In The Dark Of Dreams Part 31

He was never like the others, it whispered. Not like those who came before, or after, or those who surrounded us in the endless dark. We remember. We remember everything.

You were part of us. They blamed him for that.

"Ma'am," Eddie murmured.

"I'm fine," Jenny told him, straightening. But that was a lie.

She sensed a wall inside her head. New. Strange. There was no way to describe it except that it felt like a forgotten dream: specifically, the block preventing the memory of a dream. Except there was no memory. Just Perrin on the other side, his presence like a battering storm howling outside a window.

And deeper, closer, the parasite: resting in the shadows, with the same sensation and weight of a nagging thought.

Perrin watched her, with a frown still touching his brow. Made her wonder if he had been in her head, too-or if he had felt her hitching a ride behind his eyes. His regret and despair continued to echo through her, but looking at him . . . He hid his feelings so well. She had experienced his emotions for only a moment, and they curled around her heart like a fist.

Jenny didn't remember moving, but suddenly she was at his side, clutching his arm, needing to show him that he wasn't alone. He flinched when she touched him, and she drew back, frowning-then set her jaw and touched him again. He gave her a long look, sungla.s.ses making him inscrutable-but his hand was gentle when it finally wrapped around hers. Tension drained from his shoulders.

Perrin glanced at Rik. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were exiled for nothing more than loving her. I'm sorry she was sent away. I'm sorry she died."

Jenny was pretty certain the shape-shifter didn't give a s.h.i.t. He looked tired, and his eyes were hollow. "You're still going to die. You and the woman."

Perrin took a step, and Rik moved forward to meet him. Jenny hauled backward on his arm-then slid between them. Hands on his chest, pushing him. Perrin stared over her head at Rik.

"Broken," Rik said, voice hard, brittle. "Maybe they'll take pity on you. See how worthless you are and just . . . throw you away like they did the first time."

Jenny whipped around to face the shape-shifter. Perrin grabbed her arms and held her still against his chest. Tension rolled through her-or maybe that was him. She didn't trust that all her emotions were hers alone: something heavy pressed on the edges of her mind and heart, a presence that was not the parasite.

She opened herself to it, just a little-and suffered a slam of boiling rage, frustration. Helpless regret.

"Say whatever you want," Perrin whispered. "I didn't kill Surinia. I didn't break the two of you apart."

"You found out. You told. What the f.u.c.k did you think would happen?"

Perrin pushed Jenny out of his way, firm but gentle. Dangerously deliberate. Eddie stepped close, shielding her. Not that distance helped. Part of her was still lost inside Perrin.

"Not that," he said softly. "I never dreamed any harm would come to Surinia. I was concerned. You were both so young, not even sixteen years, and she was a candidate for a kra'a. One of the best we had. When I saw where it was going with the two of you, I had to say something. For both your sakes. You didn't understand-"

Rik lunged at him. Perrin let the shape-shifter land a solid blow on his face before whipping down with his own fists, striking him hard and fast across the contusions in his chest. Rik grunted, staggering. Perrin punched him one more time, in the gut. Jenny knew he didn't use all his strength. He didn't need to. Rik was already hurting. Whatever had been done to him earlier had whipped him well and good.

Rik bent over, holding his stomach. Eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed together, breathing hard through his nose. "I hate you. When I saw you, back in San Francisco, it was a nightmare."

"I know," Perrin said.

Rik cracked open one eye and peered at him. "You don't know what happened to me after I was sent away."

"Everyone suffers. If I learned anything from living amongst humans, it's that." Perrin looked at Jenny. "You okay?"

She nodded, flush with his concern for her. She could feel it trembling against the wall inside her mind. That, and disgrace that he had been violent in her presence. He hated himself for his temper, for how he used his fists, a curling disgust tempered with a desperate need -to protect you, shelter you, keep you safe- Jenny closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her head. Warmth surrounded her, deeper and cleaner than the tropic ocean air. Perrin's deep voice rumbled, "You should lie down again."

"No time," she murmured. "Tell me what you were fighting about before I showed up."

His mind went quiet-or the wall strengthened. She lost the tickle of his presence inside her head, a loss both soothing and disquieting.

Rik straightened slowly, still holding his stomach. "I told him he should remove the kra'a from your head."

Perrin made an ugly sound: part fury, part disgust. "It's too dangerous. But I don't think you care about that. If she dies, you win. You think it'll punish me."

"You're an idiot. This isn't about you."

"Enough." Eddie stepped between both men, giving them a long, measuring stare that held a surprising amount of ruthlessness. Heat rolled off him in throbbing waves. Behind him, Sajeev appeared, and just as quickly slipped away.

