Kung Fu Nuns Part 19

Bein-Pai looked down at her and said, "Speak slowly and in a language I can understand."

Eugenia was at a loss. She couldn't find the words for "suck" and "c.o.c.k" in Mandarin or English or whatever other dialogue they spoke to one another in. She put her finger in her mouth and sucked it to imitate a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b, but Bein-Pai looked at her blankly. "Okay," she said, "I'll show you! I'm very good!"

Eugenia dropped down to her knees and started to kiss his Joy Stick, expecting it to expand as it did when he was washing it. Nothing happened. Nothing happened when she took it into her mouth and licked its head with the tip of her tongue. Feeling totally humiliated, she rose and said, "I'm sorry. You can't do it. You're a monk!"

"No!" He looked down at his groin. Eugenia's eyes followed his to discover him firm and erect again. "Why?" she shouted in frustration. "Why can't I suck it? The girls at school told me lots of monks and priests do it. They get absolution, too. You understand? Why?"

"Yes, I understand!"

"Then why can't I?"

"Because," he said in Mandarin, "you're a chien-chien shea-o."

"Oh, yeah? What's a chien-chien shea-o?"

"It's colloquial and hard to translate. Finish drying your hair. I have to braid it in our style. The authorities here think we steal women and children. They must a.s.sume that you're already one of us."

"Not unless you tell me what chien-chien shea-o means!"

"Figure it out yourself. If you're not dressed and ready for me in five minutes, I'll leave without you."

Eugenia did as he said. He had never threatened her before, and she wasn't ever going to let him out of her sight until she found out what those strange words meant and--if he was really a virgin monk. Something deep down inside told her that he wasn't.

When Bein-Pai finished brushing her hair out, he began to weave a filigreed gold ring onto the end of her braid. "No!" she said. "It's too heavy!"

"You'll get used to it!"

When they were again back on the road headed for the mountains, she asked, "How far is Henan now?"

"Twenty miles. We'll have lunch there and dinner at the monastery."

"I have a sore foot."

"You don't, and if you did I would cure you."

"I'm going have a foot so sore that even your Old Master won't be able to cure it unless you tell me what chien-chien shea-o means!"

"Meditate on the words. If you learned how to meditate, distance would be meaningless to you, and we would be home by now. I'll give you a mantra."

"What's a mantra?"

"Words which help you meditate by chanting them over and over again!"

"I've picked my own mantra."

"Good!" said the Shar Yip.

Eugenia thought she would irritate him by intoning the words chien-chien shea-o over and over again, but Bein-Pai just picked up her cadence and chanted along with her, the smile never drifting from his face. Half an hour later he turned to find Eugenia sitting on a rock behind in him in tears. She shouted, "I know why you won't touch me. I'm a s.l.u.t! A dirty rotten wh.o.r.e. I did everything in bed imaginable with a disgustingly old man. I even found it enjoyable. I even started doing it for money. Right? Chien-chien shea-o means wh.o.r.e! That's what you think? Right?"

"A Shar Yip doesn't think. To think is to stop being. If one has to work at simply being, he can be defeated. Thinking is a defeating behavior." Bein-Pai continued walking at the same fast pace without turning his head. Eugenia, not knowing what else to do, hurried after, fearing that he would disappear over the horizon and out of her view. To keep herself from thinking about her past, and what Bein-Pai actually thought of her--she began to chant again.

By the time the railway tracks leading to Henan could be seen, her mind had cleared and she shrieked, "I know what chien-chien shea-o means."

"What?" shouted Bein-Pai, who was way ahead of her.

She stopped cold. "I don't know what it means, I only know that I know what it means."

"Keep chanting, Eugenia. You've been enlightened."

Eugenia, trying to catch up to the handsome young man, was puzzled by the fact that she thought she knew the meaning of the Mandarin words. It was as if she had heard them before. Instead of continuing to chant, she tried to remember when and where.

It was when Henan lay before them in the morning sun that she got an image of a picture, a picture in a frame, and then one of her mother. "She spoke Mandarin but never to me." A babble of voices engulfed her, voices speaking in a strange language--a language that sounded like English. She wondered why everybody was speaking like that because she had never been to England or America, and then she recalled that she must have been very small, because everybody else looked huge and she clung to her mother's hand for safety. "It was an art gallery," thought Eugenia with delight. "There was a Chinese couple there from the U.N. and their English was poor. Her mother, to more clearly express to them her opinion of the paintings on exhibit mixed her words and said, "The artist is a chien-chien shea-o."

