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She'd frightened her friends.
They were probably upset with her.
Could be they even hated her. Why not? There was a lot of hate going around. h.e.l.l, she had plenty to spare, most of it self-directed.
It was stupid.
Senseless.
But there you go.
The Accord's dome light was on, and Dream saw that its remaining occupants were still arguing, albeit in a somewhat less heated manner. Dream wanted to shake them all, make them come to their senses, see that they ought to treat each other better and with more respect. Yeah, right. She'd have an easier time preaching tolerance at a white supremacy rally.
They reached the Accord and Dream slumped down on its hood. Alicia stood in front of her, her arms crossed over her chest. "Now we should talk, girl."
Dream sighed. "How could Dan have done this to me,
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Alicia?" Her eyes moistened again. "Why do these terrible things keep happening to me? All I want is a normal life. All I want is somebody to love me. Why can't I have that?"
Now it was Alicia's turn to sigh. "Honey, I know you've had a rough time. Trust me, though, this really isn't the time to deal with this." She paused. "And I think I ought to do any driving there might be left to do tonight."
But Dream couldn't let the question go. Not yet. "Why, Alicia?"
Alicia shook her head. "s.h.i.t, you're really going to make me do this, aren't you?" She took a deep breath. "This keeps happening to you because you've never gotten over that insufferable little a.s.shole in the backseat." She raised a hand to stifle Dream's protest. "Don't insult me with your denials. I know you, girl. Here's a hard truth, sweetie, and I want you to take this to heart. Whatever you saw in him originally is gone. He lost his humanity the moment that World Lit frump popped his cherry. He became like every other loser you've ever attached yourself to-obnoxious and full of himself." She released a big breath. "It's time you moved on, Dream."
Dream pouted, breathed a petulant sigh. "Why can't I attract a real man?"
Alicia's voice was thick with frustration. "G.o.dd.a.m.n, Dream. The only real man is one who'll treat you with respect and dignity. It's high time you got clued in to that."
Dream flinched. "Oh ..."
"Sorry." Alicia continued in a softer tone. "Try to really listen to me and stop being such a little drama queen. I know you, Dream. You're better than that."
Dream looked away from her friend and didn't say anything.
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The discourse on Dream's failed romantic life was brought to a merciful end by the sound of the others getting out of the Accord. Chad Robbins, hands in his pockets, sauntered over to where Alicia was standing. "She okay?"
Dream gasped at the sight of Alicia's hand snapping hard across Chad's startled face. "No, motherf.u.c.ker, she's not okay. Now go away!"
Chad adjusted his gla.s.ses, rubbed his stinging flesh, and said, "Well, so much for the caring, sensitive approach. f.u.c.k both of you."
Shane Wallace shook his head at all of them, swung his legs over the guardrail, and disappeared into a stand of trees. Karen Hidecki reached the gathering at the front of the car and staggered to a slow halt. "Shane's taking a leak. I would, too, but I don't wanna go in the woods."
Chad snorted. "The toxic twosome. One day pictures of your livers will be shown to middle-school students as a warning on the dangers of alcohol abuse."
Karen frowned. "How'd you get to be so mean, Chad?"
Alicia looked at him. "I'd like to know the answer to that myself."
Chad smirked. "Lots of people would like to know what makes me tick. I'm just a fascinating guy. But I have a few questions of my own I'd like answered, starting with where the h.e.l.l are we and why are we here?"
Dream said, "Somewhere a little east of Chattanooga. And we're here because a few of my friends stopped acting like civilized human beings."
"And once again the una.s.sailable Dream Weaver, she of the single stupidest name in recorded history, laughably
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attempts to place herself on the moral high road." The mocking tone, a stable of Chad's verbal a.r.s.enal, had long ago lost its ability to sting. What was shocking to Dream was the unadulterated anger in his voice. This was something new, these outward displays of hatefulness. "Allow me to remind you of a few key things, your highness. One, tricky maneuvers involving automobiles and hairpin curves are best left to professional racers. They certainly should not be performed by unmedicated manic-depressives, especially not by PMS-ing manic-depressives. Two, and I think I should emphasize this as dramatically as possible..." Here his voice rose drastically in pitch. "YOU ALMOST GOT US f.u.c.kING KILLED, YOU STUPID f.u.c.kING BLOND BIMBO b.i.t.c.h!"
Karen Hidecki said, "Whoa ... oh, wow ..."
"Chad," Alicia said, calmer than Dream would ever have imagined her friend being under circ.u.mstances such as these, "I know you don't give a d.a.m.n about anybody's feelings but your own, but I'm telling you to keep a lid on your bulls.h.i.t. Otherwise I'll have to hurt you. That's not a threat, it's a promise."
Karen turned her sullen face away from the line of trees. "You'll have help, too."
Then her gaze went back to the impenetrable darkness of the forest. Heartache was evident in every nuance of her posture and facial features. She exuded regret in a way that was almost a physical presence. It was painful to observe.
Dream slid off the Accord's hood and approached Chad, who instinctively backpedaled a step. She took a grim satisfaction in the look of utter surprise on his face. Well, he would be surprised, of course-a genuine act of
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confrontation would be the last thing Chad would expect from her.
