Louisa May Alcott : Her Life, Letters, and Journals Part 4

Father read to us in dear Pilgrim's Progress. Mr. L. was in Boston, and we were glad. In the eve father and mother and Anna and I had a long talk. I was very unhappy, and we all cried. Anna and I cried in bed, and I prayed G.o.d to keep us all together.

[Little Lu began early to feel the family cares and peculiar trials.--L. M. A.]

I liked the verses Christian sung and will put them in:--

"This place has been our second stage, Here we have heard and seen Those good things that from age to age To others hid have been.

"They move me for to watch and pray, To strive to be sincere, To take my cross up day by day, And serve the Lord with fear."

[The appropriateness of the song at this time was much greater than the child saw. She never forgot this experience, and her little cross began to grow heavier from this hour.--L. M. A.]

CONCORD, _Sunday_.--We all went into the woods to get moss for the _arbor_ Father is making for _Mr. Emerson_. I miss Anna so much. I made two verses for her:--

TO ANNA.

Sister, dear, when you are lonely, Longing for your distant home, And the images of loved ones Warmly to your heart shall come, Then, mid tender thoughts and fancies, Let one fond voice say to thee, "Ever when your heart is heavy, Anna, dear, then think of me."

Think how we two have together Journeyed onward day by day, Joys and sorrows ever sharing, While the swift years roll away.

Then may all the sunny hours Of our youth rise up to thee, And when your heart is light and happy, Anna, dear, then think of me.

[Poetry began to flow about this time in a thin but copious stream.--L. M. A.]

_Wednesday._--Read Martin Luther. A long letter from Anna. She sends me a picture of Jenny Lind, the great singer. She must be a happy girl. I should like to be famous as she is. Anna is very happy; and I don't miss her as much as I shall by and by in the winter.

I wrote in my Imagination Book, and enjoyed it very much. Life is pleasanter than it used to be, and I don't care about dying any more. Had a splendid run, and got a box of cones to burn. Sat and heard the pines sing a long time. Read Miss Bremer's "Home" in the eve. Had good dreams, and woke now and then to think, and watch the moon. I had a pleasant time with my mind, for it was happy.

[Moods began early.--L. M. A.]

_January, 1845, Friday._--Did my lessons, and in the P.M. mother read "Kenilworth" to us while we sewed. It is splendid! I got angry and called Anna mean. Father told me to look out the word in the Dic., and it meant "base," "contemptible." I was so ashamed to have called my dear sister that, and I cried over my bad tongue and temper.

We have had a lovely day. All the trees were covered with ice, and it shone like diamonds or fairy palaces. I made a piece of poetry about winter:--

The stormy winter's come at last, With snow and rain and bitter blast; Ponds and brooks are frozen o'er, We cannot sail there any more.

The little birds are flown away To warmer climes than ours; They'll come no more till gentle May Calls them back with flowers.

Oh, then the darling birds will sing From their neat nests in the trees.

All creatures wake to welcome Spring, And flowers dance in the breeze.

With patience wait till winter is o'er, And all lovely things return; Of every season try the more Some knowledge or virtue to learn.

[A moral is tacked on even to the early poems.--L. M. A.]

I read "Philothea,"[6] by Mrs. Child. I found this that I liked in it. Plato said:--

"When I hear a note of music I can at once strike its chord. Even as surely is there everlasting harmony between the soul of man and the invisible forms of creation. If there were no innocent hearts there would be no white lilies.... I often think flowers are the angel's alphabet whereby they write on hills and fields mysterious and beautiful lessons for us to feel and learn."

[Well done, twelve-year-old! Plato, the father's delight, had a charm for the little girl also.--L. M. A.]

_Wednesday._--I am so cross I wish I had never been born.

_Thursday._--Read the "Heart of Mid-Lothian," and had a very happy day. Miss Ford gave us a botany lesson in the woods. I am always good there. In the evening Miss Ford told us about the bones in our bodies, and how they get out of order. I must be careful of mine, I climb and jump and run so much.

I found this note from dear mother in my journal:--

MY DEAREST LOUY,--I often peep into your diary, hoping to see some record of more happy days. "Hope, and keep busy," dear daughter, and in all perplexity or trouble come freely to your

MOTHER.

DEAR MOTHER,--You _shall_ see more happy days, and I _will_ come to you with my worries, for you are the best woman in the world.

L. M. A.

_A Sample of our Lessons._

"What virtues do you wish more of?" asks Mr. L.

I answer:--

Patience, Obedience, Industry,

Love, Generosity, Respect,

Silence, Perseverance, Self-denial.

"What vices less of?"

Idleness, Impatience, Selfishness,

Wilfulness, Impudence, Activity,

Vanity, Pride, Love of cats.

MR. L. L.

SOCRATES. ALCIBIADES.

How can you get what you need? By trying.

How do you try? By resolution and perseverance.

How gain love? By gentleness.

What is gentleness? Kindness, patience, and care for other people's feelings.

Who has it? Father and Anna.

Who means to have it? Louisa, if she can.