Luxury-Gluttony Part 60

"No, no!" said the abbe, "let us flee, Dom Diego, let us flee this serpent tempter."

And the abbe continued to pull the canon by his right sleeve.

"Just a word," said the physician, "and you will see how much this dear abbe deceives you in my place."

"The Abbe Ledoux deceives me in your place! That is too much by far!"

cried Dom Diego. "How, sir, do you dare?"

"I am going to prove to you what I say, canon," said the doctor, earnestly, as he saw Dom Diego make an effort to approach him. The abbe, suspecting the canon's weakness, pulled him violently, and said:

"Recollect, unhappy man, that your mother Eve was lost by listening to the first word of Satan. I adjure you, I command you, to follow me this instant! If you give way, unhappy man, take care! One second more, and it is all up with you. Let us go, let us go!"

"Yes, yes, you are my saviour, take me away from here," stammered the canon, disengaging himself from the grasp of the doctor. "In spite of myself, I am already yielding to the incomprehensible influence of this demon. I recall those Guinea fowl eggs with crab gravy, that trout with frozen Montpellier b.u.t.ter, that celestial roast a la Sardanapalus, and already a dim hope--let us fly, abbe, it is time, let us fly."

"Canon," said the doctor, holding on to the arm of Dom Diego with all his strength, "listen to me, I pray you."

"_Vade retro, Satanas!_" cried Dom Diego, with horror, escaping from the doctor's hands.

And dragged along by the abbe, he was on the threshold of the door, when the physician cried:

"I will cook for you as much as you desire, and as long as I shall live, Dom Diego. Grant me five minutes, and I will prove what I declare. Five minutes, what do you risk?"

At the magic words, "I will cook for you as much as you desire," the canon seemed nailed to the door-sill, and did not advance a step, in spite of the efforts of the abbe, who was too exhausted to struggle against the weight of such a large man.

"You certainly are stupid!" cried the abbe, losing control of himself, "what a fool you are to have any dealings with him!"

"Grant me five minutes, Dom Diego," urged the doctor, "and, if I do not convince you of the reality of my promises, then give free course to your vengeance. I repeat, what do you risk? I only ask a poor five minutes."

"In fact," said the canon, turning to the abbe, "what would I risk?"

"Go, you risk nothing!" cried the abbe, pushed to the extreme by the weakness of the canon; "from this moment you are lost, a scoff and a jeer. Go, go, throw yourself into the jaws of this monster, thrice dull brute that you are!"

These unfortunate words, uttered by the abbe in anger, wounded the pride of Dom Diego to the quick, and he replied, with an offended air:

"At least, I will not be brute enough, Abbe Ledoux, to hesitate between the loss of five minutes, and the ruin of my hopes, as weak as they may be."

"As you please, Dom Diego," replied the abbe, gnawing his nails with anger; "you are a good, greasy dupe to experiment upon. Really, I am ashamed of having pitied you."

"Not such a dupe, Abbe Ledoux, not such a dupe as you may suppose," said the canon, in a self-sufficient tone. "You are going to discover, and the doctor, too, for no doubt he is going to explain himself."

"At once," eagerly replied the doctor, "at once, my lord canon, and very clearly too, very categorically."

"Let us see," said Dom Diego, swelling cheeks with an important air.

"You discover, sir, that I have now powerful reasons for not allowing myself to be satisfied with chimeras, because, as the abbe has said, I would be a good, greasy dupe to permit you to deceive me, after so many cautions."

"Oh, certainly," said the abbe, in his great indignation, "you are a proud man, canon, and quite capable of fighting this son of Beelzebub."

"By which t.i.tle you mean me, dear abbe," said the doctor, with sardonic courtesy. "What an ingrate you are! I come to remind you that you promised to dine with me to-day. Permit my lord canon, also,--he is not a stranger to our subject, as you will see."

"Yes, doctor," said the abbe, "I did make you this promise, but--"

"You will keep it, I do not doubt, and I will remind you, too, that this invitation was extended in consequence of a little discussion relative to the seven capital sins. Again, canon, I am in the question, and you are going to recognise it immediately."

"It is true, doctor," replied the abbe, with a constrained smile, "I would brand, as they deserve to be, the seven capital sins, causes of eternal d.a.m.nation to the miserable beings who abandon themselves to these abominable vices, and in your pa.s.sion for paradoxes, you have dared maintain that--"

"That the seven capital sins have good, in a certain point of view, in a certain measure, and gluttony, particularly, may be made an admirable pa.s.sion."

"Gluttony!" cried the canon, amazed. "Gluttony admirable!"

"Admirable, my dear canon," replied the doctor, "and that, too, in the eyes of the wisest, and most sincerely religious men."

"Gluttony!" repeated the canon, who had listened to the physician with increasing bewilderment, "gluttony!"

"It is even more, my lord canon," said the doctor, solemnly, "because, for those who are to put it in practice, it becomes an imperious duty to humanity."

"A duty to humanity!" repeated Dom Diego.

"And, above all, a question of high civilisation and great policy, my lord canon," added the doctor, with an air so serious, so full of conviction, that he imposed on the canon, who cried:

"Hold, doctor, if you could only demonstrate that--"

"Do you not see that the doctor is making you ridiculous?" said the abbe, shrugging his shoulders. "Ah, I told you the truth, unhappy Dom Diego; you are lost, for ever lost, as soon as you consent to listen to such foolery."

"Canon," the doctor hastened to add, "let us resume our subject, not by reasoning, which, I confess, may appear to you specious, but by facts, by acts, by proofs, and by figures. You are both a glutton and superst.i.tious. You have not the strength to resist your craving for good things; then, your gluttony satisfied, you are afraid of having committed a great sin, which sometimes spoils the pleasure of good cheer, and above all, injures the calmness and regularity of your digestion. Is this not true?"

"It is true," meekly replied the canon, dominated, fascinated by the doctor's words, "it is too true."

"Well, my lord canon, I wish to convince you, I repeat, not by reasoning, however logical it may be, but by visible, palpable facts and by figures, first, that in being a glutton, you accomplish a mission highly philanthropic, a benefit to civilisation and politics; second, that I can, and will be able to make you eat and drink, when you wish, with far more intense enjoyment than the other day."

"And I, I say to you," cried the abbe, appalled by the doctor's a.s.surance, "that if you prove by facts and figures, as you pretend, that to be a glutton is to accomplish a mission to humanity or high civilisation, or is a thing of great political significance, I swear to you to become an adept in this philosophy, as absurd and visionary as it appears."

"And if you prove to me, doctor, that you can open again, and in the future continue to open the doors of the culinary paradise that you opened to me day before yesterday," cried the canon, palpitating with new hope, "if you prove to me that I accomplish a social duty in yielding myself up to gluttony, you will be able to dominate me, I will be your deputy, your slave, your thing."

"Agreed, my lord canon, agreed, Abbe Ledoux, you shall be satisfied. Let us depart."

"Depart?" asked the canon, "where?"

"To my house, Dom Diego."

"To your house," said the canon, with an air of distrust, "to your house?"

"My carriage is below," replied the doctor; "in a quarter of an hour we will arrive there."

"But, doctor," asked the canon, "why go to your house? What are we going to do there?"

"At my house, only, will you be able to find those visible, palpable proofs of what I have declared, for I have come to remind the dear abbe that to-day is the twentieth of November, the day of the investigation to which I have invited him. But the hour advances, gentlemen, let us depart."

"I do not know if I am dreaming or awake," said Dom Diego, "but I throw myself in the gulf with my eyes shut."