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"Want me to come with you?" Nathan asked.
"No. I should do this on my own."
Jeremy lay in bed hooked to a respirator. His skin was translucent. He looked a step away from being a corpse.
Sarah sat beside the bed. "He's in a coma."
"I'm sorry." Emilie didn't ask if Jeremy would wake up. She already knew the answer.
"I don't understand. Why didn't he tell me?"
"He was ashamed."
"So he does this?" Sarah's head dropped onto Jeremy's motionless arm. "Takes the coward's way out?"
"I'm sorry." What else could Emilie say? Jeremy was a coward. But he was also a good father and a decent man who could have been helped if he'd only had the strength to ask for it.
"Please stop apologizing," Sarah snapped.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know. Be angry, yell at me. Tell me I'm stupid for not seeing the truth. Blame me for everything's that's happened to you. Just stop being so d.a.m.ned nice."
"I don't have the energy."
Sarah peered up at her. Her usually perfect make-up was marred by her tears. "He didn't know about the kidnapping, right? He was only trying to get the money?"
Emilie nodded.
"He should have gone to the police."
"He didn't want to lose you."
"And now I've lost him. Selfish a.s.shole."
"I have to ask you something."
"What?"
"Before he lost consciousness, Jeremy said all the information he had on the Taker was in the safest place. Do you have any idea where that might be?"
"No. Apparently I don't know a d.a.m.ned thing about my husband."
Emilie couldn't stand being in the room with Jeremy's dying body and Sarah's pain any longer.
"The police are searching the house. I can be out by morning."
"No." Sarah wiped her eyes. "You'll stay. I don't want to go back there."
Neither did Emilie.
"You sure you still want to be here?" Nathan asked. Emilie hadn't said a word the entire drive back to the Vance's. She'd looked down at her hands, brow creased and jaw set. Occasionally she shook her head as though reliving the terrible day, but her expression never changed.
"I've got nowhere else to go."
"You can stay with me."
"You're probably in enough trouble already. My shacking up with you won't help your case."
He touched her cheek. "Ronson gave me the okay. I'm not letting you out of my sight."
"Are the cops still here?
"The forensics team is gone."
"They left the lights on."
He followed her up the flower-lined sidewalk and waved at the patrol car sitting outside. Even Avery had agreed Emilie shouldn't be alone tonight and hadn't complained when Ronson told Nathan to stay with her.
Emilie halted in front of the red door. Her body had gone still except for her right hand. Nathan took the jingling house keys from her and turned the lock.
The Vance's normally welcoming home seemed sinister. Thinly covered by a recently sprayed air freshener, the foul odor of vomit and excrement lingered in the air. A squeaking ceiling fan did nothing to suppress the smell.
"We should open the windows to air this place out," Nathan said.
"It's too hot." Emilie's head snapped toward the study. "That room needs to be cleaned."
She dumped her purse on an end table and then ran to an adjacent room.
"What are you doing?"
"There's cleaning supplies in here." She kicked a basket of clothes out of her way and dug into the laundry room storage. "How do you get puke off a hardwood floor? Does it soak in? I guess I'll start with soap and water and go from there."
"You don't need to do this."
She grabbed a blue plastic bucket and pushed past Nathan. "I need to fill this up with water-warm, I think. Then I'll put some detergent in it and just start scrubbing. Where's the mop?"
"Emilie, stop."
"I can't stand the smell. Sarah's so proud of her floors. I can't just leave it there," she yelled. "What kind of houseguest am I?"
"Then let me. You're exhausted."
"I've got it." Emilie dumped a cap full of Tide into the bucket.
She moved on to the kitchen, dragging the mop behind her. Once the bucket was half full of water, she lugged it toward the hall, mop now tucked under her arm.
"At least let me carry the bucket."
"No. This is my mess. I'm cleaning it up."
She marched to the study and threw open the door. Jeremy's stench spilled into the hall. Nathan stopped in the doorway but Emilie pressed forward. Her back and shoulders were stiff with determination as she stood in the middle of the room. Nathan didn't dare touch her.