"Enough," Eddie said again, quieter, and looked at Perrin. "The earthquakes are happening more frequently, with increasing strength. Several tsunamis have hit the region, but there was enough warning for people to reach a safe distance from the coast. According to you, though, when the big one hits . . ."

"A simple evacuation won't be enough," Perrin said.

Eddie hesitated. "I won't presume to understand what's causing this. I've seen strange things. I can do strange things. But this . . . is beyond me. Doesn't mean I don't believe it, though. And Rik . . . Rik has filled me in on what you used to be. It was your job, once, to control this thing that's waking in the sea."

Perrin's mouth twisted. "I'll have to a.s.sume you got the full truth."

Rik looked away, rubbing his knuckles-golden light spreading briefly over his hands. "It can still be stopped."

"Not for that price," Perrin whispered.

Jenny stared. "If you had the kra'a-"

He whipped around, blocking her from the others-forcing her to retreat until the rail pressed against her back. He leaned forward, arms braced on either side of her. Huge man. Jenny shoved her fingers into his chest. "If you can stop this-"

"Not at the expense of your life." His hand curled around hers, engulfing it completely. Muscles ticked in his face, every straining inch of him so tense he was practically shaking. Emotions, she remembered. Perrin hid strong emotions so well. But if he was showing this much, if his control was so frayed . . .

Jenny covered his hand with hers, wishing she could see his eyes. A terrible ache built inside her, a swell of tenderness or compa.s.sion, love-she didn't know what to call it-just that it made her voice low and thick, her knees gangly like she was that twelve-year-old girl again, seeing magic.

"We're on the beach," she whispered to him. "Just you and me."

No one else would have understood. But Perrin sucked in his breath and went very still. In that stillness, in that perfect quiet, Jenny remembered they had an audience. She didn't see Rik, but Eddie hovered within reaching distance, watching them with open concern.

Afraid for her, she realized. Afraid Perrin would hurt her.

Slowly, deliberately, she pushed away from the rail and leaned in hard against Perrin's chest, pressing her cheek against his hot skin, wrapping her arm around his waist. His breathing hitched again, then-gently, tenderly-he hugged her against him, curling around her body with heartbreaking, trembling need.

Jenny held Eddie's gaze the entire time.

He was a smart young man. Color touched his cheeks, but his gaze remained thoughtful, a.s.sessing. Finally, he gave her a single nod and backed away, out of sight.

"Jenny," Perrin said, his voice low, barely a rumble. "I refuse to lose you."

Behind him, she heard a strangled sound-not laughter, not a sob, but something gut-wrenching and frightening. Eddie murmured a low word, and Rik said, "You'll lose her. You'll lose her to the wave and what follows. You'll lose her to your people when they come to carve the kra'a from her head. You'll lose her when they kill you for coming back to the sea."

Rik moved into sight. Eddie had one hand clamped on his shoulder, his mouth tight with displeasure. But that didn't stop the shape-shifter, who looked Jenny dead in the eyes, and said, "You don't understand what's coming."

Jenny stared at him, and a short quiet laugh escaped her. Perrin tried to turn her away from Rik; but she twisted out of his arms and walked to the young man. Self-pity was written all over him. Defiance, too. Anger.

But she smiled at him, and some of the ugliness seemed to hiccup in his face. Rik suddenly looked at her like she might bite, and, for a moment, Jenny wanted to.

We remember him, whispered the parasite, and behind her eyes she glimpsed a golden-eyed dolphin swimming lazy circles around a merwoman with long silver hair, her sharp lovely face tilted upward toward a ray of light streaming through the water. When she laughed, it sounded like bubbles made of crystal bursting, and when she touched the dolphin with long, delicate fingers, she made it look like a dance.

Then, nothing. Jenny blinked. Rik stood before her, and the sun was shining and hot. She was not in the sea, but in a boat, and her body was human. She had to remind herself of that.

A lot of things have happened to me that I don't have a f.u.c.king clue how to understand, she wanted to tell Rik. Take your s.h.i.t and shove it. You think you're the only one who has watched someone you love die?

But the words turned to ash on her tongue.

"You're right," she said instead. "I don't understand."

Rik stared, and that emotional hiccup happened again in his golden eyes, an involuntary twitch of anger and grief, and terrible loneliness.

The kid was so lonely. Plain as day. She knew friends surrounded him-the files on the men and women at Dirk & Steele were extensive-but there was a difference between paper and life, and the young man in front of her had been hurting so long and deep, she wondered if he would ever be able to let go of his pain.

Jenny sure as h.e.l.l hadn't.

Rik tore his gaze from her and looked down at his hands. Human hands: bronze skin, strong fingers. Eddie watched him worriedly. Perrin drew near, looming over them all. Jenny felt him inside her, behind the wall. His presence was the same as some vague memory of a dream-a pressure on the edge of her mind, filled with impressions. Quiet, now. Contemplative.

