Laugh and Live Part 7

"What we don't know doesn't hurt us any"--so runs the old saw. And here's a case where we who didn't see, _were_ hurt, but we didn't know it.

For those of us who have vision there are all sorts of opportunities, but many of them are not good for us. The ones we make for ourselves are the healthy ones, and generally they are the best for us. "Our own baby"

is the one we will take the greatest pride in and enjoy the most. Then we become masters of our own destiny in a sense and can be more independent through having no senior partners in the enterprise. Often our dreams bring forth a need for many kinds of special knowledge and for these we go into the open market offering opportunity to many others in return for their a.s.sistance. Thus we find that everything we do is in relation to other things and dependent in part on other people.

This should make us careful and a wee bit wary. Opportunities are widely divergent in nature--through a stroke of hard luck one might have difficulty in finding employment. The first opportunity might lead to a job in a bar-room, but having fortified ourselves by developing our highest attributes such as honesty, integrity, cleanliness of body and mind--we are able to somehow or other pinch along until something better shows itself. First-cla.s.s principles are not to be thrown away upon the first provocation, therefore, in order to take away the temptation, we might as well figure out that a great many employments in the world do not represent _real opportunities_ and therefore should not be considered.

Failure to seize such so-called opportunities becomes a virtue in the same sense that the failure to seize a decent opportunity becomes a shame.

Often opportunity comes through meeting men of affairs who have power and wealth at their command. These are usually in connection with enterprises of the greater magnitude. Those of us who have the power to control our destinies to a reasonable degree should not stand back in our support of these. If we have carefully built up our initiative, self-reliance, preparedness in the way of efficiency, good health and the will to do, there is no reason why we should not aspire to take a hand in anything in which we are confident we can succeed. Among the men who control the big affairs of the business world we find a true democracy--_they want the man_. The fact that he appears before them neatly attired, bright of eye and ready of wit will surely count in his favor.

In other words, we should live up to the opportunity in whatever form it presents itself after we have accepted its responsibilities. To make this perfectly plain _we must live up to the job_! If we are to be superintendent of a coal mine "underneath the ground" we will put on our overalls and jumpers, but if we are to be manager of a grand opera house we will appear in our dress suits. The thought is obvious, but as we journey along we find many of our fellow mortals neglecting to live in line with what they are doing.

We mention this fact hopeful that we will not fail to seize our opportunities by setting up obstacles whereby we may become _persona non grata_ through lack of discernment.

Opportunity is within ourselves and when we have seized our rightful share, then we may look with pride upon our endeavor and proceed to _laugh and live_!

CHAPTER XVII

a.s.sUMING RESPONSIBILITIES

Those who fear to a.s.sume responsibility necessarily _take orders from others_. The punishment fits the crime perfectly and being self-inflicted there is no injustice. It is true that many men possessed of great brain power play "second fiddle" to shallow-minded men of inferior wisdom from sheer lack of forcefulness on their own part. They lack the full quality of leadership while possessing all save one essential--_courage_. Fear abides in their hearts and spreads itself as a mantle of gloom over their super-sensitive souls until finally they struggle no more. Henceforth they are doomed and become the subject of apology on the part of friends and relations. "He's all right," they say, "but he suffers from over-refinement." He lacks something--we cannot make out just what. It is altogether too bad for he is such a superior man among _his social equals_.

We must take our hats off to those who have the goodness of heart to make allowance for our shortcomings. A disinterested listener, however, is seldom taken into camp by such well intended argument. He knows that "friend husband" or "friend brother" as the case may be, needs some sort of swift kick that will stir his combativeness into action--that will cause him to turn upon his mental inferior and have it out with him then and there--once and for all. As a courage builder _fighting for justice_ is not to be sneezed at.

Courage can be built up just the same as any other soul quality. It is all a matter of early training as to which we start out with--courage or fear. Unthinking parents have a lot to do with the propagation of fear in the hearts of children. A _neglectful father_ plus a _fear-stricken mother_ const.i.tute the most logical forces which tend toward the overdevelopment of fear in a child. Once the seed is thoroughly implanted the growth can be depended upon. How to get rid of it later is not so easy to figure out. Had the child been born with a "clubfoot"

these same parents would have spent their last dollar in an effort to straighten it into natural condition. They could see the unshapely foot day by day with their own eyes--and so could their neighbors. But the fear-warped little brain struggling for courage with which to combat its weakness needs must battle alone with chances largely against it.

The mere thought of what is in store for this little one as it stumbles along from one period to another, fearful of this, and fearful of that, is disconcerting to say the least. We can almost trace our friend "Second Fiddle" directly back to such a childhood. We can almost hear his fond mother shout, "Keep away from the brook, darling, you might get your feet wet and _catch your death of a cold_." Another well known and highly respected admonition belonging to childhood's hour is, "Come in, deary, it's getting dark--Bogie man will get you if you don't watch out."

