Loving Hart Part 6

Making love with Spencer opened up a whole new world to me, and to him too. After our b.a.l.l.s out insane middle of the night s.e.x marathon, we'd curled up in each other's arms, totally sated. I fell asleep with the taste of him on my tongue, the marks of his pa.s.sion all over my body and the product of his release deep inside of me. I know Spencer in a totally new way these days, and I feel his ownership of me to my core. I started out the weekend just plain Delilah, but I was ending it Spencer's Spencer's Delilah, and it felt d.a.m.n good. Delilah, and it felt d.a.m.n good.

When I heard my cell phone ping, I reached out to the bedside table to grab it. I smiled when I saw that it was a text from Dominique.

Dominique: You awake?

Me: Just.

Dominique: Well? How was the weekend?

Me: Amazing.

Dominique: How was the s.e.x, scale of 1-10?

Me: 52 Dominique: Holy s.h.i.t! Really?

Me: 52 is SERIOUSLY under stating it. I'm so wild for him I almost can't explain it. I've had more o.r.g.a.s.ms in the last two days than I thought I'd have this whole month. He's amazing.

Dominique: Ew. I love you, love him, but ew. I so don't see him that way. Still, I'm glad one of us got a good first time. Mine was a 2. Ha ha.

Not for the first time, I wondered about Dominique's s.e.xuality. I asked her once when we were in ninth grade if she liked girls. She was so p.i.s.sed off I thought she was going to smack me. She hooked up with a lot of guys after that, but it always felt forced to me. I wish that if she were gay, she'd just tell me already.

Me: I'm glad you don't see him that way. He's mine. But you need to find someone worthy! You haven't had s.e.x since then. Stop kissing frogs and then get down to it.

Dominique: You're right, he's totally yours. Always has been. Not all of us get a Spencer, Delilah. You're just lucky.

Me: Someday you'll be lucky too. Just wait!

Dominique: Hope so. Be bad, see you later, night. Give Spence a hug for me. Love ya!

Me: Love you too.

From behind me, I felt Spencer shift. "Fifty-two huh? d.a.m.n, Delilah. You know how to make a guy happy."

Grabbing a pillow, I turned and thumped him with it. "You little sneak! You were spying on me."

He laughed as he pulled me into his arms. "I was going to tell you I was awake, but once she asked for a rating I figured I'd best let you give the score. Not my fault the score made me hard as h.e.l.l and desperate to come inside of you again."

Just.

Like.

That.

That's all it took. I groaned, wiggling against him. He growled in my ear as he lifted my leg and entered me gently from behind. He filled me slowly, giving me time to stretch and accommodate him. I shivered at the sensation, completely addicted to the feeling of being stretched and filled with him, connected on every level. I loved it more than anything I'd ever felt before in my life, hands down. Nothing else even came close.

The rest of our weekend pa.s.sed in a haze of wild and intense love making, on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, on the floor, in the kitchen and against the living room wall. There was nowhere that he wouldn't take me, no place that I didn't want to be taken.

He dropped me off at my apartment later that night filled with his come after an insane session on the hood of his car. Like I said, there was nowhere that he wouldn't take me, and just like every other time, I loved him with a smile on my face and wonder in my heart.

We met every night for the next thirty days. Every night, even when I had my period and we couldn't do anything. He wanted me sleeping in his bed even then, and I did it without hesitation. Those four days were really the only time that I got real sleep during the thirty days. Otherwise, we used every hour, every moment, to explore each other. We were hot, wild and insatiable, and we took each other like maniacs.

As wild as we are together, as in love with him as I am, I know he's really going to let me have it tonight because the month is up. I know it, and I'm not going to fight him. We both knew there was a time limit on this, and it's a large part of the reason we've f.u.c.ked like rabbits. This time together needs to provide us with memories when we can't be anymore.

Dominique says that I'm crazy, and she wants me to put my foot down and fight for Spencer now, tell our brothers to chill out, but I just know that isn't the way to go. In my heart, I know that Spencer and I will wind up together. But the truth is we just aren't there yet. I'm twenty and still in college. He's twenty-four and he's best friends with my two crazy over protective brothers. Neither of us is ready to let them know what's going on between us. When it comes right down to it, the timing isn't right. Not yet.

I know it sounds crazy to let the man I love go, but I know, deep in my soul, that holding him to me now could break us up later, and I'm in it for the long haul with him. It would break him to have my brothers angry with him, and they would be if we came out as a couple right now. That's the last thing that Spencer needs.

