Michael Jackson_ The Magic, the Madness, the Whole Story, 1958-2009 Part 36

'It looked awkward because I wanted out of my skin,' Lisa said, years later. 'I hated it. I felt used, like a prop,' she said. 'It was awful.'

'Afterward, they had a huge fight about it,' said Monica Pastelle. 'Her whole thing was, "I told you no, and you just disregarded it." But Michael thought it was great, a showstopper. He was all about the show, you know? What could they do that would cause headlines? That's where his head was at. "But people will be talking about that kiss for decades," he said. "Don't you see? They're gonna run that clip over and over." Lisa was p.i.s.sed off for days. "Don't you f.u.c.king even come near near me," she told him.' me," she told him.'

That same week, Michael became annoyed by newspaper reports that suggested that if Elvis Presley were alive, he would not approve of the marriage. 'I think we need to find out,' he said. He suggested that he and Lisa have a seance to contact the King. He was serious. He told Lisa he had friends who could communicate with the deceased, and that they could make it possible for him and Lisa to talk to Elvis and ask his opinion of the union. Lisa thought the idea was tasteless. When Michael continued to push it, she lashed out at him. 'I said no,' she told him, angrily, 'and if you stay on this particular road, they're gonna need a medium to contact you you in the great beyond, because I'm about to put you there, right now,' Michael never mentioned the idea, again. 'Jeez, it was just a suggestion,' he said, later. 'Can't a guy even have a suggestion?' in the great beyond, because I'm about to put you there, right now,' Michael never mentioned the idea, again. 'Jeez, it was just a suggestion,' he said, later. 'Can't a guy even have a suggestion?'

Nine months later, in June 1995, Michael and Lisa were interviewed on the American television programme Dateline Dateline by reporter Diane Sawyer. by reporter Diane Sawyer.

While it is true that Michael rarely grants television interviews (the last one had been in 1993 with Oprah Winfrey), one would have been hard-pressed to remember any time Lisa had ever been seen answering questions on television. Prior to this highly antic.i.p.ated broadcast, only frozen images of her came to mind photographs of a fragile blonde child with a droopy glare and sad, pouting expression reminiscent of her father's. It was easy to imagine her as a poor little rich girl, victimized by her privileged, heavily scrutinized circ.u.mstances. That wasn't really true of her as an adult, though. After years of therapy through Scientology, she had long ago come to terms with her celebrity. 'My best trait is that I don't put on a front for anybody,' she observed. 'I'm honest. Scientology has helped me a lot. It teaches you to stay what we call "clean", to understand your feelings and not hold things in. Yeah, I've had a difficult life, in some ways,' she allowed. 'But I've gotten through it, and have done all right for myself.'

On the night of the television interview, Lisa appeared to the world as a sophisticated, twenty-seven-year-old brunette, gorgeous and, it would seem, anyway, n.o.body's victim.

As the Jackson couple sat side by side, they fielded questions from Diane Sawyer about their private life. In talking about the allegations, Michael said, 'I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am and it's not what I'm even interested in.' Diane then asked, 'What do you think should be done to someone who does that?' Michael responded, 'To someone who does that? What do I think should be done? Gee, I think they need help in some kind of way, you know?'

He then explained why he decided to settle the Jordie Chandler case. 'I talked to my lawyers and I said, "Can you guarantee me that justice will prevail?"' Michael recalled, 'And they said, "Michael, we cannot guarantee you what a judge or a jury will do." With that, I was like catatonic. I was outraged, totally outraged. So I said, "I have got to do something to get out from under this nightmare, all these lies and all these people coming forward to get paid and these tabloid shows, just lies, lies, lies, lies." So we got together and my advisers advised me. It was hands down, a unanimous decision to resolve the case.'

Throughout his explanation, Diane had continually attempted to interrupt him to ask how much money he had spent on the settlement. Finally, a protective Lisa abruptly cut her off and said, 'He's been barred to discuss it.'

