I Found My Heart In San Francisco: Karma Part 6

Mia had been silently observing this entire dialogue, but she finally got up and took Jordan's hand. "Excuse us, Ryan, but I promised Jordan lunch, and we've only got an hour to spare."

As they left the kitchen and started for the stairs, Ryan pointed out. "Food's in the kitchen, girls."

"That's not what Jordan has a craving for," Mia said lightly as she tossed her curly brown hair and shot Ryan a wink.

After practice, Ryan decided that Jordan and Jamie were right - she had to get some indication from Coach Hayes as to her plans for the season, as well as take care of some special arrangements she needed to make. "Hey, Coach?" she called as she started to walk back to her office.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a few minutes to discuss a couple of things?"

She looked at her watch and warned, "My family is waiting for me for dinner, Ryan. Is it quick?"

"Uhm, probably not," she said honestly. "I'll make an appointment."

Coach Hayes looked at the concerned face for a moment and relented. "Come on, if it's important enough to make that face, I guess I can spare a few minutes."

"I'm not very good at hiding my feelings," she admitted as she tagged along beside her coach. When they reached the office, Ryan asked, "Do you mind if I get out of my wet jersey?"

"Go ahead. I'll call home while you change."

A few minutes later, Ryan walked back into the office in a dry T-shirt and her warm up jacket. She sat down in the chair facing the desk, and waited for the coach to hang up the phone. When she did, she gazed at the younger woman and said, "You're right when you say you don't hide your feelings well, Ryan. It's obvious you're unhappy with your playing time, but I need you to know that I don't explain my decisions to every unhappy player."

Ryan was a bit taken aback by her comments, but she immediately regained her poise and said, "I do want to ask what your plans for me are, but not for the reason you suspect. I've been asked to try out for the volleyball national team, but I have no intention of doing so if it would let the basketball team down. So my real question is, do you think you need me enough to give up this opportunity?"

Coach Hayes leaned back in her chair and stared at Ryan for a moment. "I didn't realize you were that talented at volleyball," she said slowly.

"I'm not sure I am, but it's nice to be asked to try out. And just for the record, Coach, I never would question your judgment about playing time. I admit I'm disappointed that I haven't been allowed to contribute more, but I trust you to make the correct decisions for the benefit of the entire team."

"Good," the older woman said briskly. "Now, how can I help you?"

"Well, as I said, I like to play basketball, Coach. I made a commitment to play for this team, and I intend to honor that commitment if you're relying on me."

"I don't understand how my input affects your commitment, Ryan. A commitment is just that. If you want to break your promise to the team, that's your decision. I'm not going to make it easy for you by telling you it doesn't matter."

The player blew out a frustrated breath and lowered her head, staring at the floor for a moment. "Look, Ryan," the older woman said., "I appreciate the spot you're in, but I don't want to be the one to make this decision for you. I can't promise you that you'll play much - if at all. There's a good chance that you'll end up being the best player on the team, but things could just as easily go the other way. You have to do what you think is right."

Ryan forced her mouth into a smile. "Thanks for being honest with me, Coach. I need to decide within the next day or two, so I'll let you know."

"Good," the older woman said as she stood.

"One more thing," Ryan spoke up. "I'm scheduled to take a math test on the day of our game down at FresnoState. It's a national thing, and it's scheduled for that morning. I can get the okay for a delayed start, but I have to take it that day - and that day only."

"And?" the coach asked, arching an eyebrow.

"And... I wanted to know if I could fly home, rather than take the bus. There's a five o'clock flight that would allow me to get to school by around six-thirty, if it's on time."

Narrowing her gaze, the coach asked, "What makes you so sure that the game will be over in time for you to make the flight?"

"Well," she said, flushing a little under the gray-eyed scrutiny, "I don't really play that many minutes, Coach. I thought I could leave at four, whether or not the game's over."

The older woman drew in a breath and said, "Ryan, if that's your att.i.tude, you may as well quit. Either you're a member of the team, or you're not. Making your own schedules and traveling separately indicate a real inability to understand what a team is all about." She stood to go, arching her eyebrow again as she c.o.c.ked her head. "Is there anything else?"

Ryan stood, shaking her head the entire time. "I'll stay for the game and ride home with the team," she said quietly. "I have to be accompanied by a faculty member for the entire time period of the test. Are you willing to keep an eye on me from nine to noon, and one to three on that day?"

"That's my job, Ryan," she said, giving her a small, insincere smile. "I keep my eye on everyone."

