Loving With A Heavy Heart 123 I'm Sorry

With Adam's help the process of buying a new home went by smoothly. They went back to look at the condo a second time. Elle didn't think it was possible but she fell in love with it even more. The living room was s.p.a.cious, the kitchen was decked out with high grade appliances, and the bedroom had a walk-in-closet that was probably half the size of her current bedroom. But her favourite feature by far was that the bedroom had a pair of elegant gla.s.s doors that led out to a balcony, from where she had a beautiful view of the city.

Adam kindly helped her with all the legalities so she was spared the anxious and tedious feelings that usually went along with it. On a bright and sunny Sat.u.r.day, once Elle had received the key, Adam and her went shopping for new furnishings. By the end of the day her legs were sore from walking and she was sick and tired of shopping, but it was a rewarding feeling. Little by little, Elle began crossing things to do off her list until the only thing left was to pack up her things from her family home. And so Elle purposely picked a weekday, a day when she knew everyone would be out of the house, to go back and gather the last of her things.

"Good morning." Adam whispered into her ear early that morning.

Elle groaned as she covered her face with a pillow. "No. Why are you up so early? We don't have to go over until 10 today."

"About that." Adam said regretfully. Elle recognized the tone, she peered out from under the pillow and saw Adam dressed and ready in his usual business attire.

"You have to go to work?"

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"It's urgent, otherwise I wouldn't. I know I promised I would help you today."

"It's okay. Your work is more important."

"No it's not." Adam whispered softly as he cradled her face gently in his hands. "Nothing is more important than this." The way he looked into her eyes suggested he was talking about more than just moving.

Elle smiled warmly. "Go on, I can manage on my own."

Adam hung his head, defeated. "I'll only be gone for half the day. I will make it over to you by the afternoon, I promise."

"Don't worry, go on." Elle encouraged once more.

Reluctantly Adam left. Since she was waiting for it to be late enough that the house would be empty Elle got to sleep in a while longer. When she did get up she fixed herself a light breakfast and dressed up in the comfiest clothes she could find before driving over to her family home.

She was mainly transporting clothes so Elle figured it couldn't possibly take that long. She was wrong. After several trips back and forth between her new home and her old one she had only managed to clear through half her things.

"How is it going?" Adam asked when he called her in the afternoon.

"Slowly and tediously." Elle complained from the other end. "I guess after 25 years of life you really acc.u.mulate a lot of junk."

Adam chuckled. "I'm about to head over, it'll go faster then with the two of us."

"Alright, drive safely. I'll see you soon."

It didn't go any faster. Once Adam came to join her Elle took the opportunity to rest while he took a turn doing most of the heavy lifting and the driving. Finally, after more than a few hours, everything was neatly packed and moved to her new place. Adam loaded one last carful of clothes and was ready to drive it over but he was waiting on Elle who had gone to do one last check of her room.

Elle looked in drawers, and closets, and even under her bed, but sure enough nothing of importance was left behind. As she took one last look around her room a wave of nostalgia hit her. For as long as she could remember this had been her room. She could still remember all the sleepovers she had had in this room, the sleepless nights spent cramming for a test while hunched over her desk in this room. Elle felt like she had lived an entire life within these four walls. She couldn't help but feel a bit sad to leave it behind.

Elle was so lost in her reminiscing that she didn't hear someone creep up behind her.

"What's going on here." Her father's voice sounded from behind her.

Elle turned around in shock. "Father? Home so soon?"

"Answer me. What is this?"

"Can't you tell?" Elle asked, trying to hide her nervousness from her voice. "I'm moving out. I just came to collect the last of my things. Now that I have them I'll be off." She said as she tried to sneak past him.

"Wait a minute. What do you mean moving out? Who said you could move out?" He asked, his voice just short of a yell. Elle felt the nervousness leave her as her heart hardened once more.

"You did, didn't you? You said instead of intruding on other people I should just move into my own place. So I did. Tada."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Her father grumbled. "How will you live on your own?"

Elle rolled her eyes at his sudden concern for her well being. "I'm an adult. I can take care of myself just fine."

She began to walk out again when her father suddenly called out after her. "I'm not finished!" He shouted. But he wasn't angry, not really.

The truth was that he was the nervous one. Ever since the incident with Jacob he had been nervous, because he had never realized what a gem it was to have a daughter like Elle. Her tolerance, her understanding, her quiet concern. He never expected that it would all cease some day. He already felt like he was losing her when they argued back then, but now…Now he got the sinking feeling that if he let her walk out of the house he would lose her for good.

"Look if this is about what happened back then we can talk about it. I was wrong to side with Jacob. I'm sorry."

He finally said it. He finally said the words Elle had been longing to hear. 'I'm sorry.' But those words didn't sound nearly as sweet as she always imagined they would be. Instead they left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Right now you're only admitting you were wrong because you're not satisfied with the results." She told him honestly. "If things had gone in your favour, if I had never discovered anything, you would never have felt a shred of remorse."

As she said the words she saw dread fill her father's eyes. The father that she had loved so dearly for so many years. In that moment Elle wanted so badly to lie to herself like she had done all this time. She wanted to help him make an excuse. That he didn't know any better. That he was just doing the best he could. But knowing what she knew, knowing everything she now had to lose, Elle could no longer act ignorant or afraid.

"I'm not moving out because of that. Well not just that at least. It's best for both of us if I just go." Elle said, eager to rush back to where Adam was still waiting for her. "Don't forget," She added, spiting her father one last time, "you still owe me."