Diane asked, 'The specific terms of the agreement?'

Lisa confirmed, 'The specific terms, and and the specific amounts.' the specific amounts.'

It was going fairly well, until Diane Sawyer asked the loaded question to which no one ever has a good answer: 'What is a thirty-six-year-old man doing sleeping with a twelve-year-old boy, or a series of them?' Michael fumbled for a bit, giving his usual monologue about the innocence and purity of such behaviour, until Lisa, looking frustrated, decided to put the matter into perspective.

'Let me just say,' she began, 'that I've seen these children. They don't let him go to the bathroom bathroom without running in there with him. They won't let him out of their sight. So when he jumps in the bed, I'm even out [of the bed], you know? without running in there with him. They won't let him out of their sight. So when he jumps in the bed, I'm even out [of the bed], you know? They They jump in the bed with jump in the bed with him him.' Lisa mother of two was on the spot; her credibility was in question just by virtue of the fact that she was sitting there with her husband, on TV, trying to explain why it was okay for him to sleep with children who were not his own. She had to at least give it her best shot.

Unrelenting, Diane followed up, 'But isn't part of being an adult and loving children keeping them from ambiguous situations? And again, we're talking about over an intense period of time here. Would you let your son, when he grows up and is twelve years old, do that?'

Lisa gamely jumped in for more of the impossible. 'You know what? If I didn't know Michael, no way,' she said. 'But I happen to know who he is and what he is and that makes it, you know...' Her voice trailed off. 'I know that he's not... you know? I know that he's not like that and I know he has a thing for children...' Her voice trailed off, again. 'Sorry...' she finally said, at a loss.

'I just wonder, is it over?' Diane asked, turning to Michael. 'Are you going to make sure it doesn't happen again? I think this is really the key thing people want to know.'

'Is what over?' Michael asked.

'Are there not going to be more of these sleepovers in which people have to wonder?'

'n.o.body wonders when kids sleep over at my house,' he said. 'n.o.body wonders.'

'But are they over?' Diane pushed. 'Are you going to watch out for it?' Diane pushed. 'Are you going to watch out for it?'

'No,' he answered. Then, acting as if he didn't know what she was talking about or, maybe he really didn't he did a double-take and asked, 'Watch out for what?'

'Just for the sake of the children and because of everything you've been through?'

'No, because it's all moral and it's all pure,' Michael said, stubbornly. 'I don't even think that way. It's not what's in my heart.'

'So you'll do it again?' she asked.

'Do what again?'

'Have a child sleeping over?' Diane clarified, now looking annoyed.

'Of course,' he answered. 'If they want. It's on the level of purity and love and just innocence, complete innocence,' he concluded. 'If you're talking about s.e.x, then that's a nut. It's not me. Go to the guy down the street, 'cause it's not Michael Jackson. It's not what I'm interested in.' (A consequence of this interview was that Evan Chandler sued him again! claiming that he had breached the terms of the settlement with Jordie. Michael's lawyers eventually got the suit dismissed.) It was a shame that Michael couldn't have conceded to Diane Sawyer that he may have used poor judgement in the past. She was on his side, trying to work with him, and pushing for him to do the mature thing or at least the responsible thing and say that he would exercise more caution in the future where youngsters were concerned. There were many ways he could have approached the matter, but being obstinate and haughty was not the best way. 'I had off-the-record information that there were some ambiguities about the case in Jackson's favour,' Diane Sawyer later explained. 'Still, I have heard people say, after seeing him during that interview, that a parent would be crazy to let their child be alone with him,'

Later, in the interview, when asked whether her marriage to Michael was a sham, Lisa said of such rumours, 'You know it's c.r.a.p. I'm sorry. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm not going to marry somebody for any reason other than the fact that I fall in love with them, period. And they [the public] can eat eat it if they want to think anything different.' it if they want to think anything different.'

