BornAndTorn 11 My Name

Stuff like regrets is something you can have when you are still alive. I don't understand the life your life to the fullest sentiment people praise it like a mantra each and every day. Our society is built on a mountain of work and responsibilities, we specialize in something because our knowledge requires a certain depth in order to perform on the level a level the society needs it. You can't switch doctors and brokers and expect it to be a good trade.

Live your life to the fullest, as long as you still fulfil your role in society. Society is the greater good, peaking high above the individuum. Humankind has to survive. We are just like ants in that regard. And just like ants, we die.

How many people will remember you? Maybe 1, or 2 of your dearest friends, 100 people because you were quite famous in your hometown. Or even more, because you were a celebrity, and now you are an entry in Wikipedia for as long as the human species exist, is that not what you could wish for?

Most people live in their own little microcosmos, they only get to know a certain amount of people, see only a little bit of the world they live in and will only be remembered by certain people for a certain amount of time and yet those people will mostly die with a grin on their face.

Is it the feeling of impending doom, that forces them to accept the grim reality and indulge in every little happiness they can feel, is it the experiences they made that they look back on with a sense of pride? Is it the illusion, that they might meet the people who pa.s.sed before them? Is it the unknown that they look forward to? Reincarnation, heaven, h.e.l.l, eternal nothingness. There are several ways to view the world, several approaches to what awaits us. There will be no answers, no insightful perspectives. We are just a grain of sand in this wide universe and that leaves us with the last stage of the grieving process.

Acceptance.

Live your life to the fullest, you will never know what comes afterwards. Don't waste time regretting, the current you only will have this one life it will experience. Make friends, create memories, even if it is just a single moment you will be remembered for, make it worthwhile for that moment. Live your dreams and even if you are stuck inside a world you hate, remember its a world you know. The worst enemy is the one you do not know of.

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I laughed at my own silliness, look at me the great philosophical genius, spouting sophisticated c.r.a.p when I am about to disappear. No matter how you view life, life is just something that is and that is not at the same time. There is no general truth, each and every single individuum creates its own path and makes its own experiences.

f.u.c.k fate, f.u.c.k destiny, f.u.c.k the unavoidable. I am here at the moment and that is enough.

I do not care about the aftermath just let me be in charge of my own path. Even if I am just data created by someone else. I refuse, to just be a mere ant. I want to be something, impact something. What I want is a life worth living not a fake acceptance of the unavoidable demise. I do not want to live a f.u.c.king lie, call it a nightmare, call it bulls.h.i.t, call it hypocritical but I will not bow down my head in acceptance. Even in front of so-called G.o.ds, demons, angels, or mythical beings, I want to stand proudly not starring at them in awe.

I must thank the people in my last life, they all had their faults and good parts. My parents conceived me and taught me valuable lessons about humans in general, my sister for sharing a bond with me even though it did not last. My girlfriend for showing me the worth of companionship and every single individuum. I am grateful and I wish you are happy life but my part in your story has ended. I won't cling to the past vowing revenge on every single one of you, frankly, I won't be able to do it in the first place so it is pointless to worry about someone that will never be part of you in this life.

My life starts now in this world. The new me will carve its own path, there will be no more bulls.h.i.t distracting my brain and creating an illusion. This life is mine for the taking, if I have to be cruel I will be cruel, if someone wants to take something from me they will have to pay the price. If I have to be a devil, I will be one, if I have to be an executioner I will be one.

Acceptance may be the last step of the grieving process, but what comes afterwards depends on each and every person.

My answer was a simple one. A new beginning.

A new beginning includes a new protagonist, a new perspective, new questions, and new answers. So why would I bother thinking about tomorrow when the change is happening today? Why remember yesterday, when it has no more influence?

The only thing that matters, is me now. I should quit wasting my time spectating memories of my other self. It is time for a change. Leaving my old name and memories behind, I will choose a new one I deem fit.

I will not be content with just observing, I will be an active part in the decisionmaking of my story.

I will be the Narrator and the Actor.

Call me Moirai.