Marguerite Verne; Or, Scenes from Canadian Life Part 9

As Mr. Spriggins is a gentleman of no mean pretensions and occupying a prominent place among our characters we will again introduce him as he is seated in the office of the Dominion Safety Fund.

The general agent greets Mr. Spriggins in his usual gentlemanly and una.s.suming manner--a fact which is not lost upon the applicant.

"Well, Mr. Agent, spose you'll think it a mighty queer business to see a feller comin' here without a bein' asked, so to make a long story short, I might as well till you all about it."

With this remark the speaker pulled his chair closer to the desk and with an a.s.sumed business air began--

"You see, Mr. Agent, I'm not a married feller but have a terrible good mind to hitch on one of these days and that's the reason I'm here to-day."

"A poor place this to come to look for a wife," remarked an elderly gentleman in a gruff voice, who had just entered on business as the last words had been repeated.

A happy smile illuminated Mr. Spriggins' face as he rose to retaliate.

"Oh, indeed sir, I'm posted on such affairs. When I want a pard'ner I know mighty well where to go--none of yer peeaner players for me--give me the girl that can make b.u.t.ter and boil a pot of tatters without havin' em all rags and mush."

Mr. Spriggins became more and more eloquent upon the necessary qualifications of the future Mrs. Spriggins, and then once more addressed the gentleman behind the desk.

"Well, now, Mr. Agent, suppose you don't mind me a askin' a few questions on this eer bisness."

"Not at all sir, that is our pleasure Mr. ----"

"Spriggins sir. I'm Moses Spriggins of Mill Crossin', but they allus call me Mose to hum for short."

Mr. Spriggins would have added further explanatory remarks but was interrupted by the official:

"Now Mr. Spriggins, I wish to hear from you--"

"What do you say the name of this consarn is Mr. Agent?"

"The Dominion Safety Fund Life a.s.sociation."

"Well now, that's a terrible long name. Hanged if that doesn't beat Uncle Amaziar Wiggleses family, for their oldest gal's name is Samanthy Eunice Esmereldy Jerushy."

At this speech Mr. Spriggins burst into a fit of laughter, affording sufficient proof to the company that there was little need of the necessary medical examination to testify that the applicant was of sound health.

"Why do you call it the Dominion Fund?" queried the applicant looking intently at the t.i.tle.

"Because it is the only one of its kind in the Dominion sir!"

"All right, Mr. Agent. Safety Fund--that's a queer name. Would you mind explainin' that. You musn't think hard of me sir if I want to know all about this business, for you know people have been so taken in by so many humbuggin' consarns that it makes a feller keerful."

Within a very short time Mr. Spriggins was led to see the beauty of the Safety Fund. How that the longer he was insured the more favorable his position; how persistent members of the cla.s.s received the benefit, etc.

"That's just the thing I've been lookin' for," exclaimed the applicant, his face aglow with enthusiasm.

A few more preliminaries were discussed to the entire satisfaction of Mr. Moses Spriggins, and arrangements were made that he should present himself before the medical examiner on the following morning at ten o'clock.

"Nothin' could suit better, Sir, for one of our naber's girls is a'stayin' in town now, and there's enough attraction there, sir, to keep me here for to-night."

Mr. Spriggins cast a knowing glance at the official as much as to say "you understand me."

On his way up Princess street the veritable Mose might be heard soliloquizing at a wholesale rate--"Well, now, its mighty cheap, too, and a feller is gettin' sich profit; better that than raisin'

tatters and lettin' the bugs eat 'em--on a thousand, too. By George, it's next to nothin'; let me see: four times $1.44--4 times 4 are 16. 6 and carry 1; 4 times 4 are 16 and 1 are 17; 4 times 1 are 4 and 1 are 5--576, that is $5.76, and $3.00--$8.76--and next year less--then lesser, and then I'll be a makin' right straight along-- won't Melindy Jane be astonished." A dashing turnout for the nonce arrested Mr. Spriggins' attention, and as he gazed at the richly caprisoned steeds, and fair occupants, exultingly exclaimed, "Yes, ye think yer a mighty fine crowd, but there's not one I'd swop for Melindy Jane."

