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She was glad she had talked with the women. They had helped her to understand herself and to remember what love was all about. Now she only needed to confront Dagon, not with demands, for she wanted nothing from him that he did not choose to give. She simply wanted to love him.
In her attempts to solve her problem she had lost her way, misunderstood and misguided herself. She flopped over on her back, staring at the ceiling and the faint light of the bright moon shining through the window. She had forgotten her own teachings, her own lessons, her own wisdom. In essence she had lost herself, but the beauty of the whole experience was that she was free to once again discover herself, and that was a unique opportunity.
Tomorrow she would seek out Dagon and talk with him. She would not wait any longer-she would once again take charge. She suddenly felt like her old powerful self, and she smiled with a wisdom she had lately ignored.
Tomorrow was a new day, but then, it already was tomorrow. Why wait any longer?
She laughed softly and hopped out of bed, causing Lady Lily to protest with a gentle meow at being disturbed. She thought to dress, but then thought better of it. Dressed in her white flannel nightgown, her dark hair tousled, and her feet covered with slouching white socks, she headed for Dagon's bedroom.
Dagon tossed and turned until he thought he'd go mad with the want of sleep. He didn't want to think. He wanted nothing but pure, uninterrupted, dreamless sleep. And he was getting none of it. Instead his thoughts were driving him insane. He could not get Sarina out of his mind. She haunted his every thought whether waking, resting, or sleeping. She was there, a permanent thought in his mind.
He hadn't even given consideration to the Ancient One. He was actually losing interest in his well-formulated life plans. What he once thought important-a powerful mating and an exceptionally skilled wife-seemed dull and unattractive to him. Chaos had entered his life in the form of a b.u.mbling witch named Sarina, and he wondered if he could ever live without her.
He had once considered his life to be full, yet he didn't know the true meaning of abundance until Sarina.
He grabbed for the pillow beside him and placed it on top of the other pillow beneath his head. If sleep was to elude him, he might as well be comfortable.
His intentions had been to speak with Sarina this evening before he retired, but after his conversation with Sebastian he thought better of it. He needed time to think this through, to better understand what he felt. Besides, he didn't think Sarina would welcome him.
He smiled, recalling how Sydney once told him he had never known true love, and he now could agree with her. Love was a crazy emotion that could not be understood or ever fully grasped. Too often people chased after love when love never ran from them in the first place.
He had chased after it in an attempt to capture its essence when all the while it was right there in front of his eyes, and yet he was too blind to see its beauty. He foolishly thought he could manipulate, plan, and produce love the exact way he wanted it.
Love had other ideas.
He now understood why love was considered the highest of emotions. Love set no limits, asked for no guarantees, love simply was.
And he simply was in love with Sarina. And it felt good, right, perfect. He wanted her in his life permanently. He wondered when it had happened. When had he fallen in love with an unskilled witch who dangled from a chandelier and a window, got stuck in a chimney and a tree, flooded the laundry room with suds, and walked barefoot through the woods?
He laughed softly at the many memories and wondered what other adventures awaited him and wondered if perhaps he had not fallen in love with her the very moment he saw her dangling from his chandelier. Had he failed to pay attention to the obvious? Had he not listened to his own heart, his own emotions when dealing with her?
Last night was a prime example of his disregarding his emotions. He instinctively knew he should not have waited to invite Sarina to partic.i.p.ate in the dinner party. It was his own fault that she was forced to serve, and that could have been avoided as well. One word from him to Bernard, and she would have been released from her duties for the evening. But he foolishly did not pay attention to his instincts. He had allowed her to serve, and naturally chaos prevailed.
Though it still disturbed him that Sydney had been able to right her wrongs. Her powers did exceed his, and perhaps they were substantial enough to deal with Sarina's inadequate skills. He would have to remember to discuss the matter with her.
Right now he was thinking that he needed to talk with Sarina. There was much for them to discuss. And there was much for him to learn and understand about her. He should have summoned her to his study after speaking with Sebastian. Instead he retired to his room to sulk like a spoiled child. When what was necessary was for him to understand and admit how much he loved her.
Admitting his stubborn foolishness was not easy for him to do. He always prided himself on his intelligence, especially his ability to deal with any given situation. He would sense what was necessary and proceed accordingly, but then those situations had never involved him being truly in love.