"When the Kraken wakes," Rik said softly, "it's going to break the f.u.c.k out of the earth. You know what kind of wave that will make, Perrin. And then it's going to go looking for a mate. The closest nest is near Hawaii."

"There's no female there," Perrin replied, voice hollow.

"Then they'll fight. And that'll cause more destruction. The survivor will go looking for another nest. And if there's no female there . . ."

Jenny swallowed hard. "There's no other kra'a?"

"A kra'a is attuned only to the Kraken that it came from," Perrin said, with particular heaviness. "It's the conduit between the minds of the Guardian, and beast."

"And there's only one," she murmured. "How did Les get to your cousin? Someone that important-"

"It should have been difficult to kill her." Perrin hesitated. "It must have been planned, very carefully. She would have trusted A'lesander."

And the kra'a? Did she trust that, too? Jenny wondered silently, hit with strange "doubt. Did the kra'a also want her dead so that it could be free?

No, answered that dry voice inside her head. But we did not object to the opportunity when it arrived. Pelena understood. We told her as much, before we left her body.

Jenny closed her eyes. You're s.h.i.t. You could have saved her.

She understood, repeated the kra'a. Some things cannot be changed. Pelena was not . . . right . . . for what we needed. Her dreams were weak. And dreams can never be weak.

I'm not any better, she told it. Go to Perrin.

We are already with him, it whispered. Two is better than one.

Jenny rubbed her eyes. Perrin said, "What is it?"

"You have to take the kra'a from me. You have to. There's no other choice."

The parasite twitched, but no dry voice filled her head. Perrin remained silent, as well.

Jenny drew in a deep breath. "We need to warn people, just in case this doesn't work. There's no way to evacuate everyone, but if I can reach my family-"

"Doesn't matter who you are or what connections you have," Rik interrupted. "Millions will still die. Those waves are going to crush the coasts and go miles inland. Not just one or two miles, either. We're talking fifty, a hundred. Never mind the earthquakes. Infrastructure will break down. Disease, starvation, panic-"

"I already got the rundown," she snapped, and reached around, digging through her tangled hair until she touched the parasite. Felt like a hard flat knot in the base of her skull, smooth as bone, as tightly bound to her as if it was part of her body. And it was, she realized, feeling sick. Deeper, even. Much deeper.

She thought the parasite would stop her when she tried to dig her trembling fingers under its edges, but instead Perrin grabbed her hand. He did not speak and she could only feel a ghost of his presence against the wall inside her mind. She wanted to feel more of him, right then. She was so afraid.

Sajeev appeared from the control station, scuttling into the sunlight with a wincing squint. He reminded her of a bald, leathery, tattooed crab. Beady black eyes, included.

"Trouble," he said.

Eddie walked to the rail, joined by Rik. "Where?"

Jenny looked, as well. Perrin crossed the deck to watch the sea behind her. Not a thing in sight. The engine was still running, motoring them along a northerly route, according to the position of the sun.

Sajeev did not answer Eddie. He reached inside the bridge to tap an MP3 player taped to the wall. Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" began blasting, so loud Jenny winced.

Swinging his skinny hips, singing to himself in a strange falsetto, Sajeev slid open a large panel in the outer wall and pulled out a sniper rifle. Bolt-action. Telescopic lens already mounted.

"Whoa," Rik said.

Sajeev ignored him, still dancing-thrusting, grinding his pelvis so vigorously, he should have dislocated his hips. Joints popped instead. Jenny vomited a little in her mouth, but she couldn't look away. She hoped the parasite was memorizing this moment for its future hosts, because d.a.m.n.

Sajeev dirty-danced the sniper rifle to the side of the boat and dropped down on one knee. His a.s.s twitched in time to the music as he propped the rifle on the rail. No bipod support, but there was a suppressor.

Suddenly, he didn't look very funny anymore.

When the song finished, nothing followed. Just a moment of pure dead silence, filled in seconds later with the sound of the engine spitting and rumbling, and the swell of the waves, and the wind.

Sajeev knelt perfectly still, staring through the scope. Jenny began to wonder if he was crazy.

Until he fired his weapon into the sea.

Fifty yards away, a jet of blood spurted into the air.

He pulled the trigger again. More blood, though not as much. Just enough to confirm a hit.

Sajeev leaned back, eyes narrowed, head tilted. And then he smiled.

"Better," he said.

Perrin leaned hard on the rail, staring. Without a word, he tossed his sungla.s.ses to Jenny and leapt into the sea. She leaned over, staring. Eddie's fingers grazed the back of her shirt.

"Not jumping," she told him irritably.

"Course not, ma'am," he replied smoothly, still hovering.