Lisa hoped the couple would be perceived as serious, not silly, during the televised interview. However, Michael's mugging and clowning as if he was testing to see how many faces he could get away with before his strict mother would send him to his room undermined her efforts. She was exasperated, especially when he put his two fingers behind her head as if making devil-horns. However, the interview was emblematic of their relationship: she was the adult, he was the child.

'What a f.u.c.king disaster,' Lisa said the day after the interview. She was mortified, and angry. 'I am so p.i.s.sed off at that Diane Sawyer, the way she pushed and pushed and pushed about our s.e.x life. Jesus, that was terrible. Oh my G.o.d. I can't believe it,' she said, shaking her head miserably. 'I can't even f.u.c.king believe that was on TV.'

'I don't know, I thought it was pretty cool,' Michael said, thoughtfully. 'I mean, we made some good points about the allegations. We made a good-looking couple, too. People loved it, Lisa.' He reached over and put his arm around her, lovingly. 'Don't worry,' he said, 'it was all right.' Lisa rolled her eyes.

What originally brought Lisa and Michael together was the drama of molestation allegations and subsequent drug abuse. Her desire to work out a crisis for him was a powerful, motivating force in their relationship. However, once the drama was over, they had little more to fall back on but their surprising physical relationship. 'It was right after the Diane Sawyer show that things started going bad,' says Monica Pastelle. 'Lisa started to wonder if she'd made a mistake in choosing him as a life partner. The great s.e.x continued, though. It was the thing that made it difficult for her to see straight where he was concerned. Whatever was going on in the privacy of their bedroom was enough to keep her hooked into the relationship. However, things were getting strained. When they weren't in bed making love, they were fighting.'

One adviser recalled, 'I was in the studio with him as he cut some new music when Lisa walked in. She slumped down next to Michael, looking miserable. They didn't say one word to each other. He just played with his k.n.o.bs and dials, ignoring her. Then, after about five minutes of silence, Lisa gave him a long look. She got up. On her way out the door she said, "Nice talkin' to you, as always." He ignored her. I said, "Yo! Mike! What's up? Is everything okay with you two?" He said, "Sure. We're doing just great. I don't know why she's so p.i.s.sed off at me." Then, as if hit by a sudden thought, he said, "Wait! Do you think she's on her... you know... her... you know... her," and he lowered his voice dramatically, "herperiod?"'

Lisa Marie Wants to Know Why Michael is 'So Selfish'

In October 1994, about six months after Michael and Lisa were married, the two of them and some friends were invited to dine with Elizabeth Taylor at her Bel Air home. Sixty-two-year-old Elizabeth took twenty-six-year-old Lisa aside to offer some hints as to how she might keep her husband happy. 'Always look your best,' she told Lisa. 'He's into glamour, and you must be into it, too. And if you don't like the jewellery he gives you, fake it; act like you do. And keep separate bedrooms to keep him guessing. Also,' she said, 'find the right colours and wear the h.e.l.l out of them.'

Later, when Elizabeth was out of ear shot, Lisa asked Michael, 'What era is she she living in? No wonder she's been divorced seven times!' living in? No wonder she's been divorced seven times!'

'Now, Lisa,' Michael said, with a wag of his finger. 'Be nice.'

Lisa also found it amusing that Michael was, as she put it to one intimate, 'an absolute cosmetics freak'. He would spend hours in the bathroom, she said, putting on and taking off different kinds of makeups. In fact, she never saw him without his makeup. If they slept together, in the morning Michael would be gone before she awakened in the bathroom, applying his morning makeup. She'd look at his pillow and find it smeared with makeup. 'It didn't bother her,' said one friend. 'She thought of it as being sort of rock and roll, freaky, you know? "Lots of rock stars wear makeup," she said. "Whatever. I don't care, as long as he's happy. What do I care?" Lisa would try to surprise him, though, by waking up before him and then tapping him on the shoulder. The sun would be up, and there he would be, with smudged makeup in the light of day. "No, Lisa," he would shriek, "don't look. Please, don't look!" Then, he would jump out of bed and scamper into the bathroom. Lisa would crack up.'

