Mad World: Fall From Grace Part 5

"Yeah, only thing that I've been missing is the beautiful girl, but I think that changed recently." He slowed his car to a stop, still watching me. I had no idea how he didn't crash into something, and as horrible as the thought of having an accident was, at the moment it was more than welcoming. I looked out through the windshield and saw the amazing view of Manhattan's skyline glowing against the dark sky. I hadn't noticed where he drove me, but we were in some sort of scenic parking lot like teenagers.

Tucker turned on his audio system and Joe c.o.c.ker's voice wafted through the speakers. Oh my G.o.d, I hated this song.

You are so beautiful To me Can't you see You're everything I hope for You're every, everything I need You are so beautiful to me Before I could even ask him to change the song, even though I had a strong feeling his whole playlist would be cheesy love songs, he leaned across the seat and kissed me. I was completely taken off guard and I gasped. He pulled me closer to him and let out a soft moan. Give him a chance.

"You are so beautiful to me," he sung the words into my lips. His tongue slipped into my mouth, while his hands deftly unzipped my jacket.

He leaned into me harder and I fell back against the window. His hot chapped lips traveled along my jaw, down my neck, lingering on my collarbone. I tried to push him away from me, but his kisses never stopped. His hands roamed all over me, lifting up my shirt, grabbing at me roughly with one hand, and ripping the b.u.t.ton of my pants off with the other. The b.u.t.ton went sailing through the car, smacking against his windshield. He tried to thrust his hand down the front of my pants. Worst moves ever.

Fast images flashed through my thoughts, someone smashing the car door open, screaming at Tucker to get off me; the one I've been looking for. I wish.

"Uh, Tucker. Whoa." I whispered.

He sat back immediately. "Grace, I'm, I'm sorry," he stammered. "I don't know what came over me." He reached out and lifted my chin to look in my eyes. "It's just that you drive me crazy. You are so beautiful and I want to be with you." He grabbed the back of his neck and rubbed it. "Grace, the way you were kissing me, I thought you wanted me too."

I sat up and fixed my shirt. I watched as irritation settled around his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tucker. This is just going too fast, that's all. I really am not the kind of girl who likes to get mauled over in a parked car," I said.

"I'm sorry. I just really wanted to be with you. I wanted to be with you before one of the other guys got to you. You've seen Shane look at you," he said flatly.

"Shane doesn't want me. He just wants another hole he hasn't stuck himself in yet. Tucker, do you really think it would be okay to have s.e.x with me in a car? After knowing me for a whole...what...three days? Is that what you think of me?"

"Holy s.h.i.t, Grace, no. No way. I'm so sorry." He flicked his hand through his hair and looked away. "I just really like you a lot. Please, give me another chance. Let me still take you out to dinner on Wednesday, and I promise I won't try anything."

"No harm done. Well, maybe just to my jeans, but sure, I'll still have dinner with you." I tried to give him a smile.

"I just ruined my chances with you, didn't I?" he whispered.

I turned my gaze from him and looked straight ahead at the expanse of the beautiful twinkling city laid out before me. How could I explain anything to him?

"Look, Tucker, I just haven't been with anyone for a long time, that's all. I'm rusty at this, and honestly, I kind of planned out my life without having any men involved in it," I grimaced.

"What? Why?"

"Let's just say, I once had my heart ripped from my soul. This isn't easy for me," I explained.

Tucker shook his head in understanding. "Sorry, Grace. I'll be much better behaved next time," he smiled. "I'll take you home, okay?"

Just like that, he pulled his little red jaguar out onto the street and sped towards the city. To my surprise, he didn't ask about my past or who broke my heart. I was thankful for the reprieve, but couldn't stop myself from thinking that he was selfish not to ask. Tucker was all about himself. He would be on his best behavior from now on, until he got what he wanted from me, whether it was just to sleep with me or make me the trophy wife to live in the house he planned to buy on Long Island, I didn't know. However, he was sneaky, and much more dangerous than someone like Shane, who would tell you straight out that what he wanted was nothing more than s.e.x.

I'd go to dinner with him and that would be it, his chance was over. I should have known after that first gut wrenching kiss; he wasn't the one I'd been searching for.

Tucker purposely drove slowly. Making small talk. Weather, the band audition, and his law firm. When he finally pulled up to my apartment, he kissed me quickly goodnight on my cheek and apologized again.

Conner and Lea were curled up on the couch when I walked in. Shane and Ethan were sitting across from each other tossing a ball.

Shane straightened up when I walked in slamming the door behind me.

"Hey," I nodded to the room.