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Bungalowing in California_]

Some years later when little son runs breathless into the home portal after being chased from school by some "turrible" boys we can hear this same little mother as she storms about the place and tells what "papa must do" about the matter. According to her notion, if teachers could not control the "criminal element" among their pupils then it was high time for the police to step in. Never a word about little son taking his own part! Father listens in silence and half formulates the notion of going direct to the parents and laying down the law, while little son listens in fear and trembling in antic.i.p.ation of what is coming to him if father carries out his threat.

Tall oaks from little acorns grow--_if the twig is not bent in the sprouting_.

Little son is bound to grow into manhood some day and when he arrives he must have one particular attribute--_courage_. Somehow he will get along if he has that. He may also wear a "clubfoot" or a "hunch back," but with courage as a running mate he will a.s.sume his responsibilities and become a force in the world.

Once a great orator sat upon a rostrum listening to a speech by a man who cautioned his countrymen against taking steps to defend the national honor. "We'll outlive the taunts of those who would drag us into war!"

he bellowed forth. Whereupon the orator jumped to his feet and with clarion voice shouted, "G.o.d hates a coward!" and then sat down again.

Dazed at first the vast throng sat stupefied--but only for a moment.

Then as one man they jumped to their feet and by reason of prolonged cheering gave national impulse to a thought which has since been sermonized from thousands of pulpits. The orator had simply paraphrased and put "pep" into the old Biblical slogan: "The Lord helps those who help themselves." The effect was electrical. The whole country rallied to the idea with the result that we saved ourselves from war by showing the solid front of being ready and willing to defend ourselves.

Everything that tends to build up courage is an a.s.set in life. The more we have of it the further we go and the more interesting our lives become. For _the man of the lion heart_ all things unfold and unto him the timid must bring their offerings. No one of ordinary gumption consults the human "flivver." Advice from him would be unavailing. His point of view would be inadequate--his ability to advise, impotent. We go to the man who does things and say to him: "Here is my little idea--do you want to help me put it over?" If it is good, he does. If not, his experience tells him so, for men of courage are naturally possessed of large vision. Their lack of fear has given them right-of-way over vast areas of the world of action. They fail only as "their lights go out forever."

With courage we order our own lives and take orders only from those of superior wisdom. This we can never afford _not to do_. The courageous man of largest vision commands by his power to reason logically and therefore a.s.sumes the air of comradeship rather than "overseer" or "boss." Only through lack of moral and physical courage are we to become the slaves of these.

Courage--the child of _Hope--the despair of Failure_. Born of Good Cheer it links its fate with the higher attributes and tramples under foot the fears which spring up before it. When _sown early_ into the hearts of the young its companionship becomes unerring in its efficiency for good throughout their lives.

CHAPTER XVIII

WEDLOCK IN TIME

It is a happy idea to marry while we are young--a fine thing--a good thing--_a pleasant duty indeed_ to marry the woman of our choice at a time of life when both are at an age when adjustment is natural and lasting loyalties are implanted in our hearts and minds for all time. We make a sad mistake when we postpone so important a step just for the sake of becoming a rich man first so that our bride-to-be may step into luxurious quarters and never have to lift her dainty hands except to sip from the gla.s.s of nectar we have set before her. The real facts compiled by the statistical "System Sams" are against this idea. The balance comes up in red ink _on the wrong side of the ledger_.

According to these gentlemen the average mortal is likely to be very fat and much over forty before he can make an offering according to his first generous impulses and the chances are he will never reach the goal in this life. By the time he might be financially ready there is a hard glint in his eye, and he will be looking for the mote in the eye of his lady love. The waiting game is a hard one _and it makes us worldly_.

After the lapse of years what once seemed a _rose_ might appear to be more of a _hollyhock_.

Naturally we never blame ourselves for the changes. Had we obeyed the grand impulse in the hour of our youth we might have kept the garden full of roses and the hollyhocks would never have sprouted there. Then the home nest would have tinged our sensibilities with its loveliness and our affections would have been nailed down hard and fast _forever and a day_.

Among the many baffling problems which the young man faces, and for that matter, any man, is marriage. More thought, more energy and more time is taken up over this one decisive step than over any other. The reasons are obvious. It involves for life the happiness of the contracting parties--not only in a direct and personal way, but also in a general sense. The man's business success largely depends upon the helpmate he has in his home. _His career is at her mercy._ For example, if the wife should turn out to be unsympathetic, and uninterested in his ambitions, this fact might warp his prospects by causing him to _lose heart_ in facing the large problems awaiting him along the road of opportunity.

