In Deep Shitake Part 26

"I've seen SpyMatrix fifty-six times," Clarence gushed. "Fifty-seven if you count the time it played in my hospital room when I had my tonsils out."

"Fab." Ross walked through to the dining room where he pulled out a chair from beneath the table and turned it around.

"But I don't usually count that time since I wasn't awake through the entire movie," Clarence said.

"Really," Ross drawled. He offered the seat to a grinning Clarence with a wave of his hand. The younger man plopped down.

The "interrogation team", comprised of Ross, Mo, Leo and Miss Kitty, surrounded Clarence.

"Okay, Clarence. Spill it." Mo demanded. "What's going on?"

"I can't believe it's you, Mr. Dagger," Clarence said, ignoring Mo. His eyes gleamed with excited adoration as he gazed up at Ross.

"Grant. It's Ross Grant," Ross said firmly.

"Oh yeah." Clarence grinned. "I'm the president of your fan club. It's called the Acolytes of Stephen Dagger."

"It would be," Mo said with sarcastic venom.

Leo's sputtered chuckle drew Mo's attention. He bent toward Miss Kitty and whispered in her ear. Susie looked up at him flirtatiously and laughed.

Oh pickles. The two of them were sharing a "Clarence" joke.

"Acolyte?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, you know a follower, devotee," Clarence replied.

"You know, Ross. Like the follower of a cult leader," Mo said.

"I know what acolyte means," Ross said with a frown. "You do know that Stephen Dagger is a character in a movie, don't you? He isn't real." Ross directed the comment to Clarence.

"Yes, but Stephen Dagger is worthy of worship. I've always felt that SpyMatrix is like the bible. All the secrets of the world can be learned from SpyMatrix if you know how to listen."

More snickering and shared looks pa.s.sed between Leo and Miss Kitty.

Mo couldn't stand it. She had to know about her brother and the catwoman. Mo pulled Leo away from the girl with the ears and took him into the parlor.

"What's with you and her?" Mo whispered furiously.

"She helped me locate Clarence at the convention," Leo whispered back. "So I could follow him."

"You're not dating her, are you?" Mo asked.

"Not yet," Leo answered. "But she has got a rockin' bod and I would like to know if she has a tail to go along with those ears."

"She doesn't."

"How do you know?" He asked with an arch to one eyebrow and a salacious smirk.

"Wipe that look off your face. She told Ross and me yesterday. Besides a tail would just be weird."

Leo laughed. "As opposed to the ears?"

"Just do me a favor and don't date her. Talley doesn't need a sister and I definitely wouldn't want to deal with her litter box."

"Don't worry, sis. She's a nice girl. She's only done a couple of fetish films. Nothing hardcore. In one she crawled around with a little collar and-"

"Oh my gouda. I don't want to know," Mo interrupted, clamping her hand over his mouth.

Leo laughed again and the two of them returned to Clarence, who was still gushing about his idol worship.

"You wouldn't believe how big the Acolytes have become. They can't wait for the sequel. It's all the talk on the loops."

"I'm not doing a sequel."

"You've got to. The Acolytes will be so disappointed."

"Hey, cottage cheese head," Mo said. "We don't want to know about the fan club. We want to know why you called the other night and told me Harry had a.s.signed me to break into Ross Grant's car."

His expression became blank. Then a frown emerged. Good the little bagel was finally realizing this was serious.

"I don't understand. I didn't tell you to break into anyone's car. Why would I do that?" His tone was so earnest and his gaze so sincere that Mo would have sworn he was telling the truth except that she knew for a fact that he was so totally lying.

"And I would never tell anyone to break into your car." The lying bagel turned his fake sincerity like a laser beam in Ross's direction. "I would never do such a thing, Mr. Dagger."

"Grant," Ross said with a distracted tone. He didn't seem focused on Clarence, but on his own thoughts.

"The call you got must've been from someone else," Clarence said with an exaggeratedly wide-eyed innocence.

"You." She glanced at Ross who met her gaze with a question in his eyes. "I spoke to you, Clarence. I know it was you."

The little bagel's eyes widened even further. "Are you sure you got a call at all, Ms. Tuttle?" Clarence glanced up at Ross, then back at Mo. Then Clarence winked.

"Did you just wink at me?"

"Why would I do that, Ms. Tuttle?"

More suspicions seemed to be swirling in Ross as he stood there silently. She had to do something.

"But you were using the Stephen Dagger name at the convention," Ross said.

"Sure," Clarence said. "I love pretending to be Dagger and being in costume at the convention was encouraged."

"Hmm," Ross said.

"If you don't have anything to do with this then what were you doing at the convention with Heather Davies?" Aha. Mo had him there.

