Love Lists To The Universe 18 Chapter 18 : My True Self

"My teacher always praises me Mom.I like her so much."He happily said to me.

I rubbed his head as a sign that i was happy too.

"Avita, your father...You forgot him... "Red suddenly said to me.

I stopped eating as I think about my father too.

"Maybe he had gray hair now."I said to myseld with a little smile on my face.

"You can visit him tomorrow. I will bring you in his house in the morning. "Red said to me.

"Thanks. I guess I should try communiting and ride on a pa.s.senger bus.So that I can have time to stroll around. "I responded to him.

"Okay. If your mind change then I could drive for you. "He said to me with a smile.

We continued eating then after that whole night I didn't requested for Red to take me to my previous house (which is my father's house).

Honestly, I am scared to go alone but I want to see changes in the surroundings.

On the day I commuted, I am almost lost when I came there because surroundings just changed a lot. Luckily, I finally came into our adjoined house.

I stopped infront of the gate and looked on our house.There i can see our strong big red tree at the back of the house.

"The appearance is same as before when I was 26 years old. "I said silently.

From inside, My father saw me then opened gate for me.

"Why you didn't use the doorbell?"He said to me.

"Ah, father your too old."I silently said as I saw him with many wrinkles and grey hair.

"Go inside. I am really old because I am now 75 years old."He responded with a little angry tone of voice.

While my father is preparing coffee, I decides to get the shovel and start digging the surroundings of the Red tree.

"Hey, daughter, why are you digging the soil? "He asked me upon seeing me.

"I am looking for my old love lists to the universe that you put under the soil which was many years ago. "I responded to him.

He walks beside me and starts to get my shovel from my hand.

"You won't see it anymore. "He said silently.

"Why? Did you removed it already? "I asked him.

"The soild already had eaten the paper."

"I put it with no plastic or bottle because I am lazy."He said with a laughed.

"Ah, why you didn't tell me about that before? "I responded.

"It was a long time before.I almost forgot.

Let's go inside. Your stepmom prepared cake for you and the coffee is still hot. "He said to me.

I went inside and starts drinking the hot coffee while we are looking into the red tree.

"Father, Louei, is he already at Cebu? His house was already built? "I asked him.

"Yes, he is and of course his big dream house was already done.It was a long time ago. However, he is yearly here at Tarlac for his charity. He is always visiting me."

"I was curious. Why you didn't know that? "My father asked that I didn't answer.

"That man, Louie fell inlove to you hardly.He told me but he was too late because you are already taken..."

"...by the way forget about it. Be happy in your husband and family life. Louei will soon find someone in his life soon.I shoudn't pity him.I will help him to find other woman."He even added.

"So Louie really likes me even in this time."I said to myself as I silently listen to my father's words.

"I guess love lists to the universe isn't true."I silently said while staring into the waving leaves of the red tree.

"Daughter, It's true. Love list to the universe can manifest. "My father said that makes me stare at him.

"Why did you say that? Do you have a proof?" I asked.

"I taught that type of manifestation to you because I want you to marry your dream guy and be happy."

"However, you had two love lists to the universe. The one came from your true-self ad the one came from your force love. The Universe will find it hard to give it to you. " He silently explained that makes me stopped drinking my hot coffee.

The hot wind blows inside the house.

I was thinking that father is pertaining to Louei which is my true self and the force love is Red.

"Father, did you manifested mother and stepmother using this love lists? "I asked him.

"Yes, i used this as a tool. Your mother is my dream woman. I was very happy that I became her husband but she died early...

... but I never losts hope for finding true love. So, I created another love lists then your step mother appeared infront of me and love me for who I am. "He even added with a sad tone of voice.

"I now understand that I manifested Louie in my life because of my Love Lists to the Universe. And now because I also make one about Red. I also manifested him too."I said to myself while starting to drink my coffee again and thinking deeply.

Before leaving, father suddenly puts a folded paper inside the pocket of my jacket.

"What's that father? "I asked.

"Check it when you are at the bus."He said to me with a tap on my back.

"Daughter, G.o.d and Universe always work in tandem to bring you an amazing life.Please don't suffer from sadness just because you lost an important person in your life." He unexpectedly said that makes me remember that in my real time I suffered from depression because of loosing Red when he died.I was full of regrets during that time that I also want to end my life. Father in this time seems know alot from my real hardship.

I hugged father and thanked him.

"Father, I will visit you soon."I said with a little tear on my eyes. I controlled it until I get inside the bus.

I was curious, so I check the paper that makes me start crying.

It was my old lovelists that describes Louie.Father is kidding. He doesn't put it back to the soil. He kept it for a long time just to return it back to me.

I was having conscience in what is happening in my life. I time traveled here and changed a lot not wondering myself in the past.Which is the real me. The real me who dream and accepted by the people who loves me.

I know I love Red and I was very happy to our family but how long will it lasts to be here. I am living in a place where I jumped from time to time. I wasn't permanent and my real self is out of nowhere. My old Love lists to Universe reminds me of who I am.I am the young woman who writes his dream guys personality that reflects herself.

I finally went home. I walked into our kitchen and saw Red cooking for our dinner.

Red is really an adult guy in this time. This time is so confusing because I just can't believe that I had changed everything and makes him alive. I even got a chace to be his wife now and had children.

I was very happy but how long will I be happy? Should I say I love you now and end soon this dream?

He notices me and smiled.

"You came back. How's your dear father? "He said as he removes his hand from the pan.

I moved next to him and takes his left hand then put it in my right cheek. I can feel that it was so cold that makes me feel so sad.

"Why you look so sad? "He said as he can feel me.

"I love you Red."I said with a smile wherein my tone of voice seems like going to cry.

I saw him smiled to me as my surroundings starts to change again.

During this time all I want is to correct lots of things but I really want to be with Red. I want him to be forever on my life.