Manners and Rules of Good Society Part 29

For the details of "Breakfast-table Arrangements and Serving Breakfast,"

see the work ent.i.tled "Waiting at Table."

The guests usually leave as soon as breakfast is over, unless the ladies are invited by the hostess to accompany her to the drawing-room, or the gentlemen are invited by the host to smoke a cigarette or cigar previous to their departure.

=House Party Breakfasts.=--In the country the breakfast hour varies from 9 to 10.30, and in some country houses it is an understood thing that the guests are at liberty to come down to breakfast at any time between nine and half-past ten. In not a few country houses the hostess and the ladies breakfast in their own rooms, and the gentlemen of the party breakfast with the host in the breakfast-room.

The breakfast gong is a signal for a.s.sembling in the breakfast-room or dining-room, but it is not the custom to wait for any one beyond five or ten minutes.

The host and hostess at once take their places at the breakfast-table.

When the house-party is a large one, and s.p.a.ce permits, a number of small tables should be arranged in the breakfast-room, in addition to a long breakfast-table.

The servants should remain in attendance during breakfast to wait upon the guests.

There is no general move made from the breakfast-table as in the case of luncheon or dinner; the hostess generally remains until the whole of the guests have at least commenced breakfast, save in the case of very late comers, for whom she would not be expected to remain at the head of the breakfast-table.

The guests leave the breakfast-table as soon as they have finished breakfast, without waiting for any intimation from the hostess to do so.

CHAPTER XXVIII

PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES

Many things contribute to draw people into the country and away from town in the month of September; therefore there is a far larger number in each and every neighbourhood inclined for a picnic or a water-party than in the three previous months, June, July, and August.

Picnic parties are sometimes invitation parties, and on other occasions contribution parties, or parties which partake in a measure of the character of both.

=Picnics by Motor-Car and Picnics by Rail.=--Almost every county has its show place, or its ruins, its ruined abbey or its castle, its romantic scenery, and its fine views, its hills or its dales, its waterfalls or its glens. The southern and western counties are as rich in these respects as the eastern counties are barren.

When a picnic party is to proceed to its destination by rail, a saloon carriage is engaged beforehand, and arrangement is made at the nearest hotel to supply the party with luncheon at from 5_s._ to 10_s._ per head, according to the style of luncheon required; or hampers of provisions are taken under the charge of one or two men-servants.

If the picnic party proceeds by road, a coach is the favourite mode of conveyance, whether driven by the owner or hired for the occasion. This is a more sociable way of going to a picnic than dividing the party into detachments and conveying them in separate carriages. This is sometimes unavoidable, and if the party is a.s.sembled for a start, it occasions no little discussion as to how the party should be divided and conveyed in the various carriages, and it takes no little tact to arrange this in a satisfactory manner--to overrule objections, and to make things work smoothly. Again, the members of a picnic party occasionally find their way to the place of rendezvous independently of each other; but, although this plan saves trouble, it does not promote sociability, and parties of four or six are apt to clique together during the day, instead of making themselves generally agreeable. The provision question is a very important one, and the heads of a picnic party should arrange in concert what each is to bring in the way of fish, flesh, fowl, fruit, and wine.

The services of one or two men-servants at a large picnic party are generally required to arrange the table, to open the wine, and last, but not least, to collect and repack the articles used in the way of plate, china, or gla.s.s.

=A picnic luncheon in September= is not always the _al fresco_ spread under the greenwood tree that it is in July, and oftener than not is held in the best parlour of a rustic inn, or, by permission, in a barn or shed, when the weather is not favourable for camping out.

Usually, when a large picnic party is arranged and got up by some three or four ladies and gentlemen, they divide the expenses of the entertainment between themselves, and determine how many shall be invited, each having the privilege of inviting a certain number. Other picnics are got up on a different system, each person contributing a share towards the general expenses; but these gatherings are not so sociable as are the invitation picnics.

Invitation picnics where everything is done _en prince_ are extremely enjoyable and friendly affairs; they are big luncheons, given out-of-doors instead of indoors, at a distance instead of at home. But even these are not more pleasant than those well-arranged little picnics given by officers in country quarters, when the regimental coach conveys a favoured few to some favourite spot.

