Marrying An Older Man Part 13

Nodding, she slid both arms around Sarah's shoulders and turned the other woman back to the kitchen. Jesse went straight down the hall and up the stairs. At the landing, he turned right toward his parents' room rather than left toward his own. The door was standing open, and he paused on the threshold long enough to see that his father was sitting on the edge of the bed still wearing his coat, his hat in his hands, head bowed and jaws working. Jesse walked into the room and stopped.

"Ready to talk instead of shout?"

Haney waved a hand at him but didn't look up. "Notbin' to talk about," he said, that gravelly voice rife with pain.

Jesse unb.u.t.toned his coat. "Yeah, right. You go ballistic because I suggest Mom's feeling a little vulnerable and weak right now and-"

"She's not the only one!" Haney barked, leaping up off the bed. "h.e.l.l's bells, Jesse, you don't think it pains me to see her hurting? What do you expect me to do about it? I'm afraid to even touch her! All I know to do is to put it out of mind and go on!"

"Dad, I understand what you're saying, but-" "You don't understand nothing! You haven't slept in the same bed with one woman for more'n half your life!"

For some reason that rocked Jesse back. It touched something hot and tender deep inside of him, something sore and aching that he hadn't even known was there. It must have been apparent, too, because Haney's face suddenly fell.

' 'I didn't mean that the way it sounded," he said more sedately.

Jesse shook his head and tried to put a normal face on it. "No, you're right. I don't know what it's like to be married for a long time. But I do know Mom, and I know she's suffering right now."

Haney looked away. "I never said she wasn't suffering. I only said she ought to keep what's between us where it's always been and where it belongs, between us. She shouldn't have said nothing to you. She should've talked to me about it."

Jesse finally understood the problem. "Dad, she didn't say anything!" He wouldn't tell him that it was Caroline who had pointed out the problem to him, only mat the problem had become obvious. ' 'I just realized that she seemed to be needing a little special attention, that's all."

Haney sent him a sharp look. He shifted his weight nervously, wiped his palms on his pants legs and looked away again. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in his throat. "You figured I didn't notice that?"

"Frankly, yes. Otherwise, you'd have realized that she wanted you to go to the spa with her the other day. She needed your support for that."

Haney made a face.' 'Jesse, I don't buy no snake oil. You ought to know that!"

"No one's saying that it's a cure, Dad!" Jesse pointed out. "But it did make her feel better, and right now that's about all we can do for her. She has a right to feel better, doesn't she?"

'"Course," Haney said dismissively.

"Besides," Jesse said, taking another tack, "you should've gotten a load of her in that bathing suit."

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Haney stabbed him with his gaze. "You think I don't know how she looks in a bathing suit?"

Jesse disciplined a grin. "If you did, you'd have been there to look again."

Haney frowned. "That ain't no way to talk about your mother."

Jesse chuckled. "You're just sorry you weren't there."

Haney lifted a hand to the back of his neck. "Better I wasn't," he mumbled. He looked up at Jesse from beneath the crag of his brow, the message in his eyes telegraphing clearly. He didn't want the temptation. He really was afraid to touch her. Jesse understood suddenly why his mother was feeling self-conscious and old and why his father was short of temper. Was she that delicate? Or was it that Haney couldn't handle the situation? Whichever, Caroline had seen it, -not him.

Rattled, Jesse stepped back, but he said, "Dad, Mom needs you more than ever just now."

Haney stared at him for a long moment as if trying to decide something, but then he nodded. "I know. I'll go down and apologize in a minute if you'll get Caroline out of the way. I've embarra.s.sed myself in front of her enough."

Jesse nodded. It seemed that there ought to be something more to say, but for the life of him he couldn't think of it. He backed away, slowly, struck by how sad his father seemed to be just standing there with his hat in his hands. For the first time that morning, Jesse felt perfectly helpless, and he didn't know why.

"Just give me a minute," he mumbled, backing toward the door. Haney didn't reply and didn't look at him, though Jesse knew he'd heard. Jesse turned and walked out of the room, even more troubled than when he'd entered, just in another way.