True love did not play fair.
He drew his hand slowly down his face. He had never felt more frustrated in his whole three hundred years. He was not reacting at all like himself. If he were himself, he would have this whole dilemma settled by now. He would take charge and charge in, and fate be d.a.m.ned, he would succeed.
He sprang up in bed. What was he waiting for? Did he expect fate to intervene and determine the outcome? Or did he intend to be himself and determine his own outcome?
He would do what he did best, take charge. If he could straighten out the mess Ali had gotten herself into over Sebastian, he could certainly handle his own dilemma. And besides, there was no spell involved in this situation. He did not have to concern himself with a time frame or worry about words that could break or seal a spell. He was free to pursue Sarina at his leisure or in haste.
She was young, perhaps barely a hundred years old. There was much he could teach her, and he would be patient with her lessons. Of course, she did possess the gift of sight and a remarkably accurate sight. A worthy skill to pa.s.s on to children.
Children!
He hoped she wanted many for he had always planned on a castle full. He laughed thinking of a daughter with less than adequate skills chasing after Lady Lily, whom she would probably have flying upside down through the air.
He threw the covers off himself and walked naked to the chair where his silver silk robe lay and reached for it. He was tired of waiting. Waiting to talk with Sarina about last night's events, waiting to tell her how much he loved her, waiting to tell her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and waiting to tell her he wanted to make a baby with her as soon as possible. The ultimate act of sealing their love.
With determined strides he marched toward the door and flung it open.
Sarina jumped back startled.
Dagon smiled, stepped back, and waved her in.
Nineteen.
Before her courage could fail her, Sarina rushed into the room, tripping over the hem of her white flannel nightgown, and landing safely in Dagon's arms.
"At least I have you where I want you," he teased and was about to steal a kiss when she nudged him away from her.
"We must talk.""
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing myself-that's why I was on my way to get you."
His admission startled her. "You were coming to my room?"
"Yes," he confirmed and shut the door. "It is my castle and I am permitted to go where I please, and it pleased me to talk with you."
"About this evening?" she asked.
"That among other things."
Sarina looked to the rumpled bed. It seemed to invite and beckon, she could almost smell the scent of him on the warm sheets, and she very much wanted to slip beneath his covers and lose herself to him. Instead she walked over to the hearth, extending her chilled hands out to the warmth of the welcoming fire.
Dagon followed, though took a seat in the chair not far from where Sarina stood. He sensed her desire. It was palpable but along with it came apprehension, and he wanted her doubt vanquished before they joined together in his bed.
"Where shall we begin, Sarina?" he asked softly and extended his hand out for her to take a seat.
She shook her head. "No, thank you, I'll stand."
This time he shook his head. "Not a good idea. Your nightgown may be flannel, but it is a light flannel, and with the light of the blazing fire shining on you-" He once again shook his head. "My imagination only needs to wonder how many ways I will enjoy you. And lets not forget those socks I've warned you about. They will definitely remain on you, the only thing that will remain on you."
Sarina immediately took a seat in the chair opposite the other end of the hearth from where he sat and crossed her legs and arms.
He laughed. "It will do you little good to lock yourself away from me. But first things first. What is it you wish to speak to me about?"
She wondered where her jitters came from. Her decision to come here had been easy, so why now was she apprehensive? She was aware of the consequences of her actions, had counted on them in helping her to settle this problem. Why think of retreat now?
She shook her head without thinking.
"You don't know what you want to speak with me about?"
She kept shaking her head slowly, her glance settling over him as if she were seeing him for the first time. He was much too handsome especially sitting there like a king on a throne, arrogant, proudful, and much too appealing. His long dark hair was tousled from his restless slumber. His silver robe fell open down to his waist, and his bare chest rippled with defined muscles. His bare feet were crossed at his ankles, and though his robe covered his legs, she was aware that he was completely naked beneath.
The thought that all she had to do was simply untie the belt at his waist and he would be free of all restrictions sent her pa.s.sion soaring and her hands itching.
