Kung Fu Nuns Part 17

"f.u.c.k no!" said Bobby. "You mean rape her. You know what they do to you here in Thailand for that. They don't give you food stamps and put you on a work release program."

"Bobby," said Spence, "you rape someone? When that little honey gets sight of your pretty broad chest with all the curly hair on it she's going to cream in her knickers! I mean, man, how can any woman resist you? She'll be begging you to stuff her tight t.w.a.t with your huge wad."

Bobby was not totally convinced, even after he had smoked the entire ounce of Malaysian Red that Spence had purchased, and all six of the attendants had tongue bathed him at once. All six of the bathroom beauties had focused their attentive tongues on Bobby's body. One licked his ear, another his toe. One flicked her tongue under his Golden Orbs, one sucked his c.o.c.k, and another tongue-f.u.c.ked his rear gate. The sixth girl was sucking on his nipples, an act that apparently filled Bobby with great excitement. Bobby's whole body squirmed and shivered and quivered as the girls worked on him with expertise. Finally, the one in charge of c.o.c.k-sucking won the prize--he came. A huge spurt of joy juice filled her mouth, as he pumped his iron rod in deep, as if squeezing an orange into her oral opening. Finally, Black Sam said, "Let's end it right here and own up to Bobby!"

"Sure!" said the American. "I knew you two were s.h.i.tting me." Spence sat up on the ma.s.sage table and looked Bobby straight in the eyes. "It's fifty thousand cash and two yellow bricks."

"That's almost two million bucks stateside. I knew you two were pulling a fast one. I'd f.u.c.k a dog for two million bucks."

"When I get my pants on, you have a thousand to get you started!"

Chuk Foo Kee was reading when his mother pulled the book out of his hand and slapped him across the head with it. "You pay attention. We getting rid of Beautiful Birthday Present tonight!"

"Mother, you know what I said I'd do if you try to kill her!"

"No try to kill her! Just want to get rid of her. Okay?"

"That's not your way of getting rid of people!"

"Pigs.h.i.t! Easier way no kill, that's what I do. I send for father, take back to Paris. Family here say everything's number one with us. Say good riddance."

Chuk Foo Kee said in astonishment, "The b.a.s.t.a.r.d Christian back in Vietnam? I don't believe it!"

"What you think? I have to pay all his debt! Send ticket! One A.m. Air France flight, she gone."

"They won't let her go! She's Lady Old Boss!"

"When she gone, it too late! You have to help out! Do something like Kee for first time."

"What, Mother?" he asked. "I'll do anything to help her."

She handed Chuk Foo Kee a thick envelope and said, "Give this to Kee w.a.n.g! Tell him that he go Saigon with car to buy her present. Buy her Western records. His d.i.c.k hard for her. He think he next big boss!"

"Why can't you do that?

"Because he get suspicious. He trust you because you not got Golden Orbs."

"And what then, Mother?" asked Chuk Foo Kee suspiciously.

"Later you take her to father. He wait in car by garden. I leave gate open."

"She'll never make it."

"I cause big excitement! She make it!"

"I don't think I want any part of this, Mother!"

"Then go Paris with her. Go in car with her. I call up ticket for you."

"You won't let me do that!"

"Won't let you do that! Why not? You lousy Kee! No Golden Orbs! Get yellow eye, think no one know. Go Paris! I run family," said Elder Niece Kee, wondering which of the many men she had slept with was responsible for the wimp of a man that cowered before her.

Black Sam pointed to the path and said, "It's right up there. You'll find an open gate."

"That's a f.u.c.king jungle, man!"

"It's a f.u.c.king suburban garden in Vietnam. Her mother is waiting for you," snapped Black Sam, before he realized that he made a mistake.

"Her mother?"

"Her mother is in on it, too. She doesn't want him to marry her either. One good f.u.c.k and you're home free. Hurry! What is it you said? She's going to cream in her jeans when she sees you."

"Okay! But the money and the two bricks are waiting for me back in Thailand?"

"The money and the two bricks are in the trunk of the car. We want you out of Asia as soon as possible."

"I read you, man."