However, light moments like that one between Michael and Lisa had become rare. A major problem for them in their marriage was that Michael insisted that he still be free to go on vacations with young male friends, even though he was now a married man. Lisa did not believe her husband was a paedophile; she made that much clear. 'I wouldn't have let him near my kids if I ever thought that,' she later said. 'Never once did I see him do anything inappropriate, ever.' However, she was dismayed that he would still want to be seen in the company of youngsters, considering all that they had been through with the Jordie Chandler matter. She felt that any public display with youngsters, and especially with boys, would only serve to spark more rumour and innuendo about him and, by extension, her. While many in her husband's 'world of wonder', as she called his insulated environment, put up with Michael's poor judgement, she wasn't going to be one of them. However, Michael was not going to compromise; he had no experience with the notion. When the two fought about the ongoing presence of youngsters in his life, he laid down the law: he was going to do what he wanted to do and, if Lisa loved him, she would have to accept his choices.

'Lisa didn't understand how Michael could disregard her feelings,' said James Cruse, who knew her well at the time. 'It was embarra.s.sing for her to constantly defend his actions, always explaining that he was not a paedophile, he was misunderstood, he was a child at heart and, blah, blah, blah... the same stuff you always hear about the guy. He didn't seem to care that it was hard on her. He just wanted to live his life the way he had always lived it. 'What I do is none of your business,' he told her. That really set her off. 'How can you say that? Of course it's my business,' she told him. 'You're my husband. You 're You 're my business." my business."

'Why are you so selfish?' Lisa hollered at Michael one evening in front of staff members at Neverland. They had just finished dinner and settled themselves in front of the fireplace, the blazing logs casting a warm glow over them. As they all talked, Michael slipped into the conversation that he was considering a vacation to France with the Cascio brothers from New Jersey, Eddie II and Frank. Lisa was stunned.

'How did you get to be this way?' she demanded, her eyes hard and condemning. 'Do you care how that makes me look, you going on vacation with two kids? Don't you care about me, at all?'

'Me? Selfish?' Michael asked, seeming dismayed. 'But look at the money I give to charities. Why, Lisa! I love all the little children of the world.'

According to witnesses, Lisa stared at him, her mouth agape. 'What does that have to do with anything?' she countered. She was furious and getting more so by the second. 'I'm talking about you and me, Michael. Not, all the little children of the world all the little children of the world. In fact,' she concluded, 'you are the most selfish person I have ever known.'

Michael grimaced, as if struck in the stomach. Quick tears sprung to his eyes. No one had ever talked to him like that before, not since Joseph, anyway.

'Oh, what's the use?' Lisa asked, ignoring his hurt. 'You don't get it, do you? The little children of the world,' she repeated, angrily. 'I can't even believe you would say that to me.'

'I got into this whole "I'm going to save you" thing,' Lisa admitted in 2003. 'I got some romantic idea in my head I could save him and we could save the world. I thought all that stuff he was doing, philanthropy and the children thing and all of that, was awesome. OK. h.e.l.lo h.e.l.lo. I was delusionary.'

Later, when Michael recounted the incident to another a.s.sociate, he said of his wife, 'Man, she's so mean to me. I'm like, why are you being such a b.i.t.c.h to me? What'd I ever do to you?'

'It's too soon after your rehab, Mike,' said the adviser. 'This kind of conflict isn't good for you. You should be working on staying drug-free.'

'Eddie and Frank and I have been friends for years,' Michael said, not seeming to hear his friend's remarks. He shook his head in disbelief. 'We've been all over the world together. It's all innocent. Now, Lisa hates me because of it.' He stopped, as if hit by a bolt of lightning. 'Oh my G.o.d, she hates me. It's Katherine and Joseph all over again, isn't it?'

