Hummingbird Lake Part 24

"Pretty good. Our builder has promised the house will be ready by mid-August. We intend to be in and settled in time for Billy to start school in September."

"Any luck finding a buyer for the Bristlecone?" Ali gazed around the restaurant a bit wistfully.

"Not yet. We're not in a hurry, though, because thankfully our plans don't hinge on our ability to sell the Bristlecone first." As she topped off Colt's gla.s.s, she glanced out the window and clicked her tongue. "There's that wonderful Mr. Keene. He is such a nice man. So handsome, too. Don't you think?"

"He's adorable," Colt drawled in a dry tone.

Ali laughed as Sarah and Nic rejoined their table. "If you'll bring me our check, Glenda, we need to get moving."

"Don't we get to have dessert?" Nic protested. She looked at Sarah. "Didn't you make a chocolate cake for Glenda this morning?"

"I did."

"Then we need to stay and-"

"Nope." Ali grinned without remorse. "I promised Gabe I'd have you home by eight."

Nic threw Colt a pleading look. "Don't you want dessert, Colt?"

"Not enough to risk the wrath of Sage if we're late." He stood. "C'mon, Mrs. Callahan. I'll walk you home."

"Okay." Nic sighed audibly as she stood. Then she gave Ali a genuine smile and added, "I had fun this afternoon, Ali. Working with those children was a joy."

"It was a joy for them, too," Ali replied. "You can always count on kids loving animals."

"We got lucky to have two litters of kittens for the show-and-tell part of the program."

"Speaking of litters," Sarah said, "you have five minutes to walk home before you're officially late."

Colt kissed first Sarah's cheek, then Ali's, and said, "Thanks for the meal. Y'all have a good night."

As they exited the restaurant, Colt gave the Angel's Rest footbridge one last look, and he was disheartened to see that Rose and Mr. Hollywood were still chatting up a storm. I hope she knows what she's doing. To distract himself, he asked Nic, "So, you don't seem worried about how your girls and Sage are getting along?"

"I'm not. This is the third time Sage has babysat for me. She did fine the other times."

Colt wondered if Nic knew that Sage got so nervous ahead of time that she couldn't keep a thing in her stomach. He decided it was probably best he didn't share that little fact.

The walk to the Callahans' took less than five minutes. They entered the house through the front door to find Sage sitting on the family room floor stacking wooden blocks for the romper-clad beauties to knock over. At eight months old and crawling, the blue-eyed twins sported short blond curls and various bruises that had Colt glancing from the babies to Sage to Nic in concern. Neither of the women appeared to be concerned, so he deduced that he need not be, either.

"Hey, you two," Sage said, looking up from the stack of blocks. "How did it go?"

"Great," Nic said as Gabe wandered out from the kitchen, a dish towel slung over his shoulder. "I had a wonderful time. The kittens were a total hit with the children. How did things go here?"

"We did just fine," Gabe told his wife. Hearing their mother's voice, the twins made a U-turn and crawled toward their mama. "Sage even juggled feeding them by herself when they woke up early from their naps and I wasn't back yet from helping you."

"Oh no." Nic winced.

Sage stood, brushed cracker crumbs off her jeans, and smiled. "I enjoyed it. I'm glad I was able to help. I don't think Meg and Cari are too traumatized by my inexpert care." Meeting Colt's gaze, she asked, "How was the mad scientist's presentation?"

"Dry ice is always a hit with the kids." Then, because he saw the tightness around her eyes, he said, "You ready to go?"

"Sure." Sage kissed Nic's babies good-bye, hugged both Nic and Gabe, then strolled casually out the door. She maintained her slow, carefree step until she was out of the Callahans' line of sight. At that point she sagged against the neighbor's front gate, bent over double, and drew in deep, shuddering breaths. Colt patiently waited her out, giving her his silent support, and when she'd once again gathered her strength, he clasped her hand in his and continued their walk, saying, "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

"Yes," she replied, giving a shaky laugh. They traveled half a block before she replied. "Why do you do it, Rafferty?"

