L.P.M. : The End of The Great War Part 22

"Yes," replied Lawrence, "I did. They take no chances with the 'Big Noise.'"

"Don't joke, Lawrence. This is serious; very serious. Did you notice those two-wheeled wagons that are so carefully covered with canvas just behind each of the mortars?"

"No, to tell you the truth, I did not. They have so many travelling soup wagons and ice plants that I don't pay any attention to those things any more."

"Well, Lawrence, I've got to know what they are tonight in order that I may be prepared; otherwise we may find ourselves in a very serious situation, and what is much more important, my whole life's work may be absolutely lost."

"Now, since you put it that way," said Lawrence with a broad grin, "I will step out and in my most polite Deutsch inquire."

"They will not let you get within a block of them. Do you think it will be possible to persuade one of the German servants to find out from the soldiers? I would pay any price."

"Well, I will dress myself like the cook and go out and flirt with one of the soldiers for $2. I'm a little badly off for money myself just about this time."

"Lawrence, you must stop joking. I tell you, something must be done."

"Leave me think, leave me think," said the irrepressible.

"_Donnerwetter_, I have it! What time does the Hohenzollern Glee Club arrive?"

"At nine o'clock."

"And you come on immediately after the 'First Part,' succeeding which I suppose Lohengrin will sing his Duck Ditty, while the Boy Scout, dressed as Uncle Tom's Cabin, after biting the triggers off all the guns, and pulling his wig well down over his eyes"--imitating the action--"will sally forth into the limpid limelights, and after he has been shot once in the face by a 16-inch howitzer and has been played upon in the rear by a battery of machine guns, he will limp on with the regular limp of the old Virginia servant and die at your feet, but not until I have whispered their secret into the heel of your boot."

Edestone had known Lawrence long enough to understand that all of this nonsense meant that his really bright mind was working, and that he had some definite plan in view. The best way to handle him, he had found out, was to let his exuberance of spirit have free swing, so he replied in the same melodramatic manner: "Good, my faithful District Messenger Boy. Now in what way can I a.s.sist you in your wonderful scheme?"

"Leave all to me, Lord Reginald Bolingbroke, and before the clock on yon 'back drop' strikes eight bells, you will know what is hidden beneath these veils of mystery."

"I can depend upon you," Edestone eyed him searchingly, "and no mistake?"

"On the life of me mother who lies dead beneath the sacred soil of dear old Idaho!" With a wave of an imaginary sword, and jumping astride an imaginary stick horse, he saluted and galloped from the room, singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary."

"I wonder what that dare-devil is up to," thought Edestone.

Nevertheless he believed that Lawrence would accomplish his purpose.

Presently his attention was attracted by the beams of a searchlight crossing the window, and looking out he saw those great white arms stretching up from every part of the city.

"They expect me to show my teeth tonight," he said.

The distant tapping of drums showed that troops were moving in all parts of Berlin, and they were beginning to form in the streets below.

It was easy to see by which route the Emperor was coming, or at least by which route he wished the people to think he was going to arrive.

Edestone dressed hurriedly, although James seemed to think that something extra should be done.

"Beg pardon, sir," he pleaded in an accent which would have meant imprisonment for him if heard on the streets outside, "but these here barbarians likes a bit of colour, sir. I understands as how the Emperor calls the Amba.s.sador the 'undertaker,' sir, and it's all on account, sir, of his not a-having any lace on his coat, sir. Don't you think you might wear some of your Colonial Society medals and decorations, sir?"

and he tried hard to hide his contempt for these American signs of alleged aristocracy. "There is some as is bright in colour, sir, and he wouldn't know, sir, but as how you is a duke in America, sir."

"None of that nonsense, James, unless," he said with a quizzical look, "you give me the copy of the Golden Fleece, which shows that I am a member in good standing of the South Chicago Aero Club."

"Not that one, sir," protested James, "if you will pardon me, sir, I think it is a bit large, sir, for the waistcoat opening, sir. I think, sir, that the Order of the Cincinnati is very neat, sir. It is very much like one of the Greek Orders, I don't recall which, sir, but Lord Knott wore it once, I recall, sir, when the King of Greece was in London, sir."

