In Sickness And In Death Part 18

But this time, oddly enough, Ray didn't seem to think so. "I'm more interested in your friend, Leslie. I'm going to talk to her."

"About what?"

"About the fact that her driver's license says she's a male, not a female."

"That's not a crime, is it?"

"No, Jolene, it's not a crime."

"If you pull in her driveway, you're going to scare her to death."

"Only if she's guilty of something."

"Ray, everyone slows down when they see a sheriff's car behind them on the highway, even when they're not speeding. Everyone stops to look when a sheriff's car drives down their street. A sheriff's car in her driveway will scare her. She'll think you're coming with bad news or something."

"So what's your suggestion?"

"Come pick me up, and we'll ride out there together in the Lexus. I'll introduce you to her." Leslie was my new friend. I couldn't sic Ray on her without feeling guilty. This way, I could help frame the questions and draw some conclusions about her for myself. Because Ray was right about me as usual, I did like playing amateur detective. Cory and Danny would never miss me.

Ray's tone turned sarcastic. "And what reason will we give for stopping by?"

I thought for a moment. "Fresh brown eggs."

The country roads leading to the Flynn farm curved and tilted and rolled up and down and all around. Ray swooped through every turn and rocketed over every hill, clearly enjoying the opportunity to drive my Lexus. At times we were airborne, and Ray would let out a little whoop like he was enjoying the thrill ride. I, on the other hand, felt carsick.

We pa.s.sed a Mennonite farmhouse. I knew this because of the lack of electrical wiring to the house, the black buggy parked in front of the barn, and the long line of ankle-length, flowered-print dresses, blue jeans, and dress shirts on their laundry line. A quarter mile farther down the road, I spotted the farmer running his tractor in the field. He waved from the cab of his tractor when I looked at him. He wore a black hat even inside the cab. I wondered, as I often had, why tractors were acceptable to them while a car was not.

I asked Ray.

"They lead a simple life. I think cars are considered distracting, showy, and unnecessary."

Id never make it in their world. Neither would Ray.

Leslie's family farm overlooked the lake with a magnificent view of both the water and the hills surrounding it. Their white Victorian home with black shutters and covered porches on the front and side had very little adornment other than electrical wires, but perhaps that was due to the time of year. It also had no landscaping. The gra.s.s grew to the home's edges and a couple feet up the sides, brown with the onset of winter. Their driveway was gravel and mud. The red barn to the right of the house listed to one side. The steel barn behind it held most of the cows, while farm equipment rusted in between the steel structure and another low, ramshackle building covered with tar paper. Brown pastures fenced with barbed wire reached far back into the property.

Horse droppings lined the road ab.u.t.ting the Flynn's front yard. Perhaps a gift from their neighbor and one of the negatives a.s.sociated with the Mennonites' simple horse and buggy life.

As Ray pulled into the drive, I pointed with glee to the sign at the end of the drive offering fresh brown eggs for two dollars a dozen.

He rolled his eyes and parked behind the black Ford 4x4 in the driveway. The bed of the truck was filled with buckets, bags, tools including a hoe and an axe, and clumps of hay. A hunting rifle hung in the rear window. Clearly, this was Leslie's work vehicle, unlike the shiny yellow Mustang, which was nowhere in sight.

We climbed out of the Lexus and stood, waiting for someone to greet us.

A thin gray dog the size of a miniature horse appeared from the barn and trotted closer, sniffing our pant legs. Ray reached down to give him a pat on the head. The dog bounded away, snarling then barking an alarm.

"Quiet you!" A screen door slammed behind us. Leslie walked toward us, wearing her Carhartts and work boots, minus the new wig and makeup. She flashed her newly veneered smile.

"Hey, Jolene. Never mind Rufus. He's just a grump." She sized Ray up, her gaze lingering on his gun holster. "Who's your friend?"

"This is my husband, Ray Parker."

Ray held out his hand. Leslie wiped hers on her pant leg before shaking with him.

I flashed my best saleswoman smile at her. "I told Ray you had fresh brown eggs. We thought we might buy a dozen."

Leslie glanced from my face to Ray's and back again, seeming puzzled. "Never had one before?"

"I don't think so. We buy the white ones at the grocery store."

Something I thought might be doubt twinkled in the back of Leslie's eyes, but she took a few steps in the direction of the barn. "If you two want to wait here, I'll get you a carton."

"Okay, thanks."

Ray turned to study the house, the fields, and the barn that Leslie had disappeared into. "This is a big farm. They must have help."

"I think she said they did, but ask her."

He leaned against the Lexus. "I will."

I took a deep breath. "Something smells."

Ray grinned. "Everyone thinks cow manure smells, but they haven't smelled chicken s.h.i.t. And chicken coops run a close second to hog farming."

"You should know." I chucked him in the arm.

"Nice, Darlin', really nice. I'm glad you've got your sense of humor back."

I hadn't realized I'd lost it.

I shuffled my feet in the gravel and wondered how long Leslie would take to retrieve the eggs. "I thought Leslie would have on her new wig and makeup. She was so excited about it yesterday. She looks like her old self today, except for her teeth."

Ray shrugged. "She's back on the farm. If you hadn't called her Leslie, I would have thought she was a man."

"She has b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I could tell when she hugged me the other day. She doesn't have any facial hair."

"Her license says different." Ray continued to lean against the Lexus, his eyes glued to an enormous brown brick of manure mixed with hay drying on the far side of the barn.

"Why are you looking at that?"

