Marrying An Older Man Part 3

Haney burst out laughing. Jesse shook his head, no longer even trying to tame his grin . "You'll have to forgive Handsome," he said to Caroline. "He can't resist a pretty girl."

"Especially one as pretty as you," Handsome added quickly.

Caroline inclined her head and said, "Why, thank you, Jesse."

Handsome's chair screeched as he reeled back, thoroughly spurned. All three of the other men laughed heartily. Even Sarah chuckled. Both Jesse and Haney had managed to empty their bowls already. Caroline s.n.a.t.c.hed up the ladle and filled Jesse's bowl first, men Haney's. She pa.s.sed out more biscuits and asked Jesse if she could get him anything else. Handsome gaped, Jesse chuckled, and Tiger sn.i.g.g.e.red.

Haney said mildly, "Handsome's not used to sharing the attention."

"Sharing," Handsome said cryptically. "So far I'm mute and invisible!"

Tiger gave off one loud whoop of laughter, then managed to swallow the rest. Everyone else covered their mouths or averted their faces. Caroline pretended not to have the least idea what was going on. Concentrating on her lunch, she forked up bites of salad and shared a grin with Jesse, who kept shaking his head.

Thanks to Sarah, conversation around the table began to focus on other subjects. Handsome, to his credit, did not sulk. His smile was much too quick, his self-esteem much too healthy, but he did tone down the nutation to hopeful glances and fulsome compliments on the food. Caroline continued to ignore him. Jesse continued to chuckle at Handsome's expense and treated Caroline's regard as nothing more man a tactic to thwart Handsome. But Caroline was in deadly earnest. She liked this man, liked him immensely.

She enumerated his sterling qualities silently. One, he had a constant heart. Otherwise, he wouldn't have grieved his late wife so long. Two, he cared about his friends' happiness. At least, he cared about Nancy's, as he should. But not too much. Three, he was fair and trusting. Despite wanting to keep his private involvements just that, he had taken her at her word and allowed her to speak to his mother, then made no objection when Sarah hired her. Four, he was very thoughtful of his mother and obviously valued her good opinion. Five, he liked to laugh and did so easily with the men in his employ. Six, he was even more potently good-looking up close than at a distance. And seven, if he was a little gruff with her at times, well, it could be his way of protecting himself against the attraction. She felt sure there was an attraction. If not, she meant to try her hand at developing one.

She smiled to herself as she calmly ate her soup and listened to the chatter around the table. It felt good to be part of a group. It was almost like a family. For a moment, she imagined that she was Sarah and Jesse was Haney. The other three around the table were their sons, grown but still close. Mentally, she added daughters-in-law and grandchildren, until the house was bursting with : the sounds of teasing and laughter, conversation and even the occasional wail. Oh, how she wanted that, or something very like it, a family of her own extended to several generations. And this was just the place to have it, a real home with a history all its own.

, Suddenly the desire, the need, for that dream to come true gripped her so tightly that she could barely breathe. It struck her, in the midst of it all, that she was just what she had so often felt. Alone. Completely alone. From now on, there would not be even a note from her mother saying that she was going to be late. From '- riow on, it was just her, all by herself. She felt a spurt of panic, but then Jesse said something that made everyone laugh, and just the sound of his voice soothed her.

She reminded herself that she had come here for two reasons, a job and to get to know Jesse Wagner. So far, so good. She had Jfl job. Now all she had to do was keep it long enough to fix Jesse Wagner's interest, and she was willing to give it as much time as needed, months, if necessary.

Oh, yes, her interest in Jesse Wagner was very sincere. And if he didn't kaow that now, he soon would, for she was a determined woman with a mind of her own-and absolutely nothing to lose.

Chapter Three.

Jesse set his hat on his head and tapped it into place. As he reached for the b.u.t.tons on his coat, the door swung open at his back and Tiger stepped down onto the pathway beside him.

"Wind's died down."

' 'Hallelujah," Jesse said drolly. ' "Thought I was going to bleed to death, it was so sharp this morning."

Tiger chuckled. "You carp about the cold every year, but I haven't noticed that it slows you down any."

Jesse shot him a narrow look. "No? You just haven't been watching." '

"Oh, yes, I have."