"No, James," Edestone shook his head. "My father was a blacksmith, and I would not like to deceive the Emperor."

"How you do like your little joke, sir," said James, putting his hand to his mouth. "Won't you just use that b.u.t.ton, sir, instead of a b.u.t.tonhole? It ain't so frivolous like, sir, begging your pardon, sir."

"Oh well, yes; just to keep you quiet."

"Thank you, sir."

And Edestone left the room.

CHAPTER XXIV

DER KAISER

Downstairs, the household was in a state of suppressed excitement. The German men servants, without the usual protection of a brilliant uniform, looked as if they would like to drop everything and hide themselves in the coal cellar. The maids were almost on the verge of tears. Mrs. Jones, with all the jewelry on that she possessed, was moving about with a flushed face seeing that everything was in order.

"For Heaven's sake, hurry up, Jack," she said. "We must have a short dinner and be ready when the Emperor arrives. As for myself, I never can touch anything for hours before I meet him. He scares me almost out of my wits."

Her husband was walking up and down with the expression of a man who is the speaker of the evening, watching the waiters serving coffee and pa.s.sing cigars. The only persons who seemed perfectly at their ease were Lawrence and his Bowery boy valet, Fred, who were holding a very serious conversation in the corner of the hall.

Dinner, it must be confessed, was very like the gathering of the distant relatives the night before the funeral of the rich old maid of the family. Lawrence's jokes were either not heard or were received with sad-eyed contortions of the face that were less like a smile than the premonition of a sneeze. The strain was so great that as they were having their coffee a sudden clatter in the street came as an immense relief.

The air was instantly filled with the subdued noise of the different members of the household taking their various places. The Acting Amba.s.sador and Mrs. Jones went out of the dining-room and took a position near the door of the large reception room, leaving Edestone and Lawrence alone. They had previously explained to Edestone what he must do when they notified him that it was time for him to come in and be presented.

"Lawrence," he said when the servants had all gone, "won't you tell me what you have decided on? I am rather curious to know your plan."

Lawrence, who had grown quite serious for him, came around from his place and lighting a cigarette sat down close to him.

"You know Prince Fritz Funk?" he leaned over to whisper.

"Of course," said Edestone.

"Well," continued Lawrence, "I'm supposed to look something like him. I am just his height. He has, as you know, certain striking mannerisms, which when he is drinking are accentuated. I have all last year been amusing the officers at the clubs by giving imitations of him, and they do say I am better than he is himself.

"Now all the soldiers stationed in and about Berlin know Fritzie's peculiarities, so I propose to impersonate him tonight while he is in here drinking the Amba.s.sador's champagne. My man is to get his helmet, '_avec le grand panache_,' and his long gray-blue military cape, and with my riding boots and spurs and a sword, I shall be able to fool those b.o.o.bs out there; that is, if they don't throw on me one of those d.a.m.ned spot lights. If they do, G-o-o-d-n-i-g-h-t! Then I can only say that I am doing it on a bet. But I hardly think that would save me in these times. The least I could expect would be a term in prison for insulting the uniform. I will go down in history as 'Little Boy Blue up in the air.'"

"It's a big risk you're taking," frowned Edestone, "and were there any other way I would not allow you to do this. But if you do succeed, you will go down in history in a way you could never dream. Lawrence, if you get back safely with this information, I will make you a present of $1,000,000."

Lawrence looked at his friend as if he thought that he had lost his mind, but when he saw the look of determination on Edestone's strong face, which seemed to have aged within the hour, and when he felt the grip of his powerful hand, he knew that he meant every word he said.

"By G.o.d, old man," he said with a little break in his voice, "you should be the Emperor instead of his nibs out there."

"I may be yet," said Edestone smiling, and a look came on his face that Lawrence had never seen there before.

The servants were moving quietly about the room, but it was plain to see that they felt the presence of the Lord's Anointed. Through the house could be heard the clatter of many swords and the tramping of booted heels along the marble hall. It sent a thrill through Edestone that he would have had difficulty to explain. It was like the echo of some far distant past seeming to recall to life a sleeping spirit, which with great exultation was throwing off the fetters of its long slumbers. He seemed to be impelled by an almost irresistible force to rush into their midst and take his rightful position at their head.