Made Of Honor Part 9

"Yeah. He's gorgeous. Your spitting image with Roch.e.l.le's eyelashes, Mama's legs and Dahlia's mouth. Oh, yeah, and Daddy's ears."

"That's quite a picture."

I nodded in agreement. "It is. Wait 'til you see him...." My voice faded. How could he do it? All these years and show up now, calm, like nothing ever happened? To never even call? What kind of man does that?

What kind of Christian tells someone they're forgiven but refuses to forget?

There's a lot on this tab, Lord. A lot.

I took a deep breath. "Did Dad ask you for money?"

"I gave him three hundred. He rode home with me in the taxi."

Home? What on Earth did that mean? Jordan's apartment? Or did he think this sh.e.l.l of a place as his home? He'd taken the home from here long ago.

Don't judge before the time.

The time was years ago! I dropped my head back against the sofa. "Don't give him so much money. He'll kill himself."

Jordan stared at me like I was speaking Russian. To him, I suppose I was. When he'd left, Dad only got tipsy at a wedding or barbeque now and then. Now he stayed drunk. With three hundred dollars, he could wreck himself for sure.

"Okay. I didn't know-"

"There's a lot you don't know, J. Like paying Dad's rent, putting food in his fridge once a week, taking him to the doctor, making him take a bath-" All of which I hadn't done with any regularity lately.

"I'm sorry." My brother's words came out sweet and syrupy, like the gooey insides of a pecan pie. The scratch kind. "I never meant for you to have to become the man of the family." He hung his head. "I'll try and make it up. When I find Dahlia-"

I pulled away. "Good luck with that."

"What happened between the two of you? You were so close. You had her. I didn't think you needed me. Well, maybe she did, but not you. Never you."

He left off what Mama would have said. Dana, she's the strong one. What a joke. I was strong all right, but only because I didn't have a choice. All the "weak" ones did the choosing for me.

"When you find her, ask her yourself. But don't look for her to help you. She won't." I swallowed. Would helping Jordan fall to me, too? "You can stay here if you want, but I warn you, Roch.e.l.le is welcome. Jericho, too. They always-"

He shook his head. "I've got a place. I didn't come here to take anything from them. Or from you."

There's nothing left to take. "That brings me to the real question, J. Why are you here? Mama's not waiting anymore. And I'm worn out from covering for you...and praying for you-"

He stiffened. "Praying? You?"

I guess that forgiveness bit had gone right over his head. I tried not to be offended by his surprise, remembering what a pistol I'd been growing up. Judging from the way I was acting today, I still had a few bullets left in me.

"Yes, me. Who else?" I paused. "Well, Roch.e.l.le prayed, too, of course." Probably not lately. "Maybe Dad, too. He gets real holy when he's drunk. Prays for everybody on the globe."

I wiped my tear-streaked face. "Me, I've been praying for your sorry behind every day since you left, though none of those prayers probably made it past the ceiling until the past three years."

Crow's feet creased the corners of my brother's eyes. "Three years? Are you sure?"

I snorted. "Oh, believe me, I'm sure. I'll never forget the day. June-"

"Ninth?"

We stared at each other. What had happened to him on that day? The day I was born again.

"Those prayers got somewhere all right, sis. In fact, they made it a long way." He patted the sofa beside him. "This is going to sound crazy..."

I braced myself. "Okay."

"You know I played a few years for the Celtics. Then got into some trouble..."

Yeah, I knew. Drugs, fighting, all sorts of madness. And plastered on the news for Mama to see. "She really thought you'd come home then."

He shook his head. "Don't say anything until I'm done." His jaw set into a line. "For real."

I closed my eyes, prayed, and then opened them before nodding in agreement.

"Well, after I got kicked out of the league, I went to Europe, then wherever would have me. I met a woman...."

While we were teaching Jericho how to color inside the lines, he was traveling with a girlfriend? Was this what Roch.e.l.le didn't want to tell me? And why did I feel both pity and anger toward this stranger, this woman who'd changed all of our lives? Maybe because I'd tasted the wrath that led her to such violence and only the sweetness of Christ has washed the bitterness from my mouth.

"Anyway, we were at a tournament in Mexico and things went bad between us. Real bad." He wrung his hands, then lifted his sport shirt. A mishmash of scars cluttered his chest. I gasped, both at the wounds and the outline they made-a crooked cross. "She left me for dead then killed herself. I spent ten years in a coma." He dropped his shirt. "Three years ago, on June ninth, I heard somebody calling my name, telling me to wake up...." His lip trembled. "That it was time for breakfast."