Jesse stepped off toward the barn, and Tiger fell in beside him. They walked several steps before Jesse heard himself wondering aloud, "You suppose Handsome's going to spend all afternoon trying to get Caroline to notice him?"

Tiger laughed. "Wouldn't do him no good. That little gal's made her preference real plain." < "aw,="" she's="" just="" leading="" him="" a="" merry="" chase,"="" jesse="" said="" dis-missively,="" and="" he="" was="" certain="" that="" something="" clinched,="" forming="" a="" knot="" beneath="" his="" lower="" rib.="" he="" wouldn't="" admit="" to="" a="" soul,="" not="" by="" word,="" deed="" or="" expression,="" what="" miss="" caroline="" moncton's="" pointed="" regard="" was="" doing="" to="" him.="" it'd="" been="" a="" long="" time="" since="" a="" female's="" every="" glance="" and="" motion="" had="" danced="" over="" his="" nerve="" endings="" like="" electricity="" between="" poles.="" just="" the="" sound="" of="" her="" voice="" had="" stoked="" fires="" in="" him="" that="" hadn't="" burned="" in="" years.="" but="" even="" if="" she="" was="" serious-and="" it="" wasn't="" likely-he="" would="" do="" nothing="" about="" it.="" he="" had="" learned="" the="" hard="" way,="" long="" ago,="" that="" he="" was="" not="" meant="" for="" yoking="" up.="" he="" was="" one="" of="" those="" old="" bachelor="" types="" not="" fit="" for="" making="" part="" of="" a="">

Tiger was shaking his head and making negative sounds. "I don't know, Boss. She sure seems mighty fixed on you."

Despite the lurching of his heart, Jesse refused to consider it "Naw, she's just letting young Handsome know he's met his match and b.u.t.tering up the boss hi the process. You watch, she'll be hanging all over him by week's end."

He wondered if maybe he shouldn't be somewhere else around then. For the first time, he wished Nancy wasn't getting married, but the next instant he backed off that. It was beyond selfish for him to resent having his comfy little arrangement brought to an end, especially as Nance had been so very generous over the years. He'd explained right at the beginning, of course, that he couldn't give her anything but some private fun and the simplest sort of friendship, and he'd been beyond relieved when she'd taken hun at his word. It had lasted far longer than he'd intended or expected. If he didn't^know quite how to go about making another such arrangement, well, that was probably just another result of the pa.s.sing years. He was no longer comfortable frequenting the kinds of places where he'd met Nancy Shaver.

Tiger said, "She sure is a looker, that Caroline."

Jesse set his back teeth. She was that. "If you like them barely out of the cradle."

"Ob, I don't figure she's that young," Tiger said. "I did at first, but the way she puts that young buck in his place, she's bound to be past jailbait, anyway."

"She's all of twenty-one," Jesse informed him drily.

"See there," Tiger said with some enthusiasm. "She ain't too young even for you."

"h.e.l.l's bells, Tiger!" Jesse exclaimed, coming to a full stop. "That just makes her sixteen, almost seventeen years younger than me! You don't think that's a bit of a gap?"

"Not too much," Tiger muttered, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and hunching his shoulders.

"Huh." ', Jesse started walking again. He really didn't want to talk about this anymore, but Tiger wasn't taking the hint. He caught up and matched his strides to Jesse's longer ones, asking, "How d'you know she's twenty-one?"

Jesse's mouth twisted wryly. "She showed me her driver's license, and as a matter of fact, she's only just twenty-one. Her birthday was the eleventh."

"Well, if that don't beat all," Tiger mused, grinning. "Hired on her birthday. Must be some kind of an omen there."

It was an omen, all right, Jess told himself as he quickened his strides, leaving Tiger behind again. It was a sure sign that he was every bit as old as he felt, and that's all it was for him. Usually he didn't mind too much the swift pa.s.sage of the years, but he found that he was still enough of a b.a.s.t.a.r.d not to want to have to watch Handsome make time with that pretty little Caroline.

As a matter of fact, he was darn tired of watching from the sidelines while the world paired up. It was just the sort of thing that had secretly pained him for a long time. It was bad enough that his little brother Ryeland had gotten over his own disastrous first marriage and recently found love again, not that Jess begrudged him his happiness. He'd always suspected that Rye belonged with someone. He'd even encouraged Rye, in his own way, to give love a chance. But Rye was in New Mexico with his new bride, and it was easy to be happy for him at a distance. Now the world's obsession with organizing itself into couples had come right onto the home place where there was no escaping it.

