Jake: Jake Understood Part 5

Shaking my head, I said, "It was nothing. If anything, it was fun for me."

She covered her face. "I hit you, for Christ's sake!"

I joked, "Eh. Not the first time a woman has. .h.i.t me in the heat of the moment. Usually, I'm handcuffed and blindfolded, though."

I winked again.

She smiled again.

I smiled back again.

Nina leaned in a little, causing my pulse to race. "You put yourself through all of that, knowing d.a.m.n well that I was gonna freak out on you. I mean, what was in it for you?"

You.

You were in it for me.

"What was in it for me?" I sat up and moved closer to where she was sitting on the bed and scratched my chin. "I got to watch you go from living in an imaginary place to living in the present. I was able to share it with you because you trusted me. It's exhilarating for me to know I could show you how to live in the moment...because that's all there ever is, Nina. So much stress could be eliminated if we all learned to do that."

She nodded to herself, taking in my words. "This moment...right now...us sitting here....that's all there is. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It's easier to do when someone who is centered is guiding you through it. No one's ever held my hand through anything like that. Thank you again."

"Don't worry about it."

"You know, everyone at home thinks I'm crazy. They never take my anxieties seriously. My parents, my ex-boyfriend..."

Ex-boyfriend.

I wanted to kick this guy's a.s.s, whoever he was. f.u.c.ker.

It was the perfect window to ask what I'd been wondering since she moved in.

"Is that the guy in the picture in your room?"

Nina shook her head. "No. No, that's my brother."

My heart started beating faster. "You don't have a boyfriend now?"

"No."

Relief coursed through me even though I had to remind myself that it shouldn't have mattered since I wouldn't be pursuing her.

I felt my d.i.c.k move as her gaze travelled down my shirtless chest and down lower to my six-pack. My pulse quickened when she reached out her hand and placed it over the dragon tattoo on my left forearm.

"What is that?"

My arm tingled from her touch, which felt electric. At any given moment, I felt seconds away from grabbing her shirt and pulling her into a deep kiss. I wanted that so desperately.

I cleared my throat. "It's a dragon."

"I couldn't tell at first if it was a seahorse or a dragon."

"Definitely not a seahorse." I laughed and looked down at her dainty hand on my arm. "You know, long after I got this, I read something once that the dragon is apparently a symbol of strength and power. It also said that the power of the dragon must be balanced with wisdom. Otherwise, the greed that comes with that power turns him into a ravenous creature with an insatiable appet.i.te."

Little did she know, that was a cryptic description of my exact dilemma when it came to her.

The tension in the room was thick when she said, "Wow. That's pretty intense."

"Yeah." I touched my finger to her neck. "What's this, a sea urchin?"

When she looked down, I slid my hand up and pinched her nose.

She laughed. "You tricked me."

"It wouldn't be the first time today."

She rolled her eyes. "That's for sure."

Several seconds of silence pa.s.sed. She bit her bottom lip nervously as I imagined sucking on it. You could tell she had something on her mind.

The words finally came out. "You know, I was really scared about moving here, but it was something I knew I had to do for myself."

"Why did you choose New York of all places? That's like jumping right into the fire."

"As much as it scared me, I've always dreamt of living here. I told myself if I got into the nursing program, then that was the sign I needed to make the move. I felt so out of place that first day, though. I really considered just going back home."

"I'm really glad you didn't," I whispered.

"Me, too." She glanced over at the wall and hesitated. "You make me feel safe. I realize I don't know you from Adam, but what I do know is that I feel more secure knowing you're here. Is that strange?"

Pressure built in my chest. Hearing her say that felt so good and so awful at the same time. She was right. She didn't know me from Adam and had no idea how true that statement was.

You should get out of here, Nina. Please.

I swallowed and said, "No. It's not strange. I like how honest you are. One of the first vibes I got from you was that you wear your heart on your sleeve. You're not afraid to make a fool of yourself, either, for the greater good. That says a lot about a person."

"Thanks...I think?" She smiled and lightly punched my arm.

There was so much more I wished I could say to her, but it all stayed inside of me.

Then, Nina looked straight into my eyes with a permeating stare when she said, "I think sometimes people come into our lives at a certain time for a reason."

That was the truth. I'd always believed that I was meant to meet Ivy when I did because she was going to need me. At the same time, it felt like destiny in a different way with Nina. I just couldn't figure out why the man upstairs would lead me to her if he needed me to take care of Ivy.

