Just William: William At War Part 6

'A' right,' said the boy, and he set off with unexpected agility in the direction of the garage.

'Now we've gotter put wet handkerchiefs over our faces,' said William, 'an' get the syringe thing full and then fight our way in through the smoke. Ginger 'n' me'll put out the fire, an' Henry an' Douglas can rescue the people. I 'spect they'll be unconscious. I 'spect you'll have to squirt water on 'em and drag 'em out . . . It's jolly dangerous an' I 'spect that other lot of A.F.S.'ll get here too late to help. I 'spec we'll get medals or somethin'.'

It took longer than they thought to adjust the wet handkerchiefs. At last they were ready, however, and, armed with syringe and pail of water, headed by William, they marched up to the door.

William flung it open.

Clouds of white vapour enveloped him. Almost at the same time a door into the room from the house side opened and the figure of a woman entered. They could see it dimly through the thick vapour. Ginger pointed the syringe at it and squirted. He explained afterwards that his whole mind was set on squirting and somehow he couldn't help squirting at the first thing he saw move.

The woman gave a loud scream. It was a scream of anger and indignation. It was definitely not the grateful scream of someone being rescued from a fire. Instinctively the Outlaws drew back, and at that moment the A.F.S. from Hadley Garage arrived. The messenger had been a fleeter runner than he looked and had met them at the gate just starting out, completely equipped, for a mobility exercise. They had driven straight to the address given them by the spectacled small boy. Section Officer Perkins appeared at the door. Behind him was a fireman holding the nozzle of a hose, the other end of which was being attached to the nearest hydrant.

With the opening of the door the atmosphere was gradually clearing. It showed a kettle boiling vigorously on a gas ring. It showed a large woman, standing arms akimbo and glaring angrily at Section Officer Perkins. Her face was dripping with water from Ginger's syringe, but somehow that did not detract from the awful impressiveness of her appearance.

'How dare you!' she thundered.

'I I beg your pardon,' stammered Section Officer Perkin's.

'I said "How dare you!"

'I I I don't know what you mean!' spluttered Section Officer Perkins. 'I I-'

'I shall report you to headquarters,' went on the woman. 'As if I hadn't got enough trouble today. First that girl puts the kettle on and forgets all about it for over half an hour.' She turned and switched off the gas with a sudden vicious gesture. 'Gas bills mean nothing to her . . . And then you and your lot come larking along. Let me tell you, young man, I can take a joke as well as anyone, but I don't call this a joke. I've heard of your sort and I think it's time a stop was put to it. You've chosen the wrong house to come to with your tom-fool tricks and I shall report you to headquarters this minute. Larking into respectable folks' houses and turning your hose-pipes on to them.'

'I I never turned the hose-pipe on to you,' protested the Section Officer indignantly.

'Am I wet or am I not?' demanded the woman, turning her portly person to him for his inspection. There wasn't any doubt at all that she was wet. Her hair was wet, her face was wet, her ample bosom was wet. 'And,' she went on without waiting for his answer, 'you've got the impudence to say you never turned the hose-pipe on me.'

'I I I never did!' said Section Officer Perkins again.

'Funny thing, isn't it?' she said sarcastically.

The steam had now mostly found its way out or hung in beads of moisture on the walls and ceiling of the little spick-and-span scullery. 'Funny thing to come in here, and get a squirt of water in my face and then look round and find you standing there with your hose-pipe. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. A man of your age larking about like a schoolboy! You deserve the sack and I hope you get it.'

'Madam,' said the Section Officer desperately, aware of his firemen sn.i.g.g.e.ring behind him, 'I protest. I got a message that there was a fire here and I came along.'

'That's a nice tale,' said the woman. 'Who sent the message and why need you start squirting me in the face the minute you get here?'

Section Officer Perkins looked round. There was no one there but his own A.F.S. squad. William had long ago quietly withdrawn his band under cover of the steam before anyone had realised their presence.

'I can't understand what happened,' he said. 'A boy brought a message that there was a fire here and we were needed at once, and, as for turning on the hose, the very idea's ridiculous.'

'So you say,' said the woman darkly. 'I prefer to believe my eyes. And now that's enough of your sauce, young man. Off you go or you won't be the only one throwing water in people's faces. Off you go and take your grinning monkeys with you. I've got work to do if you haven't.'

With that she pushed him back and slammed the door in his face. Section Officer Perkins drove slowly back to his station. His face was set and stern. He looked like an extremely dignified young man whose dignity has been sorely affronted. As he pa.s.sed the piece of waste ground next to the garage he drove very slowly indeed, fixing his gaze intently on William and the Outlaws. They were, however, engaged on the innocent task of cleaning the wheelbarrow with the air of having been hard at work on it all morning.

Section Officer Perkins went into his office looking thoughtful.

As soon as the A.F.S. had disappeared through the garage gates, William laid aside the handkerchief, with which he had been making a pretence of polishing the wheels, and heaved a sigh of relief.

