Just The Way You Are Part 4

"A while ago," Sam said warily.

"I didn't expect her until later."

"She flew all night to get here as fast as she could."

"But she didn't go to the hospital. No, she came here instead. I wonder why."

Hearing the words fly out of her mouth, Alli knew they sounded like an accusation, but she couldn't help it. Why was Tessa here-brushing Megan's hair, chatting it up with Sam-when Grams was in the hospital fighting for her life?

"She thought it was too early to go to the hospital. She didn't realize they'd let family in at any time." Sam took the seat across from her. "Alli, you knew she was coming. Why are you so surprised she's here?"

"I thought I was ready. But it turns out I wasn't. She's still beautiful, isn't she?" Sam didn't look away, but he also didn't give anything away. "Isn't she?" Alli persisted.

"If I say yes, will that make you happy? If I say no, will it be the right answer? Come on, Alli. Tessa's looks aren't the question, and you know it."

"So she just fits right back in, like she never left."

"Maybe that's just the way it is with family."

"Tessa is not family-not anymore. She said it herself when she left. She said she didn't want a sister. And since I feel the same way, I guess we agree on one thing."

"Tessa was hurt. We hurt her," he said, reaching out to cup her chin with his fingers. "You know we did."

She hated that he was right, but he was. And she could even admit it now, although it had taken her years to come to grips with what she'd done. There had always been ways to rationalize it. Tessa could have come home that Christmas. Sam could have said no.

"If anyone has a right to be angry, it's Tessa," Sam added. "I was her boyfriend. You are her sister."

She shook his hand off her face. "Tessa made mistakes, too, Sam. She broke your heart when she didn't come home with you. Yet you blame her for nothing."

"That's not entirely true. And that doesn't excuse what we did."

"I know that. But Tessa wasn't perfect, and I hate that no one else can see that."

He uttered a short, bitter laugh. "No one else can see it? h.e.l.l, Alli, you're the only one who ever thought she was perfect. You couldn't see past Tessa's pretty face. You were so consumed with jealousy, you never saw Tessa for who she really was."

"Because everyone treated her like she was a G.o.ddess visiting us from the top of the universe. And it doesn't look like anything has changed. Before she only had Tucker's Landing to rule, now she has practically the whole d.a.m.n world at her beck and call. Even Megan..." Alli stood up, too restless to stay seated. "Even Megan has joined the ranks of the adoring."

"Megan is excited to meet her aunt. I don't think it would matter if Tessa had warts and a long nose. Megan would still want to meet her, because she's family."

"But she doesn't have warts and a long nose. And Megan wants Tessa to do her hair. How could you let Tessa do her hair?" she asked, her voice catching in her throat.

"I-" He shrugged. "I don't know. I can't make a French braid. And that's what Megan wanted."

His answer was so d.a.m.n logical she wanted to scream.

"You're making too much of this," he added quietly. "You always make too much of things where Tessa is concerned. You've been doing it since you were nine years old. Can't you let anything slide?"

"It's not that easy. You don't know what she does to me."

"I have a pretty good idea," Sam said dryly. "I've refereed more battles between the two of you than I care to remember. But what you have to remember is that Tessa is here because of Phoebe. And that's all that's important."

"I know. I know." Alli pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I just wish Grams was all right and Tessa was on the other side of the world where she belongs."

Frustrated, she picked up the cereal bowl and carried it to the sink. She set it down more forcefully than she should have and it clashed with a gla.s.s, shattering it into several pieces. It was suddenly all too much, her grandmother, Sam, Tessa... Tears flooded Alli's eyes as she leaned against the counter.

A moment later, she felt Sam's hands on her shoulders, rubbing the tight muscles the way he'd done so many times before. It was familiar and loving and painful.

Still, Alli couldn't help leaning back against him. He felt so good, strong, safe. And she needed to feel him with her, behind her, supporting her, even if it was only for a minute.

"So, what now?" she asked with a sigh.

"I think I should take Tessa to the hospital, and you can take Megan to school."

Again, the green-eyed monster raised its ugly head. Of course he wanted to take Tessa, more time alone with his long-lost love.

She jerked away from him. "Fine. That's probably the way you want it."

"Yeah, I figure we can make out on the way to the hospital." Sam caught her by the arm, and this time his grip was not rea.s.suring, it was angry. "What the h.e.l.l kind of man do you think I am anyway?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you? Haven't we lived together for the past nine years? Haven't you folded my underwear and taken my temperature and seen me go to work every day and come home every night-to you, to my daughter?"

His eyes blazed with a fury she didn't begin to understand.

"I know what color your underwear is, Sam, but I don't know what you think, how you feel about me or Tessa or anyone for that matter. You don't talk to me."

"Maybe you don't listen. Maybe you don't want to hear me, because it would upset all your fantasies and illusions."