=Water-Parties.=--There are many ways of arranging a water-party at yachting stations and at all riverside places. At yachting stations, for instance, a sailing yacht is hired to convey a party of from eighteen to twenty-five to some point of interest on the coast, in which case luncheon and tea are provided at an hotel in the vicinity of the place where the party have landed, and the expenses are equally divided. Not unfrequently, on the return journey, the yacht is becalmed, and does not reach its destination until between two and three the following morning.

If it happens to be a fine moonlight night, this prolongation of a water-party is an additional source of enjoyment; but if there is no moon as well as no wind, and the calm betokens a storm, it is the reverse of pleasant. But these little _contretemps_, when they do occur, rather lend a zest to the day's pleasure, and are something to talk about afterwards.

Water-parties are often given by owners of yachts. These are invitation parties, and luncheon, tea, and sometimes dinner, are served on board, and the party land and stroll about, but return to the yacht to be entertained.

Picnic and water-parties in general include as many gentlemen as ladies, whether they are invitation or contribution parties, although sometimes a majority of ladies is unavoidable. Ryde is a favourite station for water-parties, as the island itself, as well as the opposite coast, offer innumerable points of interest for picnicing, and many are able to combine the pleasures of the yacht with those of the launch in one and the same water-party; thus a party sails from Ryde to Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, and then proceeds in a steam, or other, launch to Alum Bay.

Launch parties are immensely popular, both on the river and on the coast. Some picnic on board, and others on sh.o.r.e, as they feel disposed.

=Canoe-parties= on coast and river are also popular with both ladies and gentlemen, and here again the useful launch is brought into requisition to convey the party home, as an hour and a half to two hours is an average time to paddle a canoe; after that time the party land either on the rocks or on the sh.o.r.e, and light a fire and boil the kettle for tea.

If the tea-drinking and the after-tea ramble are unduly prolonged there is a chance, if on the coast, of the steam-launch running out of coal, and of the party having to return home in their own canoes considerably later than was expected, and not a little fatigued.

CHAPTER XXIX

JUVENILE PARTIES

=Juvenile Parties= form a prominent feature in the entertainments given during the winter months. There is scarcely a household the children of which are not indulged with one large party at least, while others are allowed as many as two or three children's parties during the winter months. These parties offer no little elasticity as to their arrangement, varying from a child's tea party, composed, perhaps, of five or six children, to a juvenile ball, or fancy dress ball. Some mothers object, on principle, to the latter entertainments, on the ground that to give a large juvenile ball provokes a corresponding number of invitations, and that a round of such gaieties is not good for young children, either from a moral or from a hygienic point of view.

Morally, that such amus.e.m.e.nts are likely to destroy or impair the freshness of childhood, and to engender artificial ideas in their young minds in place of such as are natural and healthy, and that the imitation of the manners and bearing of their elders causes them to become miniature men and women, and divests them of the attributes of artless and unaffected childhood.

=The dresses worn by children= at these entertainments are of so elaborate a character--and so much pride is exhibited when wearing them--that a spirit of vanity and a love of dress are aroused at a prematurely early age. From a physical point of view, late hours, heated rooms, rich dainties, and constant excitement have a pernicious effect upon children.