Lea gave me a smile thick with implications, "Hey, yourself. Where did you and Tucker go?"

I paused in the doorway, taking off my coat. "He took me for a ride in his car." I looked at Lea, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She jumped up with concern in her eyes and followed me into my room. I closed the door behind her and leaned up against it.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"I'm going out to dinner with Tucker on Wednesday night," I began. Lea's face burst into happy laughter and she clapped her hands together.

"Yea! I knew one of these hotties would..."

"Lea, I'm going to need you to help me figure out something to tell him to get him off my back," I cut her off.

Her smile faded and anger replaced it, "What did he do?"

I burst out laughing. "Nothing to me. Well, he literally tried to rip my pants off me," I showed her my busted jeans and she laughed along with me.

"Lea, I'm sorry. I know you wanted me to like him, so I tried to give him a chance. He was awful. He was like an octopus; his hands were all over me, telling me about how he thinks he found the perfect girl for his house in Long Island. I tried, but he's not the one for me."

Lea crossed her arms across her chest. "n.o.body is the one for you, Grace. And what I want is to get you laid. I'm not asking you to get married to anyone."

I cringed. "Well, the thought of Tucker kissing me again makes me want to wash my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Thank you very much."

"Ugh. That bad, huh?"

I nodded. "Not everyone is a Conner! Do you remember Harry McAllen in tenth grade? How we all dared you to kiss him at Traci's party. And when you did, he vomited from drinking the wine coolers we snuck in right, into your..."

"OKAY! Okay," she cut me off, waving her hands in front of her. "Don't remind me of that! Okay, I understand. But, Grace I just think that you are wasting your life by waiting for something that isn't..."

"Real?" I looked up at her. "He's real Lea. He's more real to me than you are standing right in front of me."

She sighed. "Okay, Grace. I get the point." She opened the door, and turned to look at me again, "But, can't you just think of it as practice for when Mr. Wonderful shows up? Really Grace, what if he's not the same person when you find him?"

My expression must have been bad, because she immediately apologized and ran to hug me. "I'm sorry, Grace, I just don't want you to waste your life." She walked out of my room not even able to look at me again and closing the door behind her.

I reached for the k.n.o.b to go after her, but I stopped when I heard voices in the hallway. "Is she okay?" a mumbled voice asked.

"She's better than anybody I know. She just wants to alone, literally," Lea answered the voice. I couldn't tell who she was speaking to, but really why would I care?

Lea couldn't understand; why would she? How could she? All she knows is this. She can never comprehend what it is I have seen, felt, and have branded on my soul.

I needed to run to clear my head, thoughts of me leaving here for good were seeping into my skin. It would be so easy.

I changed into my sweats and laced up my sneakers. I walked through the house trying not to be noticed. The last thing that I needed was someone following me, but no one was around and whispers were coming from Lea's room. Relief flooded through me, a lone run.

I dashed through the streets making my way into Central Park. I started on one of the loops, but I stopped when I saw a familiar figure sitting on one of the park benches. His white jacket reflected in the moonlight, making him look more angelic than was needed.

"Gabriel," I greeted him. "I was just thinking about you."

He patted the bench and motioned for me to sit down. When I sat down, he grabbed my hands. The warmth radiating off him was almost sublime.

"Hmm. I find myself thinking of you too. Why were you thinking of me?"

"I'm so tired, Gabriel."

"I know. You're on the right path, though." Did he mean Tucker? He smiled rubbing his index finger along my knuckles. It was a strange gesture for him, he'd always gone out of his way not to touch me, and now every time he saw me, he made sure there was some sort of subtle physical contact before he left.

"Gabriel, I really need to..."

"I wish that I could do more," he cut me off with a kiss to my forehead. "I wish I could do so much more for you." Once again, he was gone, leaving me alone sitting on a cold park bench. I clasped my hands together and tried to hold onto the warmth that still lingered on my skin from Gabriel's touch.

Chapter 6.

I woke up the next morning to Conner and Lea singing a duet in the shower. Laughing, I padded my way into the kitchen in my fluffy bear slippers. In my opinion, Conner was definitely living here now, and they sounded so happy.

Shane looked up at me from the kitchen table with an innocent look on his face. "Morning, Sunshine!"

Skimpy little tank top, boy shorts, floppy bear slippers and bed hair is not the way I wanted someone like Shane to see me. I was betting on at least two weeks of insults to follow, but, he didn't even look at my outfit and he didn't give any snide remarks.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and stirred in some sweetener, waiting for him to start with the teasing. "Good morning. Um, do you come here for coffee every day?"

