Los Gringos Part 16

Furthermore, the violent ravings of the retired missionary I have already quoted, against what he terms "papacy, prelacy, papists, abomination of the Church of Rome," and the like balderdash, are enough to induce the belief, that were it not for the great conservative Law and Order party, which now rules the world--wherein the virtues of hemp are duly set forth--these deluded enthusiasts, so blinded by their fanatical zeal, would be cutting one another's throats, with the same malignant ferocity as in the bitter wars of the Huguenots.

The missionaries fully deserve all the love and influence they possess with the native population, for the toil and labor of very many weary years, pa.s.sed away from homes and kindred; and so long as they sedulously abstain from secular affairs, and resolutely confine themselves to the field of their good work, the very piety and blameless purity of their lives will shield them from the smallest reproach. But human pa.s.sions are ever the same. This very influence induces them to take part in the political contentions of the government; and whatever may be said to the contrary, it is evidently by their direct means, or connivance, that almost every public measure emanates. Nor is this the most innocent charge laid at their doors. Behold the illiberality and want of true Christian charity, evinced not only here, but with equal hostility by English missionaries in the Society Islands, in unremitting persecutions and expulsion of the Catholics. Whether directly urged by the Protestants, or at their instigation through the native chiefs, matters not--they were driven like dogs from these inhospitable sh.o.r.es, and never dared to return until backed by the cannon of their King.

It may well be doubted, if the Catholics had been the first to have raised the banner of the Cross on the Islands of Polynesia, whether they would quietly have submitted to any foreign innovations upon their creed or forms. History gives no instances where an acquisition has been relinquished without a deadly struggle; but in these days of enlightenment, when the field is so ample, why not throw wide open the gate to all laborers in the cause of philanthropy, where no harm can arise, and great good may follow?

The Catholics lead as pure and irreproachable lives as their Protestant brethren--without perhaps the comforts--and are rapidly making proselytes; their religion teaching forgiveness and absolution, being more in accordance with the backsliding sins of the natives, who meet with no appeal from the more austere puritanism of the Protestants.

FOOTNOTES:

[5] Vide Report to the Hawaiian Legislature of 1848, by R. C. Wyllie, Minister of Foreign Relations.

[6] Bingham, page 609.

CHAPTER XLIII.

After a delightful visit spent at Lahaina, late one afternoon, we bade adieu to Maui, and steering between Lanai and Molokai, by daylight the following morning we had pa.s.sed Diamond Point, and let run our anchor at a great depth of water, a mile or more outside the Oahu reef, the frigate's draught being too large to allow her to enter within the smooth and well-protected arms of the port.

We were in Honolulu--the Ismir of Polynesia--a little thriving city of nearly eight thousand people, and its situation one of the prettiest in the world. It lies spread about at the base of the beautiful valley of Nuaana, upon a very gentle slope down to the verge of the harbor. On either hand the sh.o.r.es are fringed with cocoanuts, and all around, up hill and vale, save the burnt sides of the Devil's Punch-bowl and Point Diamond, is laid the deepest, densest verdure, as if it had been actually poured down from the heights above, in liquid floods of foliage, until there was not a spot on the leafy waves where another green branch could find a lurking place!

