Megami Buchigire Chapter 19 - Onee and Ouhi (rotten)

Chapter 19: Onee and Ouhi (rotten)

Galdeia Kingdom and Meldeia Kingdom.

Originally one single country, these two kingdoms have a long history that is mainly friendly yet sprinkled with hostilities here and there. In short, it’s complicated.

Now the powers in this continent have generally settled down and there is lasting peace, but due to not knowing when and where sparks of war might flare up again, both sides periodically send delegations to each other to strengthen their relationship.

And this time, it is Meldeia’s turn to send a delegation to Galdeia. Among their numbers is Prince Heinz and his trusted retainer, Onee.

“Fuu, I just can’t seem to get used to horses.”

So murmurs Onee as he gets off his horse and stretches when the delegation takes a break on the road towards Galdeia.

He did say that he’s not used to them, but please don’t ask why he knows how to ride them in the first place.

There is nothing impossible for the pointlessly high specced Onee.

Incidentally, horses in this world are treated like motorless vehicles in j.a.pan. In other words, they can be ridden on public roads even without a license.

But if you ride it after drinking—even though the horse is not drunk—it would still count as drunk driving, so my dear readers please be mindful while riding a horse.

“Are you alright, Yuki? You are the person of interest in this time’s delegation, so don’t fall over before we arrive.”

“Even if you tell me that……”

Grace’s teasing words are met by a shoulder shrug from Onee.

He is currently wearing ceremonial knight armor specially ordered for him, so instead of the usual almost-bursting impression he is now exuding the aura of a n.o.ble knight.

The formal sword on his hip is 100% just for decoration. The people who need to know are already in the know, so there’s no problem.

“In the first place, why is a new member like me serving as the subst.i.tute for the Grand Commander? The Grand Commander herself is alive and well so what’s the point of sending a subst.i.tute?”

“…… Yuki. Can you imagine the Grand Commander silently sitting through formal events?”

“…… That was my bad.”

For some reason, even though Onee was not in the wrong, he ended up apologizing.

With how similar the Grand Commander is to his late wife, he can easily predict her behavioral pattern. Even if she tries her best to sit still, she would for sure end up squirming around like a child.

“But still, is the Grand Commander really that similar to your late wife?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. They both can’t sit still, and even their word choice is strikingly similar. I understand how you and the Grand Commander came to become that way due to your professions, but why did Makoto end up like that?”

“……”

Seeing Onee sigh, Grace very nearly blurts out “looks who’s speaking” but manages to swallow the words back just in time.

Incidentally, having a distinction between male speech and female speech is a characteristic of j.a.panese alone. Including English, other foreign languages don’t really have this significant difference between the two genders.

(T/N: At the very least Thai actually does. And no the author is not talking about languages where words themselves have a gender.)

Furthermore, there is also the thing how there are multiple p.r.o.nouns to refer to oneself. Adding to that the fact that new words keep being made and added to dictionaries, j.a.panese actually is a pretty ‘freedom’ language.

(T/N: This author uses the word ‘freedom’ quite often as both a verb and adjective in a rather tongue-in-cheek manner.)

Due to that, one theory of why j.a.panese people are bad at learning English is because, other than the grammar being convoluted, the language is too simple and straightforward that they can’t fully convey their ‘freedom’ expressions.

Bocchan translating English “I love you” into “the moon is beautiful tonight” is also mainly due to the j.a.panese language being so ‘freedom’ so it cannot be helped. ¹

“Well, so, anyways. The other side is also treating this as the revealing of the queen consort who hasn’t appeared in public after the royal wedding. I’m not doubting you, but just do make sure that you don’t start any trouble.”

“Oh goodness me. Do I look like someone who would do such a thing?”

Grace words causes “Don’t push me! Really, don’t push me!” to flit across Onee’s mind, but no one here would get it so he simples nods obediently. ²

・

・

・

Thus at Galdeia Kingdom.

The delegation’s visit concluded without any issues.

The queen consort and Onee did notice each other, but naturally private conversation was impossible in such a formal setting, so they only exchanged looks and thought ‘could it be’ in their hearts.

The ceremonies ended smoothly without any issues.

