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"Did I hurt you?" She sounded bewildered.
How was he supposed to answer that? He hurt because of her, but she hadn't done anything harmful tohim. "No.""Then what's the matter?""Nothing you need to worry about." He breathed in deeply, willing his body to calm, forcing his mind not to dwell on the memory of what it felt like to have her under him.Finally able to stand straight without feeling like he'd rip the seam on his fly, he turned back to face her.Her eyes scanned him and stopped at the hard-on that had not completely gone away. "Does that happen every time you fight with a woman?"Offended, he glared at her. "Of course not. I'd be a d.a.m.n poor soldier if it did.""But...""I told you. You set me off. Not all women. Just you.""Set you off?"Did she have to sound so clueless about s.e.x? That in itself was another turn-on, and the way she was looking at him wasn't helping.
"My d.i.c.k is only going to grow if you keep watching it like that." And then he was either going to goback to being bent over double, or he was going to bend over her."I'm not...I can't...You're wearing pants!"He rolled his eyes. "And you don't know the log in my jeans isn't wadded-up cotton, right?"She looked askance at him. "It's not, is it?""For crying out loud." He'd had enough. If he didn't get out of there, he was going to do something they would both regret.
Josie watched Daniel slam out the front door, her heart somewhere around her toes. What had just happened?
One minute, she'd been ready to kill him with her bare hands, and the next, he was telling her she'd turned him on. And then he'd gone. She eyed the closed door with a conflagration of emotions she couldn't begin to decipher, but chief among them was a certainty she wasn't ready for Daniel Black Eagle to walk out of her life.
Impulsively, she rushed after him. Swinging the door open, she saw him standing beside his big black SUV. He was leaning against it with one hand, his back to her.
"Are you leaving?"
"Yes." He didn't bother to face her.
"For good?" It's what she'd said she wanted, so why did she feel so rejected?
He spun around then, his stance dangerous. "I said I'd help you find the people who tried to kill your dad, and I will. I can control my s.e.x drive enough to work with you. I'm not a needy adolescent, d.a.m.n it. "
"I didn't say you were." This conversation was getting bizarre, but then everything had been a little crazysince she went storming out of her bedroom to tell him what she thought of him for calling her a succubus."I'm going for a walk.""Oh. The park is peaceful. There are ducks...in the pond on the other side.""I'll be sure and look for them.""Okay."
He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and fore-finger. "Do you want to go with me?"More than anything, but considering how he felt about her, she shouldn't inflict her company on him. "That's okay. I've got some stuff to do around here."
"Is it anything that can't wait?""No.""Then come with me.""Are you sure..."He put his hand out. "Come on, Josette. I think we could both use the exercise to clear our heads, and I want to talk to you about what I read in your dad's journals."
"I...um..." She waved her hand down her body, indicating the pajamas she still wore. "I've got to getsome clothes on."He nodded, his expression unfathomable now. "I'll wait."Daniel called himself names much worse than cretin as he waited for Josie to join him. Idiot and dumba.s.s came to mind. What had he been thinking? His body needed a break from her temptation before his d.i.c.k exploded from unrequited l.u.s.t.
So, why had he invited her to join him? Was his brain even connected to his mouth?
The problem was that when he was around Josie, logic was not the overriding factor in his decision making.
It would have been logical to leave her behind, but he'd gone soft in the head when he looked at her. She'd appeared so forlorn standing there in the doorway, her bow lips turned down in a frown. How did awoman who was easily as tough as any soldier he knew contrive to look that way?
Especially after she'd made it clear she didn't want his company. But she'd looked as if his leaving
somehow hurt her, and he'd been unable to leave it at that.Idiot was right. She was the best-trained soldier he'd ever known. She didn't need him to take her for awalk to make her feel better. She didn't need him at all, but he couldn't seem to keep that straight in hismind.
When he was with Josie, he forgot she was a soldier. All he could see was the woman, a vulnerable woman he wanted to protect. Which had been the problem from the beginning.
The trip across country together should have been another routine, straightforward mission for him, but it hadn't been. He'd spent most of the time in the car in a state of painful arousal, fighting to keep his focus on the job of looking for a tail instead of sneaking sidelong glances at the female mercenary. The nights together in small hotel rooms with one bed in case Nemesis checked on their registry had been torture plain and simple.
He'd taken a lot of cold showers and still woken up more mornings than not wet and sticky in his BVDs ...and p.i.s.sed. At himself and at the woman who seemed oblivious to what the sight of her pajama-clad body did to him.
He'd had wet dreams about her, for crying out loud. He hadn't dreamt like that since his voice had completed the change from tenor to baritone.