Honolulu is a town of strangers, with shops, stores, and warehouses; handsome dwellings with verandas and piazzas; pleasantly shaded cottages of elegant modern build, with gra.s.s and flowers; and nice little straw huts, in cl.u.s.ters by themselves, for bachelors, all very cool; then the unpaved streets are filled with dust, and natives wander about, in bright-colored, loosely-fitting garments, looking forlorn, diseased, and miserable, living, no one cares how or where; sleeping in the most loathsome abodes of wretchedness, and vilest dens of vice; in all save absolute want or dest.i.tution, far below, in the moral scale, the worst hovels of iniquity in the great cities of the Old World! But we have no time to waste upon morals. Presently a low four-wheeled vehicle rattles along--there are many of them--drawn by Kanaka cab-horses; very kind and humanizing it is too, for the beasts are tame, never kick, not given to prove restive, or run away, at least with the coach! I often speculated mentally if the fair women when taking an airing ever blushed for their cattle; and when I saw a pious missionary lady trotting gaily by, I wondered if she had ever seen or read a "High-heeled Shoe for a Limping Sinner"--most probably not. And then within those charming cottages I spoke of, there are lovely women from far, far over the seas--oh, beautiful was one!--who make music and dancing, and most agreeable society, and hand around delicious tea fresh from the Celestials, and piquant lemonade--eschewing vinous compounds--while the sweet perfume of the lime-trees is present to eye and sense, and all pleasantly commingled with innocent sips of scandal.

Again the quays are crowded with more miserable natives, with sprigs of coral, sh.e.l.ls, calibashes, or island ornaments in their hands, looking wistfully, and silently towards you; for they never use importunities, they are too indolent by half. And there is a market shed near by, where a fat woman will swallow a full gallon of _poee-poee_, to show how the thing is done, provided it be paid for! And then, as a relief from these diseased beings, there is the white reef seaward, vainly chafing and lashing the coral barrier; and the calm harbor, cl.u.s.tering with fine ships, chiefly of the oleaginous order, while whale-boats, and graceful Koawood canoes--with light frameworks of sticks, and outriggers to bear them upright--are dancing over the blue wavelets.

There are agreeable rides in every direction diverging from the city.

The most fashionable is up the Nuana Valley. The road is broad and straight, lined on either side by well-tilled plantations of fruits, and patches of vegetables, with elegant country-houses, placed back from the causeway, half visible through the rich and sombre foliage.

Five minutes' gallop takes you, by an easy ascent, away from the heat and dust of town. The atmosphere is purer and cooler, the blue sea, shipping, reef, town, groves and fields, are lying in miniature at your feet! Go on--pa.s.s the King's villa--up, up, for six or seven miles, and suddenly the trade wind sweeps with heavy gusts, around a sharp turn of the craggy verdant peaks, and you stand on a lofty terrace, and gaze through a great balconied window, cut like an embrasure, and formed by piles of rocks at the sides and base, while below is a frightful precipice, and beyond a glorious undulating landscape is breathing in verdure and beauty, dotted here and there by native hamlets, whose bleached white thatching is glistening in the sun, with herds of cattle upon the hill sides, chequered by bright patches under cultivation; while further still, the island is girdled about by high waves, breaking upon the rock-bound coast with the full force of the trades.

This is the _Pali_, concerning which, among other heathenish legends, which have neither romance nor chivalric merit to recommend them, it is said that a certain island king once hurled from thence a number of his rebellious subjects.

Returning, we can take a glance at scores of poor squalid wretches, with closely-shaven heads, living in filthy kennels that a decent dog would despise; but they have been guilty of breaking one of the commandments, and to reform their morals are herded together, and made to labor upon the public roads!

Sat.u.r.day is the Saturnalia of the Kanakas! They revel on horseback; the streets, roads and plains are filled with them. It is surprising where they all spring from; for although they are an ambulating population, without local attachments, and go in schooner-loads from island to island of the group, particularly upon the advent of a large ship of war, and no doubt are packed very closely in their hovels in and around Honolulu, yet it still is a matter for wonderment where all come from.

Hundreds of both s.e.xes throng the pathways; and those more fortunate, who can hire horses, are riding, and racing, leaping, and kicking up all the noise and dust possible. The women bestride their steeds like men, with petticoats tucked snugly around them, and sometimes wearing for head gear as many as three bonnets of different colors, one within the other, like nests of pill boxes. The young princes of the blood, too, attended by the copper-colored n.o.bility of the kingdom, ride with headlong speed, and are not remarkable for taking less than three-fourths of the highway, to the great peril and inconvenience of more soberly-mounted pa.s.sengers. On one pleasant evening an aristocratic sprig rode rudely against an Anglo-Saxon demoiselle, in whose train I had the pleasure of being, and without pausing to apologise for his brutality, continued on, causing me to indulge in certain pious aspirations for my Mexican whip that I might inflict a few mild exhortations, in spite of his long line of Kanaka ancestry.