'Look, forget about those Cascio kids,' offered the adviser. 'Come on, Mike. You can see them, any time. Why mess things up any more with your wife?'

'Because I'm a grown man,' Michael said as he rose to leave the room. 'And I don't need anyone's permission to go on a vacation with my good friends. That's why.'

Michael did have his vacation in Paris with Eddie and Frank Cascio, in July 1995... and without Lisa.

Michael Goes on the Record.

In September 1995 rumours surfaced that Michael and Lisa Marie were ending their marriage, causing an international firestorm of headlines. I managed to get Michael on the telephone for an interview for the Australian magazine, Woman's Day Woman's Day, to check it out. 'Let me just say this,' he told me, impatiently: 'No. No. No. No No. These stories are d.a.m.n lies made up by people who hope they'll get lucky with one of them and hit it big.'

I asked if he wanted to further respond to reports that Lisa did not know about his vacation to Paris with the Cascio brothers. 'Like I wouldn't have told her?' Michael asked. He sounded tense, stressed out. 'Like she wouldn't read about it anyway, or see us photographed by every newspaper photographer in the world? Neither one of us could have a secret from the other, even if we wanted to,' he said. 'We're so happy,' he added of his marriage. 'We do it our way. I don't know if it's conventional. My parents have been married for forty years. Is their marriage conventional? Were Lisa's parents in a conventional marriage? I don't think so. I love being married, knowing that Lisa is there,' he continued.' She's strong. She's smart. She's on my side, listens to me, understands me, understands my world.'

The child molestation allegations came up, once again. There had been a report that the twenty-five-million-dollar settlement would be paid to Jordie Chandler in instalments of $466,000 a year over forty years. It wasn't accurate. However, the report further indicated that Michael spends more than that amount on toys. 'That's not true, either,' he confirmed. 'I probably don't spend more than,' he paused, as if calculating the figure in his head, 'about a hundred and fifty thousand a year on toys.'

Also at this time, Santa Barbara District Attorney, Tom Sneddon, was quoted in a Vanity Fair Vanity Fair article as saying that the criminal investigation against Michael was not over. 'It is in suspension,' he said, 'even if the civil case has been settled with cash.' article as saying that the criminal investigation against Michael was not over. 'It is in suspension,' he said, 'even if the civil case has been settled with cash.'

'What the heck does that mean?' Michael asked, heatedly. 'Either there is an investigation, or there isn't one. It's over. Let it rest.'

During the course of our conversation, the subject of the photo session with the police came up. 'Those photos did not match [Jordie's description],' he told me. 'How many times do I have to say this to you? They did not match They did not match. Now, I'm hanging up,' he told me, 'because you crossed the line with that question.'

'Wait,' I said. 'One more thing: do you know that a writer says he found a videotape of you with some kid. Do you want to respond to that, Michael?'

'It's not true,' he said, sounding dismayed. 'Even if I were the most deviant person in the world, why would I keep a tape like that?'

In fact, Michael Jackson sued Victor Guitterez (author of a book about Jordie and Michael for private publication, called Michael Jackson Was My Lover) Michael Jackson Was My Lover) for claiming that such a videotape existed, and challenged him to produce it. Apparently, no such tape existed. Victor lost the suit and ended up owing Michael almost three million dollars. He declared bankruptcy, moved to Chile, and hasn't been heard from since. for claiming that such a videotape existed, and challenged him to produce it. Apparently, no such tape existed. Victor lost the suit and ended up owing Michael almost three million dollars. He declared bankruptcy, moved to Chile, and hasn't been heard from since.

'People will believe anything about me. I don't care any more. Is that what you want to hear? Then, fine,' he concluded, lashing out at me. 'In fact, why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and that I do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter,' he concluded, spitting our the word reporter reporter. 'But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, "I'm an alien from Mars and eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance every night at midnight," people would say, "Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a d.a.m.n word that comes out of his mouth."'