He leaned forward in his chair. "Dear heart, we are definitely going to have a problem if you give your thoughts rein in that direction-unless of course that's why you came here?" "No, yes, no, ohhh," she said in frustration. He smiled. "Calm down, Sarina, and tell me your thoughts-well, maybe not your present thoughts, but the ones that brought you to my door." "I couldn't sleep," she began. "I suffer from the same infliction," he admitted. She relaxed, though her body's alert posture told him she remained on guard. "I thought about this evening and how I must have disappointed you." "I was not disappointed with you this evening." His voice was firm, almost angry, and she looked at him with wide curious eyes. "The evening was my fault and I take full responsibility for it." She protested, "But I created the mess." "No," he insisted, "you did your job and most adequately." "By dumping soup on Sebastian and creating a chain of events that left no one untouched?" "Sydney managed to escape the chaos," Dagon said, thinking that somehow that was an important piece of information for him to remember. "Regardless, Sarina, the incident was not your fault, and I am not angry nor disappointed with you. I am, however, disappointed that we did not get to spend the evening together."
"I didn't think you wanted to see or speak with me after what happened."
"And I thought perhaps you didn't care to see me."
A soft smile stole over Sarina's face. "I don't think we've been honest with each other."
"Then perhaps now would be a good time for us to start."
"You're right," she said. "Let's start with why you were coming to my room."
Her wit was sharp and he admired that quality. "One reason was to apologize for placing you in an
awkward position this evening."
She attempted to disagree.
He held his hand up. "I apologize and I will hear no more about it. Now tell me what else is on your
mind."
"Too much," she admitted, hugging her arms. "
I know the feeling; it overwhelms at times."
His honesty amazed her. "Then you feel it, too?"
"All the time. There isn't a moment that it doesn't intrude on me day or night."
"Do you mind this intrusion?"
"I welcome it," he said on a whisper.
"So do I," she admitted just as softly.
"Now the question is what do we do about it?"
"Explore it?" she asked innocently.
His smile was wicked. "Aren't you afraid of where it will take you?"
"No," she said without hesitation. "It will take me exactly where I'm supposed to go."
"Where do you want to go?"
She stood and walked over to him. "Anywhere you want to take me."
He thought of all the things he wanted to say to her, all the things he wanted her to say to him, and yet at
that moment in time he felt the only way either of them could be truthful with each other was through their actions.
He stood.
"Are you ready to tempt fate?" she asked softly and untied his belt, letting it fall away, and running her finger down the lapel of his robe to spread it open.
"Are you ready for the consequences?" he asked, grabbing hold of her hand.
Consequences born of love, how bad could they be? She no longer doubted herself or him, they loved plain and simple. She felt it in his heartbeat that kept steady rhythm with hers, in his desire that heated and raced his blood right along with hers, and much deeper, where only true love dares to go, she felt it in
their souls. "I'm ready," she said and waited for him to surrender her hand and himself. His hand slipped off hers, and she continued to spread his robe open. "There'll be no turning back, Sarina," he said, her finger sliding down his chest to his waist as she moved the silk material out of her way. "No turning back," she repeated confidently. She was deliberately slow in her perusal of him, her finger trailing along the silk material, dipping beneath to tease his bare chest and then returning to further push the material aside.
Her emotions ran opposite of her actions. Ripping his robe off and tossing him on the bed to land on top of him ran more in accordance with her raging desires, and yet she found the need to proceed slowly, to take her time and explore him to her satisfaction. It wasn't that she didn't want to please him as well, it was that she wanted this time with him to be a magical moment for them to remember always.
Of course dragging her feet would serve no purpose, and she was eager to view him in all his male splendor. With that pleasing thought in mind she ran her hands along his chest, moving up and over his shoulders to slowly slip his robe off.
She watched its graceful descent, her eyes following down along his body until the robe landed in a silver pool at his bare feet, handsome feet they were, slender and long.
The rest of him did not disappoint. His body reminded her of a majestic beast, strongly defined, taut and solid, yet lean and slender. His slim waist narrowed to slight hips and long muscled legs. And of course how could she ignore- She sighed and almost purred in appreciation.
"I please you?" he asked with not a trace of a smile but a look that was so t.i.tillatingly wicked she felt herself moisten with desire and her response sounded as sinful as she felt.
"I've yet to find out."
His laugh was low and rough. "Let me introduce myself properly."
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her body to rest against him, leaning into her and slipping his hands down over her bottom to gently urge her closer. He then kissed first along her neck, taking his time to work his way up near her ear, then over and around it, the tip of his tongue teasing every sensitive spot until gooseflesh covered near her entire body.