Neither men nor women sit the horse gracefully or firmly, and it is a matter of hourly occurrence to see them take an aerial toss from the saddle. A certain kind of equestrian intoxication--possibly caused by brandy--appears to possess them, and they gallop and prance about as long as the beasts have a leg to stand on.

It is customary for strangers visiting Honolulu, in the absence of requisite hotel accommodation, to hire a small tenement expressly appropriated for that purpose; many of them are pleasant little domiciles, built of straw, and kept by their proprietors tolerably clean, free from fleas, and habitable. They are in cl.u.s.ters by themselves, and surrounded by adobie walls, enclosing a few trees, and shrubbery, and generally take their designation from the last ship of war whose officers may have occupied them.

The Alsatia we affected was named in compliment to an English flag-ship--Collingwood _row_! Our hamlet was tabooed, and none others than those especially licensed, were permitted to darken those sanctuaries.

We arose early for a bathe on the coral flats or shoals of the reef, then took gallop before breakfast; and when the trade began its diurnal breeze, and the streets were impa.s.sible from dust, we reclined within our thatched castles, enjoying the cooling gusts blowing down the Nuana, or were seated with segars beneath the shelving eaves, regarding the natives grouped near the doorways! They were mostly girls--poor, miserable shameless objects, with diseased, unhealthy complexions, lounging all day in the glaring sun, or cl.u.s.tered, two and three together, sucking _poee-poee_, smoking pipes, and chatting their soft idiom, low and laughingly; but they had not the grace, nor coy witchery of the charming rustics of Hilo: they were city ladies--in Honolulu, where there is more population, more want, and far more vice!

Before the sun sinks for the day, there is but little wind, and walking or riding is then a pleasureable excitement. There is a circle of agreeable society, too; not alone with foreign merchants and consuls, but with a higher order of diplomatic agents, who, although severed from their homes by thousands of leagues of water, still surround themselves with all the elegancies and enjoyments of social existence which they have known in their native lands. Indeed Oahu, though without the salubrious, agreeable climate of Maui, is still a place of much interest; and from its delightful position, and fine scenery, well worthy of all the commendation that voyagers bestow upon it.

CHAPTER XLIV.

King Kammehamma, or Kamme, as he is familiarly called, is the third of his race: his ancestors were fierce, ungovernable gentlemen, who, in the good old times, clubbed and killed--perhaps ate, too--n.o.body knows--a great number of their enemies; but without tracing the historic truth of these remote events, it is only necessary to state, that his present majesty has been invested with the purple, and is, to all formal appearances, the chief potentate of the islands.

The government is a complicated piece of political machinery, with a const.i.tution, and ma.s.ses of subtle laws, equal in magnitude to the huge proportions of a Chinese dictionary. There is a Legislative a.s.sembly of Kanakas, Ministers of State, War, Finance, Solicitors-general, an army, a navy, and a court! This is not half, but it makes one dizzy to think of it all at once: however, on due reflection, it is not quite so complicated an affair after all! The government is simplified by two bosom friends of the King--Mr. Robert Crichton Wyllie, Minister of foreign relations; and Mr. G. P. Judd, Minister of finance. The former is a very clever Scotch gentleman, somewhat inflated with the royal trust reposed in him, and has, moreover, the _cathoethes scribendi_ to a most melancholy and voluminous extent; yet he is an agreeable person, and gives good dinners, and I have not the heart to say a syllable to his disparagement, although I have not had the felicity of testing his cuisine!