Finally Michael said in a weary voice, 'People don't know what it's like for me. No one knows, really. No one should judge what I've done with my life,' he concluded, 'not unless they've been in my shoes every horrible day and every sleepless night.'

Enter: Debbie Rowe.

Michael first met Debbie Rowe in the early 1980s when he went to his dermatologist to complain of a skin condition. Panicked because of the emergence of mysterious blotches, he was certain he had a deadly skin cancer. Ace Johnson, who worked as an a.s.sistant for Joseph Jackson at the time, recalls, 'That was when Mike was told he had Vitiligo. "Oh no," he said, "I am am a freak." I distinctly remember him telling me that there was a white girl named Debbie in the doctor's office, a nurse and receptionist, who was helping him through the ordeal, always there for him.' a freak." I distinctly remember him telling me that there was a white girl named Debbie in the doctor's office, a nurse and receptionist, who was helping him through the ordeal, always there for him.'

Dr Arnold Klein suggested to Michael that if he needed someone to talk to about his medical condition, he should call Debbie any time, day or night. For a short while, Michael did telephone her daily to ask her medical questions, and cry on her shoulder. They were soon good friends. 'At the time, his brothers thought maybe this would be the beginning of a romance for Michael, since all he talked about was Debbie,' recalled Ace. 'Jermaine said, "I want to meet this Debbie chick. Mike's got it bad for her." Michael giggled and laughed, like a kid with a crush.'

Whenever Michael came to the office for treatment, Debbie would fuss over him. In reciprocation, whenever Michael released a new CD he would send her an autographed copy. Debbie would hang his CD picture jackets on the walls of her office until, one day, Arnold Klein asked her to remove them, saying that such a display of affection for a patient could be misconstrued.

Tanya Boyd, who was a good friend of Debbie's, remembered, 'She would obsess about Michael saying, "I'm going to talk to him about opening up more, he's too inhibited." She cared about him, would be up all night long on the phone with him. She said he was best on the telephone. "All of his defences break down when he doesn't have to look at you, face to face," she said. She felt that he was sweet and misunderstood and also a rebel.' Echoing Lisa Marie's sentiment about him, Debbie told Tanya. 'If people knew him like I know him, they would not think he was so strange. He's unique, kinky, actually. I like that in a guy.'

'Some thought they'd end up together. When I asked Debbie if she was romantically interested in Michael, she became evasive. She ended up marrying someone else for a few years divorced him [in 1990] because she said she felt trapped but I believed she was interested in Michael.'

Over the years, Debbie and Michael continued their friendship, often confiding in one another about their unhappy marriages.

By 1995, Deborah Jean Rowe was thirty-six, about ten years older that Lisa Marie Presley. Born in 1958 in Spokane, Washington, to Gordon Rowe and Barbara Chilcutt, she had been relocated to Los Angeles by the time she was fifteen. At that time, her parents divorced, and her father left the United States for the Middle East. She graduated from Hollywood High School in 1977, and began working as an a.s.sistant to Arnold Klein. In 1982, she married Richard Edelman, then a thirty-year-old teacher at Hollywood High. They moved to a small apartment Van Nuys, California, where Edelman started a computer consulting business. Their marriage began to crumble in 1988; a year later they filed for bankruptcy with a.s.sets of forty thousand dollars and debt worth twice that much.

Debbie was truly an unusual character. When she was just a bit younger, she was a biker chick who enjoyed dressing up in black leather and roaring around Los Angeles at breakneck speeds. Mario Pikus, a friend of hers at the time and a fellow biker, recalled, 'She had so many crashes that her powerful 2000cc machine was covered in dents. And she swore like a sailor. Everything she said was peppered with four-letter words. She was like one of the guys. She used to drink beer and tequila, and she had this habit of punching you in what was supposed to be a friendly gesture. After she had a few drinks, her friendly jabs could knock the wind out of you.

