Fox Tale Of A Dungeon Boss 26 Chapter 26: A World Of Individuals

"In short, I have nowhere I can go."
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Well. I feel kinda bad for bringing that up now... but you look really forlorn you know!

"...well... you can stay here as long as you need. Alright? Maybe one day, when our territories grown a bit, we'll find a way to get you back to your people."

Her eyes looked at me, and began to shine with unshed tears. She... smiled.

This poor girl, sat there, dirty from days of living like this, and smiled while crying. A mixture of bittersweet and touched affection...

I felt like a rock was being dug through my stomach. Guilt... shame... joy... hope... despair... all like a swirling miasma in the air.

'In the air...'

My eyes rapidly widened and looked around, and then focused back on Luna. She was rubbing away the tears and hadn't noticed my strange act, but everyone else had.

I sensed out the mentality of the other Dungeon Guardians. Pity for Luna, guarding suspicion, fierce loyalty... but nothing about my mood-shift.

Now I know focusing on my feelings is a jacka.s.s thing to do when Luna is obviously suffering more than I can understand, but a suspicion working through my head implied that...

I tried to do something similar to casting intent, cause that's a use of the soul right? Your soul is what creates spell intent, so I gave an intent of a wall to myself... and all those swirling emotions faded away!

I didn't feel like I was drowning in the guilt and despair mixed with hope. Because it wasn't mine!

I looked at Luna. 'So... that's how that feels...? Even just a bit? It's so... heavy. Dark... and painful.'

Luna looked up and smiled. "I'm fine guys. Just got overwhelmed for a sec."

I wasn't sure I believed that tidal wave of emotion could just disappear. The wall came down, and this time my "intent" was to actually feel. I wanted to know how she was suffering, even in her silence...

I don't know why, but it felt like n.o.body should feel so alone. And I... wanted to prove someone understood.

It was still there. All under the surface. But she held it together and gave a brave smile.

My actual concern for anything in this world is developing, as it's hard to get emotionally attached and invested in everything with so much random c.r.a.p... but I think that's when something cleared up for me.

Luna... wasn't a Neko that was cool or interesting based on my fanaticism. She was a person. Not a symbol of my interests either. She wasn't here because of me, not really. She had her own life... and so did everyone else.

You ever have that moment you really think about the idea that everyone around you, every last one, has a life of their own, and their own thoughts and feelings? It hits you hard. You try to hold it all in your head, but there's just too much you don't know, and it's so many people.

But... I could feel it. I could feel her pain, her life, in that purest sense. I could feel through the connected souls all the desires of the Dungeon Residents. Sure it revolves around me quite a bit as they all cared for and served me, but they still had their own lives. They had their own opinions on Luna, on my ideas, and their own ways of working through the life I gave them.

I summoned them through the Dungeon... but they aren't an extension of me. I need to treat them not as mindless mobs, but true people who will be with me my whole life.

Luna looked up at the Fox, who had saved her life, showed her how to get food, and trusted her in his home, a very special home at that. His air seemed somber, yet a quiet feeling filled it. Perhaps the closest emotion Luna could put to the feeling surrounding that Fox as wanderl.u.s.t, or wistfulness.

"Slap!"

Suddenly he had raised his arm, and slapped himself!

Isen shot to his feet. "Milord, why...?"

"It's nothing. Just clearing up some misunderstandings with myself."

I smiled, and looked up at the night sky.

'A world of individuals huh... this is it. This is that world.'

I shook my head.

"Anyways, I plan to go visit the forgotten G.o.d tomorrow. I think I'll take Fenrir as he isn't necessary for the defenses, and his senses might help me a small bit."

(Totally not just wanting to hang out with the guy I strangely feel the most understanding with.)

The 3 Tengu gave their a.s.sent, in their own ways, while Luna big her lip.

Luna spoke up after mulling it over a few seconds, "can I come too? I want to see... they place that your kind fame from. The mountain he sleeps on... probably carries some of your ancient homes."

The place... I came from? I looked to the shrine, at its architecture, and the graceful beauty this place held. I knew instinctively that the setup of the Glade and Shrine followed Kitsune ideas. Such graceful, quiet beauty. Not grand majesty, but understated and beautiful all the same.

For the first time, I felt the desire to better understand the Kitsune who came before me. What kind of race were they? What kind of people were they known for? What did they value?

'Am I... considered a good Kitsune by their standards? Am I... worthy of being like them?'

I know my ideas and realization of the individual lives in this world pushed this thought forward, but for some reason, seeing how much difficulty I'd had with goblins, and how my fighting ability is so basic and reactive, with Isen being able to plant my a.s.s is seconds(I tried practice sparring). I just... felt inadequate. I felt the weight that the legacy of an entire species was on me, that I was the last one, and responsible for how they will be viewed long after me.

'Urgh... this kind of thinking is getting me nowhere...'

I sighed. Then I realized I still hadn't answered Luna, so I quickly said "Yeah sure! You can come along!" Injecting fake cheer into my voice to hide the melancholy of my thoughts.

Luna nodded to my response, and we all grabbed the rough blankets(knitting leaves together in a frame of branches was the best I could do alright! Just be impressed that 3 days of experimenting was enough for me to figure out how to do it!), and set to sleep.

Tomorrow... tomorrow we set off. I'll meet the G.o.d of my race, literally the reason the Dungeon pulled me or even formed. I'll learn more about the people who once were.

'Not just a world of current individuals, but all those of the past huh...?'

I chuckled to myself. 'That's a lotta lives. No wonder the infinite cosmos are somehow filled to the brim with souls.'