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A consultation was held, and the question was, should we stay in the city and again demand protection, or should we go on and trust G.o.d to open our way? The latter course was decided upon. But for a long time the carters utterly refused to go farther with us. Again prayer opened up our way, and by two o'clock in the morning all were ready to start.
The official had sent a few foot-soldiers to guide us to _the right road_! (to the waylaying party). The night was very dark, and as we were pa.s.sing through the gate of the city we noticed what seemed to be signal lights put out and drawn in. We all felt these to be signals to the waylaying party ahead. A short distance from the city, probably about one hundred yards, our carts suddenly stopped. Some one ran up and whispered to Mr. Goforth, "Paul and Mr. ---- are missing." Search was made for them, but without success.
A veil must be drawn over those terrible hours of suspense; my faith seemed to fail me, and I could only cry in my agony, "If Paul is gone, can I ever trust G.o.d again?" Then I remembered how marvelously G.o.d had given me back my dear husband's life, and I just committed Paul into his hands and waited to see what he would do.
When all hope was given up of finding the missing ones, a cart was left behind with a trusted servant, and we went on. Then we saw G.o.d's wonderful plan for us. While we were waiting the soldiers had fallen asleep in the carts, and were not aware that the carters were taking a side road until we had gotten miles from the city and beyond the reach of our would-be murderers! The soldiers were infuriated at this discovery; but after some threatening they left us and returned to the city. Thus again we saw that G.o.d was indeed unto us a "G.o.d of deliverances."
Again and again that day we were surrounded by mobs. Many times I held up the poor, dirty clothes which the Mohammedans had given us, and the story of how these had been given quieted the people perhaps more than anything. Once the cry was raised to drag our children's nurse out of the cart; but as we cried to G.o.d for her the people let us alone, and we pa.s.sed on. At another time a man s.n.a.t.c.hed the remains of Mr. Goforth's helmet away from us, and tore it to pieces. I had hoped to keep it as a trophy should we ever get out safely.
We were at this time in a pitiable condition. Most of the men had head or arms bandaged; Dr. ---- was unable to raise his head. What we suffered in those carts with nothing but the boards under us cannot be told. Nine persons were packed in our cart, which under ordinary circ.u.mstances would have held four or five. At noon we reached a large city, where the animals had to rest and feed. Then again we saw an evidence of the Lord's loving kindness over us.
Just as we were getting down from our carts the crowd became very threatening, and it looked now as if our hour had indeed come; but at this critical juncture two well-dressed young men of official cla.s.s came through the crowd, greeting Mr. Goforth in great surprise. They had been received by him in our home at Chang Te Ho. A few words of explanation were spoken, then they turned quickly to the crowd and told them who we were and of the work at Chang Te Ho. The att.i.tude of the people changed instantly, and they made way for us, giving us good rooms, and food was brought which was greatly needed.
That noon, as one after another came up to express their sympathy at Paul's loss, I could say nothing--I was waiting to see what G.o.d would do. When Mr. Goforth told the young officials about Paul and Mr. ----, they were greatly concerned, and promised to send men at once to search for them. These friends in need sent with us a man of the district to guide and help us, and also wrote an urgent letter to the official of the city we were to stay in that night, asking him to give us an escort and help us in every way he could.
About four o'clock that afternoon a man came running after us with the joyful news that Paul and Mr. ---- were safe, and would reach us that night. As I heard this news my unbelief and faithlessness in the hour of testing came over me with overwhelming force, and I could only bow my head and weep. Oh, the goodness and mercy of G.o.d! Never had the love of G.o.d seemed so wonderful as in that hour.
"Could we with ink the ocean fill, Were the whole sky of parchment made, Were every blade of gra.s.s a quill, And every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of G.o.d above Would drain that ocean dry, Nor could the scroll contain the whole Though stretched from sky to sky."
That night we reached our destination about nine o'clock, having traveled seventeen hours over those roads, with but a short break at noon. It was marvelous how Mr. Goforth was sustained, for he was obliged to start at once for the official's residence with the note I have already referred to. On the way through the street the mob about succeeded, several times, in getting him down under their feet; but G.o.d was with him, and he reached the Yamen in safety, being courteously received by the official, who promised us protection, and sent him back to the inn under escort.
When Paul and Mr. ---- arrived that night, they tried in vain to wake me, but nature had to have her way. I knew nothing till I wakened with a start at about two A.M. Jumping up, I started to look for Paul, and never can I forget the scene! The whole party was lying on the bare earthen floor, practically without bedding or mattresses.
A word concerning the experiences of Mr. ----and Paul. The two had got down from their cart and were walking behind. In some way they missed the road in the dark, and became separated from us. During that day they were repeatedly in the gravest danger.