Shane got up from the table and ran his hands through his hair. "We were going on a run, but he slept late. I'll be out of your way in a minute, unless you feel up to running with me?"

I eyed him curiously.

"Why the h.e.l.l are you looking at me like that? No strings attached. I'm seriously just asking if you want to go running with me. Nothing else."

"And you're not going to start joking about me standing in front of you with this on," I pointed to my outfit.

His eyes never left mine. Never looking at where I pointed. "Well, I'm sure you'll change if you want to go running."

I smiled at him. I think he's trying to be on his best behavior. "Who are you and what have you done with that male chauvinist pig Shane?"

"Har, har, har. You coming or not?"

"Sure. Just let me change." I turned to walk back to my room, and immediately regretted giving him that view of me with my short boy shorts on. There was an audible sigh as soon as I did. When I got to my room, I realized I was smiling. Oh, that's not good.

We ran for a good two hours, not once speaking to each other. It was the most comfortable silence I had ever experienced.

We ended up back at my apartment. I took a shower, leaving Shane sitting in the living room watching television. The thought of Shane being in the next room and me in the shower made my mind go wild. I tried to focus on Tucker and about how I could get out of our date on Wednesday, but Shane's beautifully sculpted shoulders kept taking center stage in my mind. What the h.e.l.l?

I tried to relax myself under the hot water, but nothing helped wash away the images of Shane. I blasted the cold water on and stood under the stream shivering. Why do people say this works? It doesn't.

I leaned my forehead onto the cool tiles and closed my eyes. There was always one thing that I could focus on, one thing.

I let my mind open up and go back, remembering. Pale blue colored eyes. It hit me like a slow roar of thunder, my skin could still feel his touch and my body shivered. My knees felt weak; I sat under the icy cold stream. I could still feel his breath on my neck; the way those eyes looked at me; I was his everything.

I didn't know how long I sat there. I only got up when my skin looked a funny shade of blue. I wrapped myself in a towel and cursed out loud for not remembering to bring my clothes in the bathroom with me. Doubtful that Shane had stayed so long, I just wrapped the towel around myself tighter and walked out into the hallway.

I was still concentrating on those pale blue eyes when I noticed Shane was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide and sparkling.

"I made lunch, if you're hungry." He voice was no more than a whisper.

Standing there like a deer caught in headlights, I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. "Yeah, sure. I'll be right there."

He said nothing more and walked back into the kitchen.

I dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a plain purple tee shirt. I ran a brush through my hair and let it air dry. I put on my slippers and made my way into the kitchen.

Shane was grabbing water bottles for us from the refrigerator when I walked in. Two plates were on the table filled with turkey and lettuce wraps with a delicious looking olive salad on the side. Wow.

"Sorry, I took so long. I really didn't think you were going to stay," I said.

Shane shook his head, chuckled softly and looked up to the ceiling, as if he was searching for some divine intervention. "Is that why you took so long, so I'd leave? All you have to do is ask me to leave, Grace. I just thought after a two hour run on an empty stomach that you'd like some food."

I gave him a smile. "No, a.s.s. I didn't stay in there because of you. Not everything in this world revolves around you, you know. And thanks, I'm starving," I said, sitting down.

He watched me closely as I took my first mouthful of food. Delicious. "Will you be joining me or are you just here to watch me eat? It's pretty good, by the way." I teased, motioning to his untouched plate.

Shane made no move to eat. He just sat and stared intently at my eyes. I stopped chewing and swallowed my food. I should have chewed more, because I immediately started coughing; my eyes tearing.

He jumped up and moved in front of me, "Are you okay? Is it that bad?"

I burst out laughing, and wiped my teary eyes. "Oh G.o.d, Shane. It's delicious. I'm choking because you're sitting there staring at me like the taste of your turkey wrap depends on your life."

Shane laughed too and sat back down.

"Man, you made my eyes tear up," I complained.

Leaning his elbows on the table, he moved closer to me, "Those are such gorgeous eyes, there should never be tears in them," he said. "Your purple shirt is reflecting into them. It's making them look lavender."

I smiled. "No wonder you were staring at me like that. Yeah, I can change my eye color if I wear certain colors, but most of the time they're dull gray."

It was his turn to burst out in laughter, choking, "Grace, there nothing dull about those eyes, and you're right, this s.h.i.t is delicious. You're welcome."

After we finished, I helped him clean up and we made our way into the living room.

He grabbed his coat and his bag and turned to me. "Have anything planned today?"

"No, not really."

"I was just going to play around at the studio, wanna come?"