I also don't think he's ready to move forward. For all his joking and laughs, Spencer carries something painful inside of him. Until he can deal with whatever it is that haunts him, he can't take the plunge with me. Whatever it is that tortures him, it's the one place he's never allowed me to go with him, so I know it's bad. I also know that if I started pushing him for answers, it would hurt him. Spencer never lies to me, and he'd tell me the truth, no matter what it cost him. I couldn't live with that, so I always tread carefully around it. Even when we were kids, I knew not to push him for an explanation for why he hurt. When he's ready, he'll let me in. I believe that with all of my heart. This being our last night together hurts me, and I know it hurts him too. We just aren't there yet, and pretending that we are would do more harm than good.

I went all out for tonight, buying the s.e.xiest lingerie I could lay my hands on. I'm buffed and polished, waxed, plucked, and pampered from head to toe, and I even took a nap because I know that neither of us would want to waste a minute tonight.

He picked me up at my apartment just after six, and I climbed into his Porsche Panamera with a smile. Instead of immediately driving away, he pulled me to him and claimed my mouth in a kiss. Our tongues dueled in the rhythm we both love, and I moaned into his mouth as he started to pull away.

"I've been hard for you for hours. The second we get home, I'm dropping you on my c.o.c.k and riding the f.u.c.k out of you Delilah. I've never needed you as bad as I do now baby."

I smiled, even as my mind whirled and my heart constricted painfully in my chest. He's never been so desperate because he knows this is it, at least for a while. I know we need to hold to the agreement, but even I don't know how we'll survive it. Not with how close we are even without all the amazing s.e.x.

The car pulled into the waning daylight, and I stared out the window as we got onto the freeway. Before too long we were pulling into his driveway, and I jumped out of the car without waiting for him to open the door for me. Our eyes connected over the roof of the car, and staring at him I said one word. "Hurry!"

We ran like two crazy idiots to his front door. He had it open in seconds, and the two of us were stripping our clothes off before the door was fully closed behind us. I got my shirt and my bra off. After he took his shirt off, he pulled his zipper down and took his c.o.c.k out. My mouth watered when I saw it and I whimpered. Bunching my skirt up to my waist, he lifted me up against him, growling at me to wrap my legs around his waist. I complied with a moan as he pushed my panties to the side and speared me with one hard thrust.

As incredibly muscular as he is, I sometimes forget how much strength he possesses. I gave thanks for it right then as he effortlessly lifted me up and down on his rigid length as I cried out with pleasure. The slapping sounds we created as we made love made me wetter than ever, and I leaned forward to bite his lower lip as he continued lifting and then dropping me onto him. I was in the vortex, crazy for the feeling of him pummeling me. He was lodged so deep that each time he dropped me down onto his c.o.c.k I swear I could feel him in my throat.

"f.u.c.king love you on my d.i.c.k, Delilah. Love pounding your sweet heat. Love feeling your cream all over me. Love your taste. Love everything that makes you, you. I can't be gentle tonight baby. Going to f.u.c.k you everywhere, fill you up with come. If I do it right, neither of us is going to be walking tomorrow."

I screamed out as he f.u.c.ked me harder than he ever had before, his usual reserves giving way to a base carnal instinct that superseded any thoughts of being gentle. It took me to a place I hadn't gone to yet. It felt amazing as he stretched me, and it bordered on real pain. In other words, it was perfect. I clenched around him like a fist, and he lifted me and dropped me faster, hitting something inside of me with each thrust that was making me lose my breath and my mind as he kept to that rhythm. I screamed when my o.r.g.a.s.m arrived, hitting me so hard that my vision started to get blurry and I almost pa.s.sed out. "Unh. Unh. Unh. SPENCER!"

I was wild, incoherent, brought down to the most primal s.e.xual level possible. Nothing existed but the two of us, and I was hammered by sensation. He was so perfect for me that it hurt to think about it too much. This love was huge, bigger than anything, and all encompa.s.sing. There was no part of me that wasn't completely his, no little sliver that wasn't open to his possession. I wanted him to have everything, and I gave it to him as a gift. The fact that he gave me all of himself right back gave me a feeling of love that I can't describe.

His thrusts somehow picked up more speed, hitting the spot inside of me at fever pitch. I wondered if we would combust, if we could survive the ride. I definitely felt like steam was coming off us. "I'm going to fill you with come baby. You ready?"

I couldn't talk so I just nodded my agreement as I buried my face in his neck, biting down hard on his shoulder as he came with an animalistic wail, filling me in deep and hot with his come. The feeling was so intense that it pulled me straight into another o.r.g.a.s.m that threatened to take my sanity with it.