When Bobby reached the rear gate of the Kee compound, Elder Niece Kee took him by the hand and whispered, "You very handsome man. She happy f.u.c.k you."

"Your daughter, right?"

"My daughter?" she thought. "What did that a.s.shole tell him?" She whispered, "Sure, sure! I don't speak good English."

Leading him through the compound and up onto the veranda, she whispered, "Last door down there, it open. When you finished I wait here. Take you back car!" Elder Niece Kee waited until she saw him enter the Old Boss's apartments, then hurried back to her own. When she entered, she pointed down at the floor and said, "What's that?"

"My luggage," replied her son.

"You have to run! You can't run with luggage! You buy stuff in Paris! You dumb, you know that? Now come get Beautiful Birthday Present with me! Remember, you tell in French, 'Your father wait by garden for you!'"

Bobby entered the sitting room of the apartment as instructed, and then sneaked carefully into the bedroom. He was still sure that somebody was pulling a fast one, and that the fast one was the fact that the woman who awaited was not as beautiful as Black Sam had said. But when he saw Eugenia, he gasped. She was much more beautiful than her description, and much s.e.xier than he imagined. He sat on the bed next to her and reached over to slide the covers away from her silent figure. She was sleeping fully clothed, the money belt strapped around her waist so that she could make a quick getaway if things turned sour, although she had no idea where to run to.

The young American, so smitten by her beauty, stared at her a long time, until he was startled by a noise. Suddenly terrified, he decided to get the job done as quickly as possible. He reached under her skirt and slid down her panties. Eugenia thought it was a dream at first--the rough fingers poking at her Mystic Place and then the feeling that someone was trying to force her legs apart. It was all too rough, much too rough, but still attuned to the demands of Kee Djung Pau, she spread wide to facilitate entrance. When she was penetrated fully, her eyes opened, and she found a strange bearded face peering down at her, its mouth gasping as its owner drove deep into her like a piston. She screamed.

"What the f.u.c.k?" said Chuk Foo Kee in the outer room.

"Sssh!" whispered his mother. "You just tell run to father!" Chuk Foo Kee froze in place. Elder Niece Kee made the bedroom in two swift strides as Bobby shouted, "You f.u.c.king little c.u.n.t! You bit me!"

His Joy Stick was still inside Eugenia giving Elder Niece Kee full access to his dangling Golden Orbs. She slipped a small, bamboo-hilted, case-hardened seaman's knife out of her sleeve, and in once quick thrust, stabbed Bobby in the back, nicking his heart with the knife. Bobby stood full height, clutched at his heart, and then fell free of the bed, showering Eugenia with blood before he screamed out in agony. Eugenia, free of his weight, screamed even louder, leaped out of the bed, and ran toward he door. Chuk Foo Kee, unaware of the events that had just transpired, grabbed at her as she pa.s.sed and shouted in French, "Your father's waiting by the garden!"

He didn't even know if she heard him, but that was the direction she took. He started after her and then hesitated. His hand felt both sticky and wet at the same time. When he studied it in the moonlight, he discovered it was covered with blood. Looking up, he found his mother before him. She pressed the small knife in his hand and wiped her blood-soaked fingers on his sleeve. He spat at her. "You b.i.t.c.h! You tricked me. You're going to kill her!"

Clutching the knife as a weapon, he ran off after Eugenia, hoping it wasn't too late to save her, which was exactly what his mother expected him do to. As the Kee bodyguards appeared with guns drawn, and the doors of the other apartments began to open, she called out to the curious Kees: "My son catch mongrel pigs.h.i.t slave f.u.c.king hairy gwai lo monster. Who say son have no Golden Orbs. He stab s.l.u.t's boyfriend in bottom of heart. Beautiful Birthday Present pale-face lover now die. Family no lose face." As she spoke, Bobby stumbled out of the Old Boss's door, still grasping his heart, his trousers down around his ankles. He missed the veranda step completely and fell flat on his face in the courtyard. Elder Niece Kee laughed, "No touch. Let die slowly! Good fun for family honor! My son now catch Beautiful Birthday Present! Even slower death for her!"