Jess had no doubt that Nancy had meant it as a favor for both himself and young Caroline, but still he wished mightily that she'd kept her lip as tightly b.u.t.toned in this case as she had in the past But there he went again, getting all caught up. in himself when his mother so obviously needed the help. Old habits died hard and sometimes not at all, which was exactly why he was on his own-and always would be.

The back door opened, and Sarah recognized Jesse's footsteps in the hall. Her gaze went immediately to Caroline. She had already abandoned the corn bread batter she was putting together and was reaching behind her for the strings of her ap.r.o.n. Tugging them free, she whipped off the utilitarian garment as she moved toward the door. Sarah smiled down at the sink before which she stood, Caroline was obviously doing her best to attract Jesse's attention. She had been throwing herself into Jesse's path at every opportunity for days now. Plunging her hands into die warm dishwater, Sarah listened unabashedly.

"h.e.l.lo, Jesse," she heard Caroline say warmly.

A heartbeat pa.s.sed before Jesse boomed in a too-hearty voice, "Well, h.e.l.lo, Miss Caroline," in exactly die same tone he'd use wim a precocious six-year-old. Sarah winced.

"Can I get you anydiing?" Caroline asked hopefully. "A cup of coffee? We have some in die keeper, but I'll be glad to make afresh pot, if you like."

"Hmm?" Jesse sounded distracted. "Oh. No, thanks. I'll help myself to something later."

Sarah frowned. What was wrong widi dial son of hers? Didn't he know when a pretty young woman was interested in him? Or had he been alone so long mat he'd forgotten die way of dungs? She shook her head, an old worry nagging at her. :< kay="" had="" died="" so="" long="" ago="" that="" sarah="" sometimes="" had="" trouble="" remembering="" her="" late="" daughter-in-law's="" face.="" yet="" jesse="" continued="" to="" hold="" on="" to="" die="" pain="" of="" her="" loss.="" it="" bothered="" sarah="" because="" it="" dkte't="" seem="" right="" somehow:="" before="" kay's="" death,="" she="" had="" worried="" that="" the="" marriage="" hadn't="" seemed="" strong="" or="" intense="" enough.="" truthfully,="" she="" hadn't="" been="" certain="" dial="" jesse="" and="" kay="" were="" even="" in="" love.="" having="" grown="" up="" together,="" they="" seemed="" more="" like="" friends="" or="" buddies="" man="" lovers="" and="" spouses.="" but="" rnen="" kay="" had="" died,="" and="" jesse="" had="" been="" stricken="" in="" some="" way="" that="" sarah="" couldn't="" even="" understand.="" she'd="" supposed="" at="" die="" time="" that="" he'd="" loved="" kay="" far="" psiore-than="" she'd="" realized.="" over="" the="" years,="" however,="" she'd="" won-i="" if="" it="" wasn't="" guilt="" because="" of="" the="" way="" kay="" had="" died.="" it="" had="" been="" an="" accident,="" of="" course,="" a="" freakish="" combination="" of="" natural="" disaster="" and="" modern="" technology,="" but="" survivors="" sometimes="" blamed="" themselves,="" and="" jesse="" did="" seem="" compelled="" to="" take="" responsibility="" for="" the="" world="" at="">

Recently her younger son's happiness in his new marriage had made Sarah realize that she didn't want her older son to continue his solitary existence. Despite the state of her own marriage, she wanted Jesse to know the kind of partnership she and Haney had once had-before age and arthritis had robbed her of the vitality that her husband still possessed. Sarah pushed mat thought away as she focused on the sound of Caroline's voice.

"I starched your jeans, just the way you like them," she was saying.

"Did you?" Jesse replied mildly. "That's nice."

Exasperated, Sarah wondered if it was time to have a talk with her thickheaded son. Didn't he realize how hard Caroline worked to please him? She'd put a knife-edge crease on his precious blue jeans. Any food he liked, she saw to it that he had it He'd gotten his bed changed twice this week because of a pa.s.sing comment on the pleasure of sleeping on crisp sheets. Sarah expected that Caroline would be ironing them next! And it all went right by Jesse without making the slightest impression. Drying her hands, she turned toward the doorway just as a crestfallen Caroline wandered back into the room. Her resolve suddenly fixed, Sarah lifted her chin.