"Do what?"

"Put up with my ... weirdness. Why haven't you run as hard and fast as you can the other way?"

They strolled down Pinyon Street past Community Presbyterian Church, and when he spied the park bench surrounded by roses in the church's garden area, he steered her toward it. "Why am I not running?" he repeated. "That's easy, Cinnamon. It's because I love you."

She sucked in a breath and sank down onto the bench. "No, you think you might be falling in love with me."

"No. I've landed, and I'm sure. I love you, Sage. I want to make a life with you."

"Tell me this isn't a marriage proposal!"

The horror in her tone made him wince. "I don't have to worry about becoming egotistical when I'm hanging around you, do I?"

Sage leaned back against the bench and closed her eyes. "I don't mean to be insulting."

"I know."

"I just ... I'm a terrible bet, Rafferty. I am such a basket case and I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt you. I like you too much for that."

"See, I'm making progress."

She sighed. "You don't give up, do you? You're like Angel Creek, always pounding away at the creek bed. Even during winter when the creek is frozen over, the current is still there beneath the ice, slowly eroding the rocks."

Colt sat beside her and linked her fingers with his. He didn't say any more, simply offered her his constant support. Following a few moments of silence, she asked, "Would you take me home, Rafferty?"

He wanted to release a frustrated sigh, but he refrained and reminded himself that he thrived on challenge.

They made small talk as they walked to the car and during the short drive out to Hummingbird Lake. He pulled into her driveway and switched off the ignition, and when Sage climbed out of the car, it didn't surprise him that she headed away from the house rather than toward it. The fishing pier was one of her favorite places around.

"Do you want me to hang around?" he asked.

"Please. I have something I need to say, Colt."

This time he couldn't stop the sigh. He'd known he was taking a risk by telling her that he loved her, but he'd believed she was ready to hear it. Judging by the serious expression on her face, he'd been wrong. Now he suspected she was going to try to dump him. Not gonna happen, Cinnamon. You can try, but I'm not letting you win this one. I might make a strategic retreat, but this relationship is far from over.

At the end of the pier, Sage spent a moment staring out at the water and the glorious orange, pink, and purple sunset crowning Murphy Mountain to the west. Colt saw her draw a deep breath, and he braced himself.

Turning, Sage drew a deep breath, then shocked Colt down to his soles.

Sage's knees had gone watery. Her mouth was dry and her heart pounded and a whole flock of b.u.t.terflies had taken up residence in her belly. She couldn't believe she was going to do this. Colt Rafferty was a good man and she might well be able to ruin his life.

She blew out a breath, then said, "The last thing I want to do is to hurt you, and I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm going to do. You see ... oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. I know it's a mistake. Colt, I love you, too."

His mouth dropped open. Sage laughed nervously. "Careful, Rafferty. You're around the water. You'll end up with a mouth full of bugs if you're not careful."

"Say it again, Cinnamon."

She relaxed a little bit. It wasn't often that she managed to surprise this man, so she took a moment to enjoy it before replying, "You'll end up with a mouthful of-"

"Oh, forget about it," he interrupted as he dragged her into his arms for a thorough kiss.

He finally lifted his mouth from hers, but he kept her wrapped in his embrace. Sage felt so safe in his arms, so much at home, that it gave her courage to say, "I love you, Colt, and I want to tell you why I'm such a basket case."

Against her ear, his warm breath murmured, "I love you, too, Sage, and I want to hear it."

"I've never told another soul."

"Okay." He waited.

If I tell him everything and he still wants me, then maybe, just maybe, we might have a chance.

She had to try to make him understand, although she doubted that would be possible. How could anyone who wasn't there that day ever understand? And yet, she suspected that this man, more than anyone she knew, might come close. "You are the first person who hasn't given up on me, Rafferty."

