Lucky Pehr Part 5

PEHR. It's only nonsense; there's no one here to see us. [Cuckoo calls.]

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

PEHR. What is that rogue calling?

LISA. [Imitates cuckoo.] Cuckoo, cuckoo!

PEHR. What a lot of tiresome formalities there has got to be!

LISA. Can you not enjoy the great, innocent pleasures of Nature?

PEHR. Yes, for a little while--What was that? [Tears off vest.]

LISA. An ant.

PEHR. [Beats right and left with his hat.] Only look at all the horrid pests! Ouch! what was it that stung me? A mosquito!

LISA. Everything here in life is incomplete, Pehr. Remember that, and take the bad with the good.

PEHR. Deuce take the bad! I want the good. [Beats at the air.] Now I'm tired of the for est. Surely one cannot play all one's life! I yearn for activity, and want to be among people. Tell me, Lisa--you, who are such a wise little creature, what do people value most? For that I shall procure for myself.

LISA. Pehr, before I answer you, listen to a sensible word! People will cause you just as much annoyance as the mosquitoes do, but they will not give you the delight to be found in Nature's perennial youth.

PEHR. Nature!--Oh, yes, it is very pretty when seen from a church tower, but it becomes rather monotonous near to. Doesn't everything stand still? Don't the trees stand in the selfsame places where they stood fifty years ago, and won't they be standing there fifty years hence? My eyes are already weary of _this_ splendor! I want movement and noise, and if the people are like mosquitoes, it will be so much easier to keep them at a distance than this company. [Beats about his head with his hat.]

LISA. You'll see, no doubt, you'll see! Experience will teach you better than my word.

PEHR. And now, Lisa, what do people value most in a person?

LISA. I'm ashamed to say it.

PEHR. You must tell me!

LISA. Gold.

PEHR. Gold? But that is something outside the person which does not belong to his being.

LISA. Yes, that is known; but it is so nevertheless.

PEHR. What extraordinary qualities does gold possess?

LISA. All! It is good for everything--and nothing. It gives all that earth has to offer; in itself it is the most perfect of all the earth's products which rust cannot spot--but which can put rust-spots into souls.

PEHR. Well, then! Will you follow me, Lisa?

LISA. I will always follow you--at a distance.

PEHR. At a distance! and why not near me? Lisa, now I shall put my arm around your waist again. [Lisa tears herself away; bird sings.] Why do you run away?

LISA. Ask the bird!

PEHR. I can't understand what he says; you must tell me.

LISA. [Embarra.s.sed.] No, I cannot!

PEHR. Cannot? What is it?

LISA. He is not singing for us now. He sings to his sweetheart, so you must know what he is saying.

PEHR. How should I know that!

LISA. He says like this: [Running off] "I love you, I love you!"

PEHR. Stay! Shall you run away from me? Lisa! Lisa! She's gone! Very well then! Come hither palace and plates and wines and horses and chariots and gold--gold!

SCENE TWO.

A luxurious Banquet Hall. Servants bring on a table, with food and wines; other servants carry in a chest containing gold; others, again, a table covered with plates, vases, candle-sticks, etc.--all of gold.

PEHR. [Walks about and looks around.] So this is the rich man's abode! Well, it looks rather promising. Slaves! Give me my best holiday-coat--but it must be of gold. [Servants hand him a gold-cloth coat.] A chair! [They place a gold chair at table.] Now, Pehr, you shall enjoy life! and that is your right. Haven't you been up mornings at four o'clock; and rung for early Ma.s.s; haven't you swept the church on Fridays and scoured the stairs on Sat.u.r.days; haven't you eaten bread and herring three hundred and sixty-five days in the year and rinsed them down with cold water; haven't you slept on pease-bolt which was so badly threshed that you could feel the pease in your knee-joints? Oh, yes, you have--therefore enjoy yourself! [Wants to sit at table.]

BUTLER. [With staff in hand.] Pardon, Your Grace! The table is not laid.

PEHR. Isn't it?

BUTLER. In a couple of hours the roasts will be ready.

PEHR. I don't want any roasts.

BUTLER. [Intercepts Pehr with staff.] It can never be that one sits down at an unlaid table!

PEHR. Who forbids me in my own house?

BUTLER. Etiquette, Your Grace, does not under any circ.u.mstances permit it.

PEHR. Etiquette! What kind of torment is that?

BUTLER. Your Grace, listen to an old man's word! He who in Your Grace's position violates the rules of etiquette is lost.

PEHR. [Frightened.] What a harsh gentleman! I shall have to submit, although I'm beastly hungry--But, wait! Is there nothing that will move that gentleman? I have heard that gold--[Goes over to chest and takes out a handful of gold coins.] Would not--

BUTLER. Your Grace! I stand above the servants; above me stands Your Grace, but above us all stands--Conventionality. Its laws are perpetual, for they have their foundation both in common sense and in what we call historical hypotheses.

PEHR. And the historical hypotheses--cannot they be reached with gold?

BUTLER. They are non-corruptible--in this instance!

PEHR. What's the good of all my wealth if I cannot eat my fill when I'm hungry? I am worse off than the poorest bellringer.