Just The Way You Are Part 13

"At thirteen, yeah. But there was one thing Tessa wasn't good at-"

"You mean there was one thing? I'm in shock. Catch me if I faint."

"Tessa never figured out how we were actually going to get to the African jungle, especially since at the time we didn't even have a driver's license." He laughed at some memory that was not hers, and it hurt. But Alli couldn't let him see that, because then he'd stop talking, and she needed him to talk, she needed to understand why he loved Tessa so much.

"You could still do it, Sam. You and Tessa could travel around the world, see all those things that you never got to see."

"And what about you? What about Megan?" His eyes grew more serious as he looked at her. "Wouldn't you miss me? We've been together for nine years. And they weren't all bad. Is it really so easy to send me away, Alli?"

His words created a lump in her throat that she had trouble swallowing. "Of course we would miss you, Sam, but..." She didn't know what he was asking really. Did he want her to ask him to stay, to walk away from Tessa?

She'd already forced that decision on him once before, and she couldn't do it again, especially now, since he'd reminded her of the past, of all the hours he and Tessa had spent in the treehouse with the flashlight and the telescope.

Alli had seen their first kiss. She'd heard their first fight. She'd watched them fall in love. And she'd broken them up. It was time to do the right thing, set Sam free.

"Alli?"

"What?"

"Look at the seagulls."

She watched a group of gulls dance off the water in search of food only to soar high into the sky as the boat drew closer to them.

"Beautiful," she murmured. "Absolutely free. I'd forgotten how fun this is, to sail into the wind, feel the mist on your face, breathe in the fresh air. It's invigorating."

"It's spectacular," Sam said. "Out here, everything is so simple. Why do we have to complicate things?"

"Because we're human, and we need more than the seagulls to be happy." She paused. "You know what you said about Tessa teaching you how to dream? Well, since I spent most of my time standing on the ground beneath that d.a.m.n treehouse, I always had to look up to see anything, and when I looked up, I saw you." Her eyes grew watery. "You were my dream, Sam. I wanted so badly to be yours."

"Come here." He held out his hand to her.

Alli hesitated, then walked over and let him slide his arm around her waist as he encouraged her to put her hands on the wheel.

"You can drive," he said.

"Since when?" she asked, feeling the power of the boat under her fingers.

"Since now. Besides, there's nothing around for you to crash into."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

He rested his chin on her head, his hands firm on her waist as she steered the boat. "Sometimes you need to forget everything, Alli-where you've been, where you're going, what you want, what you think you want. Sometimes you just have to be in the moment, or the moment pa.s.ses you by."

"I think that's how we made Megan," she said dryly.

"And since then you've been trying to take it all back. But you can't. I came to accept the fact that you were never going away, Alli."

"Hey," she protested, but his teasing laugh prevented any further protest.

"And you need to accept the fact that we can't change the past. Just stop and feel the sun on your face and the breeze in your hair and let everything else go. Be as free as those seagulls."

She turned her head, his face so close to hers. "Is that why you spend so much time out here, so you can feel free, so you can forget everything?"

He stared at her for a long time, so long she had to stop herself from fidgeting, force herself to not look away, because she really wanted to hear his answer.

"I used to come out here to forget. Lately, I've been trying to remember." Then he smiled his special smile ... and Alli remembered how much she loved him.

"You'll remember how to do it as soon as you get on," Jimmy said, holding the two-seater bicycle steady as Tessa eyed it with distrust.

"Tell me again why I want to do this."

"Because it will be fun. Because it's here, and we're here, and what the h.e.l.l."

"It's amazing how complex your thoughts are," Tessa said sarcastically.

Jimmy laughed, feeling better than he had in weeks. He'd missed Tessa, missed the way she didn't take c.r.a.p from him, saw through all the bulls.h.i.t and yet still remained one of the most beautiful, desirable women he'd ever met-and he'd met plenty in his career as a fashion photographer. In fact, after his first few years of s.e.xual indulgence, he'd become vaccinated against the superthin, superbeautiful, superb.i.t.c.hy women who only wanted him because he made them look better than anyone else.

Behind the camera, he had all the power, and he'd used it unashamedly for a long, long time. But Tessa, Tessa was different. There had always been a vulnerability to her, a privacy, a secret side that even his camera had yet to unveil. Now, seeing her here in her hometown, he was beginning to believe she was nothing like the woman most people thought they knew.

Tessa straddled the bike, her short dress. .h.i.tched up to mid-thigh. "I think I should be wearing jeans for this," she said. "I might stop traffic."

"Good. That will save me from running the lights."

"Maybe I should be in the front. Can I trust you to steer?"

"I don't know, can I trust you to pedal?"

She laughed. "Good question. Now, are we doing this or not? Because at some point today, I really need to get back to the hospital."

He flicked her chin with his finger. "You just called the hospital and your grandmother is sleeping, so don't start feeling guilty on me. I'm not used to seeing guilt on a model's face-unless, of course, she just scarfed down a pound of G.o.diva chocolates."

"My favorite."

"Mine, too. All right. Let's see if this thing works." Jimmy slid onto the front seat, balancing the bike by resting his feet lightly on the ground. "Where to?"

"Head down Main Street , hang a left at Carmen Avenue , and I'll show you the hot spots: Milton's Barber Shop, Lucy's Hot Curl, and Mrs. Davenport's Frank Sinatra museum."

He looked over his shoulder at her. "No way, I love Old Blue Eyes."

"You do not like Frank Sinatra."