"Couldn't your people have tidied the place up? All Jeremy's books are out of order, there's junk all over his desk. That's not how he left it."
She scrubbed the spots of dried vomit, slopping soapy water out of the bucket with each dunk of the mop.
"I'm going to need a d.a.m.ned toothbrush for some of this," she huffed. "Puke's in the friggin' cracks."
"There are people you can hire to do this. Crime scene cleanup."
"Go check the bathroom cabinets. See if you can find an unopened toothbrush. I've got to get this cleaned up before Sarah comes home."
Nathan didn't move.
"Why are you just standing there? I thought you wanted to help?" She threw down the mop. "I'll just do it myself."
"Stop." He caught her arm.
She struggled in his grasp. Her face was red and tears brimmed in her eyes. "I've got to."
"No, you don't. Jeremy wouldn't want you cleaning up after him."
"You don't understand."
"I understand you're searching for control, but this isn't the way to get it. You need to rest."
"I'm tired of resting," she shouted. "I've got to do something besides sit around and wait."
Her pretty face crumpled in despair. "All of these lives are ruined because of me, Nathan. The least I can do is try to clean up the mess."
"You didn't make any of these decisions. You're the victim, not the cause."
"How could he do this? How could things have been so bad Jeremy's only resort was to rob the bank?"
"Addiction makes people do crazy things. He did what he had to in order to survive."
Her breath came in quick, shallow gulps. "Why didn't he ask me for help? He's done so much for me. I could have done something."
"He's a proud man. We don't think like normal people sometimes."
"Don't compare yourself to him. You would never have done something so cowardly. You wouldn't hurt me like that."
The conviction in her voice sent a rush of adrenaline through him. Emilie was right. He would do anything to keep her safe.
"Never." Nathan's lips hovered over hers.
"I'm so glad you're here."
His mouth brushed against hers.
"I need you. Please." Emilie deepened the kiss, pawing at his shirt and urging him closer.
Resisting was impossible.
She clung to him, her lips roaming his jaw and neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh as he guided her out of the study and pulled the door shut. They stumbled down the hall into the great room and fell onto the couch.
Emilie took control, straddling him and tugging his shirt off. She slid her hands over his chest. Nathan hissed when her nails sc.r.a.ped his flesh.
"Touch me."
He obeyed, pulling off her sleeveless shirt. Pale, delicate skin was hidden underneath, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s covered by a blue cotton bra. Nathan buried his face in the warmth of her throat, kissing her collarbone and then working his way down.
"G.o.d." Her head fell back. He unclasped her bra and tossed it aside.
His mouth met her tender flesh, and she moaned, fisting her hand in his hair. He flipped Emilie to her back and slipped off her cutoff shorts and white panties.
Her back arched at the touch of his hand, exposing the beautiful curve of her neck. Emilie grabbed at the b.u.t.ton of his jeans. "Now."
Her hands and mouth were all over him as he dug into his pocket for a condom and rushed on. She pulled him back on top of her, heels against his thighs.
Bodies entwined, they moved in unison. Emilie begged for more in a low, guttural voice that set Nathan on fire.
Foreheads pressed together, they locked eyes as he gave her everything she asked for. Emilie touched his cheeks with quivering fingers, the raw emotion in her gaze overwhelming. Nothing had ever felt like this.
Emilie's body grew taut, her fingernails dug into his back again. Need overtook them as they reached a blissful peak, calling each other's names.
Out of breath, he collapsed against her. They lay in silence for several minutes, Emilie's legs and arms still locked around him. Finally he raised his head.
She smiled, tracing his lips with her index finger. He kissed it, then her mouth.
"You're still staying, right?" she whispered against his lips.
"I told you I wasn't letting you out of my sight."
"What about work?"
"No shift until tomorrow night. We'll figure something out."
She nodded and pulled his face back to hers. Tonight, Nathan would make sure the Taker was the last thing on her mind.
Chapter Thirty-Six.