She turned and ran off toward the garden. The Aunties who had awoken and the bodyguards ran to the form of the dying American, stood over him, and started questioning him in French, Vietnamese, and Chinese, "She pay you come here! What the story! You tell, we get doctor!" They would have done just that to make a case against Elder Niece Kee so he could testify against her in family court, but since he could only moan in English--a language none of them knew--he died slowly, without shedding any light on the situation.

When the whole family was awake, the men armed and set about to search the area because they were just as anxious to question Eugenia as they had been to interrogate the dead American at their feet. Elder Niece Kee appeared again from the garden path, carrying a bucket and an object in her hand which, when she entered the lighted courtyard, was revealed to be the head of a young girl. She let it hang by its braids and shouted, "My son no good Kee! He kill too fast! Chop off head."

As she spoke, Chuk Foo Kee emerged from the darkness covered with blood. "Right, Son?" she asked.

He nodded, tears in his eyes. "Now," she said, "I stick mongrel head in pigs.h.i.t for eternity." She placed the bucket on the ground, dropped in the severed head, and, lifting up her skirt, squatted over it.

CHAPTER TEN.

Uncle Ma had heard about the long-awaited death of Kee Djung Pau while he was still in Hong Kong, but he wasn't informed of the murder of Beautiful Birthday Present until one of the Kee relatives picked him up at the airport in Saigon. He, of course, blamed himself for everything, although he hadn't lingered in Red China and had headed back to Vietnam directly after visiting the monastery. He thought, "If I could have delayed my trip one week, she would still be alive. Alive! Even if I had to kill Elder Niece Kee!"

That thought was on his mind as the car turned off the road leading to the family compound. "f.u.c.k all! Now, without remorse, I can easily drown her and her son in a bucket of pigs.h.i.t!"

The cousin at the wheel of the Mercedes didn't have to read his mind before remarking, "Some more death in the family tonight!"

"What the h.e.l.l?" bellowed Uncle Ma, as the car halted just inside the main gate. The area now looked like an army base, with Kee bodyguards sporting automatic weapons lined up in defensive positions along the entrance. His eyes had tried to fix on the Old Boss's quarters, but in their place was a deep, freshly dug pit.

The driver said, "No one find Old Boss's money. Elder Niece Kee think you took."

"That's ridiculous. I don't even know where he kept it. No one did!" The next words hung in his mouth. "Except his wife!" He lightened up considerably when he envisioned a scenario in which Eugenia was murdered before anyone realized that she was the only one left alive who knew where the old man's millions were stashed. Then he had the even more delightful thought that the young girl herself may have hidden all of his a.s.sets before being done away with. A broad smile appeared on his face. His own future, he knew, was not in jeopardy, as he was the only left with access to the overseas money.

Elder Niece Kee was seated on a straight-backed chair outside her door, waiting for him. As soon as he got out of the car, she motioned him toward her with a forward wave of her hand, but he ignored her and went directly to his own apartment. His slave, now well trained, was waiting naked just inside the door, with her tongue extended. He only let her kiss his Joy Stick before dropping his luggage. "I think I'll hold my pleasure in abeyance. I'd rather have a cold drink and relax. I have a bit of killing to do this afternoon."

"Better just get good b.l.o.w.j.o.b. You're not killing anyone. Family decided Elder Niece Kee the big boss now. Only one with Golden Orbs around here," said his wife, who, while he was away, had developed an obsessive fondness for their jointly shared love slave and her delicious Mystic Place.

It was then he learned that Kees the world over, upon learning how Elder Niece Kee double-crossed her own son and staged Beautiful Birthday Present's infidelity by importing a foreigner to rape her, decided that she was the only one in the family truly deserving of the t.i.tle, "Old Mother." They gave her the power of life and death over the whole clan, and agreed that he, Old Uncle Ma, was a totally useless parasite polluted by his education in the West to be done with as she saw fit.

Shrunken with defeat and devoid of all courage, he hurried out of his house and across the veranda to kowtow before the old woman and kiss her foot. She smiled and then said, "Where the f.u.c.k Kee Djung Pau's money?"

"Somewhere in his bedroom, I a.s.sumed."

