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Fox Tale Of A Dungeon Boss 5 Chapter 5: Yay Skippy

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So the first thing I had to do was look through the menu. Dammit, I will not be an MC who 'missed a tab' in his menu and completely f.u.c.ks himself over! Also the way to *ahem* not did oughta be in here right?

So the top of the menu consisted of a few tabs kinda like when your computer has multiple open? So it looks like a file folder but digital? These tabs were labeled Profile(which I was currently on and showed stats), Dungeon, Store, Income, and Inventory. I didn't see a "still live" or "cure" tab, so I already felt this wasn't going to be simple.

There was also a tutorial. It was demeaning, rude, and I wished there was a skip b.u.t.ton. I decided to nickname the tutorial "Skippy" cause that's what I wish he did.

So let me just highlight what I was taught:

A) In terms of stats, they cannot be raised like in most of the system novel I read. Those refer to your actual physical capabilities, which are bound in reality(phooey! Why! I want to be OP!)

B) 10 is the average Human being for any stat, while 20 is the theoretical highest limit a mortal being can go. My soul already exceeded that you say? I'm not cheating, definitely not! Plus I'm dying! I mean totally healthy. Still have some pity for this totally healthy guy!

C) Inventory works as a storage s.p.a.ce(duh) and each slot cannot hold an item of higher volume than myself. Luckily I'm like 6'4. Haha!

D) The amount of inventory I have is decided by how large the dungeon grows. The bigger the dungeon, the bigger my storage s.p.a.ce.

E) Store was where I could buy new upgrades for the dungeon, mobs, and items. However this would cost a currency called 'Dungeon Points' or DP, and I started of with 10. Also upgrade myself? I didn't see a "fix body" option though. Not like I need it, ehehe...

F) Income told me how much DP I was making, how, and how to gain more. Basically if I haul corpses in here, Income is the menu with the "absorb corpses" b.u.t.ton.

And that about sums it up. I didn't say what dungeon does? It's just a map of the dungeon, showing my location and the locations of any ent.i.ties within said dungeon.

Also on the left side was a directory, but only Boss Floor is available. I guess I haven't unlocked the others yet.

The right side apparently will have all the things within the dungeon listed to interact with.

Right now, that's just myself, and the Kitsune Shrine. That's what it's called in the menu, so I'm going with it.

Now that you're all caught up, let's bring you up to my next issue: food. I was gonna need some.

What about clothes? Well there was 3 pairs of shirts and one set of pants in my inventory, so I'm okay for now.

All the shirts are identically white, and while similar to a T-Shirt, definitely aren't polyester.

Pants were brown, a few shades darker than my reddish-brown tail and hair. Oh also ears. Yeah I have fox ears outta the top of my head.

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So I've decided! Let's hunt some animals!

~3 hours Later~

"GAAAAAH! HUNTING IS FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE!"

So. I was having some difficulties. It's fine, I got some herbs to eat, and my Identify Skill as a Dungeon Construct allows me to see the information of all the herbs, so I know what's poisonous and what isn't. But my issues with this started early on, when I saw that I had a single weapon in my inventory: a small knife.

~Back Then~

"Oh hey! I'm not completely defenseless! Aw Dungeon, I've misjudged you!"

I sang out to myself and began humming as I pulled out the knife and began fiddling with it, taking a few practice swings.

Suddenly, a notice popped up.

I, figuring pride wouldn't get me anywhere, and being an unsuspecting fool, clicked yes. Then I heard the cheery, ad-campaigning salesman voice of my nemesis: Skippy.

This time. This time I'll let you know. Know what it was like. Know how Skippy the tutorial NPC acted. And then. You'll know. This time. If one day I have the choice to listen to Skippy and get a cure, or just die, I really might die.

First, a cute little animation of an anthropomorphic Fox(Tails is that you?) holding a disproportionately sized knife. In front of him was a monster, essentially just a cute lil green blob with slanted eyes, cartoon fangs, and claws.

At this point, I already felt my masculinity being stripped from me by this humiliating Tutorial sequence.

The cute cartoon animation started playing, showing the Fox "stabbing" the monster. As in he ran forward, his arm swung down like a lever without actually touching the monster a few times, and a spot of red appeared on the monster's green body, and tears fell from its eyes as it ran away.

"..."

The animation then showed the arm swing again, and now the Fox has red on it, and was crying.

I'm not crying! Definitely not! Some kiddy cartoon tutorial can't break my soul stat of 25!

Now the tutorial was showing close up cartoon hands gripping the knife, showing different grips with either a giant red 'X' or large green checkmark.

"...if I could force others into this I'd have a legitimate torture tactic..."

Oh yeah. There's no closing, skipping, or ignoring the tutorial, cause even if I close my eyes, the screens still visible, and it moves to always be in sight. Also how can you block a noise from inside your head?

Wanna know the saddest part? It works. When holding the knife the way it shows me, and doing the swings and stances, I could feel like a small burning was in the back of my head. Once the tutorial finished with a

I automatically went into a fighting stance, even though I'd learned it only 5 minutes prior, as if it was already muscle memory. I gripped the knife with the blade reversed, like any bada.s.s MC should, and took a few swings.

Ultimately, everything I learned was somehow ingrained already to the point of instinct.

Now here's the real issue I wasted 2 1/2 hours over: how do you use a knife to hunt animals?! Also... did Skippy just refer to himself as Skippy? Dungeon, are you f.u.c.king with me!?

You think it's not that bad since it worked? You didn't spend an eternity as a soul just to finally have a body again, and then whilst knowing how precious life is, be forced to waste so much time on something so... so...Skippy...

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Fox Tale Of A Dungeon Boss 5 Chapter 5: Yay Skippy summary

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