'That's all right,' he said. 'Gosh! I was afraid they'd 've found out. Well, goodness me! It wasn't our fault. It looked like a fire. How was anyone to know? I bet they'd 've thought it was a fire all right. I bet they'd 've squirted her, too . . . Corks! Wasn't she mad! It was a jolly good thing there was all that mist about so's they didn't see us.'

'Wouldn't he be mad if he knew!' chuckled Ginger.

'Yes,' said Douglas, 'but he's not likely to find out now.'

But they were wrong. Section Officer Perkins had already found out. Chance had most unkindly delivered the Outlaws into his hand. He was going out to a neighbouring shop for some cigarettes when it happened. He met the small boy who had taken William's message coming out of a sweet shop.

Questioned, he gave a clear and concise account of the circ.u.mstances in which he had been sent to summon the A.F.S. to the 'fire'. He described William and the Outlaws and their fire-fighting equipment in a way that left no room for doubt.

Section Officer Perkins bore down upon the Outlaws just as they were setting out for home. There was a grimly triumphant gleam in his eye. He had made further inquiries since meeting the small boy and had come prepared to give a knock-out blow to his enemies.

They listened with impa.s.sive faces and silent dismay to his short but pointed speech. He had discovered, he said, that it was they who had played the 'disgraceful trick' on him this morning, sending for him to a fire, when they knew perfectly well that there was no fire at all. He had got all their names and addresses and was going to see the father of each of them that evening. He hoped they would be severely punished. If ever he caught them on that piece of waste ground again he would send for the police . . . Then he swung on his heel and went away, smiling to himself. The Outlaws stared after him.

'Corks!' said William at last.

'Crumbs!' said Ginger.

'Gosh!' said Douglas and Henry simultaneously.

'My father'll be mad,' said Ginger. 'He'll never b'lieve we weren't playing a trick on 'em.'

'Neither will mine,' agreed the other Outlaws gloomily.

'We're goin' to get in an awful row,' said William. ''S never any good tellin' my father what really happened. He won't even listen.'

'Neither will mine,' agreed the other Outlaws.

'I shan't mind not comin' here again,' said William. 'I was gettin' tired of it, anyway. I'm sick of jus' drillin' an' dustin' the wheelbarrow I mean the trailer an' that's all they seem to do. I've jolly well had enough of it, an' I'd 've stopped tomorrow anyway, but corks! I'm goin' to have an awful time! My father was mad last night 'cause an old woman came tellin' tales about me breakin' her cuc.u.mber frame. I was only tryin' to hit a tree with a stone. I didn't mean it to go in her old cuc.u.mber frame. Gosh! You should've heard the way he went on at me. He said he was sick of people complainin' an' the nex' time it happened he'd give me somethin' to remember an' I bet he jolly well will, too. He's got an awful temper.'

Gloomily the Outlaws all agreed that their fathers had awful tempers, too.

'D'you think if we went to him and explained . . .' said Ginger.

'No, not him!' said William, who was on the whole a fairly good judge of human nature. 'He wouldn't b'lieve us, anyway, an' he'd jus' enjoy bein' nasty.'

'If we said we were sorry . . .' said Henry tentatively.

'He'd enjoy that still more,' said William, 'an' he'll go'n' complain to our fathers jus' the same whatever we do.'

'I'd jolly well like to give him somethin' to complain of,' said Ginger bitterly.

William looked thoughtful for a few moments, then said slowly: 'Yes . . . that wouldn't be a bad idea . . . That wouldn't be a bad idea at all . . . If I've gotter get into a row I'd rather get into it for doin' somethin' worth doin'. My father couldn't be worse than he's goin' to be, anyway, an' I'd like to do somethin' to get even with old Monkey-face.'

The Outlaws brightened. Better go down with colours flying . . . Better strike a blow at the enemy before yielding to superior force.

'What can we do?' said Douglas.

'Well, that's what we've gotter think out,' said William.

A new animation possessed the little band. Secretly each had been growing bored with such limited scope as their A.F.S. activities allowed them, and welcomed the wider field afforded by a plan of revenge.

'We've gotter find out somethin' about him first,' said William. 'Where he lives an' suchlike. When I have a revenge I like to take a bit of trouble over it. I'm jolly good at revenges,' he ended modestly.

'We'll all have a good think,' said Ginger. 'Anyway, it's nearly one o'clock now an' we'd better go home. 'S no good getting into any more rows. We've all got a jolly big one comin' tonight, anyway.'

'A'right,' said William. 'We'll meet in the ole barn after lunch. Let's all have a jolly good think while we're havin' lunch . . . Hope it's jam roly-poly. I can think better on jam roly-poly than on rice puddin'.'

They met in the old barn soon after two o'clock. By a lucky chance Henry's family had been discussing Section Officer Perkins during lunch and he came primed with news of him.

'He lives at that house called Green Gates jus' outside Hadley an' he's not married-'

''Spect he is, an' murdered her,' put in William darkly.

