Japanese Literature Part 48

HUSBAND.--Why, just simply this: it is that I have told my old woman not to intrude on my devotions; but, being the vixen that she is, who knows but what she may not peep and look in? in which case she would make a fine noise if there were no semblance of a religious practice to be seen; and so, though it is giving you a great deal of trouble, I wish you would oblige me by taking my place until my return.

SERVANT.--Oh! it would be no trouble; but I shall get such a scolding if found out, that I would rather ask you to excuse me.

HUSBAND.--What nonsense you talk! Do oblige me by taking my place; for I will not allow her to scold you.

SERVANT.--Oh sir! that is all very well; but pray excuse me for this time.

HUSBAND.--No, no! you must please do this for me; for I will not so much as let her point a finger at you.

SERVANT.--Please, please let me off!

HUSBAND.--Gracious goodness! The fellow heeds what my wife says, and won't heed what I say myself! Do you mean that you have made up your mind to brave me?

[_Threatening to beat him._

SERVANT.--Oh! I will obey.

HUSBAND.--No, no! you mean to brave me!

SERVANT.--Oh no, sir! surely I have no choice but to obey.

HUSBAND.--Really and truly?

SERVANT.--Yes, really and truly.

HUSBAND.--My anger was only a feint. Well, then, take my place, please.

SERVANT.--Yes, to be sure; if it is your desire, I will do so.

HUSBAND.--That is really too delightful. Just stop quiet while I set things to rights for you to sit in abstraction.

SERVANT.--Your commands are laid to heart.

HUSBAND.--Sit down here.

SERVANT.--Oh! what an unexpected honor!

HUSBAND.--Now, then; I fear it will be uncomfortable, but oblige me by putting your head under this "abstraction blanket."

SERVANT.--Your commands are laid to heart.

HUSBAND.--Well, it is scarcely necessary to say so; but even if my old woman should tell you to take off the abstraction blanket, be sure not to do so until my return.

SERVANT.--Of course not. I should not think of taking it off. Pray don't be alarmed.

HUSBAND.--I will be back soon.

SERVANT.--Please be good enough to return quickly.

HUSBAND.--Ah! that is well over! No doubt Hana is waiting impatiently for me. I will make haste and go.

WIFE.--I am mistress of this house. I perfectly understood my partner the first time he asked me not to come to him on account of the religious devotion which he was going to perform. But there is something suspicious in his insisting on it a second time with a "Don't come to look at me! don't come to look at me!" So I will just peep through some hidden corner, and see what the thing looks like.

[_Peeping._] What's this? Why, it seems much more uncomfortable than I had supposed! [_Coming in and drawing near._] Please, please; you told me not to come to you, and therefore I had intended not to do so; but I felt anxious, and so I have come. Won't you lift off that "abstraction blanket," and take something, if only a cup of tea, to unbend your mind a little? [_The figure under the blanket shakes its head._] You are quite right. The thought of my being so disobedient and coming to you after the care you took to tell me not to intrude may justly rouse your anger; but please forgive my rudeness, and do please take that blanket off and repose yourself, do! [_The figure shakes its head again._] You may say no again and again, but I _will_ have it off. You _must_ take it off. Do you hear? [_She pulls it off, and Taraukuwazhiya stands exposed._] What! you, you rascal? Where has my old man gone? Won't you speak? Won't you speak?

SERVANT.--Oh! I know nothing.

WIFE.--Oh! how furious I am! Oh! how furious I am! Of course he must have gone to that woman's house. Won't you speak? Won't you speak? I shall tear you in pieces?

SERVANT.--In that case, how can I keep anything from you? Master has walked out to see Miss Hana.

WIFE.--What! _Miss_ Hana, do you say? Say, _Minx_, say _Minx_.

Gracious me, what a rage I am in! Then he really has gone to Hana's house, has he?

SERVANT.--Yes, he really has gone there.

WIFE.--Oh! when I hear he has gone to Hana's house, I feel all ablaze, and oh! in such a pa.s.sion! oh! in such a pa.s.sion! [_She bursts out crying._

SERVANT.--Your tears are but natural.

WIFE.--Ah! I had meant not to let you go if you had kept it from me.

But as you have told the truth I forgive you. So get up.

SERVANT.--I am extremely grateful for your kindness.

WIFE.--Now tell me, how came you to be sitting there?

SERVANT.--It was master's order that I should take his place; and so, although it was most repugnant to me, there was no alternative but for me to sit down, and I did so.

WIFE.--Naturally. Now I want to ask you to do me a good turn. Will you?

SERVANT.--Pray, what may it be?

WIFE.--Why, just simply this: you will arrange the blanket on top of me just as it was arranged on the top of you; won't you?

SERVANT.--Oh! your commands ought of course to be laid to heart; but I shall get such a scolding if the thing becomes known, that I would rather ask you to excuse me.

WIFE.--No, no! I will not allow him to scold you; so you must really please arrange me.

SERVANT.--Please, please, let me off this time.

WIFE.--No, no! you must arrange me, as I will not so much as let him point a finger at you.

SERVANT.--Well, then, if it comes to my getting a scolding, I count on you, ma'am, as an intercessor.

WIFE.--Of course. I will intercede for you; so do you please arrange me.

SERVANT.--In that case, be so good as to sit down here.

WIFE.--All right.