Iolanthe's Wedding Part 7

Not that I was afraid--or, rather, I was frightfully afraid--but apart from that, I felt as if I were to blame, as if some wrong were being done, as if--how shall I say?

If I had only known who was being wronged. Not Iolanthe, because it was her wish. Not myself--I was what they call the happiest mortal in the world. Lothar? Perhaps. The poor fellow had looked on me as his second father, and I was removing the ground from beneath his feet by going over bag and baggage to the enemy's camp.

So that was the way I kept the promise I had made my old friend Putz on his deathbed.

Gentlemen, any of you who, under the pressure of circ.u.mstances, have found yourselves in the council of the wicked--that thing happens once in his life to every good man--will understand me.

I thought and thought day and night and chewed my nails b.l.o.o.d.y. As I saw no other way out of the situation, I decided to heal the breach at my own expense.

It wasn't so easy for me, because you know, gentlemen, we country squires cling to our few dollars. But what doesn't one do when one is officially a "good fellow"?

So one afternoon I went to see my father-in-law-elect, and found him in his so-called study lolling on the lounge. I put the proposition of a reconciliation to him somewhat hesitatingly--to sound him, of course.

As I expected, he instantly flew into a rage, stormed, choked, turned blue, and declared he'd show me the door.

"How if Lothar sees he's wrong and gives up the case as lost?" I asked.

Gentlemen, have you ever tickled a badger? I mean a tame or a half-tame one? When he blinks at you with his sleepy little eyes, half suspicious, half pleased, and keeps on snarling softly? That's just the way the old fellow behaved.

"He won't," he said after a while.

"But if he does?" I asked.

"Then you'll be the one to fork up for the whole business," he answered--the fox--quick as a flash.

"Should I lie?" I thought. "Ah--bah, the devil!" And I confessed.

"Nope," he said point-blank. "Won't do, my boy. I won't accept it."

"Why not?"

"On account of the children, of course. I must think of my grandchildren, in case you are magnanimous enough to present me with some. I can't bequeath anything to them, so should I rob them besides?

I'll win the suit in all events, even if it lasts a few years longer. I can wait."

I set to work to try to persuade him.

"The money remains in the family," I said. "I pay it and you get it.

After your death it will revert to me, of course."

"Aha! You're already counting on my death?" he shouted, and began to rage and storm again. "Do you want me to lay myself in my grave alive, so that you can round off your estate with Krakowitz? I suppose it has been a thorn in your eyes a long time, my beautiful Krakowitz has."

There was no use struggling against such a bundle of unreason, so I determined upon force.

"This is my ultimatum, father," I said, "settlement and reconciliation with Lothar Putz are the sole conditions upon which I enter your family. If you don't agree I shall have to ask Iolanthe to set me free."

That brought him round.

"A man can't express the least little bit of feeling to you," he said.

"I think of your children, the poor unborn little mites, and you immediately think of breaking your engagement and all that sort of thing. If you insist, I won't interfere with your pleasure. I have no personal feelings against Lothar Putz. On the contrary, I'm told he is a magnificent fellow, a smart rider, a dashing young sport. But my dear man, I'll give you a good piece of advice. You're going to have a young girl for your wife. If she were not my own daughter and so raised above suspicion, I should suggest, 'Pick a quarrel with him, make him your enemy, insist upon payment of old loans instead of making a new one.'

Nothing so sure as a sure thing, you know."

Gentlemen, until then I had taken him humorously, but from that moment on I hated him. Just let the wedding be over, then I'd shake him off.

There was still one difficult thing to do, convince Lothar that the old fellow admitted he had been wrong and had decided to give up the suit.

The coup succeeded. It surprised Lothar so little that he even forgot to thank me.

Very well, all the same to me!

I've already told you enough about Iolanthe.

The tissue of such a relation, with its attempts at intimacy and its chills, with its ebb and flow of confidence and timidity, hope and despair, is too finely woven for my coa.r.s.e hands to try to spread it out before you.

To her credit be it said, she honestly attempted to accommodate herself to me.

She tried to discover my likes and dislikes. She even tried to adapt her thoughts to mine. Unfortunately she could not find very much there.

Where she in the freshness of her mind took it for granted that there were live interests, there was often nothing but land long before turned waste. That is what is so horrible about growing old. It slowly deadens one nerve after the other. As we approach the fifties, both work and rest conspire to make an end of us.

Just then red neckties were in fashion. I wore a red necktie, and also pointed boots, and silk lapels on my coat.

I presented Iolanthe with rich gifts, a pearl necklace, which cost three thousand dollars, and a famous solitaire that had come up for auction in Paris. Every day roses and orchids were shipped to her from my hothouses--but by express, because my flowers were less valuable than my colts.

By the way, my colts, you know--but no, I didn't set out to tell about my colts.

CHAPTER VI

Well, at this point, gentlemen, I leave a blank and pa.s.s on to the wedding day.

My father--in--law, who always landed on his feet like a cat, had decided to exploit my popularity for his own ends, and he utilised the celebration of my wedding for renewing his connection with all the people who had long been avoiding him.

He dived deep into his pocket and arranged a prodigious feast, at which, as he expressed it, champagne was to flow in rivulets along the table.

No need to tell you that the whole hullabaloo was a nuisance to me; but that's just the trouble about being a bridegroom. He is a ridiculous figure whose organs of will have been peeled out of his cranium for the time being.

On the morning of the great day I was sitting in my study--very cross--the whole house stinking of paint--when the door opened and Lothar came in.

In high feather apparently--had on top boots--threw himself on my neck.

Hurrah! Dear old uncle! Travelled all night to be here on time; won the prize the day before at the steeplechase; rode like the devil; didn't break his neck anyhow; drank like a fish. Still he was fresh; ready to dance like a top; brought some surprises along--very fiery kind; I was to give him twenty-five men to drill immediately--and so forth.

It came out in a stream while his black eyebrows kept jerking up and down and his eyes glowed from under them like burning coals.

"That is youth," I reflected and suppressed a sigh. I should have liked to borrow those eyes of his for twenty-four hours and everything else that went with them.

"You don't ask about my bride?" I ventured.

He laughed very loud. "Uncle, uncle, uncle! A pretty business! You marrying? You marrying? And I sending off the sky rockets! Hurrah!"