I Play the Role of (Villain/Heroine) in a Japanese-style Otome Game Chapter 16.1

A healing character, right when Yui needs one.

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Wafū Otome Gē de (Akuyaku/Hiroin) Yattemasu

I Play the Role of a Heroine
 – The Happiness of Living Together 3 [Part 1]

Translated by nakimus.h.i.tl
Support the translations by reading at the translator's site.

　Thus, I told him everything.
About Chako, and also about the others.

　Even though I decided not to choose anything or get involved with anyone, I easily told him.

　Pathetic.
The weak me is pathetic.

　Still, it's enough.
Enough already.

　I wanted to speak calmly but tears come out as I speak.
I'm not sure if it's out of sadness or vexation.
The director listened to the emotional me, whose words had become incoherent.
Then, he brings together the hands that he crossed in front of his body, closes his eyes and breathes out slowly.
As if they are trying to endure something, his brows knit tightly while those light blue eyes stare at me.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
"I… don't think turning back time is bad."

　The kind voice sinks into my heart.

　… Aah. The director is a kind person.
He's trying to acknowledge such a pathetic and weak me.

　But he's wrong.
He's wrong.

　I'm.
I am――

"No, it was bad to turn back time. This power, didn't exist to be used in that way… It's just as Chako said. ――It's just as Chako said at the beginning."

　”True End,” Chako said as she laughed.
『The Legitimate Ending』.
That's right.
It should've been that way.

"I should've revived Kousuke-kun and ended things there."

　In the 1st round.
If, back then.
I had revived Kousuke-kun just like Chako said.

"The more I redo, the more… I become an awful woman."
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　Things could have ended without me becoming a pathetic and awful woman.

　The tears I temporarily put a dam on, overflow without end.
I no longer feel like stopping them.

"Out of selfishness and calculations, I approached Tomotaksenpai and raised a transaction to exchange Chako with me…"

　I was the worst.
I knew Tomotaksenpai was in pain.
The warped senpai. I used him.
And, once Chako disappeared, I immediately turned back time.

　Pretending not to notice the one in pain.

"Even though I knew Kousuke-kun and Tomotaksenpai were troubled, I ignored that and approached Kuo-sensei. In order to make him like Chako, I instigated Chako a number of times."

　I used a person's feelings of love.

"Knowing that Kuo-sensei wanted to leave behind something, I used that and made him save Chako."

　It didn't matter whether or not sensei and Chako turned out well.
I only wanted『The Strongest Phantom In This World』's help.
However, it didn't work.
I turned back time again.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
"I had Yuusei-kun make me strong and encourage me. Even though I was only pulled along by Yuusei-kun's strength, I grew conceited that I, myself, became strong. I neglected Chako's suffering…"

　Using『The Peerless Onmyouji』, I had hopes that I could save her.
That if it's me, if I became strong, I could save Chako.

"Finally, I thought I could save her, but Chako wouldn't take my hand… I know, Chako can't live with such a me… with an awful woman like me."

　Chako said it's fine already.
That it's fine already.

　I know. An awful woman like me is unsuitable for Chako.
I can't stay beside Chako, can I.

"That's why, I don't want to work hard anymore…"

　That's right.
I didn't want to work hard.
I didn't want to be an awful woman anymore.

"I stopped attending school, and stopped getting involved with others… once I do that, it caused troubles for Father and Mother… I don't know what I'm doing anymore…"

　Shutting myself in the house, treating Chako coldly.
Causing my parents so much worry.
Despite that, I don't know what I'm doing.
What am I doing?
What do I want to do?

"I'm so pathetic, and so awful…"

　Once I thought that, a thought entered my head w.i.l.l.y-nilly.

"That I became like this all because I met Chako… I should've ignored Chako and only thought about my own happiness."
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　The me who thought like that.
Was the most awful.

"I hate Chako."

　Tormenting and tormenting me, then disappearing at the end.

"I hate Chako the most."

　Even though I wasn't satisfied at all, she got satisfied on her own and disappeared with a smile.

"I don't want to work hard anymore. No more."

　Her face as she laughs "Ehehe."
Her playful statements that it's fun to be with Yui-chan.
Her eyes that narrow happily when I call her Chako.

　Everything.
Everything.

"――Even then, I couldn't give up."

　That's why, I entrust it to you.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
Support the translations by reading at the translator's site.

　Please make me give up.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
Support the translations by reading at the translator's site.

　Please get angry at me.
Please, tell me to give up already.

　If you do, I'll surely give up.

　Even though I'm greedy and bad at giving up, I can give everything up if this person gets angry at me.
If it's this person, a child of the Priestess of Ominous Clouds and this school's director who lived for 200 years.
If this person stops me.

　Wanting him to get angry at me.
Wanting him to tell me to give up already, to stop me, I continue to speak.
However, the words that come from the director aren't any of those.

"I apologise."
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　Bitterness runs in his kind voice as he extends an apology.
Not understanding why I'm being apologised to, my brows knit tightly.

"I wanted to remain a bystander."

　At the strange-sounding word, I look at the director with wet eyes.
Despite his visible pain, the director looks at me gently.

"Even though you were suffering, and I was the one and only person who could notice that…"

　I'll say it again, I'm projected in his kind, light blue eyes.

"I, don't think turning back time is bad. ――However, your heart gets tired with that, doesn't it?"