It never got any less intense over the course of the hours that followed. We took each other again, and again, and again, and again. Spencer only allowed us to do missionary and me on top, and I knew he did that so that he could watch me the entire time. I didn't mind one bit. I needed to watch him too.

I ached in the best way as he dropped me off back at my apartment the following morning. The mood in the car was heavy, both of us wishing that things were different. When he parked, he started to speak, but I turned to him and brushed his cheek with my hand.

"Before you say anything, I have some things I want to say to you. The first thing I want to say is thank you. I love you Spencer, more than anyone in the world. The things we've shared and done together in the last thirty days only made me love you more. This was a month out of time, and I love that you gave me this. I know you Spence, in some ways better than I know myself. Thank you for staying open this month, for not pushing me away during the times you got scared. I'm not stupid, and I know things are going to be different now as we adjust, but I also know that we're closer than we were thirty days ago. I'm always safe when I'm with you, always the best version of myself. You make me happy Spencer, and I'll always love you for sharing this with me."

My heart broke for him, for both of us really, when I saw a lone tear escape from his eye. I leaned forward and kissed it away, swallowing hard to hold in my own tears. We sat in silence for a minute, forehead to forehead while he pulled himself together.

"You don't ever need to thank me. You're the one that gave me the gift, and you don't even know it. I love your family Delilah, and I give thanks for them every day. But I can't deny that I've always loved you best, and I always will. You're the only person in my entire life that ever chose me. Not because we had f.u.c.ked up parents and we needed each other to survive, not because we went to the same school, not even because of proximity. You chose me before you knew anything about me. You see what's f.u.c.ked up in me, and you love me in spite of that, and I know for d.a.m.n sure you're the only girl I'm ever going to love. I know I have to let you go now, need to let you spread your wings, but I'm always here baby. I'd crawl through a four-alarm fire to get to you Delilah, and I wouldn't care if I got burned. You only ever need to tell me you need me and I'm there. Truth is, a lot of times I'm going to be there whether you indicate you need me to be or not. I'm going to try my hardest to not be an overbearing a.s.s, but I can't promise."

I chuckled at that. At least he knew his faults. "To me, nothing is f.u.c.ked up in you, Spencer. You're perfect because you were made for me. I love you so much, and I'll try hard not to be a jealous shrew for the next two years.

That pulled him up short, and he swallowed hard. "Delilah... no one holds a candle to you. They didn't before and they sure as s.h.i.t can't ever hope to now that I know what it's like to feel. They're just bodies. It isn't real because it isn't you. We just have to get through these two years. Once you've graduated, I'm coming for you. No matter what happens between now and then, I will always belong to you baby."

I hated the thought of him touching other women, and even more I hated the idea of him being inside of them. It helped to know that it isn't the same for him when he was with other women. They might have him for a minute, but they'll never HAVE him. He's mine.

I kissed him, pouring all of my love into it. When I pulled back, I smiled. "I didn't lie when I said I was yours either. Always."

With that, I got out of the car and ran inside to collapse on my couch and cry.

Chapter Eleven: Spencer

Everything is duller, less interesting, boring. I took the few days I had before Damien came home to get my s.h.i.t together. I suppose I did a pa.s.sable job on the outside, but inside, I missed her terribly. I missed sleeping with her, I missed holding her, missed her scent, her taste, her smile, the sound she makes when she's thinking something funny, the mess she creates when she cooks, and the happiness she leaves a trail of anywhere she goes. I missed holding her hand and staring into her eyes the most.

It doesn't change the fact that she's twenty years old. If she was twenty-one... maybe maybe Dante and Damien would keep their s.h.i.t in check. But there is no way they would do so now. I'm going to have to reel it in, and the idea of the years that stretch out before me until I can make a move makes me ill. A lot can happen in two years. I can only pray that she won't find anyone that will take her away from me forever. I know I'm easily replaceable, but Delilah is in a cla.s.s all of her own in my heart. No one will draw me in like she does, and I know that with a deep down certainty. Dante and Damien would keep their s.h.i.t in check. But there is no way they would do so now. I'm going to have to reel it in, and the idea of the years that stretch out before me until I can make a move makes me ill. A lot can happen in two years. I can only pray that she won't find anyone that will take her away from me forever. I know I'm easily replaceable, but Delilah is in a cla.s.s all of her own in my heart. No one will draw me in like she does, and I know that with a deep down certainty.