"How would you know, babe? You don't know everything about me."

She made a face at him. "Fine, I stand corrected. But you won't be able to get into the museum, because Mrs. Davenport only opens it on Sat.u.r.days."

"Too bad. So are you on, or what?"

"Actually, I'm not." She laughed as the bike threatened to fall over. "This isn't going to work."

"Sure it is. You put your feet on the pedals. I'll keep us stable until you're ready. Then I'll push off and you'll start pedaling really fast."

"If you say so."

He waited until Tessa said she was set, then pushed off and started pedaling. After the first few wobbles, they were cruising down Main Street and turning quite a few heads, as well as stopping traffic as Tessa had predicted.

He wasn't surprised that people stared at them; he was surprised to discover that so many of the people seemed to know Tessa. He wondered why she hadn't come home in close to a decade and had a feeling the answer had to do with her sister and her sister's husband. He hadn't seen Tessa run into a man's arms with such confidence since ... well, since never.

She usually kept everyone at arm's length. On occasion, he'd wondered if she had something going on, like an affair with a married man, or if she was nursing a broken heart. h.e.l.l, maybe it was both.

Her sister certainly hadn't looked happy to see her husband and Tessa together. There was a history among the three of them, he'd bet his camera on that.

"There's Lucy's Hot Curl," Tessa said. "In case you need a haircut."

"I'm not sure I'd trust this mane to someone named Lucy."

"Fine, be a big-city sn.o.b."

"Oh, sure, since when has anyone but Gerard touched your golden locks?"

"All right, you win."

"I always do." He began to whistle as they cruised around town. It was fairly flat and easy to get around, not too much traffic to worry about, and he couldn't remember when he'd had such a good, simple, cheap time. He felt ... happy. "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true," he sang out.

"Oh, please, don't sing."

"I'm half crazy, all for the love of you."

"I'm totally crazy for doing this with you," Tessa interrupted. "Everyone is looking at us."

"Looking at you. Aren't you used to that by now?"

"Turn left. There's Carmen Avenue . I want to show you Central Park."

"Just like the one in Manhattan?"

"Except it's about fifty times smaller."

"Cool." Jimmy made a fairly wide turn as the long bicycle still seemed a bit unsteady beneath his hands. But then he hadn't been on a bicycle in about twenty years. He began to pump harder as the bicycle seemed to be dragging up a small incline. Having a sneaking suspicion why, he flung a look over his shoulder. "Hey, you're not pedaling."

"Of course I am," she said.

"Liar." But he felt a definite improvement in their speed as they hit the top of the hill and began down the other side. "No more loafing," he said with another quick look at her. He should have kept his eyes on the road, but the bloom in Tessa's cheeks, her hair streaming out behind her, was just too hard to resist.

"Jimmy!" she cried.

"s.h.i.t!" he swore as he looked back just in time. He had to make a hard turn to the right to avoid a woman, a stroller, and some kind of dog on a very long leash. The turn was too fast, and he had trouble recovering as the bike soared over the sidewalk and down a long gra.s.sy embankment, toward a pond-a pond? Tessa hadn't mentioned anything about a pond.

"Turn! Turn!" Tessa screamed.

But he couldn't make the steering work. He didn't know if Tessa was turning to the right or the left, but they didn't seem to be in sync. The bike began to fishtail, and they drew closer to the water. Then he felt the back of the bike flare up as if Tessa had jumped. The next thing he knew he was underwater, under ice-cold water. He thrashed his way to the top, only to realize he could actually stand up since the pond was only about five feet deep. He looked over to the bank and saw Tessa standing next to the pond. She had jumped and left him to his fate. Traitor.

"It's okay, I'm all right. Thanks for asking," he said, pulling himself and the bike out of the water.

Tessa didn't reply. She had one arm wrapped around her middle and he was suddenly afraid that she'd hurt herself.

"Tessa, Tessa," he said as her body seemed to shake. He dropped the bike on the ground as he came out of the water and rushed to her side. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm-I'm fine," she said, then burst into full-fledged laughter as she pointed at his head. "You have green moss in your hair."

"And here I was worried about you. Silly me."

"You should be worried. You practically killed me," she said with a grin that was so much wider and freer and more joyous than any he had ever seen on her face.

"You look pretty alive to me." He ran his hands through his hair, then winced as he pulled out some sort of weed.

"I'll be black-and-blue tomorrow," she said. "Probably won't be able to pose for any photographs for a while. I might have to sue you for lost wages."

"I might have to sue you for being so distracting."

"Excuse me?" she asked, planting a hand on her hip. "I didn't say a word. You weren't paying attention to the road. You almost hit that poor woman."

"I wasn't paying attention because I was looking at you. Besides that, haven't you ever heard of going down with the ship?"

"We were on a bicycle, not the t.i.tanic."

"Same thing."

"It is not the same thing."

"Well, I'll give you this, you have great survival instincts." Her smile vanished abruptly, and the light went out of her eyes. "What did I say?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, you look like I just pulled the lights out of your Christmas tree."

"It's just something Grams said to me once about saving myself, surviving. Forget it."

"That's your secret?"

"I don't have any secrets," she said, flopping down on the ground.

Jimmy sat down beside her. "Sure you do. You never talk about your family. I didn't even know you had a sister or a grandmother, and I thought we were good friends."

"We should go back. You'll catch a cold. The afternoon wind can be brisk here on the coast."

He could feel the drops chilling his skin, but he was far more interested in hearing her story than in getting warm. "Why haven't you come back here before?"