He went lightly down the stairs and up the hall to the kitchen. Caroline was speaking to Sarah in a low voice as she thumbed through a cookbook. Sarah's eyes were dry, but she looked up the instant Jesse entered the room. For the first time, Jesse took off his hat. "Dad will be right down," he said with a tight smile. Relief flooded Sarah's eyes. She nodded and turned away. Jesse looked at Caroline, aware of the trepidation in her gaze. He kept his voice carefully neutral. "Caroline, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

She closed the cookbook and laid it on the counter. "Sure."

She lifted her chin, but he knew dread when he saw it. He tried a smile, but it didn't seem to make much difference. He led her to the living room, where he set aside his hat, tugged off his gloves and slipped out of his coat. She trailed a hand along the back of the couch, but he noticed that the other was knotted into a fist. He ran a hand through his hair and opened his mouth to speak, but at the last instant she beat him to it.

"It's all my fault, I know. I never should have said anything to you. It wasn't any of my business, and if I hadn't convinced you to-"

"Whoa! I didn't bring you in here to bust your chops."

She looked up in surprise. "You didn't?"

"No! Dad just asked me to give him and Mom a little privacy so he could apologize."

"Oh." She sagged against the couch, obviously overcome with relief. "Thank G.o.d!"

He couldn't help a chuckle. "You didn't really think I was going to be that tough on you, did you?"

She made a face. "I wouldn't blame you if you were, but that's not what I meant." She put a hand to her chest and closed her eyes. "I felt so sorry for her! He was so angry, and I couldn't even tell what it was about at first." To his dismay, she burst into tears, "Here now!" He stepped forward impulsively. She twisted her &ce away as if in shame. He lifted his arms, lowered them, lifted tern again. d.a.m.n! He mentally slammed off the alarms blaring inside bis head and did what seemed best under the circ.u.mstances: be stepped up and took her into his arms. She turned her face to chest, sobbing like her heart was broken. "Caroline, honey, t There's no reason to cry. Come on now." , *:Sfce looked up then. Her eyes were moss green, with tiny shards of blue in them, His heart constricted. "I thought I'd ruined it for them," she said through her tears.

He chuckled but not because it was funny. It just seemed terribly important that he make her feel better somehow. "Sweet- 127.

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heart, one shouting match doesn't make much dent in a forty-year-old marriage. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong. Neither did I, come to think of it No, there's more here than either one of us realized, I think, but they'll work it out. You'll see."

Her breath came in shudders. "You're sure?"

"Absolutely."

She closed her eyes, sighing in relief. "There's such pain there, Jesse. It breaks my heart. I couldn't bear it if I were the cause!"

He could see very clearly that she meant that, and it touched him deeply. "Sugar, you've done nothing but good around here. Your concern for my mother is obvious and helpful-to her and to me. Even to Dad."

She sniffed, a smile starting. "Really?"

"Really. Now dry those tears."

But instead of drying up, fresh tears welled again. She shook her head. "I can't help it," she whispered, a smile wobbling on her lips. He knew then that he had to kiss her. There just wasn't any other way.

It was as natural as breathing, bending his head to hers, covering her mouth with his. At first it was all comfort given and taken. She tasted of honey and salt, the saltiness of her tears, the honey beckoning him deeper into her mouth. It might have ended just the way it had started if she hadn't gone up on tiptoes, her hands lifting to his head, fingertips brushing lightly through his hair then splaying to cup his head and press his mouth harder to hers. Suddenly, even knowing that he was going to regret it, he desperately wanted that honey and plunged his tongue into her mouth for it.

She shuddered and tightened her hands in his hair, lifting against him. As she pressed against his chest he thought of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s spilling over the top of her bathing suit and groaned. Her hands slid down the nape of his neck to his shoulders, briefly ma.s.saging the muscle there before her arms slid around his neck.