But Mr. Judd is the Magnus Apollo of the Island. Kamme, or the Lonely One--as the word signifies--is his puppet, and most particularly lonely he keeps him! The King is Punch, and Judd is Judy, and the Lonely One is jumped about and thumped, and the wires are pulled unremittingly. Judd is his prime counsellor, his parliament, father confessor and ghostly adviser--his temperance lecturer, purse-bearer, and factotum generally.

There was a rumor, too, in courtly circles, that an order of n.o.bility was to be established, and then we shall have, probably, Baron Judd, Peer of the Realm and Regent of the Kingdom. One would naturally suppose that a staunch democrat from the Model Republic could not bear the tainted air of a monarchical court in his republican nostrils, But it is wonderful how soon we learn to estimate patriotism at so much per annum, and with what suppleness we can kneel before a throne, if there be dollars hidden beneath the dais. What boots it whether the chair be filled with African or white? We want dollars!

The king was universally liked by the foreigners; for he has, indeed, for a modernized savage, much bonhommie; is a good-hearted, well-meaning person; rather given to conviviality, like all his race, and when permitted to throw off the restraints of the court, he "allows his more austere faculties to become pleasingly relaxed by a little gentle and innocent indulgence." However, these backslidings are of rare occurrence, and when under the argus eyes of his financial adviser, he is never seen to exceed the limits of propriety--eschews ten-pins and tobacco.--sips malt, and devotes his leisure to billiards.

We were to be presented at court! It occupied a number of days to arrange certain punctilio, and finally, without any decided misunderstanding, an hour was fixed for a royal audience.

One day, precisely as the clock tolled twelve, we sallied out into the dusty streets--chapeau'd, sworded, belted, and laced up to the chin. The weather was warm, too. A few minutes walk, guided by our obliging cicerone, Mr. Wyllie, carried us to the Palace.

It is a large, square-built villa, s.p.a.ciously piazzaed and windowed, surrounded by pretty plantations of shrubbery and fruit-trees. At the gateway a guard of Kanaka infantry presented arms, the royal standard was unfurled from the flag-staff and floated to the breeze. Pa.s.sing up a broad, gravelled alley, we ascended a flight of steps to the piazza, and were again saluted by a double line of officers, who were supposed to be the black rods in waiting. Entering the villa, we found ourselves in a wide hall traversing the centre of the building, with saloons to the right and left. The King not having arrived, we had leisure to inspect the reception room. It was a s.p.a.cious apartment, with windows on three sides, having green Venetian blinds opening to the piazzas, and two doors leading to the hall. It was handsomely carpeted, and the furniture consisted of a few plain mahogany chairs, with another of state, surmounted by a crown. A round table stood in the centre, supporting alabaster ornaments, volumes of Wilkes' Exploring Expedition, and a richly-bound Bible in the native dialect, presented by that estimable philanthropist, Elizabeth Fry. The walls were hung with portraits of the Lonely One's family--dingy chiefs and their ladies, smiling intensely, with round saucer eyes and thick lips--a painting of Blucher--two of the Kings of Prussia--and facing the throne, in a gorgeously gilt and carved frame, the King of the French; which two last, by a singular coincidence, had lately been presented in great state and procession by the respective consuls, on the very days their several majesties had been dethroned!

Time was only allowed us to take a rapid glance around the saloon, when the approach of majesty was announced, and we hurried back to the hall.

From the opposite side of the terrace appeared the regal cortege--brilliant in embroidery, gold lace, nodding plumes, and swords at their sides: on they came, two abreast--foremost, the King with the Minister of Finance--then a brace of Chamberlains, followed by the High Chiefs and officers of state, and the procession closed by the two young princes, Alexander and Lot.

In a few moments, his excellency the Minister of Foreign Relations imparted the august intelligence of all being prepared for our reception. Forming in line--the Admiral leading, under pilotage of Mr.

Wyllie--we entered the saloon, and approached the throne. The King was standing, and the courtiers ranged on either side. Our Admiral backed his topsails and let go an anchor on the Lonely One's port beam: we were then telegraphed by name--shot ahead--hove to abreast His Majesty--exchanged signals--filled away and took position by order of sailing on the starboard bow!

