Kore wa Zombie desu ka? Vol 6 Chapter 1.2

VOLUME 6

Chapter 1: Part 2

Everything can be given a rarity.

And really, there are three cla.s.ses of rarity: common (you can find it everywhere), uncommon (you can’t find it everywhere), and rare (you almost can’t find it anywhere). And the rarer something is, the more valuable it is.

You can apply this logic not only to things, but also to events.

As for me, I had three freeloaders in my house: the magic-user and masou shoujo Haruna who came from another world, the necromancer Yuu who had come from the underworld, and the vampire ninja Sera who had been in j.a.pan since ancient times. Everything had began when I was killed, but to put it simply, this was quite a “rare” experience, and I had become quite a “rare” combination of both a zombie and a masou shoujo. These rare experiences must be quite valuable. They almost brought me to tears.

I was forced to go on these random monster-exterminating missions and was led around by the nose by these girls, and I found that once you got used to rare experiences, they just became common. But just when I was about to lose the ability to feel the novelty in anything anymore, a quite strange thing happened.

I would like to go to the pool.

It wasn’t Haruna or Sera who uttered those words… no, it was Yuu.

I was so used to seeing Yuu just sitting in our living room, drinking tea, and watching TV. This was the first time she had written me a memo about wanting to go anywhere. Maybe she was still thinking about Haruna’s claim that all she did was sit in one place. Yeah, I definitely wanted to take her to the pool…

But, I wasn’t very knowledgeable when it came to places of leisure like that, so I ended up asking my cla.s.smate Orito for advice on where to go.

When I did that, I heard that there was a newly-built pool that was holding quite a rare event, so we ended up going to that pool immediately.

They had a warm-water pool, a flowing pool, a water slide, a waterfall… it was quite a well-equipped pool, with all the amenities you could possibly want.

I was lying sprawled out on a plastic deck chair (which was pretty impossible to actually sleep in, by the way), and waiting for Yuu to finish changing.

“Aikawaaa, what’s up with that pose? You’re the worst.”

This dull-looking guy with the spiky hairstyle and gla.s.ses was Orito, and he was shaking his head while looking down at me. He was wearing what looked disgustingly like a “prince on a white horse” outfit. Wow, dressing up like an endangered species like that…

Anyways, this guy was my cla.s.smate, and was a genuinely average human with no rarity at all. He was the only person who knew where this place was, so I brought him along. That was the only reason.

“What’s wrong with wearing a swimsuit at the pool?”

The event that this pool was holding was something like a costume party. Even the lifeguards and shopkeepers were in cosplay. There were even people in what looked close to bikini armor or naked ap.r.o.n outfits here, enjoying the pool.

But it’s not like you had to put on a costume to be here.

I really should’ve asked about this beforehand. If I knew this was a cosplay event, then I wouldn’t have come.

But well… you could cosplay and go into a pool and n.o.body would get mad at you. I guess that did sound a bit fun.

“Aikawa Aikawa, if you don’t enjoy yourself here, then you won’t have many other chances to cosplay.”

I see. To all these other people, just being able to cosplay counted as a rare event.

But to me… to me, cosplay was… ugh, I could feel the tears coming!

As if I was about to do some abdominal exercises, I suddenly found a basketball-sized beach ball thrown on top of my stomach. There was only one person I knew who could launch an attack as sudden as this.

“Ayumu! It’s pretty amazing here!”

She had chestnut hair and big catlike eyes. This tiny girl, who only was 1.54m tall, gave me a smile.

Usually, I would’ve yelled at her in a situation like this.

But, instead I had my breath taken away. I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by this girl wearing a pair of shorts above her swimsuit.

Her ahoge waved back and forth above her chestnut hair. And I a.s.sumed that the long tail that was wagging behind her shorts was part of her cosplay outfit.

Her white skin was even more dazzling than normal, and her slender arms and small b.u.t.t were quite attractive. Her soft-looking thighs and calves also gave her quite a suitable amount of charm for a girl her size.

