Letters of John Keats to His Family and Friends Part 24

JOHN KEATS.

Lx.x.xV.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON.

Wentworth Place, [December 27, 1818].

My dear Haydon--I had an engagement to-day--and it is so fine a morning that I cannot put it off--I will be with you to-morrow--when we will thank the G.o.ds, though you have bad eyes and I am idle.

I regret more than anything the not being able to dine with you to-day. I have had several movements that way--but then I should disappoint one who has been my true friend. I will be with you to-morrow morning and stop all day--we will hate the profane vulgar and make us Wings.

G.o.d bless you.

J. KEATS.

Lx.x.xVI.--TO f.a.n.n.y KEATS.

Wentworth Place, Wednesday [December 30, 1818].

My dear f.a.n.n.y--I am confined at Hampstead with a sore throat; but I do not expect it will keep me above two or three days. I intended to have been in Town yesterday but feel obliged to be careful a little while. I am in general so careless of these trifles, that they tease me for Months, when a few days' care is all that is necessary. I shall not neglect any chance of an endeavour to let you return to School--nor to procure you a Visit to Mrs. Dilke's which I have great fears about. Write me if you can find time--and also get a few lines ready for George as the Post sails next Wednesday.

Your affectionate Brother

JOHN ----.

Lx.x.xVII.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON.

Wentworth Place, Monday Aft. [January 4, 1819].

My dear Haydon--I have been out this morning, and did not therefore see your note till this minute, or I would have gone to town directly--it is now too late for to-day. I will be in town early to-morrow, and trust I shall be able to lend you a.s.sistance noon or night. I was struck with the improvement in the architectural part of your Picture--and, now I think on it, I cannot help wondering you should have had it so poor, especially after the Solomon. Excuse this dry bones of a note: for though my pen may grow cold, I should be sorry my Life should freeze--

Your affectionate friend

JOHN KEATS.

Lx.x.xVIII.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON.

Wentworth Place, [between January 7 and 14, 1819].

My dear Haydon--We are very unlucky--I should have stopped to dine with you, but I knew I should not have been able to leave you in time for my plaguy sore throat; which is getting well.

I shall have a little trouble in procuring the Money and a great ordeal to go through--no trouble indeed to any one else--or ordeal either. I mean I shall have to go to town some thrice, and stand in the Bank an hour or two--to me worse than anything in Dante--I should have less chance with the people around me than Orpheus had with the Stones. I have been writing a little now and then lately: but nothing to speak of--being discontented and as it were moulting. Yet I do not think I shall ever come to the rope or the Pistol, for after a day or two's melancholy, although I smoke more and more my own insufficiency--I see by little and little more of what is to be done, and how it is to be done, should I ever be able to do it. On my soul, there should be some reward for that continual _agonie ennuyeuse_. I was thinking of going into Hampshire for a few days. I have been delaying it longer than I intended. You shall see me soon; and do not be at all anxious, for _this_ time I really will do, what I never did before in my life, business in good time, and properly.--With respect to the Bond--it may be a satisfaction to you to let me have it: but as you love me do not let there be any mention of interest, although we are mortal men--and bind ourselves for fear of death.

Yours for ever

JOHN KEATS.

Lx.x.xIX.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON.

Wentworth Place, [January 1819].

My dear Haydon--My throat has not suffered me yet to expose myself to the night air: however I have been to town in the day time--have had several interviews with my guardian--have written him rather a plain-spoken Letter--which has had its effect; and he now seems inclined to put no stumbling-block in my way: so that I see a good prospect of performing my promise. What I should have lent you ere this if I could have got it, was belonging to poor Tom--and the difficulty is whether I am to inherit it before my Sister is of age; a period of six years. Should it be so I must incontinently take to Corduroy Trousers. But I am nearly confident 'tis all a Bam. I shall see you soon--but do let me have a line to-day or to-morrow concerning your health and spirits.

Your sincere friend

JOHN KEATS.

XC.--TO f.a.n.n.y KEATS.

Wentworth Place, [January 1819].

My dear f.a.n.n.y--I send this to Walthamstow for fear you should not be at Pancras Lane when I call to-morrow--before going into Hampshire for a few days--I will not be more I a.s.sure you--You may think how disappointed I am in not being able to see you more and spend more time with you than I do--but how can it be helped? The thought is a continual vexation to me--and often hinders me from reading and composing--Write to me as often as you can--and believe me,

Your affectionate Brother

JOHN ----.

XCI.--TO f.a.n.n.y KEATS.

Wentworth Place, Feb{y.} [11, 1819]. Thursday.

My dear f.a.n.n.y--Your Letter to me at Bedhampton hurt me very much,--What objection can there be to your receiving a Letter from me? At Bedhampton I was unwell and did not go out of the Garden Gate but twice or thrice during the fortnight I was there--Since I came back I have been taking care of myself--I have been obliged to do so, and am now in hopes that by this care I shall get rid of a sore throat which has haunted me at intervals nearly a twelvemonth. I had always a presentiment of not being able to succeed in persuading Mr. Abbey to let you remain longer at School--I am very sorry that he will not consent. I recommend you to keep up all that you know and to learn more by yourself however little. The time will come when you will be more pleased with Life--look forward to that time and, though it may appear a trifle be careful not to let the idle and retired Life you lead fix any awkward habit or behaviour on you--whether you sit or walk endeavour to let it be in a seemly and if possible a graceful manner. We have been very little together: but you have not the less been with me in thought. You have no one in the world besides me who would sacrifice anything for you--I feel myself the only Protector you have. In all your little troubles think of me with the thought that there is at least one person in England who if he could would help you out of them--I live in hopes of being able to make you happy.--I should not perhaps write in this manner, if it were not for the fear of not being able to see you often or long together. I am in hopes Mr. Abbey will not object any more to your receiving a letter now and then from me.