'She never had any money, she was always broke. But one day, after a road trip, she said she had to stop by her parents' place. I was stunned. It's near Bruce Willis's home in Malibu, and it makes his house look like a shack. It's got to be worth four million dollars.' Inside the home, Pikus (who is a professional artist) estimated that there might have been ten million dollars in paintings and sculptures. Debbie explained that her step-father was a real estate magnate. 'They seemed to have a warm relationship, but it was clear that Debbie didn't take any money from him. Her apartment, which cost her about seven hundred dollars a month, was a dark little place, kind of cheap and depressing. But it was a shrine to Michael Jackson. Every inch of wall s.p.a.ce was taken up by posters and photographs of him. Lots of them were signed, 'To Debbie Love, Michael.'

It's fascinating that Michael was able to have someone in his life like Debbie, a person about whom the public was completely unaware. It had been presumed by his fans mosdy because of the way Michael complained about his lack of privacy that if ever a woman became a part of his life in any meaningful way, the world would know about it, instantly. It would make headlines. However, somehow, Debbie was kept a secret from Michael's fans and the press for more than a decade.

'When he went into the rehab for the drug problem, Debbie was relieved,' says Tanya Boyd. 'She'd been so worried about him, never out of touch with him during any of the Jordie Chandler business. He may have been talking to Lisa on the telephone a lot, but he was also speaking to Debbie though I suspect Lisa did not know about that. When he got out of the hospital [Charter], he started dating Lisa, but he never stopped seeing Debbie, either, even after he married Lisa.'

Lisa's friend, Monica Pastelle, recalled, 'Lisa once told me that she heard Michael was interested in a white nurse who worked for his dermatologist. She laughed it off. She thought he was probably trying to make her jealous, playing games. Still, she was interested enough to go to the doctor's office and sneak a look at this generously proportioned blonde, blue-eyed nurse named Debbie. After she saw her, she said, "I'm not sure Michael would ever be interested in her. She's not his type. He likes glamour. However, I think she's she's into into him him. I think they're, I don't know, dating dating, or something. It's crazy."'

It turned out to be true. While he was with Lisa, Michael was was seeing Debbie secretly, if only as a friend. When Lisa found out about it, she thought it odd that he would keep it from her. However, she suspected that he had many secrets and this one was probably the least noteworthy of them. She did some research and realized that Debbie was, as she put it in 2003, 'a nurse who had a crush on him.' seeing Debbie secretly, if only as a friend. When Lisa found out about it, she thought it odd that he would keep it from her. However, she suspected that he had many secrets and this one was probably the least noteworthy of them. She did some research and realized that Debbie was, as she put it in 2003, 'a nurse who had a crush on him.'

Lisa called her 'Nursey', she didn't seem concerned about her. One friend recalled, 'One afternoon, in pa.s.sing, she said, "So, Nursey called about ten times today looking for Michael. I finally had to tell her, please please, he will call you back, okay? okay? Jesus Christ!" I said, "Lisa, what is that about?" She said, "Oh, I don't know. She's got it bad for him, I guess. I have no idea what her thing is. I have enough trouble trying to figure out Michael. I'm not about to start trying to figure out his friends, too." That was her feeling about Debbie Rowe. She didn't think of her as a threat.' Jesus Christ!" I said, "Lisa, what is that about?" She said, "Oh, I don't know. She's got it bad for him, I guess. I have no idea what her thing is. I have enough trouble trying to figure out Michael. I'm not about to start trying to figure out his friends, too." That was her feeling about Debbie Rowe. She didn't think of her as a threat.'

Lisa Marie Confronts Michael in Hospital.

When in September 1995 Michael and Lisa appeared together at the MTV Awards, she sat at his side looking p.i.s.sed off and miserable. She was tired of arguing, tired of trying to save him from himself. She had recently called Katherine Jackson to ask what she thought she should do about Michael's insistence that he continue to have young boys in his life. 'I want to save this marriage, but I also want to save Michael,' she said, according to what Katherine later recalled to a friend. 'He's just looking for trouble. What can I do? This whole thing is freaking me out.'