And then, there were her small, modest b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which were apologetically a.s.serting themselves on her… hm?

“W-What are you doing… stop staring.”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, almost as if she was trying to launch a Cross Arm Dive (1), and then she stared at me. Well, I admittedly was looking her up and down and all over right then, so I guess I can’t blame her for reacting like this. Even now, I’m just continuing to stare at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

“Were your b.r.e.a.s.t.s really that big before?”

“I-I tied them up a bit!”

Ah, I see. When I saw Haruna with her lips thinned and her cheeks flushed like that, I really lost my desire to get angry at her.

“But she sure does have small b.r.e.a.s.t.s…”

Orito said that casually. Well, fine, but I didn’t care about that. And Orito should’ve stopped right there.

“Having small b.r.e.a.s.t.s is pretty rare, but also pretty worthless…”

I gave Orito a compa.s.sionate look. That was a fatal mistake. Meanwhile, Haruna put her hands on each shoulder of Orito’s prince outfit, and…

“Don’t screw with meeeee!!”

A ripping sound echoed through the air, and she tore his outfit from top to bottom without an ounce of mercy. Orito hugged his body and collapsed to the ground in tears, like a girl who was about to get s.e.xually a.s.saulted.

“T-That was a rental…”

That’s why he was crying?! I guess I should get angry at Haruna here too, but I really couldn’t sympathize with Orito’s opinion that little b.r.e.a.s.t.s were worthless.

“I don’t have little b.r.e.a.s.t.s! I’m better built than that!”

“So, what do you have then?”

“Eh?” Haruna opened her eyes wide and seemed a bit troubled before putting one hand on her hips and showing me a satisfied smile and a guts pose with her other tightly clenched fist.

“I have low-fat b.r.e.a.s.t.s!”

… So, I guess that’s more healthy for your body or something? But then, Haruna let out a little yelp. I followed her gaze, and saw a girl wearing a school swimsuit.

It was the cute necromancer who had turned me into a zombie. But she looked a bit different than usual today in that outfit.

That was pretty common. School swimsuits could be found anywhere. But, if you add in the silver hair to that, it became uncommon. And if you add in the gauntlets, it became rare!

Her form burned into my eyes more brightly than the light from a million suns.

Her silver hair fluttered in the wind, and she stood there still with no expression on her face.

Her voluminous, flowing hair spread out behind her. She didn’t have any expression, but I could see just a tinge of red in her ears and cheeks. She had small, weak arms, but they formed a stark contrast to those gauntlets she had equipped. And that school swimsuit that enveloped her innocent body was just divine! And best of all was that “Yuu” that was printed on top of those small bulges on her chest. Those just sent sparks running through my brain.

Small b.r.e.a.s.t.s! Go! Fight! Go! Fight!

Actually, Yuu had to use those gauntlets to seal the special powers she had, so I guess she wouldn’t be able to go to a pool normally.

If there hadn’t been a cosplay event going on here, I probably wouldn’t have been able to witness such a sight.

Ahh, how wonderful! This was just super rare. I didn’t really know what “super rare” really meant concretely, but either way, it was really valuable.

“This one’s my win!”

Haruna looked really proud of herself, and she was staring right at Yuu’s chest and the “Yuu” lettering printed on top of her swimsuit. Yuu continued to show no emotion, but she did form a cross with her arms above her bust.

Ahh, watching Yuu acting embarra.s.sed was also the best. Sera might call me a perv right now, but I honestly don’t care. Also, where was her plate armor? Was it really okay for her to not have that on?

“Hmph, you’re three cups too early to try and win against me!”

Don’t you mean “a hundred years too early?” Ugh, you make no sense. Also, there wasn’t that much of a difference. Haruna put her hands on her hips and bent her body backwards so that her face was looking up at the sky, and began to laugh uproariously. But at that point, we heard the sound of water, and we found our gazes locked to one spot in the pool.

When I say “we” here, I meant almost every single person here at the warm-water pool.