On one occasion, when surrounded by a violent mob, and one man had raised a club above Paul's head to strike him down, Mr. ----felt impelled by some unseen power to shout out, "We are not Roman Catholics, but Protestants." At this the man lowered his club, exclaiming, "Why, these are not the bad foreign devils, but the good foreign devils, like those missionaries at Chow Chia K'eo" (China Inland Mission). At this same place the hearts of the people seemed turned toward them in a wonderful way. One man gave Paul one hundred _cash_ (five cents) to buy some food; another man carried the lad on his back for miles to give his feet a rest, they were so sore. This same man, when he could carry Paul no longer, ran ahead to try and find us. When they reached the inn where we had been so helped by the two Chinese gentlemen, they found that these friends had food prepared and a barrow waiting, also a guide ready to lead them to us!
Less than an hour from the time I awakened we were on the road again.
The official was true to his promise, and a large mounted escort accompanied us. That day we were on the road twenty hours, reaching Fan Cheng at midnight. Here we found the engineers' party waiting for us with boats hired, but we were obliged to remain twenty-four hours in the most loathsome inn we ever had the misfortune to be in in China. It was an unspeakable relief to get into the houseboats, even though we only had bare boards to lie on, and the boat people's food to eat.
We were ten days going down stream to Hankow. One after the other became ill. When still a day from Hankow, a steam tug met us with provisions.
Our children cried at the sight of bread and milk! We were not allowed to stop long enough at Hankow, as we had hoped, to get clothes and other necessaries, but were obliged to hasten on by the first steamer, which left the following morning. I was obliged to borrow garments for myself and the children from our fellow-pa.s.sengers.
At Shanghai the streets were being paraded, and every preparation was being made for an attack. We learned with deep sorrow of the death of many dear friends at the hands of the Boxers. Ordered home by the first steamer, without anything left to us but the old clothes we had on at the time of the attack, how could we get ready in such a short time for the long home voyage? There was no lack of money, for our Board had cabled all we needed. The question that faced us was how could I get clothes made for six of us in such a short time, with Chinese tailors too busy to help, no machine to be had, and no ready-made clothes to be bought except for Mr. Goforth and Paul.
Again I found that man's extremity was but G.o.d's opportunity. He was true to his promise, "G.o.d shall supply all your need." Even as I knelt in an agony of prayer, beseeching G.o.d's help, and asking definitely that some one should be sent to me to help with the sewing, two ladies were at the door asking for me! These were perfect strangers, but had seen our names among the recent refugees, and G.o.d had moved them to come and offer their a.s.sistance! They worked for me night and day until we had to get on board the steamer. Never shall I forget their Christian fellowship and practical help at that time.
But in the rush to get the older children ready, baby Wallace's clothes were neglected. There was nothing for it but to take materials and make things for him on the voyage. In this connection came a most wonderful and precious evidence of G.o.d's power to answer prayer. For the first few days of the journey I worked early and late trying to make something for the little one, who had scarcely anything to wear; but as we were nearing Yokohama I realized I had almost reached the end of my strength.
My needle refused to work; try as I would I could not even see where to put the needle.
Folding up my work I went down to the stateroom, and kneeling down I spread the work before the Lord. Too far gone to agonize in prayer, I could only quietly, almost mutely, just tell him how the poor child had no clothes. Rising with a great sense of the burden having been lifted, I put the work away, locking it in a trunk, then went up on deck and lay down almost insensible from exhaustion. How long a time pa.s.sed I do not know, but it could not have been more than half an hour when some one came and touched me, saying, "We have dropped anchor in Yokohama Bay, and a large bundle has been thrown up on deck from the lighter for you."
"For me!" I cried. "Surely not; I know no one in j.a.pan." Then I thought, "It is the answer come!"
Going down I found a letter from Mrs. O. E., of the China Inland Mission. She said that her little son, the same age as baby Wallace, had died four months before, and the Lord had pressed her to send his complete outfit to me for my child! Opening the parcel, I found not only everything the child could possibly need for a year or more, but much else. Had some one stood beside that dear sister and told her what I most needed, she could not have done differently. Yes, surely Some One did direct her loving hands, and Some One just used her as one of his channels; for she lived near to him, and was an open channel.
Three days later my own collapse came; but praise his great name, he was with me in the darkness and brought me through.
VI
PROVING G.o.d'S FAITHFULNESS (1902-1908)
"The safest place . . . is the path of duty."
ONE of the results of our gracious and merciful deliverance from the hands of the Boxers was an increased desire to make our lives tell in the service of G.o.d--to spend and be spent for him. Our Heavenly Father saw this and just took us at our word, and led us out into the path which meant absolute surrender as I had never known it before.
It is so true that "G.o.d will be no man's debtor." When he asks for and receives our all, he gives in return that which is above price--his own presence. The price is not great when compared with what he gives in return; it is our blindness and our unwillingness to yield that make it seem great.