"Caroline, I completely forgot that I sprinkled powdered cleaner hi my shower this morning and it was wet. If one of us doesn't take care of it, that stuff will be set like cement."

"Vinegar 'will dissolve it. I'll take care of it."

"Thank you, dear." Jesse clumped past the doorway just then, perusing a stack of mail. "Son," Sarah called, "can I have a word with you?" '

He stuck his head around the edge of the door frame. "I've got some correspondence to take care of, Mom."

"This won't take long," she insisted.

He shot a wary look at Caroline. Sarah nodded; sending Caroline on her way. Her head down, Caroline slipped past Jess aad along die hall, her footsteps light and quick. Only then did Jesse step into the kitchen. Sarah lifted an eyebrow. "You know, don't you, that she's doing everything in her power to make you notice her." It wasn't a question; he'd given himself away in just those few moments. He shrugged.

"Maybe she has a little crush. You know how kids are/'

"Yes," Sarah said, "I know how kids are, but Caroline hardly qualifies."'

"Oh, come on, Mom. She's practically a teenager."

"I suspect she was practically a teenager at ten. From what she's told me, I mink Caroline was one of those youngsters who had to grow up fast. Probably because her mother never has."

Jesse was going through the mail again. "Umm-hmm, probably."

Sarah sighed. "Jesse, haven't you noticed anything special about Caroline at all?"

He nodded without looking up. "Sure."

"And?" Sarah pressed.

He lifted his head then. "She seems to be working out pretty well."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "She's a G.o.dsend!"

"Good."

"Is that all, Jesse? Is mat really all you have to say about her?"

He shrugged again and turned away, mumbling, "It's kind of nice to have a kid around the place."

Sarah shook her head in disgust and let him go. A kid. He looked at Caroline and all he saw was a kid. She was darned sure mat Tiger and especially Handsome, for all the good it did him, saw the lush, lovely young woman mat was Caroline Moncton. Well, she shouldn't be surprised, she supposed. Like father, like son.

The one time she'd mentioned to Haney the possibility of Caroline nursing a genuine interest in their son he'd grunted and muttered something about what fools kids could be. It was as if he'd forgotten that he had once quite willingly made a fool of himself over her, But he had loved her then. Before she had gotten too old and too ill to interest him anymore.

Bitterly, Sarah turned back to the sink. The warm water often made her hands feel better, and the ache was suddenly so intense that she felt close to tears.

Caroline looped Sarah's red wool scarf around her throat, tugged the edge up over her ears and stepped down onto the walk, the thermos bottle snug beneath one arm. Clumsy in a pair of Haney's old galoshes, she turned and firmly shoved the door closed. The house was so well insulated and the windows and doors so tightly fitted that it was a little bit like uncorking a bottle when one went in and out. To Caroline that was more proof of how high a priority Jesse placed on his home. Her own airy duplex apartment seemed insubstantial by comparison. G.o.d knew that every errant breeze found its way inside to chill her at night. She imagined that Jesse slept warm and peacefully in his neat, second-story room, and it only seemed right, since he had to spend much of every day working in the bl.u.s.tery, freezing weather.

Fresh snowfall had been shoveled off the walk, and she shuffled easily down it in the big boots, wondering how Jesse stood the constant cold. She was a bit worried about him. He hadn't come in for his coffee break this morning in order to nurse a sick horse, and even though Tiger and Handsome had told her that the bam was relatively warm, she felt that he needed the fortification of a hot cup of coffee.

It was just like Jesse to give up his coffee break in order to nurse a sick horse. He sure loved those horses, and in her short time at the ranch she had learned that Jesse's horses brought in as much and sometimes more income than the cattle. She'd felt a spurt of pride when she'd heard thai, but she wasn't surprised, not at all. Jesse Wagner was a man who could do things, important things. He could certainly take care of his home, his family, his horses, his vehicles, his ranch and everyone on it. There wasn't much, frankly, that he couldn't and didn't do, at least as far as she could tell, and it wasn't fair that he should have to miss his midmorning coffee.