Being in a bit of a fog when she left the office, Ryan's distraction caused her to slam into Lynette, who was trying to enter. "Oh, s.h.i.t!" she cried as she immediately reached out and grabbed the a.s.sistant coach's shoulders to steady her.

"Jesus! No wonder you play such good defense! If I ran into you on a pick, I wouldn't be in a hurry to repeat the experience!"

"I'm really sorry, Lynette," Ryan said as she looked at the a.s.sistant carefully to a.s.sess the damage. "I just wasn't paying attention."

Lynette returned her look of concern, and nodded her head in the direction of the office. "Were you speaking to the coach?"

"Yeah."

"Is anything wrong? You didn't quit did you?"

"Ah, no, why a.s.sume something is wrong?"

"Well, she doesn't spend much time talking to players. That's our job," she explained, meaning she and the other a.s.sistant coaches.

"I got that impression," Ryan conceded. "Do you have time to talk to me for a few minutes, Lynette?"

Lynette gave her a genuine smile and said, "I always have time, Ryan. That's my job."

"Is it against your policy to fraternize with players?"

"No," she said with a gentle laugh. "I don't know of any other way to get to know people."

"How about dinner at my house?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Let me just call Jamie and see if she minds," she said as she pulled her phone out of her gym bag.

Lynette waited patiently as a grin spread across Ryan's face. "I still don't know how you always know it's me," she chuckled.

After a pause she smirked and said, "Jamie, I do not believe that the phone rings differently when I call, but it's sweet that you think so." Her smile grew bigger as she said, "I will tell you. Would you mind if I brought Lynette Dix home for dinner?" She looked at Lynette and nodded as she said, "I knew you wouldn't mind, but I think it's polite to check. We'll be there in ten minutes, honey. I love you."

As she hung up she smiled and said, "I came on Rollerblades. Do you want to run alongside or drive me home?"

Ten minutes later they were sitting in the cozy kitchen, preparing to eat the delightful coq au vin that Jamie had prepared. Ryan had filled Lynette in on her conversation with Coach Hayes on the way to the house, but she took a minute to bring Jamie up to speed.

"So what are you really looking for Ryan?" Lynette asked as she took a sip of the wine Ryan had just poured for her. "Do you want advice on whether to accept the offer from the volleyball program, or do you want my opinion on whether we'll use you more this season?"

Ryan leaned back in her chair and took a sip from her gla.s.s as she gazed at the coach thoughtfully. "Neither, actually," she said. "I want your opinion on whether I'm an addition to the team, or a distraction."

"That's it?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah. If I decide not to try out for the Olympic team, I want to stay and contribute if I'm wanted. But I have no interest in investing my time if it'll just make things worse."

"Coach didn't give you any feedback, did she?" she asked knowledgably.

Ryan just shook her head.

"Okay, I'll give you my take. We'll be a better team when you get more minutes. And nothing makes a team gel as well as winning. So I predict that if you stay, things will get substantially better on the court. But I can't guarantee that will translate to off the court."

Jamie brought the heavy cast iron Dutch oven over to the table as she asked, "Why do you think the team is so fragmented, Lynette?"

"Boy, this smells delicious, Jamie," she said appreciatively. "I don't get many home cooked meals." She leaned over her bowl and took another deep whiff as she smiled again. "I don't even want to wait until it cools, so I'll answer your question to distract myself. Obviously I can't tell you too much, since some of the things I know are confidential. Let's just say that the team has gotten a little more cliquish in each of the five years I've been here. We haven't had much leadership from the uppercla.s.smen, and, as you know, they set the tone for a team. But I honestly don't see much of that changing. I just worry because I can see the freshmen already being infected by it."

"I see that too," Ryan said. "It seems like Franny's afraid to speak."

"Yeah. Blacks, whites, freshmen and Eastern Europeans," she said wryly. "It must seem just like back home in the Balkans for the Croatian girls."

"So just Janae, Franny and I are not in a clique?"

"Pretty much," Lynette admitted.

Ryan nodded her head slowly, looking as if she had made up her mind. "That's what I thought. It looks like we'll have to either take over one of the other cliques or start one of our own."

"You're gonna need some luck, Ryan," the older woman warned. "The team's not only fragmented, I think most of the players like being in their little groups. I don't see that they're motivated to leave them."

"Ryan's very persuasive," Jamie a.s.sured her, exchanging a fond look with her partner.

"I don't doubt that, Jamie," Lynette agreed, "but this task could be beyond even Ryan's skills."