She stayed for another several minutes, opening up to me about her first panic attack that happened in a dark elevator during a high school field trip. She just kept thanking me again for seeing her through things earlier but said she planned to spend the rest of the night studying. She wanted to make sure to get an A on her next exam to avoid another excursion for a while. I couldn't say I blamed her.

My stomach felt unsettled because tomorrow I'd be leaving for Boston. It was the first time since moving to New York that I almost considered staying back in New York for the weekend. But I couldn't.

I decided to make Nina an origami bat that I'd sneak into her room when she went to take her evening shower.

I jotted down some potential poems in my notebook before writing anything in permanent ink inside of the bat.

Well, what do you know? I was a poet and didn't know it.

What I almost wrote: Sorry you p.i.s.sed yourself.

I hope we're still friends.

Remind me next time, To pack some Depends.

What I wished I could have written: Don't thank me for helping you through.

I should be thanking you.

Getting lost in your smile, Made it all worthwhile.

What I actually wrote: You didn't run...you saw it through.

Mr. Bat is proud of you.

CHAPTER 6.

Past Reality has a way of smacking you in the face sometimes. That weekend, my visit with Ivy was one of the worst in recent weeks and definitely served as a wake-up call.

On Sat.u.r.day morning, she seemed to be in a great mood, so I decided to take her shopping that afternoon for winter clothes downtown. We were inside Macy's when she started having one of her delusions about me.

Ivy was trying on some sweaters in the dressing room. Nearly twenty minutes had gone by, and she still hadn't come out. She'd only taken in a few items with her, so it shouldn't have taken her that long. Even though I was standing right outside the fitting area, I started to worry that something was very wrong.

The attendant had disappeared, and Ivy wasn't responding to me. My shoulder brushed by a bunch of plastic hangers on a rack as I barged my way in and spotted Ivy's striped socks underneath one of the stalls.

I knocked on the door. "Ivy, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Who are you, and what do you want from me?"

Great.

"You know who I am. It's Jake."

"Leave me alone." Her lighter clicked, and smoke started to fill the room.

I banged on the door. "Ivy! You can't smoke in here."

She threw a wool sweater over the door, and it hit me in the face. "Get away from me, or I'm calling the police."

My heart was racing because I knew all too well where this was headed. Needing to calm down, I let out a deep breath.

"Ivy, please open the door."

She started screaming at the top of her lungs, "Help me! Someone help me! He's trying to hurt me!"

An attendant rushed in. "Sir, you need to get out of here right now! This is a women's dressing room. And she can't be smoking in here."

No s.h.i.t. Really?

"He's trying to kill me!" Ivy yelled.

"Lady, you don't understand. My wife is mentally ill. She locked herself in there, and I'm trying to get her out."

Before she could respond, store security came in and began dragging me out of the room.

I protested, "Someone needs to open that door and get her out of there."

"Take him away. He's trying to hurt me!" she screamed from behind the door.

"Why should I believe you over her?" said the burly man still holding my arm.

This could not be happening to me.

"Look, just give me a minute to call her case worker. I'll let you talk to her. She'll explain."

Gina's number was on my speed dial. She picked up. Thank G.o.d.

"Gina, I'm at Macy's with Ivy, and she's having an episode. She's telling people I'm trying to hurt her. I need you to vouch for me and talk to the security people here, so they can help me get her home."

The man spent about three minutes on the phone with Gina while the attendant unlocked the dressing room door. Ivy was huddled in the corner of the fitting room and wouldn't move.

When the security guard got off the phone, he turned to the female employee. "Keep the dressing room closed to the public until he can talk her out." Then, he looked at me with a sympathetic expression. "I'll let you handle this. Let us know if you need any help."

My voice was low. "Thank you."

Ivy stayed still in the same corner and was no longer saying anything. Experience told me she needed some time to come down from one of these freak outs.

After several minutes, I bent down slowly and reached my hand out even slower. "Baby girl, we need to get you home. Please."

She had tears in her eyes as she looked up at me. "Jake?"

"Yeah. It's me." I smiled. "You're okay."

Ivy took my hand and let me lift her up. I grabbed the two sweaters that were strewn on the floor and hung them up.

She caught me off guard when she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I'm scared."