'An' he's got a housekeeper, but she's had to go home to look after her father what's ill an' he was askin' Mrs Monks if she knew of another an' she said she'd try'n' find him one. He's jus' got a char in the mornings now.'

''Spect he murdered that housekeeper,' said William. 'He'd've murdered us soon as look at us.'

'Well, what're we goin' to do to him?' said Ginger.

'Have our revenge on him,' said William.

'Yes, but how?'

'Well, it wasn't jam roly-poly,' said William, 'but I got a sort of idea.'

'What was it?' said Douglas.

'Suet pudding'n' syrup. Better than rice puddin' anyway.'

'No, I meant the idea.'

'Oh, yes,' said William. 'Well, it's gotter be somethin' to do with the A.F.S. Somethin' to do with a hose or water or somethin'.'

'We've not got a hose,' said Henry, 'an' if we squirted him with a syringe we'd get in a worse row than ever.'

'I was wond'rin' about the bucket of water,' said William.

'What about it?'

'I was wond'rin' if we could fix it up over a door so's it fell down soon as he opened it. I've read of people doin' that. It'd be a jolly good revenge.'

The Outlaws considered the idea with interest. There was something of poetic justice in it that appealed to them. Section Officer Perkins had got them into trouble over water. It was only fair that he should get into trouble himself over water. It would be a glorious and fitting end to the Outlaws' branch of the A.F.S. thus thoroughly to douse the man who had brought about its end.

'Might be difficult to fix up,' said Douglas dubiously.

'We can try, anyway,' said William. 'We can have a jolly good try. I bet it won't be difficult.'

'Well, he's bein' down at the garage all this afternoon,' said Henry. 'I found out that. That'll give us time.'

'We'll have to be careful,' said Douglas.

'Oh, we'll be careful all right,' said William carelessly. 'Corks! When I think of him goin' into that room an' the bucket of water fallin' right over his head . . .'

He chuckled. As usual, he saw the scheme in its finished perfection, magnificently ignoring the intervening details.

Again Douglas looked doubtfully at the bucket.

'It's jolly heavy to carry full of water,' he said. 'I dunno how we're goin' to get it fixed up on top of a door.'

'Oh, we'll find a way,' said William. 'First thing to do is to get it to the house . . . We'll get it there, an' then we'll find a way to fix it up all right. Come on . . . 'S time we started.'

They filled the bucket with water and carried it in turn across the fields to the outskirts of Hadley. As each one took the weight of the bucket he felt secret doubts about the success of the scheme, but William's glorious optimism swept them along with it.

'We c'n stand on a chair,' he said vaguely. 'We'll fix it up all right, once we get it there. I bet it'll be easy fixin' it up, once we get it there.'

They approached Green Gates cautiously from the back, making their way into the garden a neat little garden with an ornamental pond by way of the hedge and sending Ginger on in front to spy out the land.

''S empty all right,' he said when he returned. 'There's no one in it. An' there's a room full of steam same as there was in that cottage this mornin'. He must've left a kettle on, too.'

Still carrying the bucket, they approached nearer. William put down the bucket and stared in at a downstairs window through clouds of eddying smoke.

'Gosh! This is a fire, all right,' he said. 'I can see flames. G'n' ring up the fire station, Henry,' he went on, 'an' I bet we put it out before they come.'

He flung up the window and carefully lifted himself and the bucket of water into the room, then flung the water in the direction of the flame. There was a sizzling sound.

'Good!' said William, half choked with smoke. 'Get some more water from the pond.'

Ginger filled the bucket there and handed it to William through the window. Douglas fought his way into the kitchen and finding another bucket there, filled it at the tap. Gradually the flames died down, leaving a large hole burnt in the carpet, the walls and ceilings blackened.

At that moment the fire brigade arrived. The Outlaws, their faces blackened almost beyond recognition, received them proudly.

'We've put it out,' they said.

The captain entered and looked round the waterlogged room.

'It wasn't much of a fire, of course,' said William modestly, 'but it cert'nly was a fire.'

'Yes, it certainly was a fire,' agreed the captain. His practised eye fell on the groove burnt on the table obviously by a lighted cigarette before it fell on to the carpet.

AT THAT MOMENT THE A.F.S. ARRIVED, HEADED BY SECTION OFFICER PERKINS.

At that moment the A.F.S. arrived, headed by Section Officer Perkins, looking white and tense. The captain met him at the door.

'Well, Perkins,' he said with rather a malicious smile, 'you're just too late. So were we, as a matter of fact . . . You left a lighted cigarette on the table, didn't you?'

'WELL, PERKINS,' SAID THE CAPTAIN WITH RATHER A MALICIOUS SMILE, 'YOU'RE JUST TOO LATE.'

'Y y yes,' stammered Section Officer Perkins. 'I I remembered as soon as the call came through. The telephone went and I put down my cigarette to answer it and then someone came round with a car to give me a lift to the garage and I quite forgot about the cigarette and-'