HP9999999999 Chapter 4

"My thanks for the meal."

I put my hands together, palm against palm, then pick up a spoonful of omelet rice and bring it to my mouth. The eggs feel deliciously fluffy in my mouth, and I can feel the taste of ketchup spreading across my tongue.

This is the life, right here. I still remember how fond I was of this dish when I was still a human being. Becoming a High King had done nothing to change that.

"Yuuto-sama. I've been wondering this for some time, but you've had the strangest fondness for ver- human cuisine recently. Why is that?"

The question had come from Anri, who had chosen a seat diagonal to my own. She's eating something that bears a strong resemblance to a caterpillar's carca.s.s.

Well, the answer's obvious. As a former human, there's no way I'd ever even reach for something so grotesque. It'd come back up the minute it goes in, I just know it.

"…Hmph. The moment I purge this world of humanity, their dishes will be lost to it. I thought it would be wise to taste them while there still is a chance."

"I see. I would expect nothing less of you, Yuuto-sama. Truly, your wisdom is beyond comprehension."

Not that I have any desire to destroy humanity. I had to say something, at the very least. I doubt Anri would be convinced otherwise.

"However, if you'd prefer, why not have some normal dishes prepared at your leisure? Today's recommended dish is the one I'm eating right now, it's -"

"No, no need of that. I am perfectly satisfied with what I have."

Whatever you people see as 'normal' is the exact opposite for me, okay? Even losing at a penalty game couldn't force me to eat that dreck.

"Once more, thank you for the meal."

I finish my omelet rice and bring my hands back together. I think I'll have them make me some curry tomorrow.

"Was the food to your liking, Yuuto-sama?"

"Hm. It wasn't bad."

Upon hearing my answer, Anri's eyes open up wide, and she drops her fork onto the floor.

What's wrong with her now?

"Not bad…? That means that is wasn't nearly enough to satisfy you, no?! I can only offer my deepest apologies!"

How'd you come to that conclusion?!

"I shall call for whoever it was that made your meal at once! I shall force them to take their life immediately!"

"Calm down, Anri! I am more than satisfied!"

I give a deep, internal sigh. Isn't there anything I can do to curb those violent misconceptions of hers?

*

Night had come. The time for me to go to bed drawing near, I retreat to my sleeping quarters. It was the one room in this monolithic castle I could truly relax in. While the thought of simply cooping myself up in my sleeping chambers and shutting out the world around me had indeed crossed my mind, my position as the High King wouldn't allow it.

Sitting down on that throne inside the large hall and looming with an imposing air is just another honorable duty the High King had to follow. Granted, I mostly do it thanks to the crushing boredom, but that can't be helped…

"…!"

The moment I lie down on my bed to drift off, someone knocks on my door.

Is it Anri? Whatever could she want at this hour…?

I give my permission to enter, and the door opens silently. Right on the money; there was Anri, standing in the frame of the doorway.

Accompanied by three demons in maid uniform, for whatever reason.

"My sincere apologies for intruding so late at night, Yuuto-sama. May we have a bit of your time?"

"Yes. You may."

The three maids incline their heads deeply, then move to the side of the bed and stand side-by-side.

You know, now that I have a good view, they're pretty cute… No, wait. Why are these girls in my bedroom?

"Who are these people, Anri?"

"The people I've entrusted with keeping you company for the night, Yuuto-sama."

"Gurghk…! Cough! Cough!"

I involuntarily choke. Company for the night?! Does that mean what I think it means?!

"What's the matter, Yuuto-sama?! Are you feeling alright?!"

"Y-Yes. But never mind that, Anri. I do not recall making such a request…"

"Oh, this is purely thanks to my own judgment. You've just seemed somewhat tense today, so I brought these maids. Their bodies will help you vent."

"Vent…?!"

"Quite right. It's simply one of the duties of a demon maid."

Well, sure. I killed fifty thousand humans not too long ago, so of course, I'd feel pretty down. I've been trying to act normal all day, but it looks like Anri saw right through my charade…

But her ideas are still too much. I'm a pure, untouched virgin I'll have you know!

"Should my judgment have been false, then I shall take my life without a moment's hesitation!"

"N-No. I am thankful for your sympathy."

"Those words couldn't make me happier."

Oh, boy. I've gone and said it now.

"But is that truly what you wish for?"

My question is aimed at the demon maids. The one standing in the middle is the one to answer.

"Of course, Sire. It would be no exaggeration to say that we have all lived for this moment."

Sure sounds like an exaggeration to me! You should really take better care of your bodies, you know?!

"To tell the truth, I had initially desired to entertain you myself… But I thought it would be best to lose some weight first. Work on increasing my bust size, perhaps…"

"Anri? What are you muttering about over there?"

"Huh?! P-P-Pardon me! More importantly, is there anything that doesn't appeal to you, Yuuto-sama?"

I can't say it doesn't appeal, but… I just can't find the right words…

"Could it be that three alone isn't enough? I can't help but worry that three won't be sufficient, your prowess considered…"

"No, no. This is not a matter of numbers…"

"Are you concerned about their experience, perhaps? I a.s.sure you, there is no need to worry. They are all virgins. So am I, on that note."

"That's not it either…"

"Ah! Is their appearance not to your liking, perhaps?! Or is it their style?!"

"Huh?"

"I apologize, I truly do! I'm at fault for choosing them in the first place! I shall take my own life, along with that of these maids!"

Why do you keep jumping the gun like this?! And don't drag bystanders into your suicide pacts!

"Calm yourself, Anri. They are all to my liking. There is no way your concern for me would leave me unsatisfied, either."

That's really all I can say in this situation…

"I-Is that really true?! I, Anri, am positively overflowing with delight!"

Oh no. It looks like I went down a path I can never go back on.

"Now then, Yuuto-sama. Please enjoy yourself to your heart's content."

And with that Anri leaves the room, leaving the three maids behind.

What to do now? There's no way I can just go and do that sort of thing with these girls…