Eugenia screamed in the lowest Kee dialect, "You f.u.c.king son of a b.i.t.c.h!" and ran as fast as she could to catch up with Bein-Pai. When she drew along side of him, she shouted in his ear, "You worthless lump of man! I am not an amateur! I'm the best b.l.o.w.j.o.b in the world! I got an eighty-year-old man hard six times a day."

Bein-Pai giggled, smirked, and then said, "No! Chien-chien shea-o!"

Eugenia shouted, "You'll never know for sure!"

When they entered the gate in Henan's old mud wall, the young monk cautioned, "Do not speak, Kee! Stop bragging about your ability as a c.o.c.k-sucker and walk like a woman warrior. We have to make a good impression at all times."

"There's absolutely no one here. The town is deserted!"

"No!" said Bein-Pai, selecting a doorway and entering it. When Eugenia followed, she discovered a table set for two with a hot meal waiting. After they ate, she asked, "Where are the people? I want to thank them!"

"They're hiding!"

"Why?"

"Because they're scared."

"Of you, right? You killed a lot of people!"

"No! I never did that until I went to Vietnam!"

"Then what are they scared of?"

"You!" said Bein-Pai. "You're a beginner, and beginners are dangerous."

Thirty miles further on, Eugenia began to chant "I want to suck your Joy Stick! I want to suck your Joy Stick!" Bein-Pai paid absolutely no attention to her. She yanked at his sleeve and said, "Why aren't you chanting along with me?"

"Because nowhere in this universe is it ordained that I suck yours."

"You can lick me down there!"

"The only thing I intend to do is spank you. You're slowing me up! I should have counted another day into our trip. You're too weak, too slow, and too lazy to make the monastery by nightfall!"

"Pigs.h.i.t!" said Eugenia. "I'll race you there."

"Okay!" said Bein-Pai. Eugenia took in a big breath of air and ran as fast and hard as she could to the next rise. When she got there, she stopped and shouted, "Ha! Ha! I beat you!" Bein-Pai was nowhere in sight. She couldn't see him on the road the stretched straight below her. She called his name several times, and even retraced her steps to search for him unsuccessfully behind the fallen boulders that lined both shoulders of the road. Finally, in exasperation, she shouted, "Bein-Pai! Stop playing games. I don't know where the monastery is!" There was still no answer and when, after half an hour's wait, he did not appear, she shouted with tears in her eyes, "f.u.c.k you, Bein-Pai! I'll find the school myself."

Steeling herself, she continued on toward the distant peak, chanting, "n.o.body is ever going to f.u.c.k me again unless he's as handsome as a Shar Yip." The minutes turned into hours and she began to lose confidence in herself. She breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted a farmer in a field below the road. She shouted to him, "h.e.l.lo! I'm looking for a place called ..." but he disappeared from view before her voice reached him. Making her way down through the rows of barley, as she was sure that he hadn't heard her, she found him quivering spasmodically, his face pressed into the earth, his hands covering his ears. "Sir," she said, "Could you ..."

The man moaned, "Go away! Please!"

Figuring that she had enough trouble of her own without inquiring about his, Eugenia continued on her way, not sure that she was anywhere near the monastery. Two other peasants whom she approached did the same thing as the first. She thought, "It's because of my braid! They think I'm Bein-Pai. I'll sneak up on the next one so he can tell I'm just a harmless girl."

She didn't see another living soul until she reached an area rich with evergreens. Two girls her age were weeding a vegetable patch. Eugenia ducked behind a rock and then sneaked toward them through a field of wheat. One looked in her direction and said loudly to the other, "Do you hear something out of place? I think a stranger is approaching!"

"One stranger! It sounds like an army, or have they finally extended a trunk of the railway from Henan to here?"

"Please," said Eugenia, stepping out of concealment, "don't be afraid!"

The two girls started to giggle. "But," continued Eugenia, "I'm lost. I'm supposed to go to a school. The Monastery with Three Entrances! Is that far from here?"

The girls covered their faces and giggled even louder. Eugenia pleaded, "Please! Can you tell me how to get there?" When they didn't reply she said in French, "Dumb broads!" and started back up to the road, thinking, "Stupid, stuck-up girls! Just like the sn.o.bs at the Ecole de St. Marie. They wouldn't tell me where the school was if I was standing right in front of it!" She spun around to face them and said, "Ha! Ha!" then yanked on her braid which was exactly like theirs and bore the same filigreed gold ring. She thumbed her nose at them, and then turned to discover the finial of the tallest paG.o.da of the monastery rising above the trees before her. She made her way toward it.