He tightened his arms, and that leg curled around his again. At the same time, her tongue dueled with his and slid into his mouth, nearly blowing the top of his head off. Another moment and she would completely wrap herself around him, taking him between; her legs. He quivered at the thought, achingly aware of the hardness in his groin and the softness of her belly. Then she pulsed against him. It was just the barest rocking of her hips, the tiniest tilting of her pelvis, the slightest rub against him, and he very nearly exploded. Once more and he would, like some randy schoolboy copping a feel.

Thoroughly disgusted with himself, he pushed her away, held her off, really, the length of his arms between them. The hardness in his groin knotted painfully, but it served him right d.a.m.nation, what was he doing? He had to' get control of this! The dreamy look on her face didn't help him one bit. Eyes glazed, mouth parted and moist, she showed him naked desire. It was all he could do not to pull her against him and finish what he had so .stupidly started. But he wouldn't. h.e.l.l, no, he wouldn't. He hoped. He stared at one hand, willing the fingers to unwind and release her. To his relief, they did. He jumped back about a yard.

She stayed there, swaying lightly, and a slow smile curled her lovely lips. She took a deep bream and reached out a hand for him. "Jesse."

The sound of his name skittered over his nerve endings. He shuddered and shook his head defensively. "No. No, no, no, no, no!"

She languidly put both hands to her hair, still looking at him like she could eat him up in a single gulp. "Jesse, don't you see? It's perfect. You're perfect for me. You're everything I've ever wanted, and I know you-"

"Caroline! Stop right there!" He didn't think he could bear more. He sucked air and searched for the words. He knew they were there somewhere, buried under all those images of her in mat swimsuit, wrapping herself around him.... Oh, Lord, he was losing his mind! She took a step toward him. He jumped, putting out an arm.

"Caroline, this is all my fault! I'm sorry! I know I said it wouldn't happen again, and it wouldn't have if-" He gulped. Better not go there. "What I mean is, I...I took advantage of a w-weak moment, and I'm thoroughly ashamed. I give you my wer4 it won't-will not-happen again."

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AND A.

G/FT!.

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She actually stamped her foot. "Jesse! Why don't you get it? I want it to happen again! And again! And-"

"No!" He made a slicing motion with his hand, cutting her off. Realizing that he had shouted, tie lowered his voice to a rumble. "I mean it, Caroline! I won't have an affair with a girl young enough to be my daughter!"

She made a sound somewhere between a growl and a screech, a warning clear enough to make him backtrack to complete factuality.

"All right, almost old enough to be my daughter! That's not the point!"

She put her hands to her hips. "No, it's not the point, Jesse! Age doesn't have anything to do with this."

"You're saying that because you aren't old enough to know any better!"

"I'm saying it because it's true!" Her voice rose alarmingly. "I know you want me as much as I-"

He shushed her with one eye on the doorway. "Keep your voice down!"

"I know you want me as much as I want you!" she hissed, hands knotting into fists. "You can't deny your feelings, Jesse, not with me! Not after that kiss!"

"You let me worry about my feelings!" he hissed back, punctuating it with a jab of a forefinger. "I mean it, Caroline! This has got to stop! I will not...become involved with you!"

"You are so stubborn!" she said, stamping her foot again.

"That's right! So just forget about it! Confine yourself to my mother's feelings and forget about mine! This is the end of it. Understand me?"

She folded her arms, head c.o.c.king to one side. "Oh, I understand you, Jesse. Now you understand this! I'm not some teeny-bopper with overactive hormones! I'm a woman with a mind of my own, and I know exactly what-and who-I want. If you just give us a chance, we can be really good for each other."

"No, we can't, baby," he told her sorrowfully. "That's what you've got to get through your pretty head. I'll never,be any good for you. Never."

She straightened her spine and looked him square in the eye.

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"I don't believe that, Jesse Wagner. I don't believe one word of it!"

It was obviously no use. It was going to be totally up to him : to protect the little fool from herself. If only he was up to it!

"h.e.l.l!" he swore, grabbing his coat and hat.

She wrapped her arms tighter and narrowed her eyes at him, as if to say that she wasn't about to give up.