Once Damien was back for a few weeks, I couldn't put it off any longer, and I went out at a bar with Damien and Dante. We were all there on the prowl, and I knew that I'd be going home with someone. I was anxious just to do it already, to get it over with. I ruled every blonde on Earth out before I even walked in. I can't replace her, and I'm not going to try.

After about an hour, I met a woman who was the physical opposite of Delilah, and it relaxed me enough that I was able to go home with her. I spent the rest of the night f.u.c.king her in the most lackl.u.s.ter performance of my life. I struggled to come, and wound up using the memory of Delilah sucking my c.o.c.k to get off. The only thing that saved me from coming off like a total b.a.s.t.a.r.d was that I made sure that the girl came multiple times. I left her sated and happy when I went home. I ran into the bathroom and showered as I struggled not to scream.

Two more years. I hoped I could survive.

We made it through the first few months, and it was harder than I could ever possibly have imagined. Once I knew what it felt like to have her where she belonged, continuing without her by my side threatened to destroy me at times. The saving grace in all of it was that I knew it was very hard on her as well. If she didn't feel the same, it would have gutted me. A few weeks after we stopped, I could see how fragile she was and it almost killed me. I went to her and told her I'd tell Damien and Dante, consequences be d.a.m.ned, but she put her foot down and stood strong. She's gotten better since then, and it's the only thing that keeps me sane.

Damien's still f.u.c.king everything that walks, but I'd gotten sneaky about the fact that I'm not. If he sees me leaving the club with someone, he a.s.sumes I'm taking them home to f.u.c.k. I'm not a monk, and I am f.u.c.king some of them, but I'm down to maybe two of those meaningless trysts a month at most. After years of anything-goes f.u.c.king, the irony that I find it d.a.m.n hard to come when I'm completely disengaged from the person I'm having s.e.x with doesn't escape me. My fist is my permanent sidekick, and it's something I will endure until I can have Delilah back.

It's Christmas Eve, and I'm looking forward to spending more time tomorrow with the family... Delilah in particular. I bought her a ring that will match the diamond heart necklace. I saw Damien raise an eyebrow at me when he saw it, but he didn't say anything so I stayed silent. I'm just d.a.m.n lucky that he didn't look close enough to realize that it was inscribed with the words Delilah and I have always said to each other. I love you more than anything, always. I love you more than anything, always. I'd been prepared to explain it, but was just as happy not to. I'd been prepared to explain it, but was just as happy not to.

We'd eaten Christmas Eve dinner together as a family, and I had only just gotten home to settle in for the night. I'd just started some microwave popcorn when I heard my doorbell ring. When I opened the door, and saw Delilah standing before me wearing a drop dead s.e.xy red dress and a Santa hat, I thought I was dreaming.

"Angel?"

She'd caught me off guard and she loved it. Putting her finger on my chest, she pushed me into the house so that she could enter. After turning and locking the door, she turned to face me again.

"I've got a gift for you to open when we're all together in the morning, but I wanted you to have your real gift tonight."

Every ounce of blood in my body pooled in my c.o.c.k as she took off the Santa hat and tossed it at me before grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling it over her head. She stood before me like the G.o.ddess that she is, wearing only my heart necklace, a matching red bra and thong set and a pair of black thigh highs.

Giving thanks to my lucky stars, I grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hall to my bedroom. "Oh baby... you're the best gift EVER."

I'd missed the ability to hold and kiss her the most, and as soon as we got to my room I sat on the bed and pulled her onto my lap so that we could kiss. Kissing her again was even better than I remembered, and I loved that I could feel that the whole thing was as intense for her as it is for me.

We clung together for countless minutes, completely lost in the taste of each other. I reveled in the heat and warmth of her mouth, the smooth glide of her tongue against mine, the taste that is hers, and hers alone.

I groaned into her mouth when she fisted her hands in my hair and started wiggling on top of me. "I've missed having you like this so much," she whispered. "I need you inside me now now."

She yanked down my flannel lounge pants just enough to get my hard c.o.c.k out, and I groaned when I felt her hands start running up my shaft over and over again, in tandem.

Leaning against my forehead, she touched her tongue to my lips. "Baby, come inside."

I didn't need to be asked twice. Lifting her up, I pushed her panties aside and then rubbed the tip of my c.o.c.k against the ridiculously wet and hot entrance to her p.u.s.s.y. I groaned at how ready she was, thanking my lucky stars that she was as hot for this as I was. Holding my shaft in my hand, I looked her in the eyes as I rasped, "Slide down on this and ride, Delilah. I'm all yours."