Tears streamed down my face. I gripped the leather so hard it squeaked. The bacon call. I could hear it just like yesterday. "Mama."

Jordan shook his head. "No, Dane. It was you."

I looked at my brother in disbelief. Me? He'd heard me calling him? I tried to think of a sensible response. "Let me get this straight. You heard my voice and woke up?" My hands dropped to my lap. I stared at the clock. Thirty minutes had pa.s.sed since I'd opened the door. Forty since I'd hung up the phone. Where was Adrian? This was more than even I could handle alone. But then I wasn't alone, was I?

Lord, please. Is Jordan serious?

He sure looked it, with that solemn face, now etched with time.

"Yes, Dane. I know it sounds crazy. How do you think I feel? It happened to me. I've spent the last few years learning everything-walking, talking-all over again."

"But who paid for you to be there? Did the team know you where you were?"

He shook his head. "The team thought I'd split town and quit. I don't know who paid the bill. Who knows? I'm just glad to be alive."

I scratched my head. All these years, I'd envisioned my reunion with Jordan, this wasn't the way I thought it'd happen. "Well, I guess this changes things, but you still could have done for Jericho the years you were around."

He frowned. "Do for him? I was a kid, Dane. I sent him money. What else could I do back then?"

The sound of a needle screeching across a record tore across my mind. I skipped over my brother's warped sense of responsibility, and landed on one word-money. "What money?"

He snorted. "The green kind. I sent it to Ch.e.l.le. Mama, too. While I had it anyway."

Confusion bubbled inside me, giving way to understanding. I paused, then exhaled slowly, to delay spontaneous combustion. My eyes watered remembering Roch.e.l.le's mysterious "settlement" so many years before-the money that had sent her to Fashion Inst.i.tute of Technology. Jordan's money?

Had Roch.e.l.le, my friend, my mentor, my sister in the faith lied to me?

You've lied to her, too. And a lot more recently than that.

"Dana? What's wrong? You didn't know? You thought-"

"I thought you never called. Never wrote. Never sent a dime." Wrong was still wrong, but it did give things a little different spin.

"Money wasn't enough. I know that now. But back then, I thought money could do anything, you know. Especially that much money."

That much? My brow furrowed. Did I dare ask the sum? Would Back-To-Life man even remember? "Do you remember how much? The money, I mean?"

Jordan stared up at the ceiling. "Let's see...A couple hundred grand to Ch.e.l.le and fifty or sixty to Mom. Might have been more, but somewhere around-"

"Three hundred thousand?" My throat closed. So that's where Mom got the money to buy this apartment. When the co-op offered the place for sale, I'd offered my pennies, too, but the bulk of the money had been a mystery.

He nodded. "Sure. I'd planned to give more, but then I got drunk that night and didn't wake up-"

I held up my hand. "Whoa. I can't take anymore. We're going to have to weed through this information a little at a time." I took a deep breath. My brother was home after almost losing his life. He'd heard my voice, but had he heard the voice of Christ?

"How about Sunday dinner...after church. I'd love it if you'd-"

"I don't know if I'm ready for that, Dana. I have a lot of people here to apologize to before I go prancing up in church."

"G.o.d is the only one you need to worry about and He's always ready to forgive."

Jordan smiled. "People are a little more difficult, believe me."

Dahlia's teary-eyed face flickered across my mind. "Forgive me, Dane. Please," she'd said.

My teeth ground together. Don't start, Lord. This isn't about me. It's about him. Don't start, Lord. This isn't about me. It's about him.

The doorbell dinged. I jerked upright at the sound of the doorbell. Thank G.o.d. Thank G.o.d.

Jordan stood.

"Roch.e.l.le?" he asked softly.

I shook my head. "Adrian, most likely. I can tell them to come back-"

Ding.

He shook his head. "No, you go on to church. You took this much better than I thought. I considered wearing a football helmet in here."

"You should have."

Dong.

Jordan followed me to the front door. "Church must be doing something for you. You used to be something else."

I sighed. I was still "something else," but I was trying to make it a good something. Jordan hugged me one last time and at his nod, I pulled back the door.

Before I could say a word, Jordan dived across me and gathered Adrian, already in midair, into an embrace worthy of a greeting card-a regular sweater fest.