After all, those limbs were just that incredible. They could draw anybody’s attention in a heartbeat.

“h.e.l.lscythe-dono, you have come out at last. That uniform looks quite nice on you.”

A vampire ninja was climbing out of the pool, with her beautiful body and wet black hair for all to see.

Both Orito and Haruna opened their mouths wide, completely dazed.

Sera brushed up her wet hair, and then bent down to pick up her towel… ooohhh!!

Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s looked way bigger than when she was in her normal clothes. No, it wasn’t just her b.r.e.a.s.t.s… it was more the balance of her entire body. From her collarbone to her cleavage to those lines in her waist… her lean, toned body was filled out in all the right places. She was like a work of art.

Forget fighting over little b.r.e.a.s.t.s and big b.r.e.a.s.t.s… the ones that everyone could agree on were just “beautiful b.r.e.a.s.t.s.” They were only uncommon in terms of rarity, but they were just as valuable as rare objects.

I’ve heard rumors that all vampire ninjas had great bodies, but it seemed that rumor might be true.

“That’s your loss. You can’t compete with that at all.”

Orito looked at Haruna and sent her a scornful chuckle. Haruna took Orito’s torn prince outfit and straightened it once, before shouting a battle cry and ripping it left to right.

“T-Those b.r.e.a.s.t.s! She just tied them up!”

Isn’t Haruna the one who did that?

Haruna ignored Yuu’s retort. I never expected Yuu to try to retort like that, so maybe she really was a bit frustrated at losing the breast compet.i.tion with Haruna?

Sera seemed to be the only one confused, and she c.o.c.ked her head to the side.

“What are we talking about?”

“About how s.e.xy your body is.”

“Ayumu, that’s s.e.xual hara.s.sment. Go take a s.e.xtant and hara-kiri yourself.”

“What are you telling me to do with a s.e.xtant?!”

“Don’t worry! I’ll help with the execution! There won’t even be a speck of dust left!”

Haruna’s ahoge jumped excitedly back and forth, but I ignored her.

Orito took a camera out of his bag, seeming to want to memorialize this moment in film.

“By the way, Aikawa, why did you want to come to the pool all of a sudden? You missed every single swim cla.s.s at school.”

“Yuu told me she wanted to go.”

I sent Yuu a kind smile. If Yuu and not Haruna asked me to take her somewhere, I’d go to the ends of the earth to make sure she got there. I was a zombie, so sunlight made me weak and faint. So I couldn’t go into the school pool. But I still wanted to make Yuu’s wishes come true, so I waited for a cloudy day for this. But…

I never said such a thing.

Huh? I double-checked the memo that Yuu had just held out. What did she mean?

“If I recall correctly, it was definitely Haruna who said she wanted to go.”

Sera crossed her arms and placed her index finger on her lips. Certainly, it seemed more like Haruna to say something like this.

Wait… don’t tell me… this memo was…

“Ayumu, did you know? There’s a rare monster called ‘Nessie’ here!”

Haruna had faked the memo?! She had predicted that I wouldn’t pay attention to the request if I thought it had come from her, so she made it seem like Yuu had said it! Stop being a genius in all the wrong ways!

“You pretended to be Yuu, didn’t you?”

“You just noticed that? Use your head a bit more, ugh. Why would the gloomy necromancer ever say she wanted to go somewhere? Nyahaha, I’ll definitely be the one to capture Nessie!”

So, everything had been planned by this genius masou shoujo?!

“You should also think a bit more. Nessie is called Nessie because she lives in the Loch Ness. There’s no way she’s here.”

“S-She is! She’s definitely here!”

Exactly what gave her so much confidence as to be able to say that?

I was a bit p.i.s.sed that I had been tricked, but I guess it was pointless to raise a fuss about it now that we were already here.

It was just too troublesome to pay too much attention to Haruna here, so I just let out a single sigh and decided to enjoy this day at the pool.

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) One of Nam’s attacks from Dragonball.