At first, he'd thought Josie wanted him, too, and as much as he had always believed s.e.x on the job was irredeemably stupid, he'd been desperate enough to make a pa.s.s. And been shot down, the flames singeing his temper as well as his libido.
He should have got a clue from her behavior and not even tried.
She jumped ten feet whenever he got within touching distance and avoided eye contact. When he'd kissed her, he thought she was responding with the same helpless pa.s.sion he felt-until she pulled away and acted as if she thought it had all been part of the cover of pretending to be Wolf and Lise.
He'd finally gotten the message. She wasn't interested, but his body hadn't stopped wanting her. h.e.l.l, he even craved her company. Like now. Taking Josie with him on the walk was no hardship except to his aching s.e.x.
He'd never craved the company of a woman outside of bed before, but he'd been disappointed to learn Josie was severing her ties with the mercenary school. Because he'd been looking forward to seeing her.
Dumba.s.s was right.
Josie hesitated in the doorway, trying to get her heart and breathing under control. It was always like this when she got around Nitro, and the thought of him staying in her house during the mission scared the heck out of her.
One night her desire for him was going to break its leash, and she was going to end up trying to seduce him.
Which would be both hilarious and humiliating because she was worse than a virgin. She was a virgin who'd never even made it to second base with a date.
She took a deep breath and stepped outside, closing the door behind her.
Nitro had moved to the sidewalk and stood there waiting for her as if he had all the time in the world. He never looked out of place, and sometimes she envied his sense of unshakable confidence.
She wondered why he'd invited her to come along on his walk. She'd been sure he wanted to get away from her.
She moved to stand beside him. "I'm ready."
He nodded without looking down at her and started across the street. No holding his hand out to her this
time. What would it be like to hold Nitro's hand? To walk with him and know she belonged by his side.
Her mind boggled.
They crossed the street and stepped onto one of the paths surrounding the park, walking in
companionable silence for once. She liked it and hesitated to so much as breathe funny to break the
unusual rapport.
Nitro had no such reticence. "I read the last year of your dad's journal and skimmed some earlier entries.
"Already?" She'd been asleep only a few hours.
"He's a pretty sporadic writer, so it didn't take too long."
"Did you find anything?"
"No."
Disappointment weighted her insides. "Then why did he tell us to read them? You must have missed
something."
"It's possible. He did tell you to read his journal, not me. Maybe there's something you'll recognize in his
entries that I didn't."
That made sense. "There has to be."
"Maybe."
She frowned up at Nitro. "But he told me to read them."
His expression would have done one of his chieftain ancestors proud. "Maybe he wanted you to get
something else out of them.""Like what?""An explanation for the way he raised you."Tension seeped into her until the muscles between her shoulder blades ached. "What do you mean?""You can't think it's standard parenting for a father to start training his little girl in combat before she's old enough to read.""I started reading when I was five.""And you were six when you handled your first automatic weapon.""It was just Dad's way. He never let me be at risk.""I know that, but it wasn't normal, Josette."She didn't know why he insisted on calling her by her full name, but it felt intimate and increased the sense of connection she felt with him. Though she was sure that was not his intention.
"He was a good father to me, and he's not crazy.""No, he isn't, but he is on the paranoid side.""Don't criticize my dad. He has his ways just like anybody else. I thought you wanted to be his partner.""I do, because I respect him, but no one is perfect, sweetheart."Sweetheart? She flushed to the roots of her hair. "I didn't say he was.""But he's not crazy either. Read the journals.""I'd planned to.""I mean the early ones.""If they don't have a clue to finding the would-be killers, that would be invading his privacy." Something her father had a major issue with.
"He told you to read them, Josette, and I personally believe it had nothing to do with the compoundgetting blown to bits.""That doesn't make any sense. Our personal relationship could be sorted out anytime.""You've got to remember, your dad's memories and thoughts were confused. The most important issue in his life was bound to take precedence."
And Nitro was implying that issue was her. She chewed on her bottom lip in silence until they reached a
fork in the path.
"Go to the left. The duck pond is this way."
He followed without comment.
"How much of my dad's journals did you read?"
"Enough."
Did Nitro think she was a real weirdo now? Very few people knew of her unique upbringing, but she'd
always known it made her different. She was trying to change that, but maybe she never could.She sighed, looking out over the pond now directly in her line of vision, so she didn't have to look at him."Josette, we need to talk.""I thought we already were.""I mean about us.""Us?" she asked faintly."What happened in the hall can't happen again.""I can't promise that." He was a pretty irritating guy at times and got to her like n.o.body else.She wasn't sure she could always control her temper around him. It was strange, because before meeting Nitro, she'd never really thought she had a temper.