Honey on Your Mind Part 29

I nodded, my eyes half-closed. I still hadn't asked him about him about what I'd heard. I desperately wanted to, but I just...couldn't.

"I'm sure your mom hates me," I whispered back, then immediately regretted it. Lame.

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Go back to sleep."

I put my hand on my forehead. "I knew it. She hated me."

"Hey now, I didn't say that. Don't worry, she'll warm up."

"I wish I could have washed my hair. I bet she totally smelled the fried chicken wafting off me. Smelling like dead fowl does not a good first impression make."

He laughed again. "You're nuts. I've got to run now. Are you going to visit Shane next week?"

I nodded. "Probably."

"I'm going to try him from the airport, but I may not be able to get through, so if he hasn't heard from me when you see him, tell him I'll track him down soon. I'm sure his voice mail is about to blow up."

I hoped that wasn't the only thing about to blow up.

He shut the door behind him, and I cursed myself for not having the guts to speak up.

You suck, Waverly.

On the train ride home, I had a hard time focusing. So many things in my life were changing, and I couldn't control any of them. As I watched the countryside roll by outside the window, thoughts flew around in my head like shrieking bats. The noise was relentless: My dad is getting married!

Andie is moving in with her boyfriend!

McKenna is a mother!

Shane's career might be over!

My new career is just getting started!

My new business is opening in a week!

My boss drinks too much!

My friend is sleeping with her husband!

Jake's mother hates me!

I knew that last one was an exaggeration, but she was hardly warm and fuzzy. She'd definitely softened around the edges a bit as Christmas Day wore on, but it would be an overstatement to say she'd been outright nice to me. Thankfully, everyone else had been wonderful. But rising above the din and impossible to ignore, no matter how hard I tried, was what I'd overheard.

Is Jake moving to Los Angeles?

Why hasn't he said anything to me?

Why doesn't his mother like me?

She's his mom. If she doesn't like me, does that mean we're doomed?

Is what she said about our future true?

Was it a mistake to give him my keys?

I was still mad at myself for not talking openly with Jake, but I couldn't figure out a way to do so without it all turning into something bigger than I was ready for.

What was I supposed to say, anyway?

Blech.

The countryside kept flying by outside. So much change. So much movement. So little certainty.

On top of everything else, I kept thinking about Wendy and Gary. I couldn't shake that vision of Wendy, sitting alone in the conference room with a bottle of vodka. What had gone wrong with them? Was it Wendy's career ambition that had caused Gary to stray? Was that even a fair question to ask?

Is my career getting in the way of a future with Jake?

Is Jake's career getting in the way of a future with me?

I don't want to move.

I don't want to lose Jake.

Should I want to move?

It's hard enough now. How long could we make it with even more distance between us?

Ugh. I could hardly keep up with my present, much less envision my future.

I sighed and pressed my face against the gla.s.s to watch the changing scenery outside.

a a a "Does it hurt?" I asked.

Shane shook his head. "It did for a couple days, but not anymore. They've loaded me up on painkillers. I'm actually feeling good right now."

It was a few days later, and Shane and Kristina and I were in their enormous, luxury apartment. Shane was resting in a recliner chair in the living room, his left leg propped up on pillows. Kristina was a few feet away, rolling out cookie dough on a granite island that separated the kitchen and living areas.

"Watch those painkillers," Kristina pretended to scold him. "I don't want you to end up in a back alley somewhere looking for your next fix. G.o.d knows I see enough of those types at the hospital. I certainly don't need to be living with one."

He laughed. "Got it, boss."

I watched them tease each other and wondered why they were in such a good mood. If Shane's career was indeed in jeopardy, as everyone had been saying, shouldn't they be upset? At least a little bit? Was I missing something?

"So what happens now? Are you already planning your big comeback?" I asked.

Shane took a sip of water. "I don't think so. I think I've had enough of life on the road."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It looks glamorous, but it's sort of a grind, as I'm sure Jake has told you."