There is, of course, an opposite view taken by those who uphold juvenile b.a.l.l.s; they consider that children are the better for a.s.sociating with others of their own age outside of their own family circle, and that in the case of only children such a.s.sociation is calculated to render them lively and intelligent. Another argument in favour of these juvenile parties is, that children who are in the habit of constantly attending them acquire self-possessed and confident manners, and that all shyness, _mauvaise honte_ and _gaucherie_, which distinguish many children when in the company of strangers, are dispelled by frequent intercourse with children of all ages. Thus, in place of the noisy game of romps, the little gentlemen ask the little ladies to dance, pull costume bon-bons with their favourite partners, and offer them similar attentions throughout the evening. Of course, there are shy little gentlemen and shy little ladies even at a juvenile ball; but it is the constant endeavour of those who accompany them, whether mammas, elder sisters, young aunts, or grown-up cousins, to persuade them to get the better of this diffidence, and to induce taciturn Master Tommy to dance with timid Miss Tiny. Sometimes Master Tommy is obstinate, as well as taciturn, and his "won't" is as strong as his will. As with all things, so with children's parties, the medium course is, perhaps, the wisest to take, running into neither extreme--avoiding too much seclusion or overmuch gaiety, and rendering such gaiety and amus.e.m.e.nt suitable to the ages of the children invited. When an evening's entertainment consists of a series of amus.e.m.e.nts, it is a mistake to crowd too great a variety into the s.p.a.ce of four hours, the usual limits of a child's party, for if so the programme has to be hurriedly gone through, and is hardly finished before the hour of departure. No little judgment is required when organising juvenile parties. The hours usually selected for children's parties, whether on a large or small scale, are from four to eight, five to nine, six to ten, or from seven to eleven.

=The children on their arrival= are received in the drawing-room. In most cases their relatives, either mothers or grown-up sisters, are asked to accompany them.

There is great punctuality observed as regards the hour of arrival, and tea is usually served in the dining-room about half an hour after that named on the invitation card. The interim is generally pa.s.sed by children in watching each fresh arrival, and in greeting their little acquaintances, comparing notes with each other as to the teas and the parties they are going to, or in amusing themselves with the toys belonging to the children of the house, which are usually arranged on tables for this purpose; and mechanical toys, walking and talking birds, etc., musical toys, picture-books, and dolls, and the latest and newest inventions in the way of playthings afford the little visitors an opportunity for becoming at ease with each other.

Tea is generally dispensed at one end of a long table, and coffee at the opposite end. The governess usually pours out the tea, and one of the daughters of the house the coffee; or failing her, the head nurse or lady's maid does so. Dishes of pound, plum, and sponge cake are placed the length of the table, interspersed with plates of thin bread-and-b.u.t.ter, biscuits, and preserves; either the ladies of the family or the servants in attendance hand them to the children.

When the relatives accompany the children tea is usually served to them in another room, but frequently they do not arrive until tea is over, and the nurses accompany the children to the house.

=Amus.e.m.e.nts.=--The arrangements for the evening's amus.e.m.e.nt are regulated in a measure by the amount of accommodation a house affords, premising that boisterous games are not allowed in drawing-rooms, unless all valuable ornaments or things likely to be broken are removed from the rooms.

If conjuring is one of the amus.e.m.e.nts provided, it generally takes place in the drawing-room immediately after tea, and lasts about an hour. A dancing-cloth is put down over the drawing-room carpet; rout seats or cane chairs are arranged in rows. The youngest children are seated in the first row. Performing birds, performing dogs, or performing monkeys are also favourite amus.e.m.e.nts at these parties, and rank next to conjuring in the estimation of children. Punch and Judy or marionettes are popular drawing-room amus.e.m.e.nts, and either occupies the s.p.a.ce of an hour.

When a cinematograph show is the entertainment provided, it takes place in the dining-room or library, or perhaps in the housekeeper's room, if large enough for the purpose.

Dancing or games usually precede these amus.e.m.e.nts, and lasts from half to three-quarters of an hour; little girls dance with each other round and square dances, as little girls are, as a rule, more partial to dancing than are little boys, although they one and all, great and small, join with glee in a country dance, or in the Tempete, or in "Sir Roger de Coverley."

Not longer than an hour is devoted to dancing, and this is usually followed by games.

Impromptu charades is a favourite pastime with children; but to avoid the juvenile audience becoming weary and impatient during the preparation of the charades it is as well they should be amused with some quiet game, such as "forfeits," "cross questions and crooked answers," "proverbs," etc. At Christmas and New Year's parties the distribution of presents is a very important feature; Christmas trees are now rather discarded in favour of greater novelties. "Father Christmas," "Santa Claus," "The Fairy G.o.dmother," "The Fairies' Well,"

or the "Lucky Bag" and "The Magic Log," are some of the many devices for the distribution of presents; these popular characters are represented by grown-up persons, and provoke much wonder and admiration amongst children. The presents are usually given at the close of the evening.