　Those words resound gently in my heart.

"Not coming true no matter how many times one wishes. You've been carrying on like that."

　At the director's words, I think back to the things I've done up till now.
I've been stepping on the same time for 4 years already.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　Not coming true no matter how many times I wished.
And being rejected by the person in question at the end.

　For what reason had I been doing this?

"… No one, remembers me. Even though we had so much fun, and talked so much."

　No matter how close we become, it ends when I turn back time.
The memory of laughing together or the memory of talking face-to-face, they won't return.

"All the chats I had with Kousuke-kun after cla.s.s and Tomotaksenpai's innocent smile. Kuo-sensei's warm hand and Yuusei-kun's sparkling black eyes. ――Even though I know, and remember… However, no one knows about me now."

　Once I speak, feelings that even I didn't notice, come out in the form of words.
… I see. I was tired.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
"I… even though it was what I chose but…"

　No one asked me to.
I decided on my own, and turned back time.
I knew everyone would forget me.
I knew but…

"Chako messages me sometimes. About the inter-cla.s.s matches or the midterm tests. That alone connects me with everyone… Messages alone, that I can't even reply."

　What a thin connection.

"As expected, that, hurts a little."

　My heart tightens excessively when I put it into words.

　It hurt to be alone.
It was lonely.

"That no one knew about me… That no one remembered my hard work."

　I speak the words that surface in my heart along with tears.
Although my words are probably nothing but trouble to the director, he listened till the end with those kind eyes.
Then, he envelops me. [1]
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
"… I know."

　The light blue eyes look at me.

"You've been working hard. Right?"

　… Un.
I'm, working hard.
I'm working hard.

"Even now… you've always, been working hard."
"… Yes. Yes…"

　I'm pathetic.
Even though it was my decision and I did it on my own, I wanted someone to know.
That the me who works hard, exists.

"You may not want to attend school anymore. However, you won't be able to attend other schools. Because power had been gathered here in order to protect the Priestess of Ominous Clouds."
"… Yes."
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　The director speaks, in consideration of the pathetic me who cried myself out.

"You can't regain the days you were absent for but, thankfully it's before the summer break. You can advance as per routine if you take supplementary lessons in summer break."

　The director probably did some thinking in order for me, who'd shut myself in while playing truant, to return to a normal life.
He's pointing out the road to me, who didn't even think of advancing.

"It will probably be tough for you to go to cla.s.s so, you can come here."
"Here?"
"Yes. It's just like going to the infirmary. I'll handle your attendance so you don't have to worry… It's fine if you don't take lessons. You're probably familiar with them already after all."
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　The first semester's midterm test.
I've already memorised the questions and answers.
Ah, but, I'll be taking a supplementary test so it may be slightly different.

"Once you're a 2nd-year, I can separate your cla.s.s from those 3."
"… Yes."

"With that, you can probably attend school normally. You can spend your school life in a new cla.s.s and find new friends."

　… Can I take him up on that?
Is it okay if I'm the only one living a normal school life?
Can I redo from now?

　I'm enticed by the director's words.

"What about everyone?"

　Even then, as expected, I'm concerned about this.
Although there's nothing I can do anymore…
What about Kousuke-kun? What about Tomotaksenpai? What about Kuo-sensei and Yuusei-kun?

　――What about Chako?

　Will Chako not disappear?
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
　Perhaps having read my anxiety, the director goes "It will be fine," with a smile.
That smile is so gentle.
That I want to renounce everything.

"The one you're concerned about is, Tomonaga Chako… that child, right?"
"Yes…"
"If I stand by you, the strife between phantoms and onmyouji and the infighting in the onmyouji faction probably won't happen. I've been inactive so far but, I can keep a close eye on them… even then, it's not definite that something unexpected won't happen. So if she disappeared again and again, it's better that I pay close attention this time."

　Even if I choose the director.
Is the director truly a neutral party?
However, he has power.
Only, it's not certain that something won't happen.
And, with that something as the cause, it's not definite that Chako won't disappear.

　The director nods slowly, as though to take away my anxiety.
Then, he says something completely out of expectations.

"We just have to let Tomotaka keep a close eye."
"Let senpai?"

　My voice grew loud unconsciously.
Because, senpai is…
It's not an exaggeration to say the root cause lies with Tomotaksenpai.
Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
"Yes. Tomotaka seems rather obsessed after all. I'll make Tomotaka understand his obsession with that child. Then, if I pay attention such that Tomotaka won't head in a bad direction, I believe Tomotaka will put in effort so that that child doesn't disappear."

　As though to soothe my bafflement, the director continued to speak.

"But… in the 4th round, senpai made Chako strengthen herself to the point where she lost her ego. Even if it's fine now, won't it become something that will torment Chako in the end?"

　That's right.
It may be fine when we're in high school.
However, as long as Chako's Tomotaksenpai's familiar, isn't there a chance that her ego will collapse at any time?

　Unable to trust in the director's proposal, I knit my brows.

"Tomotaka may certainly be a little warped. However, I don't think he's hung up over making his power stronger to that extent… Perhaps, the effects of turning back time emerged in the other children too."Translated at nakimus.h.i.tl.wordpress.com
Support the translations by reading at the translator's site.

[1] This sounded weird to me even in j.a.panese. He didn't hug her or anything. It's more emotional/verbal.