He eased off the Lexus. "I was just thinking that's one place I'd never want to dig for a body."

Ew.

He went on, "Although, with the lack of oxygen in that pile, the body would probably be perfectly preserved."

Double ew. Was he trying to tell me something? "You don't have any reason to search the premises, do you?"

"No, I don't." But he continued to survey the area as though trying to think of one. "Tell her you'd like to meet her brother."

"Okay."

Leslie reappeared in the barn door, carrying a gray egg carton. She crunched down the gravel drive and held it out to me. "Here you go. They were laid this morning. Can't get much fresher than that."

"That's great, Leslie. Thank you." I fumbled in my purse, pulled out my wallet, and offered her the two dollars.

She waved me off. "After all you've done for me, they're on the house."

Ray and I thanked her again. Then Ray raised one eyebrow at me expectantly. He would let me take the lead, but only if I produced some results.

I swallowed and plowed ahead. "Leslie, I'd love to meet your brother. Is he around?"

She rubbed her chin. "He's milking right now."

Ray's eyes never left my face. I knew he was waiting for me to think fast. I did my best. "Could we go in and meet him? I've never seen the inside of a cow barn before."

Leslie picked up her boot and showed us the bottom, which was covered in mud, manure, and hay. "It's too hot and smelly in there, and you'd ruin your boots and the shine on Ray's shoes. Besides, we're a little behind. Our help quit."

I kept my gaze glued to Leslie's face. "Why?"

Leslie grinned. "I'm in the middle of a s.e.x change, Jolene. I think that's a first for Wachobe. I scare the h.e.l.l out of my neighbors. Even my brother's struggling to be supportive."

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. When I glanced at Ray, he had his "good-cop, bad-cop, whatever-you-need-me-to-be-cop" expression firmly in place.

Since Leslie had opened the door, I decided to keep asking questions. "Is that why you meet with Dr. Albert?"

She nodded. "My last visit is this week. A psychiatrist has to sign off before the final operation. Mine is scheduled for next month. I'm so excited. I've been a woman my whole life, but now I'm finally going to look like one."

I couldn't think of an appropriate response.

Ray's eyes narrowed, but he held out his hand to Leslie once more. "Nice to meet you, Leslie. Thanks again for the eggs and good luck with your operation. You'll have to keep Jolene informed." He headed for our car.

Surprised, I waved the egg carton at Leslie. "Has your love interest been by for any more eggs?"

A sad expression settled over her homely features as she shook her head. "I may have to buy the Caterham after all."

I tried to think of a delicate way to phrase the question in the back of my mind. "Does he know about your ... upcoming surgery?"

Her expression changed to amused. "He can't tell me and my brother apart. He thinks we're the same person. I planned on introducing myself wearing my wig and makeup this week."

"Well, like you said, we can always get you a Caterham." Although I still doubted it would make a difference. I thanked her for the eggs again and joined Ray in the car.

Leslie watched as we backed down the drive then waved as we pulled away.

I twisted in my seat to face Ray. "What do you make of her s.e.x change?"

Ray kept his eyes on the road. "It's definitely a first."

"We didn't get to meet her brother. I didn't want to be too obvious and insist."

"That's okay, Darlin'."

I could tell from his tone of voice that it really wasn't. "How will we find out if he even exists? She said the guy she's interested in thinks they're one and the same person. What if they are?"

Ray braked suddenly, swung the car around in a U-turn and stopped roadside, parallel to the Mennonite farmer who was still in the fields. "We'll ask her neighbor. Sit tight."

He climbed out of the Lexus and headed across the field toward the oncoming tractor. The farmer slowed the tractor as he neared Ray and cut the engine.

Ray pointed in the direction of the Flynn's farm. The farmer nodded.

I saw Ray's lips moving then the farmer's. After a minute or two of conversation, Ray waved to the farmer and walked back to the car.

The Lexus sank on the left side when he got in and slammed his door. "Theory one shot to s.h.i.t."

"What?"

"Leslie and her brother are not the same person. This guy says they're identical twins, and he's definitely seen them both at the same time as recently as yesterday."

"Identical twins means one egg?" How odd that one half of the same egg would turn out so differently.

Ray twisted the ignition key. "One egg, same s.e.x twins. That's what I remember from biology cla.s.s." He gunned the engine and took off like we were in the Indy 500.

My right leg instinctively tried to brake. Too bad the brake was on his side of the car.

He accelerated through a curve.

I gripped my door handle. I'd had enough G-forces for today. "Ray!"

"Sorry." He slowed down to fifty.

I tried not to notice the road signs recommending thirty-five miles an hour for the curves. I could take the speed. It was the curves that killed me.

Ray drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm moving Leslie and her brother up on my suspect list."

"Why? Leslie was very open with us. She's having a s.e.x change operation, which is definitely not a crime. Her brother exists. And none of the girls at The Cat's Meow could tie either of them to Jessica James, right?"

"True, but according to the neighbor, Leslie's brother's name is Peter."

"Peter?" My heart dropped.

"That's what the guy said."

"Another P name, like on the key chain."

Ray nodded, a grim expression on his face. "Exactly, but there's more to it than that." He gestured to the fields outside my windows. "Do you know what's just over there?"

"The Flynn farm?"

Ray gave me the look, the incredulous, you-are-so-naive look. "Yes, Darlin', but think about this farm in relation to the rest of the countryside. Think about the other side of this hill, at the bottom of the road, maybe a mile or so from here. What do you see?"