His excellency the Minister of Finance--who, by the way, was not an ill-looking n.o.bleman--in full court costume, and a field-marshal's chapeau tucked under his arm--announced to the Admiral that His Majesty would deign to lend a willing ear to any observations upon religion, war, politics, or any other topics most agreeable. Whereupon, the Admiral having a few remarks all ready prepared in his pocket, proceeded to dilate on the happiness he felt in being thus honored--spoke of the extraordinary beauty of the Islands--touched upon usefulness of missionaries, and ended by expressing solicitude for His Majesty's welfare and dynasty.

This speech, was immediately translated by the courtly Judd, who, with admirable foresight, had provided himself beforehand with a copy.

Thereupon he handed the King a reply, who began in much the same strain as the Admiral, and concluded by hinting that he hoped his dynasty _would_ last a long time!

The business being now happily arranged, His Majesty and the Admiral became seated, and the rest of us were permitted to mingle freely with the Kanaka court.

Kammehamma, and all his native attendants, had handsome, agreeable faces, and were extremely well made. The Premier, John Young, a half-breed, would be recognized for an elegant person in any part of the world. Two were of just and colossal proportions--one, the High Chief Parkee, the greatest Chamberlain probably in the world--for he weighs nearly four hundred pounds: I forget the precise number of chairs he crashes annually, but it is something enormous, and he is the terror of all housekeepers.

The King, Premier and Judd, had broad red ribbons thrown baldric fashion over breast and shoulders, of such extreme breadth as to give the idea of the wearers having burst their jugular arteries.

Whilst intently occupied regarding this brilliant throng, I happened to attract the attention of an intelligent copper youth, some twenty years old, who spoke English perfectly well, and who in fact patronised me with great politeness and suavity of demeanor; and well he might, for he was Prince of the blood royal, and could afford it. There chanced to be a fine engraving of Queen Victoria and infant family, in the hall.

"This," said His Highness, pointing with marked emphasis to the little Prince of Wales, "this is the heir to the British throne!" Ah! thought I, forgive me, but you occupy the same elevated position in the Hawaiian dynasty! My conjecture was well founded.

By some means the succession of late had been changed. And, by the way, it is a wise inst.i.tution they have, of continuing the descent from the female branch. The war-club, feathers, and other regalia, were to have fallen upon the brows of one Prince Moses; but Moses was suspected of being too pointed in his attentions to the Queen consort herself--scandal perhaps--although there could be no question about the sad havoc he committed in the hearts of the youthful _wyheenees_ of the Royal Academy! Ah! wicked Moses! His excellency the Financial Minister, fearing future inroads upon the peace of families, had the gay Lothario banished to a remote and desolate district of the Island, and the succession transferred to a brother--the youth who evinced so much complaisance towards me.

We remained a full hour, and then made our adieus, "the interview having pa.s.sed," according to the Court Journal, "much to the satisfaction of all parties."

For my own part I was excessively diverted with the rarce-show, and thought it highly ridiculous. What greater folly can exist than aping the forms and etiquette of an European court? If, as is contended, the natives are not sufficiently advanced in civilization for free government, it is by no means imperative to set up a tinsel puppet, to dazzle the eyes of a few half-naked savages; for surely no intelligent person can be so blind an owl as not to detect and despise the cheat.

These vain-glorious ceremonies and pretensions are also, in a certain degree, the cause of embroiling the Hawaiian Government with other nations, whose consuls or diplomatic agents complain of bad treatment; but in all the bullying or advice volunteered, incident upon their indiscretions, there has been none so sensible, and so plainly given, as the letter of an English Admiral to the King, consequent upon outrages committed upon a British subject in 1846. Outcries are raised, too, in these cases, by individuals who have renounced their own country and sworn allegiance to a new native master, about the oppression of American citizens.