Lincoln's Yarns and Stories - novelonlinefull.com
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The disinterested to whom it was an intellectual game, felt the power and charm of both men.
WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
"What made the deepest impression upon you?" inquired a friend one day, "when you stood in the presence of the Falls of Niagara, the greatest of natural wonders?"
"The thing that struck me most forcibly when I saw the Falls," Lincoln responded, with characteristic deliberation, "was, where in the world did all that water come from?"
"LONG ABE" FOUR YEARS LONGER.
The second election of Abraham Lincoln to the Presidency of the United States was the reward of his courage and genius bestowed upon him by the people of the Union States. General George B. McClellan was his opponent in 1864 upon the platform that "the War is a failure," and carried but three States--New Jersey, Delaware and Kentucky. The States which did not think the War was a failure were those in New England, New York, Pennsylvania, all the Western commonwealths, West Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas and the new State of Nevada, admitted into the Union on October 31st. President Lincoln's popular majority over McClellan, who never did much toward making the War a success, was more than four hundred thousand. Underneath the cartoon reproduced here, from "Harper's Weekly" of November 26th, 1864, were the words, "Long Abraham Lincoln a Little Longer."
But the beloved President's time upon earth was not to be much longer, as he was a.s.sa.s.sinated just one month and ten days after his second inauguration. Indeed, the words, "a little longer," printed below the cartoon, were strangely prophetic, although not intended to be such.
The people of the United States had learned to love "Long Abe," their affection being of a purely personal nature, in the main. No other Chief Executive was regarded as so sincerely the friend of the great ma.s.s of the inhabitants of the Republic as Lincoln. He was, in truth, one of "the common people," having been born among them, and lived as one of them.
Lincoln's great height made him an easy subject for the cartoonist, and they used it in his favor as well as against him.
"ALL SICKER'N YOUR MAN."
A Commissioner to the Hawaiian Islands was to be appointed, and eight applicants had filed their papers, when a delegation from the South appeared at the White House on behalf of a ninth. Not only was their man fit--so the delegation urged--but was also in bad health, and a residence in that balmy climate would be of great benefit to him.
The President was rather impatient that day, and before the members of the delegation had fairly started in, suddenly closed the interview with this remark:
"Gentlemen, I am sorry to say that there are eight other applicants for that place, and they are all 'sicker'n' your man."
EASIER TO EMPTY THE POTOMAC.
An officer of low volunteer rank persisted in telling and re-telling his troubles to the President on a summer afternoon when Lincoln was tired and careworn.
After listening patiently, he finally turned upon the man, and, looking wearily out upon the broad Potomac in the distance, said in a peremptory tone that ended the interview:
"Now, my man, go away, go away. I cannot meddle in your case. I could as easily bail out the Potomac River with a teaspoon as attend to all the details of the army."
HE WANTED A STEADY HAND.
When the Emanc.i.p.ation Proclamation was taken to Mr. Lincoln by Secretary Seward, for the President's signature, Mr. Lincoln took a pen, dipped it in the ink, moved his hand to the place for the signature, held it a moment, then removed his hand and dropped the pen. After a little hesitation, he again took up the pen and went through the same movement as before. Mr. Lincoln then turned to Mr. Seward and said:
"I have been shaking hands since nine o'clock this morning, and my right arm is almost paralyzed. If my name ever goes into history, it will be for this act, and my whole soul is in it. If my hand trembles when I sign the Proclamation, all who examine the doc.u.ment hereafter will say, 'He hesitated.'"
He then turned to the table, took up the pen again, and slowly, firmly wrote "Abraham Lincoln," with which the whole world is now familiar.
He then looked up, smiled, and said, "That will do."
LINCOLN SAW STANTON ABOUT IT.
Mr. Lovejoy, heading a committee of Western men, discussed an important scheme with the President, and the gentlemen were then directed to explain it to Secretary of War Stanton.
Upon presenting themselves to the Secretary, and showing the President's order, the Secretary said: "Did Lincoln give you an order of that kind?"
"He did, sir."
"Then he is a d--d fool," said the angry Secretary.
"Do you mean to say that the President is a d--d fool?" asked Lovejoy, in amazement.
"Yes, sir, if he gave you such an order as that."
The bewildered Illinoisan betook himself at once to the President and related the result of the conference.
"Did Stanton say I was a d--d fool?" asked Lincoln at the close of the recital.
"He did, sir, and repeated it."
After a moment's pause, and looking up, the President said: "If Stanton said I was a d--d fool, then I must be one, for he is nearly always right, and generally says what he means. I will slip over and see him."
MRS. LINCOLN'S SURPRISE.
A good story is told of how Mrs. Lincoln made a little surprise for her husband.
In the early days it was customary for lawyers to go from one county to another on horseback, a journey which often required several weeks.
On returning from one of these trips, late one night, Mr. Lincoln dismounted from his horse at the familiar corner and then turned to go into the house, but stopped; a perfectly unknown structure was before him. Surprised, and thinking there must be some mistake, he went across the way and knocked at a neighbor's door. The family had retired, and so called out:
"Who's there?"
"Abe Lincoln," was the reply. "I am looking for my house. I thought it was across the way, but when I went away a few weeks ago there was only a one-story house there and now there is a two-story house in its place.
I think I must be lost."
The neighbors then explained that Mrs. Lincoln had added another story during his absence. And Mr. Lincoln laughed and went to his remodeled house.