Adrian's keys. .h.i.t the ground. Were those tears in his eyes? "J.? Is that really you? I can't..." He choked up and looked at me with such tenderness that my tears flowed, too.

Jordan chuckled. "It's me. But, is it you? Look at you, man! You all thick. And here I've whittled away to nothing." He hit his chest. "Dana's cooking, huh? She always could throw down. Just like Daddy."

My mouth hung open. Jordan had always teased me about my cooking tasting horrible. Adrian's eyes got just as wide. "We, uh, aren't married-"

Jordan swiped at his eyes. I paused to consider that he hadn't shed one tear with me. Since when were he and Adrian that close? My brother's voice cracked. "I have so many regrets. Missing Jericho's life. Mama's funeral. Dane's graduation...At least I didn't miss the big event with you two..." He stared into the hall at the door of apartment 203 where Adrian's family had lived. "I'm sorry about your mother, too. I promised her that I'd look out for both of you."

Adrian kneeled down and picked up his keys, then cast a quick glance over his shoulder at his old place. "Well J., that's one promise I hope you can keep." He stood and patted my brother's shoulder and reached for my trembling hand before I could say anything I'd regret. "C'mon, Dane, or we'll be late."

Chapter Seven.

We didn't say much, Adrian and I, as we drove to pick up Mother Holly. Jordan's arrival had sucked the words out of both of us. That and trying to make the second service on time. There was an hour to spare, but Mother Holly could be counted on for two things-loose change and surprises. Most times I loved that about her, but today my surprise-o-meter read "full."

Every now and then, Adrian looked across the front seat at me and took a breath. "Jordan. Home. After all this time," he'd say, or "Who'd have thought?"

I smiled foolishly, allowing the impact of the whole thing to settle. Sure, I'd known about my brother's reappearance for weeks, but to see him...It brought back so many old thoughts, old hopes. I'd known in my head, that nothing was impossible with G.o.d. Now, I knew it in my heart. When Adrian's fingers locked with mine, I knew he believed it, too. But hadn't he always? I looked up at him at a red light. Searched his eyes. Hope flickered there, dancing amid the steady gaze of faith shining from behind his gla.s.ses. Sandy's death had taken from him but it had given him something new, too. I nibbled my lip as he held my hand tighter. Losing was curious that way. Getting something back that you thought was lost was even more strange.

He kissed the top of my hand. "Is this the house?"

I nodded toward the small ranch home with Holly spelled out in sticker letters on the mailbox. Getting our pa.s.senger in the car proved more difficult than I'd antic.i.p.ated. She almost fell out at the sight of my shiny, hoseless legs-I marveled at them, too, but for another reason. Under my dress, the rest of me resembled an alligator. Amazing what a little shea b.u.t.ter lotion could do for the skin. I'd have to make another batch of that lotion for myself p.r.o.nto-taking a bottle from the store was an absolute last resort.

Adrian carried Mother Holly's coffee table-size Bible while I struggled with her suitcase-shaped purse. Was it full of dumbbells? By the time we'd tucked Mother Holly into the backseat beside me, I'd broken a light sweat despite the freezing winter air-a sheen, as Roch.e.l.le calls it.

"So nice of you two young folks to come after me this morning. Even so late and all...." She turned to look out the window as Adrian's Mercedes pulled out of her drive. I stared at the bars on her windows, feeling just as imprisoned as she probably did every day. "I guess we'll have just one more stop and then move on to the church-"

"Uh, Mother Holly, Adrian was nice enough to do me-us-this favor. Let's not trouble him. I can take you back to the grocery store after service."

Adrian's ears twitched. I stared at his face in the rearview. I'd insisted on sitting in the back. It made him feel like a chauffeur, but I didn't want to give the older woman any room for gossip. I was beginning to see that she might not need any room, for gossip or anything else.

This was getting too complicated. "We were going to lunch after service, Mother Holly."

Adrian cleared his throat. "But we could take you out later, after the evening service."

I rubbed my nose with the heel of my hand. Planning to make a day of it, was he?

The old woman shook her head. "No, baby. What we need is a 'right now' thing." She ran a wrinkled hand over my smooth calves. "We got to cover them hams real quick like. You get up there with them big brown legs out and every man in the house will be l.u.s.ting instead of worshipping."

I tried to think of something to say. Anything.