And Mr. Spriggins had not changed his opinion when, at the appointed hour, next morning, his good-natured face wreathed in smiles, made its appearance before the official, hailing all with delight, and full of conversation of the most animated style.

The entrance of the medical examiner now claimed attention, and when the said Mr. Spriggins had pa.s.sed the fiery ordeal his delight knew no bounds.

"What did I tell you--sound as a bell--no kinsumption among the Sprigginses."

This and corresponding remarks fell from the lips of Moses as the papers were being filled. Silence was the order for a few moments when our friend rising quickly to his feet exclaimed:

"But, hold on, here's sumthin' I've not seen afore. Is it part of the agreement?"

Mr. Spriggins then drew attention to the motto--

_"non mihi sed meis vivo."_

The medical gentleman very quietly allayed Mr. Spriggins' fears by convincing him that it was the motto--the principle which governed the working of the inst.i.tution, and also, gave the literal meaning in our mother tongue.

"The very words I told Melindy Jane last night. Well, if it don't seem, like magic. If it don't suit my case to a tee--not for myself but others--well, there is just one mistake in it. I would say not for myself--but mine."

Mr. Spriggins directed his remarks to the follower of Aeculapius with an air of importance, and then began a vigorous onslaught on the p.r.o.nunciation of the foreign words.

"And that's Latin. Well, I never had such liken' for Latin afore. If I wasn't too old would try to learn it yet--by jimminey, doesn't it say nice things though?"

The forms being filled in and payments being made Mr. Spriggins reluctantly arose to depart, but another glance at the motto and he broke forth afresh. "It's just the thing that old Parson Simes was speakin' of last Sunday--gracious me--who'd a thought there was so much religion in the insurance business. Well, sir, I feel like a different man already; and now folks, if you see any more fellers from the Crossin' you'll know who sent 'em that's a sure case. I tell you what the crossin's not the worst place to come to, and if any of yous would happen to come our way don't forget to give us a call."

Thus ended Mr. Spriggins' speech and as he made his exit through the doorway at a two-forty gait a smile was visible upon the occupants of the office. But ere business had been suspended for the day Mr.

Spriggins again appeared on the scene with the following exclamation:

"I could'nt go back to the Crossin' without seeing you and tellin'

what I heard. Of course I wouldn't like it to go outside as it is a kinder secret but thought it too good to keep, eh Mr. Agent."

Mr. Spriggins threw himself into an arm-chair and then in lively tones continued:

"You know them ere Verneses that live in the big house on that high bank near the Square--well that's where Melindy Jane is hired, so of course when I left here I went up there and as I was a showin' the paper to Melindy Jane and explainin' it who should walk in but one of the young ladies.--(Now between you and me and the wall I believe it was a put up job of Melindy's to show me off and have the young missis' idees of me.)"

At this point Mr. Spriggins became very confidential and lowered his voice almost to a whisper, then, no doubt bethinking himself of the importance of the subject added: "Howandever its no matter here nor there, so as I was a sayin', the young missis came right over and I had to say sumthin', so I ups and tells her where I had bin and you never seed anyone more delighted. She seemed to know all about it and told me it was the best insurance consarn in the dominion."

At this remark the agent smiled and said that he was pleased to know that young ladies were interested in the Inst.i.tution.

"Well, sir," continued he, "but that was not the hull of the conversation. I was a'telling her about that ere young lawyer, the young feller that gave the advice for Josh Jones (I declare it makes me bile over while I think on it), and she listened quite attentif and took great consarn in it, and said she was sure I would get justice, as Mr. Lawson was an honest lawyer, (and between you and me, Mr. Agent, that's more'n can be said of most of 'em)."

"You are rather severe on the legal profession, sir," ventured a voice from the other side of the room.

Mr. Spriggins having confided his affairs, and seeing that business absorbed the attention of his audience, finally took leave, with the parting injunction to give him a call if they happened his way.