"I'm not going to give up on you, Anderson."

"I'm afraid. I have so much baggage."

"Actually, I've figured that one out." Sage managed to smile a little at the dryness in his tone before he added gently, "Talk to me, sweetheart."

Now she pulled out of his arms and paced the narrow width of the fishing pier. "I don't know how to start."

"How about at the beginning?"

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. She didn't want to go back to the beginning. She didn't want to let anyone else into her world. It was dark and ugly and full of pain. Her pain, bone deep, pain that at this point was stamped into her DNA.

Frankly, now that the moment was here, she was having second thoughts. She wasn't sure she wanted to share it.

The sights. The sounds. The smells. Oh, dear G.o.d in heaven, I don't want to go back to that place.

And the one time she'd tried, to the one man who should have supported her, the attempt had ended in disaster.

She walked up and down the pier. Finally Colt reached for her arm and pulled her to a stop. "Sit with me. You've made me tired just watching you."

They sat and Colt pulled off his boots and socks, then allowed his feet to dangle in the water. "Brrr ... I thought the water might have warmed up by now but it's still just short of freezing. Honey, did something else happen in Africa?"

"Yes," she responded before she realized he'd tricked her with a distraction.

"Tell me about it."

Sage closed her eyes, dropped her head back and lifted her face toward the dying light. In her mind's eye, she saw the children. She heard the singing from the missionary school. "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

A laboring mother's moan as she expelled a brand-new life into Sage's waiting hands. "It's a girl."

The sound of a truck.

No. Sage jerked her head down and banished the memory, but not before the old, familiar guilt flooded her body. Tears welled in her eyes and grateful, she allowed them to fall.

She wept silently, shedding healing tears that she believed were a gift from G.o.d working through the man she loved. As always, Colt was there for her, supporting her, waiting for her to trust him with the truth.

Trust. That's what everything hinged on, wasn't it? In her heart of hearts, she knew that in order to put that awful time behind her, to finally embrace the healing that Colt, her friends, this town and this valley offered to her, she would have to open up and tell him about her biggest secret, her greatest shame. Trust.

"It was six months after I ... after the other incident I told you about. Peter and I and some nurses had traveled to a village down toward the border."

Colt reached out and took her hand, lacing their fingers. "We'd been there two days. People came from all over."

Jesus loves me, this I know.

She exhaled a shuddering breath. "A woman had been in labor for days. Adaeze."

Jesus loves me, this I know.

"Dr. Sage. Dr. Sage. You must help my wife."

Seated on the fishing pier of Hummingbird Lake, tears streaming steadily down her face, she said, "I did an emergency cesarean."

The sound of a truck.

Jesus loves me, this I know.

Sage tugged her hand from his and wrapped her arms around herself. She shook her head, rocking slowly back and forth, the pain inside her as sharp as a machete's blade. "I can't. I'm sorry. I thought I could, but I can't."

"It's okay, baby," Colt said, shifting behind her so that his arms wrapped around hers. He held her as she rocked, holding in the horror. "You will when you're ready."

I'm not ready.

Spit it out, girl. I don't have time for this nonsense. Daddy!

"Don't leave me."

"I won't," Colt murmured. "I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you down, love."

"Maybe not, but I'll let you down. I'm broken, Colt."

"Then we'll put you back together again."

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Jesus loves me, this I know. "All the king's horses, all the king's men ..."

"Shush, baby." He rocked with her. "We'll fix you. I'm a great fixer. You wait and see."

Jesus loves me, this I know.

"How can you not know?" Colt demanded of the woman he hoped would someday be his sister-in-law. Since Sage had left with Snowdrop early this morning to spend part of her day off in Gunnison at the groomer's, he'd used this opportunity to invite Rose to his office. He'd been grilling her about her sister for the past five minutes, and his discouragement was beginning to show. "If she's this distraught five years after the fact, she must have been looney tunes when she arrived back in the States."