We'll just see about that, Ryan decided, already trying to figure out how to appeal to the small groups.

"Did it help to get Lynette's perspective on the team?" Jamie asked when they were getting ready for bed.

"Yeah, I guess so," Ryan said. "I know we have our work cut out for us, but I still think Janae and I can make a difference."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you've made up your mind."

"No, I really haven't, Jamie. I won't make that decision without you."

"Uh-uh, Ryan. I don't want any part in this one," the smaller woman said, shaking her head decisively. "This has to be your decision. You're the one who will have to put out the effort, so you're the one that needs to decide."

"But your life will be thrown upside down, too," Ryan insisted, wide-eyed.

"I know it will, but not as radically as yours will be." She put her arms around her partner, and said, "I'm not in as big a hurry to graduate, and I'm not in a hurry to start to work. Living in Colorado Springs for a year could be a kick," she smiled. "I love to ski, and I could really work on my technique while you're jumping through the roof of the gym." She gave Ryan such a look of devotion that the larger woman felt her heart swell with love.

"You're such a wonderful partner," she sighed. "So supportive... so caring."

"All true," Jamie smiled. "And you'll be there for me if ever the situation is reversed."

"All true as well," Ryan confidently agreed. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of Jamie's head and said, "I should be able to decide about the Olympics once I get a little more information. Then I need to decide if I want to stay on the basketball team if I don't go to Colorado."

"How are you feeling about that?"

"It's one thing if I quit to join the Olympic team," she said. "It's a very different thing to quit just because I don't like it. As much as it p.i.s.sed me off, Coach Hayes had a good point. I did make a commitment, and I have to decide if my word is worth more than my happiness."

The smaller woman rubbed Ryan's back and said, "They have a commitment to you too, Ryan. Are they living up to it?" Ryan blinked at her, an almost vacant look in her blue eyes. Jamie explained, "They have a commitment to make the team as good as it can possibly be. That includes taking the time to figure out that you're a fantastic player, and can help them a great deal."

Ryan nodded, a confused look on her face. "I guess that's true," she mused.

"They have a commitment to help you develop as a player, Ryan. They have an obligation to treat you with some respect. They can't throw a group of people together and just expect them to survive," she insisted. "They have to do their jobs, so the players can do theirs."

Looking absolutely stunned by Jamie's words, she said, "I've never thought of it like that. I guess it does go both ways."

"Look, Ryan, I know that your word means a great deal to you, but don't let your promise stop you from getting something that you really want."

Ryan nodded tentatively, "I'll try not to." She sighed, then yawned loudly. "This has been a b.i.t.c.h of a day!"

"Oh, I noticed that you got a note from Moira," Jamie said. "How is she?"

"Good," Ryan said, slipping into bed and cuddling up to Jamie when she joined her. "She just wanted to thank us for the hospitality. Boy, I hate that we spent so little time together. Normally, I'm like her little shadow when she's here."

"She's really special to you, isn't she?"

"Oh, yeah," Ryan sighed. Turning to look closely at her partner, a note of concern in her blue eyes, she asked, "Didn't you think she was special?"

"Yes, I did. I was particularly charmed by how much she seems to love you, but even without that vital trait, she was a very cool woman. Not very much like Maeve at all, much to my surprise."

"No, she's really not. She's much more like my mom," Ryan agreed. "I think that's why she and my mom weren't overly close - they were too much alike."

"But she and your mom got on well, didn't they?"

"Oh, sure. They were friends, but they weren't as close as my mom and my Aunt Maeve - they were inseparable." Ryan paused thoughtfully and said, "You know, my mom didn't really want to come to America. She was perfectly happy in Ireland. As a matter of fact, I think she would have worked on my father to return if she had lived. She wasn't all that crazy about the United States - she thought it was a very dangerous place to raise kids."

"Did she come only because of your aunt?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Well, my aunt and my father," Ryan grinned. "She apparently fell in love with him at first sight."

"I know exactly how she felt," Jamie sighed as she scooted closer, and wrapped her arm around Ryan's waist. "I can still remember the flip my stomach did the first time you turned around, and I got a look into those baby blues."

"Aww, you say the sweetest things," Ryan smiled.

"I speak the truth," Jamie a.s.sured her. "I still get the same flutter when you look at me now, you know."

"Like this?" Ryan asked softly, as she locked her eyes upon her partner and gave her a s.e.xy smile.

"Works every time," Jamie insisted as she captured the pink lips with her own.

PART 4.