, Knight," and preface six more. A second edition appeared in 1643, under the t.i.tle of _England's Selected Characters_, &c.]

The author of these characters[CS] was Nicholas Breton, who dedicates them to Sir Gilbert Houghton, of Houghton, Knight. Of Breton no particulars are now known, excepting what may be gained from an epitaph in Norton church, Northamptonshire[CT], by which we learn that he was the son of Captain Breton, of Tamworth, in Staffordshire, and served himself in the Low Countries, under the command of the Earl of Leicester. He married Anne, daughter of Sir Edward Legh, or Leigh, of Rush.e.l.l, Staffordshire, by whom he had five sons and four daughters, and having purchased the manor of Norton, died there June 22, 1624[CU].

Breton appears to have been a poet of considerable reputation among his contemporaries, as he is noticed with commendation by Puttenhem and Meres: Sir Samuel Egerton Brydges declares that his poetical powers were distinguished by a simplicity, at once easy and elegant. Specimens of his productions in verse, may be found in Percy's _Reliques_, Ellis's _Specimens_, Cooper's _Muses' Library, Censura Literaria_; and an imperfect list of his publications is given by Ritson, in the _Bibliographia Poetica_, which is augmented by Mr. Park, in the _Cens.

Lit._ ix. 163[CV].

A WORTHIE PRIUIE COUNCELLER.

A worthy priuie counceller is the pillar of a realme, in whose wisedome and care, vnder G.o.d and the king, stands the safety of a kingdome; he is the watch-towre to giue warning of the enemy, and a hand of prouision for the preseruation of the state: hee is an oracle in the king's eare, and a sword in the king's hand, an euen weight in the ballance of justice, and a light of grace in the loue of truth: he is an eye of care in the course of lawe, a heart of loue in the seruice of his soueraigne, a mind of honour in the order of his seruice, and a braine of inuention for the good of the common-wealth; his place is powerful, while his seruice is faithfull, and his honour due in the desert of his employment. In summe, he is as a fixed planet mong the starres of the firmament, which through the clouds in the ayre, shewes the nature of his light.

AN VNWORTHIE COUNCELLER.

An vnworthie counceller is the hurt of a king, and the danger of a state, when the weaknes of judgement may commit an error, or the lacke of care may give way to vnhappinesse: he is a wicked charme in the king's eare, a sword of terror in the aduice of tyranny: his power is perillous in the partiality of will, and his heart full of hollownesse in the protestation of loue: hypocrisie is the couer of his counterfaite religion, and traiterous inu[=e]tion is the agent of his ambition: he is the cloud of darknesse, that threatneth foule weather, and if it growe to a storme, it is feareful where it falls: hee is an enemy to G.o.d in the hate of grace, and worthie of death in disloyalty to his soueraigne. In summe, he is an vnfit person for the place of a counceller, and an vnworthy subject to looke a king in the face.

AN EFFEMINATE FOOL.

An effeminate foole is the figure of a baby: he loues nothing but gay, to look in a gla.s.se, to keepe among wenches, and to play with trifles; to feed on sweet meats, and to be daunced in laps, to be inbraced in armes, and to be kissed on the cheeke: to talke idlely, to looke demurely, to goe nicely, and to laugh continually: to be his mistresse' servant, and her mayd's master, his father's love, and his mother's none-child: to play on a fiddle, and sing a loue-song, to weare sweet gloues, and look on fine things: to make purposes and write verses, deuise riddles, and tell lies: to follow plaies, and study daunces, to heare newes, and buy trifles: to sigh for loue, and weepe for kindnesse, and mourne for company, and bee sicke for fashion: to ride in a coach, and gallop a hackney, to watch all night, and sleepe out the morning: to lie on a bed, and take tobacco, and to send his page of an idle message to his mistresse; to go vpon gigges, to haue his ruffes set in print, to picke his teeth, and play with a puppet. In summe, hee is a man-childe, and a woman's man, a gaze of folly, and wisedome's griefe[CW].

"THE CHESSE PLAY."

Very aptly deuised by N. B. Gent.

[From "_The Phoenix Nest. Built vp with the most rare and refined workes of n.o.ble men, woorthy Knights, gallant Gentlemen, Masters of Arts, and braue Schollers," &c. "Set foorth by R. S. of the Inner Temple, Gentleman." 4to. London, by Iohn Iackson, 1593, page 28._]

A secret many yeeres vnseene, In play at chesse, who knowes the game, First of the King, and then the Queene, Knight, Bishop, Rooke, and so by name, Of euerie p.a.w.ne I will descrie, The nature with the qualitie.

THE KING.

The King himselfe is haughtie care, Which ouerlooketh all his men, And when he seeth how they fare He steps among them now and then, Whom, when his foe presumes to checke, His seruants stand, to giue the necke.

THE QUEENE.

The Queene is queint, and quicke conceit, Which makes hir walke which way she list, And rootes them vp, that lie in wait To worke hir treason, ere she wist: Hir force is such against hir foes That whom she meetes, she ouerthrowes.

THE KNIGHT.

The Knight is knowledge how to fight Against his prince's enimies, He neuer makes his walke outright, But leaps and skips, in wilie wise, To take by sleight a traitrous foe, Might slilie seeke their ouerthrowe.

THE BISHOP.

The Bishop he is wittie braine, That chooseth crossest pathes to pace, And euermore he pries with paine, To see who seekes him most disgrace: Such straglers when he findes astraie He takes them vp, and throwes awaie.

THE ROOKES.

The Rookes are reason on both sides, Which keepe the corner houses still, And warily stand to watch their tides, By secret art to worke their will, To take sometime a theefe vnseene, Might mischiefe meane to King or Queene.

THE p.a.w.nES.