The following story has been asked for many times. Believing that it has a lesson for others, I give it, though to do so means lifting the veil from a very sacred part of my life.
After the Boxer experience, my husband returned to China in 1901; and, with my children, I left for China in the summer of 1902, leaving the two eldest children at the Chefoo schools, _en route_ to Honan. Mr.
Goforth met me at Tientsin, and together we traveled by river-boat inland a journey of about twenty-four days. During those long, quiet days on the river-boat my husband unfolded to me a carefully thought out plan for future mission work.
He reminded me that six missionaries, from a mission-station which had been destroyed by the Boxers, were now permanently stationed at Changte; and that the main station, now fully equipped, no longer needed us as before. He felt that the time had come when we should give ourselves to the evangelization of the great regions north and northeast of Changte--regions which up to that time had been scarcely touched by the Gospel, because of lack of workers. His plan was that we--husband and wife, with our children--should go and live and work among the people.
To make this possible a native compound would be rented in the center, where we would stay a month for our first visit, leaving behind an evangelist to carry on the work; and we would revisit this and other places so opened as many times as possible in the year.
What this proposition meant to me can scarcely be understood by those unfamiliar with China and Chinese life. Smallpox, diphtheria, scarlet fever, and other contagious diseases are chronic epidemics; and China, outside the parts ruled by foreigners, is absolutely devoid of sanitation.
Four of our children had died. To take the three little ones, then with me, into such conditions and danger seemed literally like stepping with them over a precipice in the dark and expecting to be kept. But, on the other hand, I had the language and experience for just such work, the need was truly appalling, and there was no other woman to do it. In my innermost soul I knew the call had come from G.o.d, but I would not pay the price. My one plea in refusing to enter that life was the risk to the children.
Again and again my husband urged that "the safest place" for myself and the children "was the path of duty"; that I could not keep them in our comfortable home at Changte, but "G.o.d could keep them anywhere." Still I refused. Just before reaching our station he begged me to reconsider my decision. When I gave a final refusal, his only answer was: "I fear for the children."
The very day after reaching home our dear Wallace was taken ill. For weeks we fought for his life; at last the crisis pa.s.sed and he began to recover. Then my husband started off alone on his first trip! He had been gone only a day or two when our precious baby Constance, a year old, was taken down with the same disease that Wallace had. From the first there seemed little or no hope. The doctors, a nurse, and all the little mission circle joined in the fight for her life. Her father was sent for, but arrived just as she was losing consciousness. A few hours later, when we were kneeling round her bedside waiting for the end, my eyes seemed suddenly opened to what I had been doing--_I had dared to fight against Almighty G.o.d_.
In the moments that followed G.o.d revealed himself to me in such love and majesty and glory that I gave myself up to him with unspeakable joy.
Then I knew that I had been making an awful mistake, and that I could indeed safely trust my children to him wherever he might lead. One thing only seemed plain, that I must follow where G.o.d should lead. I saw at last that G.o.d must come first. Before the precious body was laid away preparations for our first trip were begun.
Was G.o.d faithful to the vision he had given me? Or did he allow the children to suffer in the years that followed, when months each year were spent with them right out among the people? As I write this, eighteen years have pa.s.sed since we started on that first trip, and none of our children have died. Never had we as little sickness as during that life. Never had we so much evidence of G.o.d's favor and blessing in a hundred ways--as may be gathered from the definite testimonies which follow.
Without one exception, every place in which we stayed for a month, and opened as my husband had planned, became in time a growing church.
And I found, to my surprise, that I was able to give more time to the children, that I was able to guard them better when on those trips than when in the Changte Station. For the mission compound was large, and often the children were out of my sight for hours at a time; whereas the outside native compounds we lived in were so small the children were always within sight and reach. Even when groups of women were listening to the Gospel, I was able to direct the children's lessons. As I look back on that time, my heart is filled with overflowing grat.i.tude to G.o.d for the wonderful grace and strength he gave for that life.
My great regret is that I did not keep a record of answers to prayer. I find it most difficult to record just what "asking and getting things from G.o.d" meant at that time, but it now seems to me to have been the very foundation of the whole life. The instances of answers to prayer, here recorded, are simply the ones connected with that life which stand out most clearly in my memory of those years.
The first answer came the morning after our dear Constance died, and was the one that had the greatest, most far-reaching effect on the new life and its work.
As I thought of facing the crowds of heathen women day by day, and what it would mean to carry on aggressive evangelism outside, there was one need I felt must be met--that of a Bible-woman. As I prayed for direction, a Mrs. w.a.n.g Hsieh-sheng came to mind as the one I should ask.
But when I laid my request before her, that she come with me, she burst into tears, saying: "I dare not. I have only one child left, and it would risk her life too much."