The ceremonies ended without any issues.

“So, what did you think, Asahi?”

“AS IF THERE ARE j.a.pANESE LIKE THAT!?”

While walking down a corridor beside the king, the queen consort’s tsukkomi roars out.

Despite all the emotion loaded in that shout, the actual volume is suppressed so that it doesn’t reverberate. As expected of the j.a.panese who are known for their careful consideration of their surroundings.

“There’s a limit to how tall someone can be, but that I can still understand. But what is with that thickness?! His arms are even thicker than my waist!! Even bodybuilders don’t become like that!!”

The queen consort brandishes the argument known as ‘common sense’ to deny the theory of Onee being j.a.panese, but unfortunately Onee is indeed 100% j.a.panese.

Furthermore, his muscles were trained up together with his late wife for actual combat use. It’s totally different from bodybuilders’ muscles that are only for display.

“Eh, but I think Asahi’s the one who’s just too slender though.”

“Shaddup. More like, each and every one of you people are too huge.”

Ouhi-sama is actually slightly above the average height for j.a.panese woman, but in this world she is considered to have a small build.

It is said that this is why the king suddenly awakened to his love for her. It is said that the shock of being hit by this diminutive queen consort caused the love for his sister that had nowhere to go to suddenly evolve.

It is said that this was a miracle of love.

“Anyhow…… nn?”

The king suddenly stops talking. The queen consort naturally follows his line of sight. And there in the courtyard, sitting on a bench, is Onee.

Beside him is the female knight Grace.

“Speak of the devil, huh. The one beside him is his colleague? They seem quite close.”

“She is the First Prince’s favorite, apparently. Her family’s rank is low but her mother was the prince’s wet nurse, and now she is his most trusted knight.”

“And then that muscle daruma is the knight that he relies on the most? So one on each side, huh.”

The queen consort observes the two most trusted retainers of the heir prince.

But while she is doing so, Onee notices the king and queen consort, and his eyes meet with the latter’s.

“……”

“……”

No words are spoken.

Belatedly noticing their presence, Grace gets off the bench and kneels on one knee, but Onee is still motionless.

Indeed, the two have realized it.

The man sitting on a bench, and the heroine who’s pa.s.sing by.

That both are j.a.panese, and also what the other is going to say next.

“Uho! A hot guy……”

“Shall we do it?” ³

““Do WHAT?!””

Of course it had to be that.

A large majority of people probably saw it coming from a mile away.

But of course otherworlders won’t get this reference. The sudden public declaration of infidelity from the queen consort and a knight causes both Grace and the king to shout in shock.

And this is how the two j.a.panese met each other in this otherworld. Immediately afterwards the king jumped at Onee in a jealous fit but ended up being pressed into the ground by Onee. Watching the two of them entangled with each other sparked Ouhi-sama’s creativity and she began sketching furiously. And all in all, the courtyard of this royal palace in this otherworld became dyed in mayhem and chaos.

…… Today, too, this otherworld is at peace.

¹ There is an anecdote that when famous j.a.panese author Natsume Soseki was teaching English, one of his students translated English “I love you” directly as is into j.a.panese, in response to which Natsume said “Us j.a.panese won’t say that. At least make it something like ‘the moon is beautiful tonight.’” In other words, it is a roundabout confession. Though the probability that this actually happened is low, despite how well-known this anecdote is. (according to j.a.panese pixiv encyclopedia)

² “押すなよ!絶対に押すなよ!” is a famous gag by j.a.panese comedian group Dachou Club that involves one member doing something carefully (such as crossing over a tub of hot water) while repeated saying “Don’t push (osu na yo)!” and another member eventually pushing him.

³ This is in reference to a meme based on the opening scene from Yamakawa Junichi’s h.o.m.o manga Kuso Miso Technique. In the scene, a character named Masaki is walking by when he crosses eyes with Abe, an older guy sitting on a bench. Upon seeing him, Masaki says to himself “Uho, Hot guy!” while Abe promptly unzips his jumpsuit, reveals his genital and asks, “Shall we do it?” suggestively. Here’s the KnowYourMeme page (NSFW).