The huge stone warriors greeted her like long-lost friends, and when she saw their immense Joy Sticks, she began to giggle just like the girls in the vegetable patch. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a running figure that disappeared around a bend in the fortress-like wall. "Ah, hah!" she said. "Bein-Pai!"

She was so relieved that she had found the place on her own, she skipped happily over to the ma.s.sive door, actually expecting to find a b.u.t.ton to push to announce her presence. Laughing at her own stupidity, she reached up and yanked on the ta.s.seled rope in the niche. When the sound of the ancient bronze bell reverberated back to her, she giggled again and, with a naughty expression on her face, began to play an English rock tune on the rope, almost doubling up with laughter as the sound of her efforts seemed to cascade over the entire mountain range.

She returned to the guardian warriors to wait for somebody to come to the door, and after five minutes when no one appeared, climbed one, using its Joy Stick as a foothold to see if she could peer over the wall. It wasn't high enough. Returning to the ground, she began to lose confidence. The only signs of life were her footprints in the freshly raked sand; "Ah, ha," she thought. "I hope they don't make the students do that every morning. Probably, but only if you do something bad. Pigs.h.i.t! How did Bein-Pai get in?"

She began to giggle again and shouted gleefully, "Of course! The Monastery with Three Entrances!" Still giggling, she ran in the direction that she saw the figure go, and then stopped suddenly and looked back in puzzlement. There was only one set of footprints--her own. She thought, "Now how did that wise guy do that?"

Carefully adjusting her weight on her left foot, she eased her right forward so that it touched the sand as gently as a feather. Withdrawing it quickly, she noticed that it still made an impression, but a shallower one. She proceeded forward carefully, glancing behind after each step to see if she had made any improvement. The impressions of her tiny feet were still very obvious, but not as blatant as before. The procedure became a little game and she continued on, chanting, Chien-chien shea-o, over and over again. By the time she had gone halfway around the monastery wall, she had learned to adjust her balance so that only the faintest record of her pa.s.sing was left in the sand.

She was so pleased with herself that she had forgotten she was looking for a way into the fortress that loomed above her. It wasn't until she turned back and looked down to check her progress for the seven hundredth time that she noticed she was standing in a pool of sunshine, and that the shade of the wall was broken by an open gate. With full confidence, she turned and entered a delightful-looking courtyard surrounding a lily pond. The water rippled as a golden carp broke the surface, and she ran forward to get a better look at it.

Bein-Pai's voice came to her. He said, softly, "Eugenia!"

She turned and looked up to discover him standing above on a balcony. Next to him stood a man with chalk gray hair, wrapped in a white robe, who looked older than the monastery itself. When he spoke, it was as if the very ground she stood upon was speaking. He said, simply, "h.e.l.lo, Eugenia Florette."

The next thing she knew, Bein-Pai was gone from the balcony and standing before her, his big c.o.c.k fully exposed to view. "Now you may suck it," he said, in a language that she clearly understood. "Take my Joy Stick deep into your mouth and show our Old Master your skill."

Obligingly, she knelt before the handsome young man and wrapped both small hands around his distended Joy Stick. She kissed the head, then licked it, wetting the surface just enough that she could then slip the entire organ into her mouth and give her friend the feeling of being swallowed whole, a feeling she knew would impress him.

He pressed forward, indicating his rising heat, and Eugenia sucked him all into her mouth, the tip of him pressing ever-so-close to the back of her throat. For a moment she thought she would gag, but then, as if by magic, her throat seemed to open more and more to accommodate the organ, and Bein-Pai pushed the length of his Joy Stick deep into her throat. Eugenia sucked him as he stuffed her mouth full, amazed at how very deep she was able to accommodate him. The Old Master watched as his disciple's huge c.o.c.k rammed so far down the newcomer's throat that only his Golden Orbs could be seen. Her ability to suck and lick the rod even though it was so tightly crammed into her mouth set Bein-Pai's b.a.l.l.s on fire, and within moments he offered her his blessed e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e to initiate her first moments at the Monastery with Three Entrances.

As a stream of creamy dew spurted from the monk's c.o.c.k into Eugenia's mouth, she swallowed each drop until there was no more. Bein-Pai affectionately patted her head, helped her to her feet, and motioned for her to look upward at the Old Master, who still stood on the balcony. Her eyes moved toward him, and she was awed when she noticed his Joy Stick standing up like a small tree rising from his robe. It was a c.o.c.k so huge and hard that it seemed almost impossible for such an ancient man. But in her new home, the Monastery with Three Entrances, nothing was impossible when it came to s.e.x. Nothing.

The elder once again spoke to Eugenia. "Welcome home, little sister," he said. "Welcome home."