However, if she is of a cheerful, energetic disposition and willing to do all that she can to help him over the rough spots as they travel along together he will be _inspired into action_ and will do his level best. He will be conscious as he goes about his work that there is _one_ person above all upon whom he can depend--_his wife_.

Marriage is a _serious business_ and usually we concede that point in the beginning. However, this is not aimed as a blow at life's greatest romance ... it is merely the recognition of an elemental fact....

Marriage must have its _practical side_. To become successful in the highest degree man and wife _must establish a comradeship_. It is not the part of wisdom that either should rule the other, but rather that each should have the interest of the other at heart and should strive to be helpful one unto the other. Two men can go through life the best of friends, each holding the respect and confidence of the other. So can two women. _Then, why not a man and wife?_ Needless to say they can, and do. Such partnerships are sure of success. It is only through lack of comradeship that love flies out of the window--_and lights on a sea-going aeroplane_.

The marriage state is a long contract--it should not be stumbled into by man or woman. Nor should we become cowardly to the point of backing out of it altogether. Love is blind _only to the blind_. Either party to the tie that binds has a chance to know in advance whether the venture is safe and sane. All a man has to consider after he knows his own heart is that the woman of his choice is sensible, considerate and healthy. Other things being equal he can take the leap without hesitancy. We shouldn't borrow trouble.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Demonstrating the Monk and the Hand-Organ to a Body of Psychologists_]

Of course there are those who _should never marry_. They do, however, and when they do they loan themselves to the mockery of the marriage state. There is no time to dwell on this thought for it is just something that goes on happening anyway and has no bearing upon the advisability of "wedlock in time" between _people of horse sense_.

Given a good wife, after his own heart, no manly man has a righteous kick coming against the fates. Under such circ.u.mstances if things go wrong he will find the fault within himself. Of course we should, to the fullest possible extent, be prepared for marriage before a.s.suming its responsibilities. We should at least have a ticket before embarking--and it is the _real_ man's duty to provide the ticket. Since it is to be a long voyage a "round trip" isn't necessary. In other words, a man needn't be rich when he marries--but he should not be broke, either.

Lack of funds a few days after the honeymoon is too hard a test for matrimony to bear n.o.bly. It is too much like inviting a catastrophe through lack of good, hard sense to begin with. It shows poor generalship at the very start--and there is the liability of causing great distress and hardship to a tender-hearted little woman. It would be a sad blow to her to find that the man of her choice was, after all, just an ordinary fellow--_a man without foresight_.

There are four seasons in married life--spring, summer, fall and winter, and we are going to need a comrade as we go through each of them. And the one we want _is the one we start with_--the gentle partner in all our joys and sorrows. It is she who will stand back of us when all others fail. When the children come along to bless our days and inspire us to greater efforts we are glad to look into their happy, smiling faces and find that they resemble their mother--their soft cheeks are like hers, their hands, their dainty ways, their caresses. And when mama looks into those same bright eyes they make her think of their daddy.

The fond affection bestowed upon the children by both parents is but another mode of expressing their regard for each other.

Springtime days, these! When little tots climb up and entwine their arms about our necks. If this were married life's only compensation it would not prove in vain--for when the babies enter the home the tie that binds becomes hard and fast--_if the man is a manly man_. To become the father of a bright-eyed babe is an experience of the highest importance to a young man getting started. It reinforces his courage, doubles up his ambitions and _puts him on his metal_. He has a new responsibility and it adds to his strength of character to a.s.sume it in all its phases.

Another thing it brings comfort and joy to the mother during the long days while her man is out in the fray. _It drives ennui out of the household throughout our springtime days._

And when summer comes along new hopes dawn within us. Springtime had found us up and doing and when it merged into the new season we found our aspirations even stronger than before. Children must be educated and their futures prepared in advance as far as may be. They must not go into the world _without tools to work with_. Meanwhile the household teems with plans and becomes a veritable dreamland of youthful fervor.

We find that having helped our children into attractive personalities they have become magnets with which to draw about us their comrades.

Thus we hold on to our youth by virtue of our surroundings--creatures of our thoughtfulness concerning "_wedlock in time_."

That the fall season is coming has no terrors for us. There will be the weddings and plannings for new homes _close by_--if we have our say. And in due course, the grandchildren will come who will favor grandpa and grandma and once again youth knocks at our door. There will be no dread winter days for us for we have been forehanded--we have a _new crew on board to chase away the cares of old age and infirmities_.

Try how we will there is no way to forestall the operation of the law of compensation. We reap as we sow. The world will be good to those who compel its respect by becoming the right sort of citizens. _Wedlock in time--that's the answer_!