'I don't know what you can do, but I know what you can't do: you can't try to tell him what to do,' Katherine advised her daughter-in-law. She told her what many people already knew: 'Michael does what he wants to do.' She also suggested that Lisa call Johnnie Cochran, saying that the attorney might be the one to address the issue with Michael. Lisa called Johnnie. 'My G.o.d! It's all so innocent, this business with kids,' Johnnie told her. He suggested that if she wanted to save her marriage she would 'have to let Michael be who Michael is.'

'You think she could have hid it for just one night in front of the cameras,' Michael later complained to his mother about Lisa's glum appearance on the MTV Awards. 'But, no, not her. She puts her feelings right out there, doesn't she? She's so open.'

'But that's what you liked about her,' Katherine reminded him.

'Yeah, but now it's working against me,' Michael observed.

Despite the fact that their marriage seemed in trouble, Michael was still pushing for Lisa to become pregnant. Whenever he brought up the subject of having children, though, Lisa acted as if it wasn't a serious issue for them. 'I mean it,' he told her, according to a later recollection. 'I'm very serious. I want us to have children. I don't think you're hearing me,' he said.

However, Lisa had heard him loud and clear. She had two children with Danny Keough. She knew how much she loved them, could never live a single day without them. Projecting ahead, she wondered what would happen to the child they would have if the marriage ended. 'When I imagined having a child with him,' she confirmed in 2003, 'all I could ever see was a custody battle nightmare.' Also, after getting to know him better and watching his day-to-day interactions with people, she became convinced that he was too emotionally immature to raise a child. 'I think he he needs a parent,' she told one confidante, 'and maybe shouldn't be one himself, yet.' However, she wouldn't tell him all of that, at the time. Instead, she just hoped he would give up on the idea, at least for the time being. needs a parent,' she told one confidante, 'and maybe shouldn't be one himself, yet.' However, she wouldn't tell him all of that, at the time. Instead, she just hoped he would give up on the idea, at least for the time being.

Also, by this time, the heated physical intimacy Lisa had enjoyed with Michael had cooled. It could have only lasted so long, without real communication between them. She decided to use their waning physical intimacy as an excuse. 'I think we have to have s.e.x in order for me to get pregnant,' she told him, according to what she later recalled. 'And you know what? I ain't doin' it."

Michael wasn't convinced that he and Lisa had to engage in s.e.xual activity in order to have a family of their own. He wanted children; that was his chief goal and he had made it clear. The question, then, became how to achieve it. Finally, one day over breakfast he told her, 'Look, my friend Debbie said she will get pregnant and have my baby. If you won't do it, then she she will. How about that?' will. How about that?'

Lisa didn't know how to take Michael's statement. Was it a challenge? A threat? Or just a fact? It certainly wasn't the kind of news most wives would welcome hearing from their husbands: if you don't have my baby, my nurse will. She was amazed by the seriousness of his tone. Who would then raise this child? She and Michael? Debbie? Or, just Michael, alone? Life with Michael Jackson was getting a little weird for her, as if it hadn't been weird enough up until that time. She met his direct gaze calmly. 'No kidding?' she remarked. 'Well, cool, then. That's fine with me,' she said in a controlled tone. 'Tell her to go ahead and do it.'

The weeks slipped into months. By the winter of 1995, Lisa and Michael weren't even speaking, and not because Lisa didn't want to communicate with him, but because she simply could not find him. She didn't know his whereabouts, only that he was not at Neverland and no one in his camp would give her any information. After spending about a week trying to find him, there was a floral delivery from him at her home in Hidden Hills: dozens of red roses with a card that read, 'Love, Michael.' Under the circ.u.mstances, the gesture made no sense. Exasperated, she threw the flowers into the trash.