It felt so G.o.dd.a.m.n good when she started sliding me into her wet heat that I'm pretty sure my eyes started to cross. Throwing my head back, I groaned. "It feels so f.u.c.king good. You're so d.a.m.n tiny that I have to really work to get it all in."

With a breathy little moan, she shook her head. "It's not me, it's you. I asked around you know. What you've got isn't average or normal."

Leave it to Delilah to make me laugh laugh, seriously f.u.c.king laugh, during s.e.x. "What are you saying here, that I'm a freak?"

She laughed back at me as she nodded. "Yes, but I love it. I'm a lucky girl." but I love it. I'm a lucky girl."

The way she clenched around me as she said it made my heart seize up in my chest, and I jerked inside of her. The gush of cream I felt her release on my d.i.c.k told me that what we were doing felt just as amazing to her, and I held onto her hips as I started moving her up and down with increased speed.

My bedroom was filled with the sounds of us furiously loving each other, and it was an insane turn on. "f.u.c.k! I'm not going to last long angel."

She nodded at me as she picked up speed. "I'm not either."

The way her p.u.s.s.y was fluttering around me spoke the truth of that statement, as well as the flush that had spread from her chest into her cheeks. Leaning back just so, she gripped my thighs as she moved even faster and I watched in wonder as she started coming apart on top of me. "Yes! Oh G.o.d, yes Spencer! Unh!"

I couldn't hold out against the pressure she was putting on my c.o.c.k, and I came with a loud shout at the exact moment she cried out that was coming.

Nothing in my life had ever felt so perfectly f.u.c.king right.

We made love three more times during the night, alternately cuddling and talking. I gave her everything I had, and she reciprocated in kind. I slept better than I had in months with her curled around me.

In the morning, we got up while it was still dark out and made love again. Afterwards, I went to her car, and got her overnight bag so that she could get ready for Christmas breakfast at Dante's. We showered together, and then I got to watch her get ready to go. I loved sharing s.p.a.ce with her, loved being part of her daily routine.

When she was finished, I grabbed her overnight bag from the bed to take it back to the car. Tut-tutting, she came and laid her hand on my chest. "Christmas isn't over baby. I'm staying tonight too, if that's okay?"

Was it okay? It was f.u.c.king better than okay. "h.e.l.l yes angel! Now that's that's a f.u.c.king gift." a f.u.c.king gift."

We drove together to Dante's, telling everyone that she'd come to my house this morning so that we could go together. No one even raised an eyebrow. It's expected that we'll always have a very close relationship. The only thing that would start s.h.i.t at this point would be if everyone figured out just how how close close we are these days. we are these days.

Almost the entire family was there when we arrived. We were just waiting on Damien, so we all sat in the living room together to talk. Dante turned on the twenty-four hours of 'A Christmas Story' marathon, and we all got sucked into watching while we waited. It's been a family Christmas tradition for many years.

Damien came running in about twenty minutes later. "Sorry! I got a call from Mike this morning about the Sherman Oaks build being unsecured. We had to do a quick inventory to make sure that nothing was missing." Looking at Dante and Aunt Sandra, he held up his hand. "Don't worry, everything was there. We think it was some kids just f.u.c.king around getting drunk."

We gathered around the family table to eat Christmas breakfast, and when we were finished we headed to the tree to start opening gifts while Aunt Sandra took pictures like a paparazzo. After spending the beginning part of our lives never getting Christmas or birthday gifts, we tend to go all out.

Aunt Sandra always buys us all an obscene amount of clothes and socks and underwear. "This is what normal parents would have done," she always says, "and now that I'm around, you get normal." We all had a blast going through the candy and toiletry filled Christmas stockings that she'd put together for us, too.

Dante gave us all an itinerary for a family trip to Hawaii in the spring, which made the girls go wild with joy. Dominique bought Dante, Damien and me an XBOX 360 each, with a bunch of games, along with gold memberships to play with each other online, while she gave Aunt Sandra and Delilah each the newest iPhone, as well as a diamond bracelet for each of them.

Damien had gotten us all fun presents, just like he always does. His first gift was for the group; a weekend in New York City this coming February, which included tickets to see a Broadway show and Dane Cook at Madison Square Garden. He'd also gotten us all our own individual funny gifts. For me, the entire Looney Toons collection on DVD, for Delilah a light bright and a collection of Rom Com DVDs, for Dominique rock em' sock em' robots and a karaoke machine, for Aunt Sandra an entire collection of Sat.u.r.day Night Live DVDs and for Dante a bunch of comedy CDs.