I let out a small sigh that may or may not have been noticeable. Please don't make me think about Jake right now.

Shane shifted slightly in the recliner. "So I could probably try to come back, but I think it's time to hang it up and start a new chapter."

"Hang it up? Really? But what about winning a championship? Kristina told me you didn't want to retire until you had a ring."

He glanced at Kristina before looking at me. "I guess you could say my priorities have changed."

"Your priorities have changed?"

He nodded but didn't elaborate.

"Are you going to become a TV a.n.a.lyst?" Shane was smart and articulate, which made the transition seem like a no-brainer.

He nodded. "Yes, well, that, and..." His voice trailed off.

"That and what?"

Silence.

I raised my eyebrows. "Hola?"

"It's OK. You can say it," Kristina said to Shane.

I looked over at her. "Say what?"

"Go ahead, say it," Kristina said.

I looked back at Shane. "Say what?"

He smiled. "Yes, I'm going to become a TV a.n.a.lyst...and a dad."

I whipped my head toward Kristina. "What?"

She laughed. "Yes, it's true."

My eyes got big. "You're prego?"

She walked up behind Shane's chair and put her hands on her hips. "Officially knocked up as of seven weeks ago. Can you believe it?"

"No way! I thought you guys were going to wait until Shane's career was over to have kids."

"We were, but sometimes Mother Nature has her own ideas. So this injury, while unfortunate, has a silver lining." She leaned down and kissed Shane's enormous bald head.

I smiled. "Wow, that's so exciting! You must be thrilled."

Shane shifted again in the recliner and adjusted his leg. "Terrified is a better word for it. I have no idea what to do with a baby."

"Oh, shush," Kristina said. "You have good hands, and I'm a pediatrician. We'll be fine."

Kristina left to use the bathroom, and Shane turned to me. "So Jake's good?"

I nodded. "Why do you ask?"

He shook his head. "No reason."

He clearly knew something, but I let it go.

On the way home from Kristina and Shane's place, I couldn't stop thinking about the way Shane had described the major changes in his life.

It's time to move on to a new chapter.

I pulled the keys to my new office out of my purse and ran my fingers across them. Honey on Your Mind was still so new, and Waverly's Honey Shop was just finding its footing as well. New York was definitely a new chapter in my life, but in some ways, I felt years behind Shane and Kristina.

I also felt years behind McKenna.

In a way, I even felt behind Andie. At least she and Nick were moving forward. As his mother had so graciously pointed out, Jake and I didn't even live in the same state. The best I could say was that Georgia was in the same time zone as New York, which was closer than when I'd lived in San Francisco. Could we make it if he moved to Los Angeles?

I looked at my reflection in the streaked gla.s.s of the subway window. Why do I keep comparing myself to other people?

Suddenly I remembered something Shane said to me way back when I first met him. In a cla.s.sic Waverly moment, I had blurted out something about feeling that I was missing the boat because I was nearly thirty and hadn't figured it all out yet as everyone else seemed to have done. He told me not to be so concerned about what other people were doing with their lives.

Life is not a basketball game, he said. No one is keeping score but you.

I turned to my reflection again...and reflected.

Look at all you've done, Waverly.

In a few short months, I'd started a brand new life, and who cared it if wasn't on the same track as my friends' lives. The truth was, I'd managed to go from carrying a subway map at all times to feeling like a bona fide New Yorker, all on my own.

I now had keys to my own office.

I had a good job at NBC.

I even had developed a growing disdain for tourists.

I squeezed the keys in my hand and smiled at the person in the window.

She might be a little neurotic, but she was doing just fine.

a a a I called Jake after dinner. I rarely caught him live at this hour, so I was planning to leave him a voice mail while channel surfing, but he surprised me by picking up.

"Are your ears burning?"

I put the remote control on the coffee table as I sat down on the couch. "Huh?"

"Are your ears burning? I was just talking about you."