She stepped right up to him. "What did I ever do to you, Chad?" She strove to make her voice as calm as Alicia's, hoped to fill it with even a fraction of that same withering quality. "I really would like to know, because I've never been anything but a friend to you. I've supported you through every crisis in your life. I've been your shoulder to cry on when girlfriends left you. I've thought about it, really dredged my f.u.c.king memory, and I can't think of a single thing I've done to warrant this viciousness. But obviously there's something I'm missing. Please do me the favor of telling me what it is. You owe me that much."
Chad glared at her for another long moment, then the hardness went out of his face, like air escaping from a balloon. His shoulders sagged and he suddenly seemed very tired. Like the rest of them. "Okay" he said, sighing. "There is something."
Alicia grunted. "This should be rich."
Chad opened his mouth to say something, then appeared to hesitate. Finally, he said, "I don't know if I should tell you." Another hesitation. "You might want to kill me."
Dream felt a nameless terror rising in the back of her mind. She was right on the cusp of knowing what he was talking about. "No..."
Chad nodded. "Yeah." A sheepish expression distorted his features. "I've known about your little secret all along, Dream."
Dream shot a horrified glare at Alicia. "You didn't?"
The exasperated look on Alicia's face was enough to dispel
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her suspicion, though. "I never said a G.o.dd.a.m.n word, Dream. I keep my word, girl."
They heard Karen sigh. "I told him." She kept her back turned to them. "I guess I'm just full of character defects. No honor." Her voice grew quiet. "Not worthy of trust."
Chad rolled his eyes. "Break out the violins and strike up the self-pity orchestra. Jesus Christ." His gaze fixed on Dream. "Let's stop f.u.c.king around and get this all out in the open. I've known all along about your so-called suicide attempt. What's funny is how you went to great lengths to cover up such a stupid plea for attention. You had to know it would get back to me somehow. And why is it I can't stop thinking that was what you wanted all along-to make me feel guilty for failing to fall at your feet and pledge my undying devotion? You need help, Dream. Serious help. And you need to stop laying your troubles at my feet. It's not fair."
Dream's eyes brimmed with tears again.
She wrenched her gaze away from him. "You a.s.shole. ..."
Chad grunted. Dream didn't need to see the smirk on his face to know it was there. "Yeah, I'm an a.s.shole. And you're the most selfish-"
Dream didn't know what she was doing until she had done it. Her clenched fist struck Chad's midsection with a force that surprised both of them. It was the first time in her life she'd hit anyone in anger. Chad clutched his stomach, bent over, and gasped for air. His gla.s.ses slid from his face and tumbled to the asphalt, where they landed with a crack.
There was a long period of relative silence during which
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the only sound was that of Chad's attempts to regain his breath. Dream knew right away her friends were shaken by the sight of her a.s.saulting another human being. Sure, Chad probably deserved some form of punishment, maybe even a good thrashing, but no one would have expected Dream to administer it. Dream was kindhearted. Dream was a hippy-dippy pacifist who listened to Phish and fawned over every puppy she met. Dream wore tie-dyed T-shirts and always had a flower in her hair in the springtime. She was a kind of benevolent earth G.o.ddess. She was, well, a flake.
This wasn't that Dream, the one they all knew and loved.
This was a tigress.
"d.a.m.n you for making me do that, Chad." She sniffled again. "d.a.m.n you."
Alicia touched her elbow. "Easy, Dream."
Dream flinched from the touch. She wasn't ready to be consoled. She wasn't done addressing Chad, either. "It breaks my heart to say this, but you better know I mean it.
I don't ever want to see you again after this. You can officially absolve yourself of any guilt, real or imagined, I may have caused you."
Chad held his stomach a moment longer. He examined his broken gla.s.ses and cast them aside. He wore them for nearsightedness, but he could see okay without them. He got shakily to his feet. "Okay." There was a note of sad resignation in his voice. "I guess that's the way it has to be."
"Thank G.o.d," Alicia said. "This is eons overdue, if you ask me."
"Amen "Karen said.
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Chad sneered. "Hypocrite."
Alicia shot a warning glance at Chad, then addressed Dream. "Sweetie, do you have an Atlas in your car? A Mobil guide?"
Chad shook his head. "What do you want, a four-star hotel? Let's just find the nearest Rathole Inn and call it a night."
Alicia smirked. "Appropriate, since you are a rat."
Dream looked at Alicia. "I don't have an Atlas or anything like that. There was one in Dan's car, but... well..." She turned her hands up helplessly. "But I saw one of those road signs with symbols on it before I pulled off the interstate. I'm pretty sure there was one of those lodging icons on it."
Alicia nodded. "Okay, so if we drive a little bit down this road, we ought to come to one of those cl.u.s.ters of motels and convenience stores soon enough."
Dream said, "I think so."
The discussion about what to do next continued as Karen Hidecki drifted away from them. She reached the guardrail and stood there as she studied the stand of trees. Shane was out there somewhere. She strained to detect any evidence of his presence, but there was nothing-just darkness and the occasional flicker of shadow as the breeze stirred tree limbs. Something about the inscrutable blackness disturbed her, made her hug herself even though the night was warm. It occurred to her that Shane had been out there a long time.
Almost as if on cue, a scream emanated from somewhere in the woods.