"h.e.l.l and d.a.m.nation!" He crammed the hat on his head and got out of there, slinging on his coat only as he tore out of the house into the cold, gray day.

That woman was going to be the death of him! How did she get so aggravating in just twenty-one years? How did she get so- No, she was not irresistible. Tempting as heaven, but not irresistible! He wouldn't let himself even think it. Because he would resist the fetching Caroline. He would resist her until she forgot all about him. And then she'd be safe. They'd both be safe. And life could get back to normal again.

Why was it that normal had never seemed so bare? Or so lonely.

It took far less careful prodding than Caroline had antic.i.p.ated to convince Sarah that the beauty makeover was a good idea. Even though Sarah and Haney had kissed and made up Caroline sensed an uncertainty there, a silent worry too personal to be shared, but whether or not that had anything to do with Sarah's receptiveness to change, Caroline couldn't be sure. She did not doubt, however, that Jesse was ultimately responsible for Sarah's decision to go through with the makeover, and she blessed him L for making the suggestion in advance of her own-^even if she did want to wring his neck these days.

He had gone right back to his polite, charming, very distant old self, as if he had never kissed her and she had not declared herself and nothing had changed. But two could play that game.

l' Let him think that he had her at a safe distance. She was right here in the same house, and there would be plenty of opportunities to prove her point. Meanwhile, Christmas was coming and Caroline loved her attic room. She would be content for the moment if not for Sarah's brooding.

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At least Sarah's arthritis seemed less painful for several days after their visit to the springs. She actually managed the Christmas shopping in good time and enjoyed a little window shopping along with it. Caroline talked Sarah into a few purchases for herself and in the process gathered a decent understanding of Sarah's personal taste and private wish list. Then came the appointment at the beauty salon.

They were like two giddy girls. Caroline went along to pave the way and lend a helping hand. Mostly she helped Sarah decide to do all that the stylist suggested and then held her hand while more than a foot of hair was chopped off, the remaining was shaped, colored a b.u.t.tery blond highlighted with silver and brushed into a full, cla.s.sic style that would be easy to maintain. In the end, it swung sleek and straight from a side part to her collar, where it curved under gently, framing her patrician face. It remained long enough to sweep into a short, simple ponytail or a sophisticated twist, the color bringing a glow to her supple skin.

Sarah was thrilled. She went into the makeup session with heightened enthusiasm. The cosmetician used a touch of plum shadow to bring out the color of her gray-blue eyes, a bit of pencil to darken the natural arch of her brows, and a subtle touch of mascara. A soft blush on her cheekbones accentuated their height. The final touch was a rich pink moisturizing lipstick for every day and a dramatic blue-red for dressy evenings. In the slim jeans and soft pink sweater set that Caroline had convinced her to buy, Sarah looked fifteen years younger.

"Only my hands look old!" she said in amazement, prompting a lavish manicure that left her with oval, pearl pink fingernails and soft, elegant hands.

Caroline could hardly wait to show her off. Heads literally turned as they walked down the street together arm in arm. A woman whom Sarah had known the better part of twenty-five years failed to recognize her when they pa.s.sed by. Then, after Sarah went back to speak to her, she gushed on and on, finally leaving with the name of the shop and stylist and a personal recommendation. Sarah was laughing and gay in a way that Caroline had never seen her. She bought a pair of earrings and a 131.

frivolous pair of bedroom slippers before they headed home-and gave Caroline another delicious idea.

c Half an hour later they were chattering like a couple of magpies while hurriedly preparing dinner. It was almost on the table when Caroline heard the side door open. Excitement sped up her heart, but a glance at Sarah found her calmly arranging tomatoes and sliced onions on a small plate. As footsteps clearly belonging to Jesse moved down the hallway, however, Sarah sent an apprehensive glance at the doorway, then quickly swept off her ap.r.o.n, draping it over the back of a chair. When Jesse arrived, she was poised, placing the plate of fresh vegetables on the table.

For a long moment, Jesse simply stood in the doorway and stared. Then slowly his jaw dropped and he stepped into the room.

"Mother?"