"I'm president of her fan club too," Clarence replied easily. "We're working on a write-in campaign to the studio for her to be cast as Francesca in the SpyMatrix sequel. She's perfect for the role."

The creep had an innocent explanation for everything.

"It was Heather Davies, wasn't it?" Mo said. "She's behind the car break-in a.s.signment, right?"

"Of course not." Clarence shook his head.

Ross stared at a point in the distance as if deep in thought.

Clarence nodded.

"You nodded," Mo said seizing on the gesture. "It was Heather Davies."

Ross's head jerked around and he focused his attention on the receptionist.

"I didn't," Clarence said directly to Ross.

Ross glanced to Miss Kitty.

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I was looking at Leo," she admitted sheepishly.

"I was distracted too. Sorry, sis," Leo said, glancing from her to Miss Kitty.

"Oh for the love of cheese, he nodded," Mo said with exasperation.

"I did not," Clarence said nodding again.

"There he goes again," Mo cried. Did you see it this time?"

Ross scowled and shook his head. Leo shrugged and Miss Kitty's mouth curled in a negative indication.

"What about the break-in here? Why did you give someone the address to my house? Ross heard you on the telephone."

"Oh that," Clarence said with a laugh. "I'm sorry. That was the guy you went out with last week. The blind date."

Mo didn't remember any blind date.

"He wanted your address so that he could send you flowers. He said the two of you had a little misunderstanding and he wanted to make it up to you. He said he wanted another date even if you were kind of a ball break-well, you know."

"That doesn't even make sense." But from the expression on Ross's face it was making sense to him. "You told us not to go to Ross's hotel," Mo said. She had to have him there. Ross had heard that.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Clarence replied. "That must've been somebody pretending to be me.

"Oh, you are so fired Clarence."

"But, Miss Tuttle, what for?" Clarence asked with total innocence in his tone.

"For lying. I didn't go on any blind date last week. I haven't been on a date in six months that I didn't get paid to go on." That didn't sound so good even to Mo's ears.

"I mean-" Before she could explain that she'd only been on work related dates, the front doorbell rang.

Frosted flakes. "I'll get it," Mo said, heading away. What was at the door had to be better than what was in this room.

Thoughts of what she could say to turn this thing around swirled through her head as she traveled the short distance. There had to be some way to force Clarence to tell the truth. She had to have some way to wipe the suspicion from Ross's mind.

Mo looked out one of the gla.s.s side panels before she opened the door. "Creamed s.h.i.take on toast!"

Milton stood outside with a snide smirk curling his lip as he held a sheaf of papers, tapping them against the open palm of this other hand.

What did he want? Nothing good, that was for sure.

"Who is it, Mo?" Ross said from behind her.

Mo turned, startled.

"Ummm." Her cheeks felt so hot she knew they must've turned a bright scarlet. She had a split second to wonder how it was that she could feel- and no doubt look-so guilty when she was innocent while Clarence looked so innocent when he was definitely guilty.

Ross moved toward the side window. "Let's see, shall we?"

Mo stepped in front of him.

His eyes narrowed on her. Ross reached around to grasp the doork.n.o.b.

"You definitely don't want to open the door," Mo said.

"I think I do."

"Oh all right." Mo moved away and Ross opened the door.

Unfortunately, Milton hadn't disappeared. When he saw Ross, his lips formed a grin.

"What a pleasure to see you," Milton said.

"It isn't mutual," Ross replied.

Milton laughed. "May I come in?"

"No," Mo said, drawing the reporter's attention.

"Oh, Mo, there you are. My favorite actor and my favorite source in one place." The reporter barged forward, pushing past Ross and Mo. He entered the parlor and looked around as Leo, Clarence, and Miss Kitty looked on in confused silence.

"I wanna tell you I'm having one great day," Milton gloated.

"I'm glad somebody is," Mo muttered as she followed after him. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to come by and personally give you a preview of an article scheduled to appear in the National Star. You should be the first to see it in print. After all you were such a help." Milton held out the sheaf of paper-obviously a print-off from a computerized version. "It's a bonus that you're here too, Ross."

The headline grabbed her by the throat: "Ross Grant Caught in Romantic Tryst With Savannah PI." It was written in all capital letters. In smaller print below: "The wedding is off,' says his tearful fiancee." A photo of Ross bending toward Mo, their lips lightly touching in a kiss, occupied a fourth of the page. It would have been a sweet picture of new love, if it hadn't been obvious that they were caught coming out of a sleazy motel.

Milton turned to a page with more incriminatingly intimate photos. Mo tried to read the contents of the article.