She reached the end of the walk and stepped carefully onto the ground, keeping to the path that the men had forged through the freshly fallen snow. She had to raise her feet' her toes back with every step to keep the overlarge boots from slipping, but she did so with studied deliberation. Jesse wouldn't like it if she wasn't careful. He expected everyone to be as careful and responsible as he was. When she'd realized mat was why he'd scolded her for not having the proper outerwear to endure the weather, she'd gone right out and bought the finest insulated gloves that, she could afford. She intended to purchase a warm m.u.f.fler next, and then a good hat. She hoped he would be pleased. He might not notice the other little things mat she had done to please him, but her lack of adequate outerwear had been.of some concern to him from the beginning. Surely he would notice.

She was winded by the time she reached the open area around the big metal barn at the bottom of the hill, but at least the snow had been packed down by vehicle and animal traffic- so that the going was definitely easier. Every so often, a big, fat flake wafted past the end of her nose, reminding her that more were on their way. She hoped that Jesse's horse would be better before the next big storm broke. Her footsteps crunched across the packed, icy snow, and once or twice she broke through the crust and supped a bit, but all in all, the trip was an uneventful one.

The bar was set on the big sliding door in the end of the barn, so she went to the small side door and tried the handle. The padlock hung loose, but the heavy metal door felt frozen in place. Gripping the thermos more tightly, she put her shoulder into it and forced it back a few inches, working her way through. This end of the barn was dark and cavernous and filled with vehicles and other heavy equipment, but a light shone about midway down the row of stalls below the loft to her left. She hurried that way, shivering in the heavy shadows, but as she drew closer to the light and farther beneath the loft, the air grew warmer and more fragrant Her footsteps slowed as she began to take notice of the many animals housed in two rows of stalls flanking a muddy cement center aisle strewn lightly with hay. A horse occasionally neighed or bl.u.s.tered. A cow mooed complainingly. Hooves clunked against stall walls. Teeth crunched and ground bits of feed. Eventually she heard a tow voice.

"All right now, let's get this off and see how we're doing. Whoa now. Hold on. Hold on."

She stopped and peered into the stall. The rump of a big, golden brown horse shifted to one side, allowing her a glimpse of Jesse, bending at the waist and lifting a front hoof. He was unwinding what appeared .to be a dark, heavy, bulky bandage.

"Almost there. Almost. Ah." He straightened and set aside the fat bandage, draping it over the stall wall. It promptly slid down again, but he caught it before it bit the ground.

"Want me to hold that?"

He jerked around at the sound of Caroline^ voice, the horse awkwardly shifting. "What"re you doing here?"

She set the thermos on a thick post. "Thought you could use some coffee."

His gaze flickered over her and away. "New gloves?"

She smiled brightly. "Yes. Do you like them?"

He shrugged. "What matters is that they keep your hands warm."

"They do."

He made no answer to that Instead, he slid her a narrow look and said reprovingly, "Isn't that my mother's scarf?"

Some of the pleasure of having him notice the gloves evaporated. Her smile faltered. "Yes, yes, it is. But I intend to buy my own very soon."

"See that you do."

She looked down at her feet, hoping he wouldn't ask about the faded galoshes, and said, "What's wrong with your horse?"

"He has an infection in the fetlock," Jesse explained. "There doesn't seem to be any cut, though, so I'm hoping it's an abscess caused by a bruise. I'm trying to draw it to a head so I can lance it." He flopped the bandage over the wall again. It slid off again. He tossed it over his shoulder, but when he bent forward, it flopped on the ground. He made a disgusted sound, scooped it up and straightened once more.

"Is there some reason I shouldn't hold that?" she asked lightly.

Reluctance seemed to slow his movements as he turned toward her and extended the puffy strip of plastic and leather. "It's hot''

She took it carefully into her hands, surprised at its weight "Oh, I see. It's some sort of chemical hot pack."

Jesse turned away and bent to lift,the horse's hoof again. The horse snuffled and shifted aside. It seemed unwilling to place any weight on the leg Jesse was determinedly examining.

"What if it isn't an abscess caused by a bruise?"

He studied the fetlock, saying, "Then I'll have to call a vet and get a stronger antibiotic than anything I have on hand."