"I don't have any more fantasies. They died from lack of interest. So let me go, Sam, because we both know you've been trying to get away from me for most of your life."

Sam's hand fell from her arm. "Maybe you're right," he said. "Maybe it's time we both let go. Because I don't know what we're trying to hold on to."

Alli swallowed hard. She didn't really want him to let her go. But it was too late to take back her words. And it was better this way. Despite what Sam said, she knew his feelings for Tessa were unresolved. And now that Tessa was back, maybe it was time to resolve them.

"I'm out of here," Sam said, leaving her alone in the kitchen.

When she finally got up her nerve to return to the living room, she found Megan sitting all alone in the big armchair with her backpack on and her hair done up in a beautiful French braid.

"You look terrific," Alli said.

Megan's face blossomed into a smile as she moved her head from side to side. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it. Are you ready for summer school?"

Megan nodded and got to her feet. "Are you going to take me, Mommy? I like it when you take me to school."

"You do?" Alli said.

"Yes, because Daddy always listens to the sports station and you listen to music."

It was the best compliment she'd gotten all morning. "You can listen to whatever you want, sweetie."

"Aunt Tessa is nice," Megan said.

Alli felt her body go tense. She couldn't come up with a response to save her life.

"How come you never talk about her? She's really pretty." Megan paused. "But you're way prettier, Mommy."

Alli swept Megan up into her arms and gave her a big hug. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too, Mommy. But I'm not a baby anymore."

Alli gave her a teary smile. "I know, but you'll always be my baby."

Tessa tried to relax, but sitting next to Sam in the front seat of his Ford Explorer felt awkward and uncomfortable.

Sam had barely spoken to her, barely looked at her since they'd left the house.

She suspected he and Alli had had an argument in the kitchen, probably over her. No doubt Alli had not liked the fact that she was here, or that Megan wanted her aunt to do her hair. Well, big deal. Alli was acting like a child.

Tessa cleared her throat. Sam didn't even glance at her. "Sam," she said pointedly.

"What?" He didn't sound at all happy to be speaking to her.

"Do you still have the T-Bird?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't drive it?"

"Once in a while. It's not exactly a family car." And he was a family man. How strange to think of him that way.

"Are you and Alli really getting a divorce?" she asked.

"It looks that way."

"Mind if I ask why?"

"Alli wasn't happy."

"Were you?"

He didn't say anything for a long moment. "Maybe not every second of every day, but who is?"

"That's an evasive answer."

He shrugged. "What about you? Are you happy?"

"Me? Of course I'm happy. My career is great. I travel all over the world. I make a lot of money." She cleared her throat, wondering why it didn't sound that good. She had a fantastic life, everyone said so. "I have two apartments, one in L.A. and one in New York," she added.

"Can't decide which city you like better?"

"It's convenient to have a place on each coast."

"Life in the fast lane," he murmured.

"There's a lot to see and do," she said, feeling defensive. She couldn't tell if he was impressed or critical of her lifestyle. "It's a big world out there."

"You don't get tired of the traveling?"

"No. Well, sometimes." She let out a breath, feeling especially weary today. She turned her head to look at him and was rea.s.sured by the familiarity of his profile. This was Sam. Why was she pretending? "It's hard to stay ahead of the pack," she said. "There are so many pretty young girls chasing me, I'm beginning to feel hunted."

"I doubt anyone can catch you."

Then Sam sent her a smile that took her right back to where they'd once been, when his every look could make her palms sweat and her heart race. There were better looking men in the world. She'd posed with many of them. But there was something about Sam that stirred her. Even now, dressed in blue jeans and a T-shirt, he was far too appealing.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," she said lightly.

"It sounds like you've got everything you wanted."

Except you. Except a husband and children.

"Pretty much. So do you and Alli ever get out of this town?"

"We went to Los Angeles for a car show a few years back. That's about it."

"I remember when you wanted to hunt for shipwrecks in the Caribbean."

"I think I wanted to a professional race car driver, too, but I grew up."

"I also remember a time when you swore you'd never work for your father, but Grams tells me you've taken over his business completely."

"I like it better than I thought I would."

"Really? Or have you gotten good at making the best of things?"

He shot her an annoyed look. "You know, there was a time when you wanted to get married and have kids. What happened to that?"

Her body tightened at his question. She knew he was only getting a little back at her, but he had no idea how much his words hurt. Of course she'd wanted to get married. She'd wanted to marry him, have his children. She'd never found anyone else with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

"I can still have all that. I have plenty of time. And I think it's smart to follow a plan, to make things happen when they're meant to happen."

"Bull's-eye," Sam said, putting a hand on his heart. "We're almost at the hospital. Any other darts you want to throw before we get there?"

She hated the fact that she'd said anything. It had been her intention to stay calm, in control, to never let him think she had spent one second of one day upset about what he had done to her.