"Treasure hole empty. You take?"

"You know I didn't!"

"How much he give you go trip?"

"One million dollars. For monks in China."

"Stand up, Uncle Ma!" she said. "You big a.s.shole and lousy Kee. You stupid enough to give money monks and not steal like real man!"

Before rising, he said, "You can do with me as you wish. But I only ask to be allowed to retire. To stay out of your hair. To live in the United States."

"All Kee soon live in the United States. Things bad here in Asia."

Slowly gaining his feet again he said, "We've never gotten along. I'd think it better ..."

"Pigs.h.i.t better! Old Boss smart. Make you business manager because you no steal. Who I'm going to hire? Notary from Saigon? You work for me now."

"And keep my mouth shut!"

"Keep your mouth shut protect yourself. All the cousins want you dead if they learn you love pigs.h.i.t mongrel just like my no-b.a.l.l.s son. Now give Boss Lady kiss on cheek. I make dinner for you tonight! Special dinner!"

As directed, he planted a kiss on Elder Niece Kee's cheek. He then asked, "When's the funeral?"

She spat, "Old Boss funeral? We dump him in river and fill his tomb with pigs.h.i.t!"

As he turned to go back to his quarters, she said, "You tell me where his money is, you can go States now!"

"I only wish I knew! I only wish I knew!"

Uncle Ma had to get drunk that night. He sat at a place of honor next to Elder Niece Kee as each member of the family proudly told their version of the story of how she, after tricking her own son, killed the gwai lo, and then Beautiful Birthday Present. When he finally fell into his own bed, nothing his wife or his slave did aroused the slightest bit of interest from his Joy Stick. They pestered him so much that he took a pillow and a blanket and went into the living room, finally falling asleep on the couch and letting them comfort each other with the matching ivory d.i.l.d.os that he'd had made for them in Beijing. The two women fully enjoyed their explorations of each other's Mystic Place, but they missed Uncle Ma's male organ. He just wasn't interested in s.e.x. The world had turned too black! He did not drink in the days that followed, but took on the appearance of a man past his years, showing little interest in anything, even shaving, and spent his time on the couch speaking to no one except Elder Niece Kee, and only when she summoned him. His body began to ache all over, and he found himself rising several times during the night to relieve himself, as his body didn't function in its regular manner. His only thoughts were the descriptions so ably provided by Elder Niece Kee and her son Chuk Foo Kee, of Eugenia's last, terror-filled moments.

When he felt a hand on his shoulder, well after midnight, he brushed it away. He thought it was only the slave, who was now terrified that she had lost all allure and would be sold into a wh.o.r.ehouse, or even worse, sent back to her village; she had tried time and time again to make him become erect, so he naturally a.s.sumed it was his slave once again. When the hand returned to its place on his shoulder, he struck out in anguish, only to discover his wrist held in a viselike grip. Even then he tried to sleep, to ignore the reality, but a strange, soft voice asking, "Mr. Ma?" caused him to open his eyes. Standing before him was a handsome young man in the dress of a Vietnamese peasant. "Are you Mr. Ma?"

Uncle Ma replied with a nod.

The young man then said, "I've come for poor Eugenia and I can't find her."

Uncle Ma fell to his knees and begged, "Please forgive me! I'm totally worthless. I'm sc.u.m like the rest of them."

The young man put his finger to his lips and motioned toward the bedroom. He then whispered, "You know who I am?"

"You've come from the Old Master! That's the only thing that kept me from killing myself these last few days. Salvation! The Shar Yips."

The young monk helped Uncle Ma to his feet and then said, "I think you need a drink."

Shakily, Uncle Ma replied, "It would have been so easy. Liquor! Opium! But that wasn't me. I had to suffer."

"May I have a drink then?"

"You?"

"I've come a long way. You have some good scotch. The Old Master won't let us anywhere near his bottle."

Uncle Ma staggered into the small kitchen carrying the bottle, and hurriedly got two gla.s.ses. The Shar Yip followed him and asked, "Do you have ice?"

"Yes! How did you get in here? Are the guards sleeping?"

"They are now!" said the Shar Yip.

"They are now?"